Summary: I'm your biggest fan; I'll follow you until you love me. Wendy moves into the same apartment as Edgeworth. Stalking ensues.

Warnings: Oldbag ramblings and gratuitous use of the word 'whippersnapper'

The days of my youth may be far behind me, but I can still fall in love (despite what those horrible young whippersnappers say). I still remember my first love – the captain of the chess club in junior high. Now he was a man to admire: perfect win record from the county to state chess competition, he even went to the nationals, though his performance there left a little to be desired. And I still loved him even when he began dating that awful Mindy Chambers (she knew I' had my sights on him for a while – she went out with him just to spite me, I know it!). Then Mindy began making fun of me because my surname was 'Oldbag' (I can't help the name given to me by my father's father's father's father – he used to make fruit bags out of old leather). And when my first love began to join in on the teasing, I knew I had to raise my standards.

Ahem. Right. I, Wendy Oldbag, at the age of (well I don't know I stopped counting at 20 because age isn't indicative of beauty and since when is a little bit of mystery unattractive?) have fallen in love.

I have to admit I was a little smitten when I first saw him that time in the courtroom in his dapper suit and cravat – most men these days have no sense of style. Back in my day, men knew how to dress. He was so handsome and intelligent too! (He only lost the case because that spiky-haired whippersnapper cheated. If it were up to me, that disrespectful youngen would be locked up along with Dee Vasquez.)

Unfortunately, at the time, I fear my love was unrequited. He thanked me politely for my flowers and gifts I sent him every week, but he didn't ever send me any in return.

But Wendy Oldbag is not one to give up! I just had to be a little more seductive in my methods. Alas, even then I felt the sting of rejection. For many a year after, I thought all hope was lost; I would never be able to sway him into loving me. I saw him time and time again: in court once more, at Gatewater Land and even during the Steel Samurai show. But during none of those times did he return my love. When I was a fair maiden, men would be tripping over themselves just to have an opportunity to speak to me and time may have stolen some of my beauty but I know I'm still a catch compared to most of those young whippersnappers. I know how to act like a lady.

It seemed all hope was lost until a few months ago. Back in April, I was working as the Pink Badger at Gatewater Land (those nasty people at KB Security fired me for being too old. The nerve of them! I know it may be in my name but I'm still young at heart!). It had been a particularly hot day and my body's not what it used to be – the heat of the costume was too much and I fainted, breaking my arm from the fall. Now people may think I'm old and senile, but I'd admired my dear Edgey-poo for so long that I knew I had a case. I sued those whippersnappers at Gatewater Land for negligence and won (Not much of an old bag now, eh?)

Using the money I'd been awarded in damages, I decided to buy a fancy new apartment. Edgey-poo certainly had an eye for quality and if I was going to win him over I would need an acceptable house for us to share once he realised I was 'the one'.

And it was during the first week of living in my new apartment that I saw him: my handsome Edgey-poo living on the very same floor as me! I couldn't believe my luck. Of course, it was obviously a sign that we were meant to be together; if we had the same taste in housing then surely all our other interests would be the same.

I had to be careful though, with how I went about wooing my dear Edgey-poo. Over the years, he'd always been so terribly shy at my advances! So I exercised some self-control and didn't seek him out immediately. Instead, I meticulously began planning out how I would court Miles Edgeworth.