Annabon Loteire was completely perfect.
No one would dare say otherwise, or else they'd be mysteriously killed.
Of course, her name wasn't just Annabon Loteire, it was Annabon Emerald Joanne Scarlett Nyoka Raven Celestia Siryna Loteire, of course.
She had white blonde hair that cascaded down her hair like a shiny waterfall, and was softer than a kitten's fur. Her eyes changed color constantly, from a piercing gold to a shimmery violet, and at some times as blue as the sky. They were larger than life, and males were often known to run into oncoming traffic every time they caught a glimpse of them. Her skin had no blemishes, despite the fact that she's still probably going through puberty, and was paler than Snow White's.
Her figure was gracefully lithe and willowy, but she was still incredibly strong, and radiated a magical glow.
She had the best fighting skills of everyone on Earth, and was a master at fighting with her scythe. She was also fluent in French, Spanish, Italian, and Elvish, of course! Despite her crippling perfection, she had a horrible life. Her parents were killed in a car crash, and she lived with her uncle's son's teacher's pool boy's former roommate, who was an alcoholic and beat her constantly. So, of course, she was perfectly suited to fall into Middle Earth,join the nine walkers, and end up with Legolas. That was the fate of all Sues who come from our world. But this time was different. Someone, someone sane, was going to stop her from wreaking havoc on all of Middle Earth.
Annabon sighed as she went to sleep that night, eyes a deep dark blue to show her immense sadness. She had homework, and it was so hard! She climbed into her silken sheets, and fell into sweet dreams of Legolas's and her wedding.
When she woke up, however, she was in the middle of a forest.
"Liek, where am I?" She gasped, and looked down, seeing herself in a neon pink medieval dress, that could blind any animal passing by. Her super smart brain worked overtime. "OMG!1! I'm in MIddle Earth!", she finally figured out, eyes glowing silver with excitement. In all of her "thinking", she hadn't noticed the groaning young woman about 20 yards from her. She was wearing blue flannel pajamas, and bunny slippers, with her brown hair in a messy bun. And, like, OMG, she had no makeup on! She was soo not perfect.
The woman looked up from where she was sitting on the ground, sore and confused. When she heard Annabon's shrill voice, which Annabon would have said was melodic and beautiful, she paled. Oh shit. A Mary Sue. Okay, a Mary Sue in Middle Earth. That was worrying. But, where did she come from? Was she an elf sue? The girl decided to find out. Clearing her throat, she said in her most confident voice, "Auta miqula orqu(Go kiss an orc)." The woman was a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, and had taken her obsession so far that she had started learning basic Elvish phrases (mostly insults).
Annabon stared at her, with a blank expression
on her face. Okay, maybe her elvish wasn't that good.
"Great, so you can't speak Elvish,", the woman sighed with relief, looking down at her feet and not noticing Annabon prancing over to her.
"Hai! I'm Annabon! Liek, who r u?", Annabon asked. The girl looked up at her and let out a shriek at the terrifying girl in front of her, trying not to focus on her grotesquely large bosom, which seemed to be falling out of her dress.
"Um," the girl stammered, "My name is…" she fumbled trying to figure out whether to give out her actual name or not. "My name is Lily." Okay then, she thought, real name. Great. It's not like she could use this against me. You wake up in the middle of the woods, with a crazy eyed chick staring at you like you're an animal, and you give her your name. How smart of you, Lily.
"Lily? That's liek, soo plain!" Lemme give you a better one! How about...Crabatithenniel!"
Lily gave her a death glare, and growled, "If you call me that I swear I will snap your neck and use your corpse as a dartboard."
Annabon shut up quite quickly.
Lily smirked and got up, and started an attempt at walking. This proved to be immensely difficult, as her only shoes were her bunny slippers. As soon as she started walking, however, Annabon jumped up and ran to her side. Lily groaned.
As Lily and Annabon walked (or "floated", in Annabon's case), Lily heard singing. It was beautiful, but sad, and sounded like a siren's melody. She gave a little smile, because she was sure they were elves. Annabon sniffed.
"I sing better than that." Lily stared at her. Was this sue serious? Judging by what she had heard of her voice, she could not compare. Sighing, Lily started walking into the direction of the voices, stopping every so often to rub her aching feet. She vowed that she would always wear good shoes to bed, just in case she ever landed in this situation again. Her daydreaming was soon interrupted by Annabon attempting to talk to a squirrel.
Just a couple more miles, she thought, then I'll be rid of this nuisance. She wondered what the elves would do with Annabon once they came, and found that thinking up various methods of her death helped keep her mind off of Annabon's attempt at calling birds. About half an hour later, they were at the edge of Rivendell. Lily couldn't contain her grin, and ran full speed ahead, barreling through everything to get there, and leaving Annabon to run after her, screaming about her shoes all the way.