I have something important to tell you, but I don't know if you can hear me and I do not remember what I wanted to say. I am in an unfamiliar place, but it's quiet, so I like it here. Knowing you, you would like it here too. I'm lying on the ground like I was when I was with you a moment ago, but the pain is gone now and I'm no longer by your side. I'm under some sort of tree, it's an oak I think, and I'm tracing the intertwining branches above me with my eyes, unraveling them in my mind. I can't seem to do anything else, as my body is still adjusting to this new place and I have not yet gained the courage to move. I take it back, Merlin; I don't like it here anymore. The oak tree stands on a gentle peak above a wide valley and I can see down the side of the hill, but a layer of heavy cloud blurs the lines of the stream that I can hear in its depths. I let my mind roll forward over the dew to the base of the hill where my thoughts submerge into the mist. I'm discovering, as time passes, that my consciousness has a degree of freedom in movement that I never had in life. But time doesn't pass here like it did when we were together a moment ago. There is life and colour, but this place is static, as if I were in a painting.

I'm afraid Merlin. I never told you when I was alive, but your idiotic optimism kept me strong. Often, your confidence in me was the only reassurance I needed and now that you're not here with me, I don't know if I can do this. I can't imagine being without you and I don't want to. I always took you for granted, Merlin, and I'm sorry for that. I know what you'll do now; you'll inevitably blame yourself for this. You always felt that it was your duty to protect me and I can't bear to think about you forcing yourself to carry that burden. I guess that you have a reason to think that way. I understand now. Your… magic... and our shared destiny. It's still hard for me to get my head around that. I never even suspected that you, Merlin, my Merlin, would be capable of something I believed was so evil. I am sorry for being so blind. This place is bizarre, I don't know what to do with myself. I have no kingdom and no people to lead, so what is my purpose now? I miss home and I miss that infinite blandness of responsibility that being a King demanded. I feel so selfish complaining about having no purpose in death. You would know exactly what to do if you were here with me. Your words have a surprising wisdom about them and I don't think I have ever needed your guidance more than I need it now. I miss you.

I am sorry, Merlin. I'm trying to recall what I needed to say, but I am failing. I must find my way back to you. I have to return and protect you, as I can't bear to leave you alone. Please, Merlin, tell me you're not alone because I think that would kill me all over again. Just hold on and I'll find a way back to you. Just have faith in me one last time.

I don't know if you are even listening, and I still don't remember what I wanted to say. Maybe I have already said it. Life has a way of untangling problems, Merlin, so just stay where you are and we will see each other again. I'll make sure of it.