This piece I wrote and performed for a recent character recital, and in thinking of a musical/show/film that had characters and moments that could make great monologue material, I instantly thought of 'Be More Chill'!

Set between 'The Squip Song' and the scene at the Menlo Park Mall, this monologue is Jeremy's inner debate on whether or not he should get himself a 'Squip', as he ponders his reasons why and why not to take a risk to completely change his 'ordinary' life.

The piece has a light, slightly comedic tone, which has been chosen mainly to suit the nature and audience of the night to which I originally performed the monologue. As I usually perform more dramatic or emotional pieces, this was an exciting monologue to write and to perform. I also connected a lot to the character of Jeremy when I first listened to the musical, and is one of my favorite characters, so it was awesome to get inside his head a bit and try to write something for him.

In planning a monologue to perform, I also came up with a concept for a Michael centered piece, based around the "really pissed-off monologue" he mentions in the scene with Jeremy right before 'Michael in the Bathroom'. Due to the scene itself having darker undertones, and being better suited to a dramatic rather than comedic style monologue (and therefore not being the best material and mood for my given time slot), I decided to go on with the Jeremy piece. However, I am planning to write a monologue for Michael as well, as well as some for the other characters possibly.

If anyone would like to perform this piece, or has any feedback or constructive criticism (as this is my first time writing for this fandom, and I am still very new at writing monologues), please leave a review or PM me.

Enjoy!

~Sophie

To Survive or Thrive

Jeremy Heere Monologue

Inspired by the musical 'Be More Chill' (2015),

Music & Lyrics by Joe Iconis and Book by Joe Tracz, Based on the novel by Ned Vizzini

C'mon, Jeremy. You can do this. You want this. You need this! Make a decision for once in your life! You do want to be cool, don't you? Don't tell me you're backing out now just cause you're a little bit afraid of having a supercomputer inside your head…

Seriously, how else am I ever going to get Christine to notice me?

I have tried to tell her how I really feel about her in person …once…ended up spending the day in hospital. Everyone thought I'd had a seizure and fainted, when really it was…well, let's just say the humiliation count for the day was a record I'll never be able to beat. And the best part – Christine didn't even see it. Talk about hopeless…

Now the closest I can get to telling her how I feel is by writing her a letter, which is proving even worse. I went from not even being able to write the words on the page, to continuously throwing them out, and then, when I finally got to the stage when they sounded okay, I couldn't even give them to her, because I'm too nervous to deal with the possibility that she sees me and then wants to talk to me and -

And it's not just with Christine… I never know what to say, how to say it, when to say it. I'm not even good enough to be 'the loser' kid. You know, that 'nobody' character in those movies who always gets picked on until they find out that they are the one who ends up saving the planet. As for me, well I'm doomed to be less than a loser until the end of the world, probably after that too.

The only person who's ever seen beneath all the hopelessness and the weirdness and the awkwardness is Michael, the best-est friend I could ever ask for. He's a guy who is so unique and different, with his retro music and out-of-print video games, yet he's somehow able to be the right kind of invisible without even trying. He's never cared about being popular, and he keeps telling me that being me is enough for him, but is it enough for me?

I mean, if you had the chance to make yourself a better you, who wouldn't take it?

But via a Japanese supercomputer, placed inside a pill that hooks up to your brain so it can talk to you and tell you how to be popular? … I wouldn't even go see a movie with that premise – it sounds that messed up. And there's nothing about them online, these 'Squips'. How is that even possible, for something this advance and powerful to not be anywhere on the internet?

What if Michael's right? What if I'm just being scammed? Or what if this is a setup? What if I get arrested for possession of illegal cyber drugs and end up with a criminal record? Or even worse – what if I get there and instead of getting cool, I end up walking myself into utter humiliation for the rest of my existence?

But then again, what if this 'Squip' thing actually exists, and all that Rich was saying is true? I mean, part of his crazy speech did make a bit of sense.

Even now, I still have no idea that Rich existed a year ago, and now, suddenly he's one of the most popular, all the while scariest people in the entire school. That, in itself, is pure science fiction…

How does it even work, the whole process of 'connecting to the 'Squip''? Does it hurt? How long does it take to 'install' once I take it? What if it can't find a way to fix me? Would it have the power to take over me completely? What if I get like an actual computer virus inside of me, and it leaks out all the embarrassing stuff I think about to the entire world? Or it malfunctions and turns me into some kind of creepy, Terminator thing?!

If I really think about it, there are parts of my life that could be worse. I'm doing okay at my school work, I still kind of have a good dad around. And I have Michael. Without him, I doubt I would be surviving the apocalypse that is high school.

But… that's all I ever do. Through school, through my entire life… I've been just surviving. I'm sick of just wanting to survive, of being stuck on one level and never moving onto the next. This 'Squip', if it ends up being real and everything Rich says it can be, my whole life could change. It sounds crazy and impossible, but that's not important anymore. I'm desperate. I don't need to be special or the hero – I just want to be a me that I wish I could be. That me is now just one update away, and there is no way I can pass this up.

Okay, so I'm doing it… I'm actually getting a 'Squip'…what could possibly go wrong, right?