A/N: Holy crap this is fic number 70! I do have a life outside of fanfiction I promise!
I know you didn't ask for it but this is for you Clai. My twin ;) Read the first sentence and you'll understand why.
And it's kind of because it's my 18th birthday tomorrow (14th June)(My mum and dad have already started the 'this time 18 years ago...' thing) and I should get reviews on my birthday =D And my perfect birthday present would be lots and lots of MerAdd and/or Addisam fics pretty please =DD
Love Kelly. X.
I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with a woman. No, that's a lie. I didn't think I'd ever make a life with a woman. But then I met you. Ok, that's a lie too, when I met you I was sleeping with a man who I didn't know was married. But then I met you, his wife. Let's start this again. After the dirty prom sex, and the appendicitis, and then being dumped on my ass by the man who was soon to be your ex-husband. I met you. Joe's bar was crazy busy, the only empty stool was the one next to you. I think we surprised each other when we started to have a conversation. We surprised each other more when we realized we were actually enjoying it. And then your hand was resting on my knee, and we didn't really notice our bodies moving closer together, your hand slipping up my thigh, your finger making a pattern against the fabric of my jeans. Usually at this point I'd be saying, so we got really drunk, made out a little then I took you back to my place and we had hot hot sex. Wrong. That didn't happen.
We said goodbye. A 'we should do this again sometime' coming from your lips. And we did do it again. At least once a week for the next 2 months. Cristina was still my person but you were slowly becoming my best friend. You just, got me, you understood. And I actually ended up forgetting about the Derek issue. And you watched as he approached me, all 'Hi, I'm Derek Shepard' and as my eyes connected with yours I knew I couldn't go back to him. I didn't want to go back to him. So I said something about 'too late' and 'water under the thing or whatever' and I moved away from him and sat down next to you, you squeezed my hand before ordering us tequila shots. That was the first night I slept in the same bed as you. When I woke we were still fully dressed and on top of the covers, our bodies tangled together. I probably should have moved away but, the way your arms felt around me, it made me feel safe. So I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
Our first kiss happened a month later. We were sat on the sofa in your new apartment. I'd helped you choose it. The sofa and the apartment. And we were laughing about god knows what, and we were laughing, and laughing, and suddenly our lips were together, our tongues were slipping against each others, our hands were moving across hips and waists and moving into hair and light moans were coming from the backs of our throats. As we pulled away our foreheads pressed together. We shared a small peck before you held me in your arms. We woke up on that sofa the next morning.
There was a lot of kissing that week. We never talked about the kissing but there was a lot of it. Every single time we passed each other one of us would drag the other into a supply closet, an on-call room, a deserted hallway and we'd be kissing. I'd go over to your apartment and as soon as you opened the door we'd be kissing. Then it was a week later and our hands started to wander, a little more than they had been. Your hands pulled at the bottom of my shirt, I lifted my arms and it was off within seconds. Then so was yours. And we moved back towards your bedroom, your lips moving down to my neck, my hands unzipping your skirt. Everything we did was slow. Like we wanted to savour every moment. And then it was over an hour later and we were lying in a mess of limbs and glowing skin. I pretty much knew in that moment, when you looked into my eyes and all I saw was love, that I was falling for you. That was when I knew.
My friends actually started to get worried when 2 weeks later I hadn't slept in my own bed once. There was only so many times I could use the 'I fell asleep in an on-call room' excuse. So we decided to just go for it. I hate to use the phrase but it was time to 'come out of the closet'. So you started to come and spend nights with me at my place. And I'm pretty sure George and Izzie almost choked on their toast when we walked into the kitchen that first morning hand in hand. Correction. They did choke on their toast. But that was only after we shared a kiss, a kiss that became, heated shall we say. We didn't mean it too but that was kind of our thing. Kissing. It will always be our thing.
Cristina thought I was a lunatic. She probably had a point. But I didn't care. She might be my person but I tend not to listen to her when it comes to love. She's only ever right half the time. Alex just said he thought it was hot. I kind of expected that. Izzie and George said 'If you're happy, we're happy' I expected that too. At first Mark thought we were playing some sort of joke on everyone when he saw us holding hands. But then we kissed each other goodbye and I'm pretty sure we accidently used some sexual innuendos in a passing conversation. He believed it after that. And then the moment we were both anxious about came crashing into us. A showdown in the cafeteria. He said we were being ridiculous. We were rebounding with each other. It wouldn't work out. Apparently I belonged with him. He obviously didn't get the message when I turned him down at the bar. So I told him to back off, that this wasn't some sort of game, it was real. He glared down at us before saying we deserved each other and storming off. We both let out heavy sighs. But we got over it. It wasn't his business. It was ours. And he was right. We did deserve each other. We deserved happiness. And that's what we had.
Several things happened over the following few months. I almost drowned. Well, not almost, I did. For a short amount of time I was actually dead. I was surprised when you told me that Derek had been there to keep you calm. He'd pulled me from that water and then kept you calm while they got me back. My Mom died that day. But it was ok, we were ok. Even though we both knew how we felt about each other, that was the first time we said 'I love you'. And you spent hours sat in the chair next to my hospital bed, your head placed next to me as I stroked your hair. You have no idea how much I wanted to hold you when I saw tears in your eyes. So when I healed, when the bruises started to fade, we spent a whole day lying on your sofa watching crappy TV, your head against my heart.
George moved out when he married Callie weeks before, so when Alex needed a place to stay he moved in. And then one day, a few weeks later, I wanted out, out of that house. I wanted to be with you, in your apartment, an apartment I helped you choose, where it all started. I didn't sell the house, it wasn't costing me anything, the rent Izzie and Alex gave me payed for everything. So I let them stay. And I moved in with you. That was the day I knew for sure that we were more than a couple, we were a partnership, a family.
I had a short lived relationship with my father. Then his wife Susan died from the hiccups and he slapped me. End of relationship. I couldn't write anything on my intern test. I think if the Chief didn't harbor guilt about my mother I would have failed. I got my second chance and passed. I really needed you to hold me that week. I wouldn't have got through it if it wasn't for you. And then Burke broke Cristina's heart and you were understanding when I said I needed to go with her to Hawaii, even though we had plans, he wouldn't have understood, but you did. I came home 2 weeks later to find you in the shower, you almost had a heart attack when I pulled back the screen, but then you were pulling me in fully clothed and we were kissing like we'd been apart for 2 years, not 2 weeks.
My first year of residency went by in a flash, and it was in the second year that we celebrated our second anniversary. And it's that night, after a marathon of anniversary sex, we're lying together, in that same mass of limbs and glowing skin, and I'm still seeing love in your eyes, that I ask you to marry me. We're in Boston 2 weeks later. We go home as Forbes Montgomery-Grey's. Even Derek says congratulations, I think seeing your reaction when I was slowly slipping away was enough to realize that it really wasn't a game. At the end of my second year of residency we fly to LA, and the fertility tests we have your friend Naomi do show that you can't have kids. I hold you all night as you cry. I tell you that it's ok. That even if I'm the one who goes through the pregnancy, the child will be as much yours as it is mine. My tests come back clear. We pick a donor. We fly back with our hands on my stomach, dreaming of the child that might be growing in there.
9 months later and I'm screaming at you for more drugs as I push our little angel into the world. Freya Elouise Forbes Montgomery-Grey. She's too perfect for words. We're both crying as she's placed on my chest. And you kiss me softly and tell me you love me. You say thank you. I say 'No, thank you'. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with a woman. No, that's a lie. I didn't think I'd ever make a life with a woman. But now, as I watch you sleeping on our sofa, 3 week old Freya fast asleep against your chest, I know that's exactly what I have. A life. A love. A family. And you, Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Grey, are the reason for that. And I will never stop thanking you.