Juleka brushed the flowers from her hair and gazed in the mirror; was this really okay? Was it time for them to get married?
Nothing prepared her for this day, not seven long years of figuring Nathanael out, not every argument and tear of frustration, not every sappy drawing and love letter or poem that they gave each other. It felt way too sudden, way too fast, even though she was there when her fiancee proposed to her, but even then it felt like they had ages stretched out before them, not just another year of being engaged, marking eight years together over all. Marrying Nathanael felt sudden, but she really did love him, wanted to wake up and see his face. She wanted to one day see their kids run around and play through the yard, experiment with crayons, and may be one day take after their father in art.
She just felt young, stretched out before her were many years, many choices, but Nathanael still made her feel like a teenager in his own way, happy and in love, content to date, but yet not settling on permanent plans though she and Nathanael had discussed all of this in great detail, and she was ready. It just felt like she wasn't.
The man that she loved was waiting at the altar, just for her, and she was expected to walk down there and meet him, vow to love him forever which probably wouldn't be that hard since she felt like she already had loved him forever. Was she on the right track? Was he happy with her wedding ideas that became reality and looked more like a gothic dream than any ordinary wedding.
Juleka didn't feel trapped, she wasn't expecting Nathanael to bolt, but she just didn't feel prepared for all of this, didn't feel prepared to walk out and meet him, see his green eyes glitter with unshed tears that she just knew were there or would be, see them sparkle in love for her.
She didn't feel ready in a way to be old enough to get married though Rose had already walked down the aisle and married Juleka's very own older brother, though Adrien and Marinette had gotten married a while ago, and though Max and Sabrina were engaged. Chloe's now a successful lawyer, and everyone's grown up so much from their younger years. Juleka barely felt like she changed and yet she could talk for days about how different she feels, and yet a part of her still doesn't feel quite adult for the new house that she and Nathanael had actually been gifted by Chloe long since she'd first mellowed out a bit. It was her wedding gift to them which had blown Juleka and Nathanael away. A house for a wedding gift? Unreal.
It still didn't feel real. She didn't feel near old enough to be standing here in a wedding gown with plans to walk right down that aisle and marry a man that started stealing bits and pieces of her heart back when they were both teenagers before he managed to steal all of it somehow in the mean time.
They shared their different types of art, and Nathanael had even designed the cover for her now published novel and had supported her through the years that she'd worked on getting it done, getting it miraculously edited when that felt like another life in itself, been with her through the tears of every rejection letter from a publishing house until they found the next one with lots of prayers, nervousness, hope, and the heartache of may be sitting back down and reediting it if she still wasn't published. He'd been there through receiving her personal copies of her novel, one of which was hanging on the wall of her apartment building in a frame where 'all the good stuff go' and would be hanging proudly in their living room when they came home to their new house.
It felt so unreal to be getting married right now, just like it felt unreal to finally get that acceptance letter, to finally get published. She wasn't sure quite how she'd manage to walk down the aisle with her older brother's support and Rose's support, just like she wasn't sure how she'd even managed to get published, but she trusted Nathanael with her whole life.
He'd been there so long that he might as well take up permanent residence in her heart and in her life, but she still felt the onslaught of nerves even as Rose shown up to retrieve her and fix the flowers in her hair, and even as she made those first steps towards Nathanael who still managed to have the power to take her breath away after all these years.