Why do people want to be like other people? Don't understand? Well, think about it. Don't you ever wish once in a while to be somebody you can't be? Popular? Attention? Famous? Cool? Awesome at anything, sports, academics, etc.?
Sometimes, I can hear them say painful things when they think I can't hear them.
I was at the library since it was lunch time. I was sitting in a chair, writing poetry.
When HE was there. This guy, I won't say this bastard's name for now, is the cause of my shit rages most days. HE was sitting near another table with a friend of his. Wearing the standard uniform properly. 'Wannabe Popular' is the reason for this guy.
What? Just because I'm wearing glasses, doesn't mean I'm a freaking smartass people! There is a difference between a nerd and a geek! I am a proud Otaku geek mind you.
"Look, there's weirdo writing shit." I can hear you, dumbass. I'm writing poetry, bet you can't even know the meaning of 'shit' like you really are.
"Shh! You don't want her to hear that!" Too late, dumbass 2. Shesh, people can't even read properly with their books around them 'cause of their nonsense blabbering.
"So what? I bet she'd be happy to know that creepiness of her. Ugh, do you see the way she looks at people with her freaky glasses?" At least I ain't trying to be fucking cute, piece of shit. I know how to be me while I act like it's nothing. These glasses have a certain style, the sides were red while the the bottom of the lens were frameless. This wasn't too big or too small, just the right size for my eyes, nose, and face. These glasses have graded lens, unlike those girls who try to be… ugh! Sorry girls, but you won't understand unless you have real glasses with the shit we people have been through.
"I know right? Looking at her makes me feel gross! Makes me shiver through my spine." And here I thought you were nice, dumbass 2. Well, I never believed he was nice. His eyes were that obvious with his glaring and all.
Good thing the librarians, 2 mid' 20 attractive kind women, were fixing books at the bookshelf near my table that was messed up by students. The boys, fucking noobs, were acting like 'gentlemen' to them.
"Good bye Ms. Ayu and Ms. Verra! Have a great day today." I said, giving them a simple smile I give to every staff of the school. I was taught by my parents to give respect to every employee, even the janitor, since all of us are human beings and we should get along.
I glanced at the 'amateur actors'. They seem busy with books, they obviously don't like Harry Potter series judging by their faces. Oh, how fans are so gonna kill the idiots when they found about about this.
Everybody's answers are different, and that includes me. But all of us have the same feeling. I want that ATTENTION. I want to be KNOWN. I WANT TO BE WANTED.
Sometimes, I think I am too nice and thoughtful.
I was at a food court of a mall, my friend and I were talking about life problems, after eating our meal.
She was wiping off her tears. "Thanks for helping me." she said after she sniffled.
"No problem! I know it feels painful a bit. I may haven't had that experience but I can tell when it hurts a person." I told her. I always try to understand everyone's situations. Sometimes it's hard, but I know not only that we human beings are unique in appearances, we also take different paths of our journey we call reality.
"You're so nice. I wish I was like you. You always help me with my selfish needs." she says... I don't want her to think like that. I want her to live her life different from mine.
I am nice to people because I know they needed it. They need someone, someone they can trust. I can be trusted, but I can't be trust others.
"Nah! You should be glad you are YOU. If you need shoulder to lean on, tell me. I'm always a person who'd help a friend in need." I told her with a genuine smile.
Everybody always takes different paths. Sometimes we go back to the beginning, move forward, or stay on the same road. I kept moving forward, sometimes looking back. Memories are hard to live with for me. My life is really simple, I just make it harder for me.
But I laugh it all, with a fake smile and a little acting done amateurly. It's funny, either I never got caught or I was ignored or avoided. No human being would ever understand-would ever know how it feels, not even my own family. They say they understand, but they don't know how it feels.
Sometimes, I enjoy talking to myself, even if it is weird... with animals also. Humans are different though…
I do talk with my stuff animal kitten on nights while animals at the park after school. I know it seems creepy to most people, but it feels reassuring.
School was done so I went to the park. It was just a 5 minute walk since the park was near and a easier way to go home too. I was walking to a bench, the one that gave a nice view of the lake, and sat down. Looking at the beauty of the sunset reflected by the lake made me inspired to draw it later at home. I ain't a artist, I just like drawing. I suddenly heard a bark of a dog and a soft familiar fur of a feline near my hand.
"Hm?" I looked down to see a male snowy white colored Kishu Ken dog in front of my feet, sitting while looking at me with innocent eyes. To my right side was a female Japanese Bobtail kitten, about a 4 months old. Both animals were friends.
The kitten's mother had a car accident and this dog rescued this kitty. I saw what had happened, so I had taken care of the kitten while reassuring the dog she was alright. I wanted to be vet after all so I knew what I was doing.
"Yo! *Giggles* You guys look happy!" I said with a smile. The kitten touched my right hand with her small left paw, touching my index finger. Her eyes were so... gorgeous. She has unique eyes colors, heterochromatic eyes. The left was a sapphire blue, while the other was emerald green. Both pupils were colored black, but when the sun reflects them just right a certain corner, they looked like brown.
I patted the dog's head gently with my left hand, scratching just behind his ears: his favourite part. He felt so relaxed, he placed his head above my lap. He has a small scar above his forehead, if looked closely, it looked like a small wavy line. He looks so contented…
Both of them had their eyes closed, so relaxed as I patted their heads. I closed my eyes too, silently thinking. I spoke...
"Sometimes, I want you guys to talk to me, communicate with me like us humans…" Both slowly opened their eyes, I knew it even if my eyes were closed. I can feel their gazes, being quiet so they can hear next words.
"I always trouble you guys with my thoughts and stuff… I want to hear yours this time, telling what bothers you so I can help you." I felt a pang to my chest, yet I still closed my eyes, even if I felt tears.
How lonely, tiring, boring, and so on and on! People think I'm bipolar, my personality that is. It hurts so much that I say negative things to myself in front of the mirror, when I try to be positive.
Sometimes, I feel like a nobody, a sore loser, just a tool for someone rather being their friend.
"Baby, I'm gonna go buy some groceries! I'll be back." my father told me.
"Yes Papa! Be safe!" He closed the door, after a few moments I heard another door closing, this time slammed. I waited for around 7 minutes. I was in my room, reading a manga using my phone while I was on my stomach in bed. I was wearing a simple shirt and knee shorts. I saw the time on my phone, it was 1:34 P.M.
Nobody's home now, except me of course, since Papa went out and my older siblings are still at university around these hours. Today was a holiday for my school only because of a certain event special to my school.
I got up from my bed, bringing my stuffed kitten toy with me and went near to the mirror in my room. I sat in front of it, looking at my emotionless face. I see my reddish brown medium length hair was messy since I didn't pinned my bangs or tied my hair. I looked at my bloody red eyes...
"Hey, long time no... talk! I know we know that this is dumb but it's pretty comforting, right?" Looking at myself as I speak, I looked at how I look at my reflection imitating me.
"I want to be honest with myself… So I'm gonna start it again today…" I held my toy as I looked at my reflection, seeing my false determined face.
"I know I look and feel ugly. I'm not pretty, cute, beautiful or gorgeous." My face slowly melted to expressionless once again.
"I ain't smart or a honor student. I crave for attention. I like someone who bullies me most of the time." I felt a pang through my chest, yet I only clutched it with my left hand.
"I want people to accept me for being me. I try so hard to please everyone, even if I know I'm being used or backstabbed for my personality." That word... it felt amazing to say that last word. I continued. I was starting to feel my tears I expected to come.
"I'm so gullible. I try to believe there words but I know there just full of fucking lies! I'm a person who wants to fit in with others. I want them to see me, not my flaws…" I broke down. I finally cried, my tears wetting my toy.
I smiled at my reflection, for the first time since I began talking, a genuine smile...
"But I'm glad… I know, I just know, that if anybody lived my life…
If you ever try being me, I bet you can't think, get confused, or may be it's too much that you wanna cry. My life is simple, really, I just make it harder for me. Luckily, you aren't me nor am I you..."
I suddenly laughed, all my despairing feelings we're a little gone. I looked at myself one more time. I smiled a comfortingly to my face.
"Haha! I sound so crazy, right? Well, this is our life Minako Arisato!"
Yo! :3 This is my first time writing a story so forgive me if I made some mistakes.
This girl is Minako Arisato, the female protagonist of P3P. In this story, She is... a secret for now is that part, forgive me. I want to put her character in "side character" feeling. You will see that I guess. This story line will take in P4. So this is like Alternate Universe in a sense. I made the story reveal about her name in end the 'cause... I want suspense? A little only though! :3 Even if it was sorta obvious... -_-
Well, I hoped you had fun reading this! Don't worry, she'll meet the P4 gang soon! :3 :)