New story! :D
A collab with my friend and I, about our fav female protagonist, Lizzy.

Enjoy!

'I'm in the mood for a story...

'A good story too. Not something you could… purchase at a vendor. Maybe a romance? With danger, yes, definitely with danger. Adventure too! I like sci-fi but last time I told a sci-fi story I was nearly exiled. So, let's not go there. Maybe something erotic… No! No, there's enough of that garbage around now.'

'Well, I guess I can come up with a story...

'Ahem.

'Our story is set in a wonderful land called South Park. A place of magic, potions and where little Elf people and humans scurried about. This land was governed by one person, a woman no less. She held the Stick of Truth and brought the people happiness.

'She ruled with an iron fist and yet she reunited the people of South Park and North Park together. She even brought the Elves, which were once in a feud with South Park, into society as citizens in her rule.'

At that moment, a woman is leaving the inn, adjusting her bag as she continues her journey further into town. Where is she? South Park coincidently. Who is she?

Well…

The blonde growls at the cold, her teeth chattering. What a great day to be a delivery woman. That wasn't sarcasm in the least! She braves the bitter winds, her pink parka at least keeping her upper body warm… not necessarily her cheeks as they were tinted a rosy red color, her teeth chattering.

Fucking wasteland of snow, who needs it? Actually, who wanted to even rule a place so cold?

'The princess was someone unlikely.'

Lizzy removes her fleece hood, stopping near a small shop, unbuckling her knapsack. The same boring routine. The knights presented her with a 'royal knapsack' with sorted letters and fines for just the people of South Park. Luckily, Lizzy knew the vendor. He was a familiar face and it was easy to track down the lunatic in the rather large town. And knowing the man wasn't necessarily a good thing per se. The owner of the shop caused enough trouble, spouting things about his religion, going door to door and handing out parchments. He might have been batshit crazy.

But, then again, he was an elf.

How he even stayed in business was a mystery.

"Here again?" the elf cheers, his perfect teeth gleaming, "Oh, well… I wonder who could have sent me a letter."

Now, Lizzy was happy someone had shot down the mail service falcon or she would be out of yet another job, but then again, she was doing a bird's job, so she had to deal with Gary Harrison. Ugh, it was probably another fine from the knights.

The woman in pink rolled her eyes at his allure and perfect looking… well, all of him. For a complete madman, he sure was handsome. Reaching inside her bag, fiddling with a few sealed envelopes, she searches for his letter. Finding it, she pulls it from the stack.

'Gary Harrison' is written out sloppily and stamped with the royal seal. Yup, it's a fine for sure. She passes it to the man and in return he fills her palm with gold.

"Thank you ever so much, Lizzy. I hope it's a message from my parents in North Park."

"Don't get your hopes up," she grunts placing the money into her pouch, hissing out a quiet, "Fucking rump ranger."

'The princess was someone the people could trust.'

Her ears perk at the strange voice. Echoed and a bit off, even for the crowded bazaar. It somehow… didn't belong. She surveys her surroundings, ultimately finding nothing, "What?"

Lizzy looks back to Gary as he continues to fidget with the envelope, breaking the wax and pulling out the paper. He skims through it before his face drops. Gary lets out a sigh as he crumbles up the piece of parchment, "When will Cartman learn that I'm doing the people service? I sell potions and I teach people about Mormonism. It's perfectly legal."

That voice… it must have been her imagination. Then again, it might have been the mead at the Giggling Donkey. She brushes it off, thinking it was nothing.

Probably nothing.

"Mormonism is weird and it makes you out to look like a total-"

'The princess was someone the people needed.' The mysterious voice speaks up again… and Gary didn't even notice!

As the Mormon continues to blabber, Lizzy searches for the source of the voice, looking under the stand and into a nearby barrel, thumbing for her dagger in the knapsack. Maybe someone was playing a prank on her?

Maybe?

Gary gives the woman a once over, "Uh, you okay?"

'She was strong, beautiful, courageous… but those were just few of the perks about her.'

Lizzy nearly knocks herself inside the drum. In a quick movement, she clamors for the collar of the man's shirt, slinging him across the counter, lifting him off the ground despite her small stature. "What the hell are you talking about? Are you coming onto me, fuck-ass?"

"W-what? Lizzy, is the cold getting to your head?"

'Yes, the Princess… She was very pretty.' the voice narrated, causing Lizzy to snarl.

She releases him, stepping back and examining the skies. The omnipotent voice seemed to be coming from above! Like, a god or a possessed duck or something. She mutters to herself, still facing the skies, "I stopped for a drink but… I can't be that drunk."

'You probably had a little too much to drink. Now shut up, you're breaking the fourth wall.'

"Fuck you!" she shouts upward, pointing at the bodiless voice.

'You want me to come down there?' it taunts back, 'Just shut up.'

People all around stop at the sight of her, watching the woman rave and shout, much like Gary sometimes did… but at least he was actually talking to people. "Show yourself! I'll kick your ass, fudge packer!"

The voice continues on, ignoring Lizzy and the scene she was making. 'Anyways, the princess was a blonde and she could be obnoxious. She was a little unbearable to be around and she had terrible morning breath but-'

"Oh, you're talking about me, huh?" Lizzy cuts in, smiling gullibly to herself, "Well, nobody is completely perfect. But, yeah, I'm a pretty princess, don't you forget it."

'Not you. I was talking about Kenny. Don't flatter yourself, you over glorified mailman.' The voice reminds her, 'Also, don't you have a job to be doing?'

That's when the blonde realizes she has a job… and looks down. To her horror, she notices the looks she was getting, even from Gary. The crazy guy. Giving her a look like she was the crazy one.

She clears her throat, throwing the hood back on, tightening the strings. Deciding she should leave, out of embarrassment alone, she scoots passed onlookers, avoiding their eyes.

But, in complete Gary fashion, he waves her off with a flash of his pearly whites, "See you later Lizzy! Be careful out there."

Heading out of the bustling bazaar and cobblestone, she reaches the outskirts of town.

Out of curiosity, she riffles through her knapsack, sorting through the letters and packages left over for anything interesting, and she spots one. Scribbled in neat letters was, 'High Wizard Kevin'. She huffs, high wizard… Just a name for, 'biggest nerd'. Shoving it back into her bag, the petite blonde looks onward.

He was in… North Park.

And she never got mail to deliver in any other place but South Park, she was a replacement for the falcon, not for anything that could fly extremely long distances.

The Princess must have slipped it inside for good reason, right?

'Little did Lizzy know, that her journey had just begun.'

Lizzy ignores the voice, exiting the city and following the beaten path, continuing to North Park and to the next delivery, leaving behind the shouting at the sky incident.

And that's when she started hearing more voices.

Oh no, she wasn't going to listen to the asshole in the sky… but it really didn't sound like that. It sounded like horses and men and…

Shit.

Lizzy hears shouting and yelling coming from behind her, accompanied by the sounds of horses dashing towards her. Scoffing, she recognizes the gaudy armor. Kenny's little guards. Those knights.

She wasn't even a few feet from town and they were acting as if she had tried to get away with murder. They were probably going to stop her for suspicious activity or yelling at the sky or… something completely made-up.

They liked doing that, obviously.

"By grand order of the knights," one of the men shout, "Stop right there!"

So, what could she do? Kill them? Run away? She hisses under her breath, turning to the small brigade racing up to her.

...Racing up a little too close.

The Knights halt, almost trampling over her. She flinches giving a shout, "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You nearly killed me! Some knights you are."

As she finishes, one individual hops off his horse, walking right up to Lizzy, unafraid, his armor chiming with him. She tries not to back away since the fucker didn't understand what personal space meant. The unsavory man didn't have any noticeable qualities either. Not too ugly, not too handsome. He looked boring. He wasn't really a person that stood out at all either.

Didn't really strike her with fear.

She wasn't sure what to say, so instead she right away blurts, "Fucking Douchebag," she screeches, jabbing her finger into his shitty armor, "What the fuck do you-"

The next thing she knew was that Douchebag's fist connecting with her cheek.

'Lizzy was to be dragged away to Kenny's castle.'