Halcyon

PART I

Chapter 1

Those who were born deaf account for only 10% of all cases of deafness.

I was born deaf.

I envy my sister sometimes when she has her iPod in her ears and is listening to some song that she likes, but I can't hear it. When I see the headphones in her ear, I feel a twist in my stomach because I would give anything to be able to hear. I'm not mad at her, I can't ever get mad at her. It's so stupid, but I'm jealous of her. Of any hearing person and how they take it for granted. I can see the kids in my school talking with each other and I just get a little frustrated because I want to know what it's like. I have to live with it, I can't let it get me down.

They found out pretty early on, when I was about three months, that I wasn't able to hear when I wouldn't react to loud noises. Mom took me to the Doctor to get tested and they determined that I was deaf. Doctors could never figure out the cause, though. They considered it being genetic but my mom and grandmom can't recall anybody in their family who was deaf, nor can my dad. I had a cochlear implant operation when I was 11, but it was unsuccessful. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with the implant and it should have worked. I should have been able to hear after it, but I can't.

I guess not having one of my senses, heightened my other ones. I have this strong sense of knowing when something is going to happen. Sometimes, I'll even get these flashes of an image or a word, but it's so frustrating because it's never clear. It started from when I was about 12 and has gotten stronger every year...

Maybe I should tell you a little about myself since I already gave you my medical history.

My name is Liliana Jordyn Swan, but everyone calls me Lily. I was born on September 15, 1988 to Charlie Swan and Renée Higginbotham. I have an older sister, Bella, who is exactly a year and two days older than me. Bella was born in Forks, Washington where our father currently resides and is the Chief of Police. When Bella was 3 months old, our parents divorced and a month later, mom found out she was pregnant with me. We lived with our grandma in California where I was born. When I was 4, we moved to sunny Phoenix, Arizona. Bella and I would go up to visit our dad in Forks for a month out of the summer until I was 14 and we vacationed in California from then on.

Bella and I look almost exactly alike except for some differences. She has our dad's chocolate-brown eyes while I have our mother's blue-green eyes. Her dark brown hair is long and straight while mine is a bit shorter, wavy, and couple of shades lighter. I have scars behind my ears from my cochlear implant surgery. Our faces are very similar in structure with the same high cheekbones and thin nose. We both have pale complexions, I being just a little more tan than her (like that's really saying anything.) My sister and I are about the same height at 5'4 and have the same, skinny body type. Bella is pretty uncoordinated and clumsy which I don't really share with her. I'm not the most graceful person in the world, but I am next to my sister.

Bella and I have always been close. Ever since we were babies, we've always felt like we've had to stick together. I've always relied on my older sister who relied on me. She's the only person that I ever talk to.

That's one of the main things I'm self-conscious about - my voice. I know that it sounds a lot different and it's pretty vain, but I don't want people to make fun of it. Bella tells me that I stutter and mess up words, so I won't speak to anyone except her because she would never make fun of me. I'm also just uncomfortable with speaking. I won't even let my mom or dad hear my voice.

Our mom, Renée, remarried a minor league baseball player named Phil Dwyer. He's a really nice guy, a little young maybe, but nice. Bella and I just never really connected with him. We've lived together for a couple of months, with him traveling around and our mother remaining unhappy at home. We noticed this and talked until we came up with her sending us to live with our dad, so she can go on the road with Phil. She agreed, after some convincing, and started making the arrangements.

Now, Bella and I are packing up all of our stuff to bring to Forks. I don't remember much about Forks except that it's always cloudy, a major difference from Phoenix. I'm okay with this move, it's going to make my mom happy which is my biggest priority. Bella seems okay with it, too. The main thing we're concerned with is our dad, Charlie. We haven't really lived with him, so we both expect it to be a little uncomfortable and awkward. I zip up my suitcase after packing the last of my clothes and pick it up, walking over to the door.

I finally exit my bedroom, sparing the coral colored walls a last look before picking up the rest of my suitcases and walking outside where Bella is talking to mom. I walk over to Phil, who's loading our luggage in the trunk of his car.

"Got everything, kid?" I read from his lips and nod. Since I've been deaf all my life, I've had good practice at reading lips. Phil takes the suitcases from me and walk over to Bella and my mom, who crushes me in a hug before pulling back to look at us.

"Now, you know if you girls change your mind, I'll race back here from wherever the game is." she says while I smile and glance at Bella who does the same.

"We won't change our minds, mom." Bella says.

"You might. You both have always hated Forks."

Mom, we'll be fine. Please stop worrying I sign. Mom pulls us into bone crushing hugs again and I smile. I'm going to miss our erratic mother. Bella and I know that it would be a big sacrifice for her if we changed our minds. Our mother deserves happiness and we know that she's happy with Phil. We can both suck it up for her. I look over to my sister as our mother walks to the car and frown when I see her face full of regret and doubt, which makes me start to worry.

I give my big sister a smile and pull her in for a hug "A-At least w-we got each other." I try to comfort her and she pulls back, smiling at me before we both walk to the back of the car and climb in. Phil and mom climb in the car and we start driving to the airport. Bella puts her headphones in and I look out the window, getting the last look of Phoenix. The sun, the palm trees, expensive cars, and malls. I don't think that I'll really miss Phoenix that much. I've never felt a connection or something that would anchor me here. Maybe I can find that anchor in Forks. I pull my book out of my carry on bag and open it, passing time with Daisy Buchanan's shallowness and Jay Gatsby pining over her.

We stop and I look out the window, seeing that we've finally arrived at the airport. I shove my book in my bag and sling it over my shoulder, taking in the last couple moments of Phoenix's hot air. Bella and I check our luggage, then Phil and mom walk us to the terminal. Mom crushing both of us in hugs before we turn around to wave goodbye as we board the plane. We take our seats and I look out the window, seeing sunny Phoenix for the last time. I hope that maybe Forks is different. Maybe the people are different.

With that thought, I close my eyes and sleep.

I feel myself being shaken and turn my head to see Bella. "We just landed." she says and I rub my eyes to wake myself up. I take look out the window, seeing the sky covered by a never-ending cloud. Welcome Home, Lily. We exit the plane to see Charlie standing there in his uniform, looking a bit awkward. Bella and I look at each other before we start walking towards him. He catches sight of us and straightens up.

"Hi, girls." Charlie gives us a small smile which I attempt to return but this whole situation just feels so awkward. "Hey, Cha-Dad." Bella catches herself and I turn to look at him, offering him a small wave. I see out of the corner of my eye, Bella and dad exchange some words, but I look around seeing through the windows that it's dark and gloomy outside. Bella taps me on the shoulder and motions that we're going so we start walking over to the baggage claim.

After we get our bags, we walk outside and I frown when I see the police cruiser. Bella and I look at each other and I realize that I'm going to have to get in the back. She gives me a sympathetic look and I shrug before putting my bags in the trunk and getting in the back. Charlie and Bella get in the front and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot. During the ride from Port Angeles to Forks, I spend my time taking in our new surroundings. I only remember a bit as I haven't been in this area since I was thirteen. It doesn't look like it's changed that much from what I can remember.

I see the "The City Of Forks Welcomes You - Pop. 3246" sign and take in the small town. It's surrounded by forest, but it's definitely a nice looking town. Maybe this could be good for us. I look to the front seat and see Bella doing the same thing as me. The only downside is that it's covered in clouds and the sun barely comes out. We pull up to an older two-story house by the woods.

Home.

Dad pulls up to the house and Bella opens the door for me so I can get out. Charlie opens the trunk, grabbing some of our bags as he leads Bella and I into the house. Inhaling, I recognize the wooden, musky smell of the house already when we get inside and I take look around. It's definitely an "man's" house but has a comfortable feel to it with lots of fishing memorabilia. I look around seeing various pictures of Bella and I. We both grimace and look at each other seeing a picture of us in tutu's at ballet. We turn to each other and share a laugh as Charlie comes in with out bags, leading us up the stairs. He takes Bella into her room and then me into mine, which is right next to it and has the same view to the backyard.

The small room is just like I remembered it from our summer visits. It's a smaller version of Bella's and the walls are a teal color that we painted when I was twelve. It has a small, twin bed next to the window, a wooden dresser by one wall, and a tiny desk in the corner. The small closet is on the opposite side of the window. It's simple but nice. I look over as my door opens and Charlie enters, bringing the rest of my bags in.

"Is the room okay?" he asks and I nod before signing thank you. We stand there for a bit, awkwardly until something outside catches Charlie's attention. He gives me a small smile before exiting the room. I sigh and walk over to my bags, taking out my laptop and putting it on my desk. I start to unpack my clothes until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look over and see my sister standing there.

"There's someone here." she says and I frown before following her down the stairs and outside, seeing a man in a wheelchair talking to Charlie. A younger version of him, probably around my age is standing next to him. They both have long, inky black hair with beautiful russet colored skin. The younger man has a bit of childish roundness to his jaw giving him a bit of a baby face. All around, he's a good looking guy. Bella and I walk over to them which captures the man in the wheelchair's attention as he smiles at us approaching.

"Bella, Lily, you remember Billy Black. " Charlie says. When I hear his name, I remember him from the Quileute reservation because we always went down there during the summers with Charlie.

"Glad you girls are finally here. Charlie hasn't shut up about it since you both told him you were coming." he says and I smile while looking over at our dad who looks a bit embarrassed.

"Keep exaggerating, I'll wheel you down the hill. " Charlie teases.

"Right after I ram you in the ankles." Billy says before rolling after Charlie, both play fighting. We all watch them with raised eyebrows before the younger guy turns to us.

"I'm Jacob. We made mud pies together when we were little kids." he says. Bella and I look at each other, me offering him a small wave.

"Yeah...I think I remember." she nods but then turns to Charlie and Billy "Are they always like this?" Bella asks him, nodding towards them.

"It's getting worse with age." Jacob admits as they both come back over towards us, Charlie patting the truck.

"So what do you think of your homecoming gift?" he asks and I raise my eyebrows as Bella's jaw drops.

"No way. The truck is for me?" she asks and Charlie nods.

"Just bought it off of Billy." he says and I smile at Bella who does back. I can see she's genuinely excited for this and I'm happy for her. She rushes to the truck and I hop in the passenger side as Jacob walks up to the driver side window.

"Okay, so you have to double pump the clutch when you shift, but..." he trails off.

"Maybe I can give you a ride to school." Bella offers and Jacob's face falls a bit.

"I go to school on the reservation." he says.

"Too bad. It would have been nice for us to know someone." she says. Well, I guess I'm lucky that I have my sister with me. That's another thing I was stressing - school tomorrow. I'm worried about the kids there, if they're going to be nice or not to "Chief Swan's daughters." Billy and Jacob leave, so Bella and I go upstairs to unpack the rest of our stuff. I hang up my clothes in my closet and then put the rest in the dresser. I gather up all of my notebooks for school tomorrow and put them in my purple book bag. Pulling my toiletries out of my bag, I walk into the small bathroom and put them on the shelves while leaving room for Bella. I walk back into my bedroom and lay down on the bed, tired from everything today.

I see movement out of the corner of my eye and see Bella in the doorway. She smiles at me and comes to sit down on my bed next to me.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" she asks and I shrug.

"I d-don't know, I guess I'm j-just worried about the s-stares for the new girls." I tell her and she nods, understanding but then grimaces.

"It's my personal hell. What do you think of everything?" she asks, looking around and I shrug.

"I l-like it h-here. I think it w-will get better." I tell her and she smiles.

"Always the optimist." she says and I smile at her.

"One of us h-has to be." I say and she playfully pushes my shoulder as we laugh. Bella turns towards the doorway and I sit up looking at her confused. She turns towards me "Dad's back." We both get up and walk downstairs, seeing Charlie in the kitchen with a box of pizza in his hands.

"You girls hungry?" he asks and I nod. He grabs plates out of the cabinet and hands them to us. I grab a slice of pizza and sit down at the small table as Bella does the same and sits down next to me. Charlie grabs a beer out of the fridge and sits across from us.

I guess these are the moments where I'm glad that I'm deaf. Bella and Charlie seem to suffer in awkward silence as we eat while I don't have to. I just sit and eat, looking around the room. Dad and Bella attempt conversation a couple of times about random things like how mom is, how Arizona is, how Phil is, etc. It kind of trails off to nothing and then they sit in silence again. I finish my dinner and get up with Bella, walking over to the sink to wash our dishes.

After, we say goodnight to dad and walk upstairs to change. I pull on a pair of red pajama pants and a grey t-shirt before throwing my hair up in a bun. I walk over to Bella's room seeing her getting her book bag together for tomorrow.

"Hey, Lil." she greets.

"Hey." I say before sitting on her bed. We both stay up for the next hour talking about tomorrow.

"What d-do you think the c-classes will be like?" I ask, a little worried about meeting my interpreter.

"Probably the same." she sees my worried expression. "Lil, you were top in your grade, you'll be fine." she says and I smile at her. Bella always comforts me whenever I'm worried or scared.

"I'm going to go t-to bed. Night, Bells." I say, giving Bella a hug.

"Night, Lil." she says and I walk into my room. I flip the switch on my wall, turning off the light before climbing into bed and covering myself with my blue comforter. My nerves are a little on edge and I close my eyes, trying to relax the butterflies. I just hope everything goes okay tomorrow.

When I open my eyes, I see that I'm in the woods and it's pitch black outside. It's chilly out but I'm wearing a white cotton dress and no shoes. I whip my head around, trying to look for my sister when I see a flash of something near the trees. "H-Hello?" I call out. "B-Bella?" I start walking through the woods, trying to find my way back to the house. I walk for a while but the forest is never-ending so I start to run. I sprint straight, hoping to get out of the woods but it's no use. I feel the tears streaming down my face but I keep on running until I trip, landing flat on the ground. I'm panting from running, my heart slamming in my chest. I just want my sister. I bring myself into a sitting posting, curling my knees to my chest as I sob. I suddenly feel calm. I'm not sad or scared anymore. A light pressure is on my shoulder and I turn my head to see a hand. It gently squeezes my shoulder and I turn around to see who it is but I can't see their face. A wave of calm rushes over me, forcing me to close my eyes.

I snap my eyes open with a gasp and blink in confusion. I'm back in my room. I've always had weird dreams like that. Usually, they're nightmares and I wake up to Bella shaking me, tears rolling down my cheeks. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts and look over, seeing it's still dark outside. I glance at the clock on my desk. Four in the morning. I groan and roll over, knowing that I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep. I lay in bed for a half an hour, thinking about the dream. That was a new one. I remember last year, I dreamt that I was on a plane and it crashed. I actually saw everyone die on that plane, including myself. Bella woke me up and held me while I broke down. The scary thing is, the news reported a plane crashed during takeoff at the Phoenix airport. No one on board survived. It scared me, but she just dismissed it as a coincidence. It never got out of my head and somehow, I felt responsible. Like I could have helped somehow. I know that it's ridiculous which is why I've never told anyone, but my sister. Personally, I think I'm just going crazy.

I pull myself out of bed and walk over to my desk to sign into my email. I see an email from my mother already and smile as it helps me calm down.

Lily,

How is everything, sweetheart? I miss you and Bella already! I hope that everything is good there. How is Charlie? Make sure to tell me how school is. Remember that it isn't too late to change your mind. I love you.

I smile and shake my head before typing a reply.

Hey mommy,

Everything is good. I really like it here and I think Bella does, too. Dad got her a car which she was really excited about. He is adjusting but he seems fine. I'm not too worried about school, I think that everything will be ok. No, we are not changing our minds. I promise I'll email you again when I get home from school. I love you.

Looking over at the clock, I see that I should probably start getting ready so I head into the bathroom and start the shower. When I'm done, I grab the towel and wrap it around myself before collecting my pajamas and walking back to the bedroom. Closing the door, quietly so I don't wake Bella, I walk over to my closet to pick out my outfit for today. A white v-neck, a pair of jeans, and a turquoise and white striped cardigan is okay for today. I lay them on my bed, pulling on a pair of underwear and a bra before pulling on my clothes.

I blow dry my hair, leaving it with its natural wave and braid my bangs to the side. I pull my hair over my ears to hide my scars and look in the mirror. I guess my style is a bit different to Bella's. She normally sticks to t-shirts and jeans but it doesn't matter, she's gorgeous no matter what she wears. I put on some mascara and walk into Bella's room, gently shaking her to wake her up. She stirs and turns to look at me and I smile.

"Time to g-get up." I tell her and she nods. I leave the room to let her get dressed and pass Charlie as he walks out of the bathroom.

"Morning." he says in a groggy voice and I give him a small smile before walking into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I get back in my room, I grab my book bag and check that I have everything I need for today. Notebooks, pens, pencils, calculator, etc. I grab The Great Gatsby and throw it in my book bag. When I'm satisfied that I have everything for school, I grab a pair of socks and pull them on before lacing up my brown boots that reach my mid calf.

"Ready?" she asks and I nod and grab my jacket, pulling it around myself. Slinging my bag over my shoulder as we walk downstairs, I walk into the kitchen and grab an apple before I walk out to the truck with Bella. I can feel my nerves rattling a bit and look over at Bella, seeing a nervous expression on her face. I have keep reminding myself you have your big sister, you're going to be okay.

The ride to Forks High School doesn't take that long and Bella pulls into an available parking spot, I feel a pop in the car and see Bella flinch. A couple of nearby students turn towards our car, chuckling. So much for a low profile. Bella and I get out of the car and try to ignore all the stares from the students. I can't help but feel like fresh meat. I see out of the corner of my eye, a friendly looking Asian kid walk up to us.

"You must be Isabella and Liliana Swan, the new girls. Hi, I'm Eric. The eyes and ears of this place. Anything you need. Tour guide, lunch date, shoulder to cry on." He talks very fast and I actually have trouble reading his lips a bit and I turn to look at Bella who looks at me like is he for real? I give her a shrug before she turns to look at him.

"We're kind of the "suffer in silence" type." she tells him.

"Good headline for your feature. I'm on the paper, and you're news, girls, front page." he says and I widen my eyes. Oh, no.

"I...no, we're not news, seriously, not at all..." she stutters out and I shake my head at Eric.

"Whoa, chillax. No feature." he assures us and I sigh.

"Could you point us toward the office?" she says and he nods.

"Oh, I'll escort you both." he says with a smile and starts leading us towards the office. Passing through all the students in the hallway, Eric looks like he's loving all the attention. We get to the office and opens the door for both of us.

"Can I help you, girls?" the woman at the desk asks.

"Yes, I'm Isabella Swan and this is my siste-"

"Oh, you're Chief Swan's daughters." she says and I nod. She stands up and walks to the back only to return a couple of moments later, handing us our schedules. I look down at the schedule and feel satisfied. I have AP Calculus which I expected to because I had it back in Arizona. I also have Physical Science, PE II, US History II Honors, and Spanish. Bella thanks the woman at the desk and we leave the office, comparing schedules.

"She said that you interpreter will meet you in your first period and to have all of our teachers sign this and to bring it back at the end of the day." she says and I nod. We both compare schedules "We have lunch together, at least." she says and I shrug. I don't think I expected to have any classes with Bella, but I'm glad we have lunch together. Eric comes walking back over to us and looks at our schedules.

"Oh, I have biology, too. I can take you there." he offers and then looks at my schedule "You have AP Calc? And you're a sophomore?" he asks, looking surprised and I nod. The warning bell rings, or at least I think it does as everyone starts rushing towards their class.

"I'll see you at lunch, Lil." she says and I nod before looking at the map and walking towards the Language hallway. When I get in the class, I'm met with curious stares by all the students while I walk over to the teacher. I meet my interpreter, Mrs. Connors who has a warm smile which makes me feel better. She doesn't hover which I'm grateful for but she does help me out if I need it.

The first couple of periods go by quickly and the classes are about the same as my old school. I pass Bella a couple of times in the hall and see that some kids have taken interest in her, one of them being Eric. Some of the kids watch me, studying the new girl and I feel a bit uncomfortable but shake it off. I finally get to the class that I'm looking forward to - Calculus. Math has always come easy to me which is why I took courses over the summer so I'd be able to skip classes and get ahead. Next year, I'll be able to take college level math.

I walk into the classroom and see that it's full of upperclassmen which intimidates me immediately, but then I see Mrs. Connors who offers me a kind smile, relaxing me a bit. I walk over to the teacher, Mrs. Ryan, handing her the slip and she signs it before doing a double take as she reads it.

"You're a sophomore?" she asks and I nod. "You know this is AP Calculus?" again I nod. She raises her eyebrows and looks back at the paper, recognition in her eyes as she reads my name. "Liliana Swan. Oh, you're the Chief's daughter." she says and I can feel the stares of the students in the room on me. I blush a bit before nodding as she looks around the room. "Uhm...you can take a seat next to Mr. Hale." she says to me and then looks towards the seat by the window, a couple of rows from her desk. "Mr. Hale, please raise your hand." I look around and see a pale hand lazily raise and follow it until I see the owner of the hand and almost fall over.

Update 5/22: To, MadsinGer205, I'm sorry, I should have made it more clear that she was reading lips. I fixed it.