So originally this story had the lyrics from Miranda Lambert's song Mama's broken heart but I was told that was illegal to put in my story. so I thought I would just tell you my inspiration for this chapter was that song. :P thanks!
Ranger had been in the wind for a few months now and I was missing him. Before he left he told me that this was his last mission and that once he returned we could be together. I had eagerly been awaiting his return so when Tank called me and told me to come to Rangeman I ran out the door. He must be coming back soon.
When Tank told me the news, I couldn't believe it. There was no way Ranger was dead. He was invincible. Hell he was Batman! But the pain in his eyes and the depressed silence of the merry men made me realize that it was true. He was gone and I was alone. Tank had received the call a few hours ago. His car had exploded and the body was horribly burned. How many exploding cars had I survived and then to have one take Batman. One of the merry men drove me home but I was in shock and couldn't tell you who it was. I convinced him I was fine and he left. After I just broke down. I must have sobbed for hours before I dragged myself into the bathroom. I stopped in shock, staring at my reflection. My eyes were bloodshot, my nose running and my hair was doing things that would terrify a clown. I thought of all the times Ranger would run his fingers through my hair, tuck it behind my ears, pick garbage out or just laugh at its hectic behavior. That's it, I couldn't keep it. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed the scissors. Stupid hair, I thought as I started cutting. Then I saw my cookie jar. How many times had Ranger lectured me about leaving my gun in there? Ranger. I felt the tears coming and the pain kept building up. Finally it exploded from my lips and I screamed his name. I couldn't stop. He was gone. I don't know how long it was but eventually I heard banging at my door.
"Cupcake! Let me in. Please Cupcake." It was Joe. We had broken up for good a few months ago. We had finally realized that we were better off friends and I admitted I was madly in love with Ranger and realized the same about Terri. We stayed in contact though, watching the game together and eating Pino's. I ignored his shouting but he must have gotten tired of waiting because the door unlocked and he came rushing over to me. How come everybody could break into my apartment? I had top-notch locks but every stalker, friend and ex seemed to be able to walk right in. Morelli pulled me to my feet and helped me to the bed. "Shit Cupcake, you are a mess. What did you do to your beautiful hair?"
I just continued to sob on his shoulder. "He's gone Joe. What am I supposed to do now?" He wrapped his arms around me. "I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am without him."
I woke up a few hours later. Joe was gone and I realized I must have cried myself to sleep. I needed alcohol. I looked through my closet, hoping my grandma's stash was still there. I found a bottle of tequila and just started chugging. It burned but anything was better than thinking about him.
The next morning I woke up at my parents. How the hell had I gotten here? Last thing I remember I was sitting in my room crying into Rangers shirt and drinking. My head was pounding and I decided I really needed coffee. I dragged myself downstairs to find my mom ironing. Oh shit. "Mom?" I said cautiously.
"I've been getting calls, Stephanie. From just about everyone." I flinched. The burg grapevine was notorious and I had always been one of the big topics. "I won't stand for this Stephanie. Why can't you get a nice job at the button factory and find a nice normal husband like everyone else? Valerie's husband doesn't die on the job."
Go and fix your make up, girl, it's just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady
'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain't my mama's broken heart
I stared brokenheartedly at my mom. She had never understood me but I never thought she would be so callous. The love of my life had just died and here she was telling me that I better clean up my act. She had only ever cared about appearances. She wanted me to do my makeup and act like normal. Well it wasn't going to happen. I was in pain, and my mom had no idea how I felt. This wasn't her broken heart.
I got in my car and drove. I didn't know where I was going and honestly, I didn't give a damn. I wanted to be anywhere that didn't remind me of him. I ended up on a dirt road in the middle of the woods. But even here I could hear Ranger's voice. I stomped on the breaks and flung myself out of the car. The car. He probably had trackers in it somewhere. He had laughed at me when I bought it. I grabbed my purse and threw a burning piece of paper into the back seat before I turned and stalked away. I stopped a safe distance away and watched as it exploded. I was going to burn everything I had that reminded me of him. I ignored my phone, knowing that it was the merry men calling to check on me and sat there as the sirens approached. I waited as Joe and Tank ran over to me and started checking to make sure I was OK. Tank changed from worried to furious when he realized I had set it myself. He threw me in Joe's car and I was driven straight to my parents house.
I walked into the store, I really needed to have tasty cakes. "He exploded? I mean actually blew up. That's perfect! Here I was thinking he was invincible" I froze in shock when I heard Joyce's voice. Was she talking about Ranger. How dare that Bitch even think about him? I dove onto her screaming and kicking violently. It took 3 guys to tear me off her and then Lula was there.
She stunned Joyce and then turned to Steph. "hey white girl. Don't listen to this tramp. She's just mad that he wanted you when she was basically throwing her dirty ass at him. Come on white girl. Lets get you home." I followed her obediently and she led me home. My phone was ringing and I answered. My mom. She was ranting about my latest choices and I sat there numbly holding the phone.
Finally I had enough of my mom. I hung up the phone and yanked it out of the wall. I still felt so empty. I knew what my mother wanted me to do. She wanted me to pretend that I was ok, but Ranger deserved better than that. He deserved to have people mourn for him and I didn't think I could hide my pain anyway. It was too strong.
I heard my door locks turning and quickly stumbled to my feet. When the door opened I saw who was there and felt my knees cave. I fell to the floor and started crying. I barely heard the whisper as he strode over to me. "Babe."