And here it is; my first foray into the absolute chaos of Naruto fanfiction. For any readers who do not know, this is not my first fanfiction, but it is my first Naruto writings, and my first time, I believe, writing in this style. Hopefully it makes sense, and doesn't deviate too far from the Naruto story. Because I have no real idea about Shippuuden (or however you spell it), the latter parts are mostly conjecture. Actually, the whole thing is mostly conjecture, so if I've ruined it terribly, please let me know.
At any rate, enough babbling by me. I should probably just let you read now. :D
Disclaimer: Well, when you look up the copyright to Naruto, do you get the name of some seventeen-year-old from Australia? No. So, I guess that means I don't own it.
Note: This is a oneshot.
To be a weapon implies a loss of freedom – the freedom to choose, the freedom to be and the freedom to love. Naruto was supposed to be a weapon, the weapon; it was why he lived. He had all of these freedoms, and yet, he still sacrificed, still lost, still mourned. Being a weapon doesn't necessarily mean losing your freedom – it means giving it up because something else is more important. And to Konoha's nine-tailed jinchuuriki, there are so many important things that he would and has sacrificed himself for, that he is a whole arsenal of weaponry without even knowing.
At one year of age, he has already lost his parents, both of them, to powers unknown to his infantile mind. All he can comprehend is that none of these people who care for him radiate that inexplicable feeling of safe and good and family and home. It is not until much later that he learns his mother was a survivor and his father a legend, and that his legacy is to be a legend that will survive the harshest ravages of time. But for now, he is a child, and all he knows is that things are not quite how they should be.
By the age of five, the little blond boy knows he is different. People stare, whisper, point; they hate and fear too, and he can smell it, smell the negative emotions, but he doesn't know what he did to make them feel like this. But even then, some twisted, hollow, empty part of himself enjoys the attention, because at least it means they know he is there. He would far rather be yelled at, cursed by villagers until they are blue in the face and his face is slick with tears – because this is better, far better than being ignored. Anything is better than to be ignored.
It is during this time, this period of being able to comprehend hatred but not understand it, that he begins to formulate a dream. As the boy wanders the streets, shunned by the villagers and civilians he encounters, he sees the occasional ninja, sees the reverence and respect, the positive acknowledgement they are given, and it is here that he begins to desire it for himself. When he sees one man wearing a sacred headband being given free ramen because he caught a thief earlier in the week, the boy knows that one day, he will be a ninja – the greatest ninja – and everyone will know him.
When he is enrolled, seemingly at random, in the village's Academy to train raw recruits in the ways of a ninja, his resolve hardens, and his goal begins to take shape. As he learns – even though any of his classmates would call him a clown and an idiot, incapable of retaining any sort of information; as well as the majority of his teachers – of the structure of a Hidden Village and the ninja world at general, everything crystallises and he knows what he will do. One day, he will become the greatest Hokage, and everyone will respect him and never ignore him again. Because this is his dream, to be a shinobi, a weapon; the greatest weapon – this will be the reason he lives.
In the year he turns twelve, he manages to graduate from the Academy, seemingly a miracle in the eyes of the majority of the village. He manages to become the lowliest ninja of his beloved village, and manages to gain a friend, confidant and perhaps even some strange sort of a family member in Umino Iruka. He has one person who will acknowledge him, and vows soon to have more. Soon, the whole village will know of him, because he will be the greatest Hokage the village of Konohagakure has ever seen.
In his first Chuunin exams, he nearly dies. Sasuke nearly dies, and Sakura too. These people, who have come to be his friends – though they wouldn't say it, and they probably don't realise, but surely they must consider him a friend too, no matter how many names they call him or how many times they ignore him – and in some way his family – because he is a beggar in this regard, and he definitely will not be choosy, except that these are his precious people, and even at the precocious age of twelve, still with the innocence of a child despite what he has already seen with Zabuza and Haku; despite this, they are his precious people, and in his miserable life, precious people are family – are the ones he can give himself for, and he would do it gladly. But death is not for them, and he comes through the Chuunin exams no further up the ranks, but so much further on his way to being the greatest Hokage, and with some more friends in the shape of a strange boy he calls Bushy-brows, and a lonely demon-child called Gaara.
So when Sasuke deserts the village in favour of seeking power from Orochimaru, he is devastated. Because he has tried, and failed, to keep one of his precious people from danger, and has come to the realisation that he is not invincible, and nor are his friends and family. Nothing lasts forever, and letting go of the last of his childhood is not easy, no matter how sad and pitiful it was. Because it was a part of his life, and even as young and obnoxious as he is something inside him knows that life must be treasured, because it is short; even shorter for a shinobi, especially one who will be the greatest shinobi the world has ever seen. Despite these bitter realisations, something of the child will always remain inside of him, and it is that child that clings steadfast to the belief that he will one day bring Sasuke home and all will be right in the world – because he promised Sakura he would, and no matter what, he refuses to break a promise, especially to one of his precious people.
And so time passes, as he leaves the village to train with the ero-sannin Jiraiya, even as Sasuke has left to train under Orochimaru while Sakura remains, learning from and holding the fort with Tsunade-baachan. He regrets the time that passes, because with every minute, Sasuke slips further from his reach, further from them, becoming less and less the brother he never had, and more and more the driven rival who would do anything to attain his goal, even if it means denying the blond boy, once his friend, his own. And Sakura grows and learns and blossoms, and the only changes are superficial, so he knows that at least one person is still there, still fixed and dependable.
And through everything that comes after, all the sacrifices, losses and gains, failures and victories, through all the myriad choices he makes, he knows one thing: he will be the greatest Hokage, but it not because he was utterly ruthless in pursuit of that goal. No, he will achieve his goal, but only through sacrificing himself, time and again, for his precious people. Because now his whole village, and many outside of it are precious, and he will do anything and everything he can to keep them safe.
He knows now what it is to be jinchuuriki; has known for some time that the nature of his existence is to be a sacrifice. And after all, at the heart of it all, to be Hokage is to be the ultimate sacrifice, because all of one's being is devoted first to the village they serve and protect and only to their precious people after that. He is jinchuuriki; jinchuuriki are sacrifice, and he is happy, for he has fulfilled his dream, and he is now the greatest of weapons.
He is Uzumaki Naruto; he is Rokudaime Hokage; he is Kyuubi Jinchuuriki; he is a shinobi of the Leaf. He is a weapon, but he is happy, even as a sacrifice, because all along, this is what he wanted to be.
I really don't know about this. It's much different from anything I usually write, but on the other hadn, I think it's much deeper too.
But enough of what I think. Please review, and let me know what you think!