Hello there everyone! From the intricate mess that is my mind, I bring you one of my all-time favorite things to write about from My Little Pony; the adorableness of Daddy Discord! I just love writing Discord -even when it's just him- but I love writing about him and his supposed "daughter" Screwball even more!

Also, AN IMPORTANT NOTE. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH.

On my last Daddy Discord fic, I had one too many people asking me to make Fluttershy Screwball's mom/Discord's wife. For the last and final time, I HATE FLUTTERCORD AND DO NOT SHIP IT. In fact, if you clicked on this, expecting it to be another one of those overdone "Discord-married-Fluttershy-and-Screwball-is-their-baby" fics, then please leave immediately. Bottom line, do not ask me to ship Fluttercord, or I will (virtually) slap you. I'm sorry if I sound harsh and hater-ish, but I do not want that ship shoved down my throat. To be safe, I completely pushed Fluttershy out of this story in hopes that no one will ask me to ship it. Thank you for your acceptance and enjoy this story.

"Dad."

A moan escaped from Discord's mouth, hearing the high-pitch voice of a young filly call him.

"Dad!"

Discord felt something land on his bed, causing it to shake. He then felt a nose on his nose and four small hooves on his chest.

"Daaaaaad!"

Slowly, Discord's eyes cracked open, only to see a pair of spiraling eyes staring into his own.

"Yay! You're awake!" The small purple filly cheered happily.

Discord yawned before wrapping his tail around the filly's waist and placing her back on the floor. He rolled over with his back facing her and pulled the covers over his head. His efforts proved to be fruitless, for the child he was trying to discourage simply hopped back on his bed and started poking his back.

"Come on, daddy! I wanna do something fun!"

Discord gave a quiet groan, trying to figure out how he would get the child to leave his room so he could get a few more hours of sleep. An idea immediately came to him, causing him to smile mischievously. He continued to lay there, letting the filly poke him continuely.

"Ugh! You're a big bore-y bore-pants today!"

Very suddenly, Discord surprised the little filly by flipping over and grabbing her. He then went for her exposed belly, using his claws to gently brush across the surface of her skin. She started to laugh hysterically, so much so that she started crying and attempting to kick him away. Finally, he let up on the tickle torture and set the filly back on the bed.

"Good morning, Screwball." Discord greeted with a yawn.

"Good morning daddy!" The filly called Screwball chirped back, "What kinda fun things are we going to do today?"

"How about, let-daddy-sleep-for-two-more-hours?"

"Silly daddy, that's boring!"

"It's not boring to me."

"Well come on!" Screwball grabbed her father's tail in her teeth and tried to tug him off the bed. However, Discord didn't budge as he slowly sat up and stretched his tired limbs.

"Maybe later today," He yawned, "I've got to get some breakfast."

"But daaaad! You promised!" Screwball whined.

Discord chuckled before he ruffled the filly's mane, "Later, I promise. In the meantime, let's go grab something to eat, shall we?"

"Can we cover those dumb princess in syrup today?!" Screwball asked excitedly.

"Maybe," Discord replied, shrugging a bit, "Only if you promise to eat all of your breakfast!"

"I will!"

Discord then picked his daughter up and quickly teleported down to the palace kitchen. Since his reformation, Discord had been staying at the Canterlot palace where the princesses could keep a close eye on him. He could go wherever he pleased, but he had to promise not to cause mischief. If he did, he had to clean it up afterwards and apologize to the poor, unfortunate pony who had the misfortune to be the victim of one of his infamous pranks.

Screwball -his "not-technically" child-, had come with him. She wasn't technically Discord's daughter, being that she was formed when said chaos spirit was experimenting with some cotton candy clouds to see if they could make a good, destructive tornado. When the cotton candy tornado got out of hand, Screwball was born, and Discord almost immediately adopted her as his daughter. Ever since then, they had been inseparable.

Milliseconds later, Discord and Screwball appeared in the dining hall, where the alicorn sisters, Celestia and Luna, were enjoying their breakfast.

"Good morning, Discord." Celestia greeted with a smile that almost seemed forced.

"DID THOU SLEEPEST WELL?!" Luna screamed at the top of her lungs. She quickly cleared her throat and started again, "I mean... Did you sleep alright?"

"Well, if getting woken up by a filly at six in the morning means sleeping well, then yes." Discord replied sarcastically. He and Screwball took a seat at the dining table. Instead of taking the food set before him, Discord used his magic to make pancakes appear on his and his daughter's plate.

Celestia chuckled, turning to Screwball, "What about you, my dear? Did you sleep well?"

Screwball shied away, suddenly becoming smaller. It was clear she found the princesses as untrustworthy and scary.

Discord gently placed his talon hand on the filly's mane, "Ah, don't mind her, Celestia. She's still a bit standoffish of you two."

Luna took a bite of her waffle, "That's understandable. Me and my sister can sometimes be intimidating."

"Well, it's not that," Discord said, "It's... Y'know... Imprisonment in stone for a thousand years."

The princesses exchanged glances.

"I see..." Celestia nodded before biting into an apple.

"Oh Discord!" Luna suddenly spoke up, "I almost forgot; in Ponyville, they are hosting a father-daughter dance. I was wondering if you and Screwball would be interested."

Discord scoffed, "Bleh, boring much? More like father-daughter snorefest."

"Why do you say that?" Celestia asked.

"Because, every snooty father and every one of their bratty daughters are so orderly and dull," Discord explained, sitting back in his chair, "We'd show up, they'd probably kick us out just for being way too interesting."

Luna rolled her eyes, "Fine then. I was just trying to find something that would help tighten your bond with Screwball."

"Puh-lease." Scoffed Discord. He unexpectedly grab Screwball up in a hug, causing her to giggle adorably, "We have a bond that's tighter than Snowflake's thighs!"

Celestia cocked an eyebrow, "Who's thighs...?"

"Nopony's." Discord quickly answered, releasing his daughter.

"There's also a contest," Luna added with a mischievous smile, "For Father of the Year."

"I wouldn't go if they offered free refreshments. Why are you trying to get me to go?"

Luna sighed, "Because, some incredibly rich stallion wins every year, and I'm pretty sure you make a much better father than him."

"Still not my cup of tea." Discord made a cup appear with a poster for the father-daughter dance placed within it. He quickly threw the cup behind him, having it explode into blue butterflies with orange spots upon impact with the palace floor.

Celestial frowned, "That's fine, Discord. We aren't forcing you to go if you don't wish to go."

"Thank the gods," Sighed Discord, finishing off the rest of his pancake, "I was worried that this would turn out like the Grand Galloping Gala incident last year. In other words, I nearly died from boredom until the paramedics luckily revived me."

The princess weren't sure if Discord was being figurative or literal. With him, it was most likely literal.

"Anyway, I did plan on taking a trip to Ponyville," The chaos spirit continued, hesitating slightly when Screwball hopped in his lap, "I wanted to pay my friends, the bearers of those Elements of Harmony a little visit. You know, to build friendship."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." Celestia encouraged.

"Just don't try anything mischievous." Warned Luna.

"Have I ever done anything mischievous before?" Discord began, "I'm not Loki, for goodness sake. I make chaos, not mischief."

Luna bared her teeth, "Don't try anything chaotic..."

"Don't worry, we won't!" Discord gave a laugh before quickly disappearing. However, he accidentally left Screwball behind when he teleported.

"DADDY!" She shouted.

Discord quickly appeared and picked the filly up, blushing brightly, "Sorry, darling! Daddy didn't forget about you!"

With that, they both disappeared.

Celestia looked to Luna with a disdainful expression, "What were you saying about Discord making a good father?"

Milliseconds later, Discord and Screwball appeared in the town plaza of Ponyville. Most of the ponies were startled by his appearance, but they immediately carried on their business, slightly wary of him. Even though he was reformed, they still acted slightly scared of him.

"Daddy, since when did you have friends?" Screwball asked as Discord gently placed her on the ground.

"Oh, since recently!" He replied, "They're a bit snooty at first, but they'll warm up to you eventually." He pointed at the large oak tree in the center of the town, "That's where Twilight, or Prissy Princess Sparkle Butt as I like to call her, lives."

"She sounds... Prissy..."

"She is, but she is the most fun to troll and pull pranks on!"

"Really?!"

"Yes, her reactions are priceless!"

"Well what are we waiting for?! Let's go!" Screwball took off in the direction of the tree. However, she wasn't watching where she was going and ran into another filly.

"Hey, stupid head!" An annoying, high-pitch voice cried, "Watch where you're going!"

As Screwball stood up and Discord quickly trotted over, they saw who the filly was. She was extremely simlilar to Screwball in her colors, except she had normal blue eyes, a tiara sitting on her head, and a cutie mark of said tiara on her flank.

"Eek! A monster!" The filly shrieked upon seeing Discord. She quickly ran to the protection of a brown stallion with a slicked-back mane of black. He wore a red tie and had bags of money as his cutie mark.

"Excuse me," He began in a snobby tone, "I don't allow my daughter to play with strangers, much less the daughter of some untamed beast."

Immediately, the hackles on Discord's back rose, "Excuse me? Just who do you think you are calling me a beast?"

"My name is Filthy Rich," The stallion said, his glare unfaltering, "This is Diamond Tiara. You're Discord, and I suppose the freakish filly is your child."

Diamond Tiara glared out from under her father.

"We came here to participate in the father-daughter dance and win the Father of the Year award," Rich explained, "We've won for the past five years in a row."

Diamond Tiara stuck her tongue out at the two.

"I pray that you two aren't participating in it," Rich continued, "Heaven knows you're going to be beaten badly. Do you even have a heart to care about a child?"

Discord bared his teeth, "I don't know who you think you are, Mister Filthy Pants, or whatever your name is, but I don't like your tone!"

Screwball hid behind her father, sensing the hostility of the situation. Diamond Tiara gained the courage to approach her. She looked the timid filly right in her swirly eyes.

"You're a freak, just like your father!" She taunted, "Ew! What kind of eyes are those? Weirdo!"

Discord immediately bent down and bared his teeth at the bratty filly. She shrieked in terror before running back to her father.

"Waaaaahhh! He's trying to eat me!" She cried in a tone that was clearly fake.

"Beast!" Rich sneered, "You have the nerve to scare a perfectly innocent filly like that?! How dare you!"

"Your brat of a daughter was picking on my daughter!" Discord shot back, "I defended my child as I should have!"

"How is she even your child?" Rich asked, "You look absolutely nothing alike!"

"I bet he kidnapped her and hypnotized her into loving him!" Diamond Tiara jeered, "That's why her eyes look like that!"

That was it. Discord was on his last straw. His body started to glow very slightly and his eyes almost turned completely red. However, a voice from behind quickly reverted him back to normal.

"Ahem."

Discord turned, discovering the alicorn princess, Twilight Sparkle standing directly behind him. She had a displeased look on her face, causing Discord to immediately appear completely innocent. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara took this chance to turn their noses up and walk away. Discord sneered something under his breath before turning back to Twilight.

"And just what was that all about?" She asked.

"A couple of jerks acting like they were higher than us," Discord replied, baring his teeth, "He and his bratty filly were saying horrible things about us. When you insult Discord, you insult all of the chaotic powers he has that can blast you into oblivion."

Twilight growled, until her eyes suddenly widened, "Wait, we?"

Discord gestured to Screwball, who stopped hiding behind him, "Twilight, meet Screwball, Screwball meet Twilight. Besides the point, I need to ask something of you, Twilight."

Twilight seemed skeptical, "If it has anything to do with using my princess powers to put that stallion and filly in jail or exile, then no."

"No no," Discord quickly corrected, "I want you to direct me to the sign up sheet for the Father of the Year contest. We're about to kick some Filthy Rich butt."