Dry Cry

Part 1

I'm in my lab, sleeping in bed. I start beating myself to one direction, eating a cheese burger. Whilst sitting on the toilet. That escalated quickly. What is triple fisting? Search it up on urban dictionary. WAT. He went to the future in his time traveling toilet. He met dinosaurs. He is bouncing on the trampoline while eating candy pops. After that, he jumped on a dino and climbed up Godzilla, because Disney. Then he dive bombed the Eiffel tower on a parachute. He jumped out and into the plane. Then, he hoped on his time traveling dung machine, then he could traveling to galaxy B to research poop. Then it malfunction because of blumpkins. Then he when to 982745692 AD and got hard. He jumped into a UFO and was a midgets aka little people. Then a unicorn popped out of the doorway and said "hello, is it me you're looking for I'm gordong freeman. I like to use hydra crowbar dildos to get into parliament."

Part 2

Ok so. Shut up. Its pitch dark there was a big yellow pole on top of it was a bald yellow scientist then there was a massive dog with 7 blue noses, then they fell off and then there was a TV that he turned onto the Disney channel that you could see the text apple sauce then there were was skulls everywhere, even there, then the dog realised that wasted his life playing Tf2 for 1023 hours. The scientist decided to go to the shops and buy a credit card because he realised he only had two nickels and a dog he had to go sell the most valuable item… the two nickels, then he went to Afghanistan and found the nearest market, then everything turned into rainbow for a split second and then poop for a split second and then skulls for a split second and then he realised he missed the steeplechase in Antarctica and then he sat down to watch game of thrones.

Part 3

I'm lubricating my string. They told me I could never make a Spherical Square, but one rainy Tuesday, I was in my lab and I had the BRILLIANT idea of combining a melon and a Lego Brick. I placed the 2 objects in my Trans-Morphinator 42000tm and there was a blinding flash of purple light! I opened my eyes and, there it was...a SPHERICAL SQUARE! I quickly picked it up and went to place it on my desk when it Sprung to Life and attached itself to my face! My vision went black until all I could see was a glowing triangle with and eye inside of it. The eye-triangle talks to me every day now, telling me the secrets and ancient mysteries of the All Mighty 'Illuminati'. It reveals to me that Obama is actually Chewbacca and that one day I will meet him and together we will launch his Mayonnaise Nukes and cleanse the world of it ignorance with the power of MAYONNAISE! The Spherical Sphere has engulfed my entire body now, and the eye-triangle barely ever speaks to me now, only repeating the word 'Mayo' over and over in my head. I don't know how long it's been, I'm so tired... Then Suddenly! The eye-triangle starts to glow bright purple and utters the words, 'It is Time'. Then it disappears and the blackness fades until I can see my lab again, except it's incredibly overgrown, I look down and see that the rest of my body is covered by purple goo. But I don't panic, in fact I feel totally at peace. I stand-up with no effort and Chewbacca is there, with a big red button next to him... I press it. I am suddenly covered by Mayonnaise. My life's purpose is complete. I black out...