I know I should update on The Bourne Cross, The Barton Cross and Snow White and the Huntsman II. I know, I know, and I'm really sorry, but this ship just can't leave my head! It's frustrating really. I hate letting you awesome guys down, but if this one isn't out of my head first, I can never continue with the other stories. I'm doing the best I can, though! Please, be patient with me.
This is the new story people have been asking me about. And yeah, Killian has lines from the song 'Let me love you';). He doesn't sing it though, just says it. I thought it would be fitting seeing as Emma has a hell of a lot of trouble letting people in. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to drop a review!
Love, Lily
Killian walked alongside her to her Beetle, hands buried deep in his pockets. "I don't think you should drive, love, not when you're in this shape."
"I'll be fine." Emma muttered. She felt embarrassed that Killian wouldn't let her do anything without him around.
"Emma," he said, and she felt embarrassed even more. She wasn't a child anymore.
"I'm 28, you bloody pirate!" Again with the bloody! It was infuriating! "I can take care of myself! I always have." she yelled.
In a flash, he had her pressed against her yellow car, his hook holding her wrist to the roof, his hand on her waist. "Let me in, Emma." he whispered in her ear. "You can trust me. I'm not him. I won't run."
Emma stared at him with wide eyes. How did he know it was a him? How did he know at all? "Get off me."
"No." he growled. "Not before you let me in. I've seen it in your eyes. That man, the boy's father, he hurt you. Left you. But I'm not him, I won't leave you."
Emma felt tears sting behind her eyes. He really had no idea how this hurt her. The promise of someone was never worth anything especially when it came from a man. On top of that, he was not just a man, he was Captain Fucking Hook! The last man after Neal not to be trusted! "How can you understand something that you never had?" Killian whispered in her ear and then he laughed at himself. He was so close that his breath tickled in her neck, making her shiver. "Of course you don't trust me. Nobody has ever earned your trust and the one that did broke your heart and stomped on it. How can I expect you to trust me?"
"Let me go, Hook. I'm not worth it." She pushed him off, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks, but he yanked her back.
"Never - ever say that again. You are more than worth it, Emma love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He kissed her cheek and jaw and slowly worked his way to her lips. She was left completely paralyzed by his sudden actions. "Let me love you, Emma. I will love you, until you learn to love yourself."
She was stunned. Was he serious? He couldn't be...and she couldn't do this. "Hook..." She tried to push him off, but he was stronger. "I'm damaged. Nobody wants damaged goods."
He laughed and pulled her closer. She didn't see why this was funny. "I've been alive for 300 sodding years, my lovely. And trust me, I wasn't good most of the time. Actually, the only time I actually felt good was with Milah. Trust me, I'm damaged, too. Don't be afraid, love. Let me help."
It was finally enough to break Emma. His words combined with the knowledge of her past...it broke something inside of her. She stopped struggling and started crying. Killian held her tight and gently kissed the top of her head. She felt her tears drip on his shirt, but she couldn't do anything. All she could do was press herself closer against him and cry. He had the decency to say nothing and just hold her. While she was crying, she felt her head swim again. She tried to fight the blackness that came over her, but soon enough she remembered nothing until she woke up in her own bed, Killian on her bedside, his face buried in his hands. She sat up, blinking against the bright sunlight. She couldn't've been asleep for long.
The moment he heard her bed creak, his head snapped up. "Emma!" He moved to sit on the bed and laced his fingers through hers. "How are you feeling, love?"
"Okay, I guess. What happened?" She didn't pull her hand away. It felt good to have someone hold her hand like that again.
"You passed out again. I carried you back here. You've been out for one entire day."
One day?! Emma grabbed her head and closed her eyes for a second. "How...?"
"I don't know. I'm just bloody glad you're awake. I was genuinely worried."
She looked at him, surprised. "You? You were worried? About me?" How did that happen? Didn't the pirate only worry about himself and that boat of his?
Killian laughed his beautiful laugh. "Have you not heard a thing I've said yesterday? I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I care very deeply for you. I'm done denying it. I haven't felt this strongly about anyone since Milah."
Emma felt strangely happy when he said that. "Killian, you shouldn't...I can't...I can't do it to you. I'm cursed to be alone."
"What?" he said, his eyes big with surprise and something else, something Emma couldn't quite place.
"I said, I'm cursed to be alone..."
He shook his head impatiently. "No, not that, that's a load of nonsense. My name...you said my name."
"I called you Hook?" Emma said, not understanding.
He shook his head impatiently. "No, not Hook! Killian. You called me Killian."
Emma blushed heavily when she realized that she in fact had said his name. In her head it had been Killian for a while now, but she'd always called him Hook. Up until now it seemed. "I - I don't know..."
She was cut off by his lips crashing on hers, his hands running down her arms, pinning her to the bed. In a moment of weakness, she pressed closer to him and kissed him back with full force. Before anything else happened, he pulled back. "Don't ever call me Hook again. Killian sounds so much better from your lips." he whispered. She nodded and he kissed her again. For some reason, she couldn't pull away herself.
"Killian? How did you know? About Henry's father?" she asked, the moment he pulled away for a breath.
He smiled and stroked her hair lovingly. "I can see the pain behind your eyes, Emma. It's been there for quite a while. You can pretend you're not affected by your past, but I can read you like an open book. You are affected. I recognize that look, because I've seen it in the mirror for a very long time." Emma couldn't remember the last time anyone had caressed her face like Killian did now.
"What does this make us?" she whispered, taking his hand and relishing in the feel of his calloused fingers on her skin. She didn't want to jump headfirst without thinking into anything, but she didn't want to let this feeling go either.
"Let's just not put tags on anything yet. I've always hated tags. But...I'm not holding back anymore. I'm done waiting. You're mine now." He pulled her close to him and stroked her hair. She didn't protest. She didn't want to. She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. This was the best moment she'd had in ten years. "Do you need anything, love?" he whispered.
Emma shook her head. "No. I just want you - "
He smirked suggestively. "- I can handle that -"
She rolled her eyes and chuckled. No matter what he felt, Killian would always be Killian. " - to hold me."
He smirked again, but more in a caring way. "I can handle that, too." He settled himself onto the bed and pulled her in his arms. "I won't let you go, Emma. I promise."
His warm, soothing voice was enough to lull her to sleep. She didn't even notice her mother coming into the room. "Your majesty." Killian said quietly.
The Queen's eyes grew wide at the sight before her. Hook had his arms tightly wrapped around a peacefully sleeping Emma. "What is going on here?"
"I'm holding your daughter." he said matter-of-factly.
"Again? Emma assured me that there wasn't anything going on between you two!"
Hook cringed at her loud voice. "Could you keep it down? She is very tired." Snow nodded and sat down on the bed, completely stunned at what she was seeing. "I know this is strange. But something happened between us outside the hospital. We...bonded." He chuckled at the memory. The feeling of her pressed close against him had been quite a rush, until he realized why she would not let him in. Why he hadn't seen it before, was beyond him.
"You love her?" Snow asked bluntly. Killian looked up at her, shocked and surprised. He hadn't dared to ask himself that question, but now she was doing that for him.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Do you love her?" Snow said sternly.
Did he love her? He obviously cared ridiculously much for her, but love? He hadn't even been sure if he truly loved Milah. Or, better put, he wasn't sure he could love. After all, he was a pirate. But the feelings that this beautiful blonde creature evoked in him were so strong. He looked down on her, and she was sleeping so peacefully that his stomach clenched.
"Aye. I think I do."
Snow sighed, and Killian braced himself for her wrath. "Well...you have my blessing."
"Truly?"
Snow nodded and smiled. "You make her happy. I haven't seen her smile the way she does around you for a very long time. You have mine, but I don't think my husband will be very pleased to see his daughter in the arms of an infamous pirate."
Killian smirked. He wouldn't mind a good fight with his Swan's father. He wouldn't mind fighting for her. "We'll see. I will fight for her, Your Majesty. You can count on that."
Killian felt relieved when he saw the Queen smile kindly at him. "I know. But if you hurt her...my husband won't be the one you should be afraid of."
"I would never hurt her. I promise." He stroked the blonde locks of his beautiful Swan out of her face and marveled in her beauty. That was now his. Her heart, her kindness, her beauty. It was all his, and he was all hers. He would give her everything. Everything he could, he would give her. No holding back, no walls.
"I'm going home now. Will you two manage on your own?"
"Aye, I'm sure we'll do fine, Your Highness." Killian said impatiently.
"Good. Oh, and Killian..." Killian looked up. "Call me Snow." With that she left the room and Killian laid his head on hers to rest. It was warm and cozy and Killian closed his eyes for a second.
ooOCaptainSwanOoo
Emma's eyes fluttered open again, and again she was disoriented. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep. Her face felt hot and her throat hurt like a bitch, and not to mention her head felt like it was going to explode. Again. After she'd assessed her own pains, she suddenly felt two strong arms around her, and she remembered how she and Killian had bonded. And kissed. She felt his even and calm breath in her neck and she turned around gingerly, careful not to wake him. What she saw shocked her. His face was so relaxed and young and handsome. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen, and she wondered what he was dreaming about, if anything. She reached out to touch his cheek, and got scared out of her mind when his hook - well, hooked around her wrist.
"What were you going to do, love?" She looked at him in shock, and his eyes were wide open, looking at her with amusement. "Where was that pretty little hand going?" He yanked her towards him and dragged her on top of him, so she was straddling him.
"To your face, actually." she said, wisely ignoring the insinuation. She put her hands on his chest and smiled down at him.
"Ah..." he said, smirking suggestively. "You were going to stroke me awake then?"
She smiled sweetly. "Slap you is more like it."
He grinned and pulled her to him forcefully, but painless. "I don't like your attitude, miss Swan." He winked, telling her he didn't mind at all.
"Cut the sick girl some slack. I'm just not fully aware of what I'm doing." she said, her voice as innocent as possible.
He reached up to her face and stroked softly past her jaw and to her lips. "How are you feeling, love? And don't get mad at me for asking, because I really want to know."
Emma sighed and enjoyed his fingers on her face. "My head hurts."
"Take your medicine, then. Won't want you to become worse again."
Emma smiled and leaned down to rest her head on his chest. "I hate nose sprays. They hurt."
He chuckled and stroked her hair lovingly. "So that pain is worse than the headache, the sore throat and dizziness?" They stayed silent for a long time while she tried to deny his words.
Then she took a deep breath. "Fuck." She sat up and reached over to the spray. She ignored his self-satisfied chuckle while she sprayed her nose, inhaled and shuddered. "Oh, that's just gross!"
Killian smiled and pulled her back to him. "Let's see if I can take your mind of it." And then his lips crashed on hers, and she kissed back fervently, without hesitation. It would be long before she could open up to him. But the kissing and the bantering she could do with the walls. He traced his tongue lightly over her lower lip, demanding entrance, and she didn't hesitate to give it to him. As their tongues battled for dominance, he suddenly chuckled and Emma pulled back. "It really does taste horrible." he said and Emma laughed at that, never having felt this happy before. He pulled her down to him again, and she didn't protest; she was as hungry for his lips as he was for hers. His hook ran down her spine and she moaned against his lips. He smirked. "So I do have that effect on you."
She slapped him playfully and leaned down until their lips were mere inches apart. "And what if you do? Your ego does not need more stroking."
He tried to lift his head to meet her lips, but she pushed him back, grinning wickedly. Her head was hurting less, and her confidence was at a high. "Are you going to try and take control, lass?"
"Try. And succeed." she murmured against his lips.
He chuckled darkly, and she was on her back so fast that her head swam. "Are you okay?" he asked, when she blinked rapidly.
"Yeah. My brain's just a little slow. Give it a second to catch up." It actually felt like her brain was still making the move her body and head had already made. "Jesus, this is weird."
He kissed her neck softly while her brain caught up with her ever so slowly. She hated feeling weak, especially now that she could finally give into the infuriating pirate. She wanted to be able to enjoy his touches and let him love her like he'd practically begged her. But if it wasn't her stupid stubbornness, then of course fate had to come up with something equally annoying. "I'm sorry." she whispered.
He lifted himself up on his forearms and glared at her. "Don't apologize. Not for being ill. There are so many things one should apologize. Being ill is not one of them." He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her ever so gently. "You know, you were quite amusing when you were out. Last night, I mean."
Of course. She knows she talks in her sleep. This was likely to happen. Her blush was evident down to the swell of her breasts, and she caught him staring. "Oh God, no."
He smirked and nodded. "Oh God, yes. You said some very interesting things."
Please, not some weird confession. "I don't want to know."
"Maybe not, but I do." That surprised her. He didn't know exactly what she'd said? How is that possible? Emma ran her hands down his chest thoughtfully as he smiled softly. "You were having a nightmare. I couldn't wake you. You were screaming something in the direction of: "Don't hurt him, I love him! Please!"" he mimicked her voice poorly, which made her laugh. "Who was it?"
Emma remembered her dream quite vividly. Had she really screamed that? It had been horrible. Cora, of course, had been torturing... "Henry. It was Henry, Cora was torturing him." She blushed a little, because she felt the lie. It hadn't been Henry. Not even close.
"I won't let her hurt the boy, love. I promise." Emma put her head on his chest and sighed. He stroked her hair softly, and she felt his lips on her head. "It wasn't Henry, was it?" he asked. She clenched her eyes shut and tried to fight the tears. How could he always know? His hand rested warmly in her neck and his thumb stroked her skin, soothing her. "Tell me, Emma. Who was it?" Emma tried to get the name out, but sobs escaped her throat faster. "It's alright, love. I won't judge. I will never judge."
"It...it w-was..." she took a deep breath and whispered, "it was you."
His movements stilled for a moment. "Emma..." he whispered. "Did you mean it?" He lifted her face with his finger, and looked deeply into her eyes. What he saw shocked him obviously. "You did. Emma..." His lips crashed on hers the next moment, before she could answer anything.
"Killian..." she sighed against his lips.
"You don't have to say it. I'll take the promise in your eyes." Killian whispered, before crashing his lips down on hers again. Did she love him? She knew that she did in her dream. But she couldn't quite figure it out in real life. "You're overthinking it again." he whispered, and she laughed. He was right, she WAS overthinking it. As usual. He laughed with her until her laughing turned into coughing. He helped her up and let her cough, while rubbing her back soothingly. "Stay calm. Don't fight it." he whispered. She tried, but the coughing seemed never ending, and her oxygen was depleting rapidly. "Emma! Try to breathe!" Killian said louder, forcing her to look at him. Emma gasped for breath in between coughs, but the air barely reached her lungs.
"H-help!" she exclaimed, fear sweeping over her.
Suddenly, Killian grabbed her arms forcefully. "You are not choking, Emma! I know that it feels that way, but you are not! Now, I need you to take back the control of your body." Strangely, her body seemed to listen to his commanding voice. The coughing subsided and she could breathe a little easier. "Better?"
She nodded. "Loads. Thank you." She kept panting for a long time after that, her body craving air desperately. Killian pulled her to him and rested her head on his chest. "How did you know?" she asked, swallowing, which was difficult, because her mouth was paper dry. "How did you know that would work?"
Emma felt him shrug under her. "I didn't. I just tried everything I could think of. Your body is just a good listener." She almost heard him smirk at his innuendo.
"Don't even think about it, buddy." she chastised him, and he chuckled.
"Sorry, love. Couldn't resist."
Emma couldn't help herself, the smile forced its way towards the surface. They lay there for a good hour, completely content to be in each other's company without talking. And Emma noticed a slight chance inside her. She felt peaceful again, for the first time since...well, at least ten years. She snuggled closer to him, inhaling his scent. It was salty and wild, and Emma felt her heart quicken. Why did this guy do this to her? How in the world could she have let this happen? Why was he able to see all the things she took so much care to hide from others? She sneezed and cursed under her breath. She wanted this man. Desperately, but she knew he wouldn't allow anything while she was still this sick.
"Bless you." he whispered in her ear his accent making her shiver. It would be a horrible, terrible lie to say that his English accent did nothing for her, because GOD, it did! It melted something inside her, her heart would clench every time he would just say her name in that fucking accent of his.
"Thank you for this." Emma murmured in his chest.
He inhaled deeply, stroking her hair. "Any time, my lovely." he whispered. "If you can, go to sleep. You will need you rest for...when you're better." he said chuckling. Emma knew exactly what he was talking about, and her stomach clenched at the thought. She wanted him, more than she'd ever wanted in her life, except maybe being part of Henry's. Killian tightened his arms around her and nipped softly on her ear, making her shiver. "Your body is betraying you, Beautiful." he whispered hoarsely.
She groaned involuntarily. "I know. I wish you'd just...oh!" she exclaimed as his lips suddenly descended to her neck and found her pulse point fairly quickly. "Don't stop." she nearly begged. He chuckled darkly, his hand stroking her belly softly, while his hook rested on her chest. She felt all sorts of things at that moment, but lust was definitely on the top of her list. He knew that, too, somehow.
"I know what you want, my Emma. And I want it too. But not now. Not like this. I would never take advantage of a woman in poor health like yourself."
Emma leaned into him, pressing herself up against him and making him moan softly. "I need you, Killian." she whispered softly.
He pulled her hands to her sides when they began to travel up to his chest and neck, stopping her from seducing him. "No, Emma. I want you just as much, but not like this. I want you to be able to enjoy it as much as I will." He kissed her temple softly. "I don't think this is you talking. You wouldn't throw yourself at me like this. This is the sickness talking, Emma. Trust me on that." He kissed both her eyelids and a trembling sigh escaped him. "Go to sleep, Emma. We'll talk about this when you are fully better."
Emma groaned disappointed. "Killian, please."
He held her in place, he was too strong for her to fight. "No, lass. I can't. We can't." He laughed humorlessly. She knew why. Normally, roles would be reversed. He would seduce, she would try and use her head. Not the other way around. She felt deep down that something was wrong, this indeed wasn't her. "Just go to sleep." he whispered when he felt her surrender. "I'll still be here when you wake up. I've got nowhere else to go." Emma felt warm and safe in his arms, and it was no problem falling asleep once she'd surrendered.
Killian looked down at his Swan. Oh, how much he wanted to act on her pleads, give in. But his heart told him he shouldn't. He may be a pirate, but he had never been heartless and inconsiderate. Certainly not to a beautiful lass like his Emma. His Emma. It sounded so good. He had wanted to call her his since the moment they met. And now he could, and he did. Too bad she was asleep for most of the time. He couldn't wait until she got better. He really, truly, desperately wanted her. He just stared at her for a long time. He didn't need sleep. He only needed Emma.