Disclaimer: I did not toilet paper Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse because it's too goofy. I did it because I do not own Phil of the Future.
Author's Note: What to do when one is too grown up to go door to door demanding candy and yet there's no Halloween-themed episode of Phil of the Future on the Disney Channel? Pen one, obviously!
TRICK or TREAT
by CraftyNotepad
It's the harvest season, October, the calendar filled up with Pickford produce fairs galore, and, of course, Halloween. That still means pumpkin carving time in Pickford, and whatever you say about Pim Diffy's adapting to life a century before she emerged from her natal pod (say it in a whisper when she's out of town), she carves some of the scariest pumpkin portraits that have ever been whittled from a gourd. Not a scam, hustle or racket, for once, Pim Diffy is actually running a legitimate enterprise. Her mother predicts Pim will be a brain surgeon when she grows up. Mr. Diffy is disturbed by how mirthful his daughter becomes while she operates, and spends considerable time each October trying to dissuade his first born from believing his ears - Phil insists that his sister happily talks to the pumpkins as she scopes out their guts with glee and whilest she does, she calls them all "Phil."
20th Century-born Keely Teslow is a regular visitor at Phil Diffy's house, but today she's come here to see Pim. To spice up her studio set at school for the upcoming holiday broadcast, Keely would like a traditional orange vegetable sporting truly mind-numbing expression for her morning broadcast, and she wants it to be a surprise for Phil.
Phil.
Keely ... is fond of ... Phil, yet it would be a nice change for her to surprise her Mister Know-It-All once in a while, which isn't so easy to accomplish when dealing with someone to whom the latest news is last century's news, and who can giggle up everything about anything. This, for some reason, Keely doesn't think her Phi- ... friend ... will see coming.
Peering into the nearby garage, she can just make out Lloyd and his first born fiddling with some glowy future technology behind Curtis's couch and even catches Lloyd exclaiming something that sounds like "hot popsicles," before deciding it'll be safe to slip into the house through the kitchen door.
Inside the garage, Phil corrects his progenitor, "I think the correct phrase is 'hot fudgesicles', Dad."
"Really? But that makes no sense at all."
Classic Phil's father, Keely mentally notes with a smirk, before walking up the back steps and entering the kitchen. Surprise! Pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns are perched throughout the kitchen, atop the counter, table, and even hiding in the window sills whimsically wearing shortened bathroom shower curtains. They are distributed everywhere, as are the errant pumpkin guts and strong aroma from dozens of newly dispatched holiday gourds. Phil's little sister is busy. This is practically a cottage industry she has going here, and Keely knew Pim had done it all without wielding her wizrd, for she too had heard Pim talking to her pumpkins.
"Poor Phil," Keely said aloud, even as she admired Pim Diffy's handiwork. Who would have guessed that Pim had a creative bone in her body, aside from coming up with new ways in which to annoy her brother? "Who knew she ... she ... SHEEEEE!"
Keely leaps backward in horror, for there among the pumpkin heads is a ... a human head - PIM'S OWN MOTHER! Mercifully, Barbara Diffy's eyes were closed, while her severed head was just sitting next to a half-carved jack-o-lantern. "How could Pim do this? Is this why her carved pumpkins look so life like?"
From the dining room, Keely heard, "Why, yes, Teslow, it is. See one you fancy, or did you come to model for me?"
It was the pint-sized butcher, herself. So in shock over finding Barbara Diffy's disembodied noggin, Keely hadn't noticed the fiend herself calmly coming up behind her with a knife.
"Pim, how many times have I told you not to walk around with sharp objects," snapped the disembodied noggin of Phil's mother, her eyes now open wide. Keely screamed, shocking Barbara, who cluelessly asked her, "What's a matter, Keely?"
Her heart in her throat, Keely stuttered, "Mmuh, muh-muhh, Muhh, murdered muh-muh-mother." Pim smiled her toothiest grin. "Pim, you muh-murdered your mother."