Dear Diary

"What can I do? Tell me what can I say...When do I let him know I feel the same way? How can my feelings be so hard to show when...I really want him to know..."

I went to the clubroom, finding it spotless again, thanks to a certain fucking manager. Ever since she joined my football club, my fucking clubroom was never in mess again. She always cleaned it before and after the club activities, is she that bored? Or is she just plain stupid? I'm getting tired of her lectures like "Hiruma-kun, don't throw your garbage here!" or "Don't go around making this club room a damp site!" Really makes you fucking mad right?

I inwardly sighed as I went to the drawers to find my strategic cards, but they were not there. That fucking manager must have been misplaced it again while cleaning. I raked my spiky hair in frustration and decided to find her. But before leaving the room, I stumbled on a little book lying on the floor. Yes, she cleaned the whole room but there were still unwelcomed things left on the floor. I picked it up and looked inside. Mamori's Diary was the two words I saw on the first page. I smirked, thinking that she's so dead.

I flipped the pages and saw that there were only three (3) entries there, meaning she just started writing a diary. I scoffed, but it's alright, diaries were always worth reading because it always had hidden secrets of their owners.

I read the first entry.

September 15, 2010—Tuesday

Dear Diary,

It's been a rough day today. I woke up in the wrong side of the bed, burnt my toast and forgot my lunch box at home. I sighed. I went to school and my day got worse again. Hiruma-kun snickered and told me that my hair was not properly comb. I was shocked and went to the comfort room, finding it perfectly neat. Hiruma-kun tricked me. With that, I was late and got a detention.

In detention, I had to clean the whole library and sort out the books. It was really tiring. Then I went to the clubroom for the club activities. Seeing it messy again, my eyebrow twitched. Regardless, I still cleaned it. Then everyone came in, greeting me. And Hiruma-kun put an incredible amount of videotapes in the table, saying, "Hey fucking manager, watch the videos and list down the opponents' weakness. Then sort it. Got it?" Really, does he want to kill me?

Then they went out for practice, leaving me alone with the videotapes. I sighed and watched them one by one, listing down all their possible weakness and game plays. And I think I fell asleep in watching. And when I woke up, the sun had already set and the green jacket uniform of our school was draped on my shoulders. I gasped and stood up. I looked around and found Hiruma-kun on a chair, snoring lightly and he had no jacket on. Maybe, he was the one who did it for me. I was really grateful.

I took off the jacket and place it on him. I ran my fingers through his spiky hair and smiled, leaning down to kiss him gently on his cheeks. I felt my heart pound and my cheeks heat up. Why am I feeling like this around Hiruma-kun? When did it start? I don't know...I'm so confused...Now, I just want to be friends with him, to be near him and to be in his side always. I took a last look on him and exited the club room, going home. The trip to my home was boring, how I wished I wake up Hiruma-kun and let him bring me home. BUT, I know he will not do it. So this is better, it's painful to be rejected...

Lovelots,

Mamori.

P.S.: I hope I won't dream about him again. Last night, I dreamt about him kissing me.

My eyes widened, couldn't believe what I was reading. I had also feelings for the auburn haired fucking manager of mine. But of course, never in my life would I admit it. Hmm, so that's why I had that fucking jacket around me that time. And my cheeks were a little warm, because she fucking kissed it. Damn that sneaky, little fucking manager! She just made me blushed today and it's all her fault. Alright, there's still so much to read. I flipped the next entry and read it.

September 16, 2010—Wednesday

Dear Diary,

I am indeed lucky today. I woke up early and was not late to school. Hiruma-kun didn't tease me about anything and was strangely quiet. Wait—maybe he discovered that I kissed him on his cheek. And that would be so embarrassing! Things would not be the same as before. I sighed. I needed to make amends on him, tell him the kiss was nothing. I went to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around to face me with his impassive face, there's even no trace of him trademark smirk. I was getting nervous already!

"Hiruma-kun, about yesterday," I fidgeted my fingers, I don't know how to say it. He frowned at me and shouted, "Yes, about yesterday!" My eyes widened and I get jumpy! Oh no, he knew what I did! I bowed several times to him and said, "Sorry!" He said, "You better be fucking sorry! I allowed you to sleep, knowing you would finish the fucking videotapes when you woke up! But you didn't and you left me alone! I almost get a fucking cold!" I looked at him and muttered, "Eh? That's all?" He brought out his guns and fired it, "What do you mean that's all, you fucking manager?" I smiled with glee! My secret was safe and I said with relief, "Don't worry I'll finish it later."

I hummed a cheerful song and went to my chair. The day went by and it's already club time. I went to the club room as usual and cleaned it. I continued watching the videotapes until the other members arrived. Before going to practice, Hiruma-kun yelled at me, "You better finish it, you fucking manager!" and I was left alone.

I finished all of them by the time the members finished practicing. They bid me farewells. I was about to go to when Hiruma-kun said that he still need me. I waited by the chair, watching him to get undress in front of—what! He's undressing in front of me? I shouted, "What the hell are you doing?" He gave me the look that tell me that I'm so stupid and said, "I'm changing to my fucking school uniform. Do you want me to stink in sweat?" I blushed and stuttered, "B-But I'm still here!" He snorted and shouted, "Then go outside, you fucking manager!" I quickly stood up, going to the door. But I take a glimpse on his toned, muscular body first before going out. My face must look like a big tomato right now. Hiruma-kun can really make my heart beat faster and make me feel faint.

Ah...I just realized that I liked him very much.

Lovelots,

Mamori.

P.S.: He just needs me to accompany him to the convenience store to buy his sugar free gum.

I was getting dizzy with everything I discovered. So the fucking manager like me—or even fucking loves me. I don't really get this fucking love thing but sometimes this word came to my mind when she's fucking near me. Damn, does this mean that I fucking love her? Oh, well...on to the last entry.

September 17, 2010—Thursday

Dear Diary,

In my dreams, Hiruma-kun appeared again, saying how much he loves me too. I was happy and at the same time sad, knowing he would never really say that to me. He didn't love me or anything. For him I was just another "fucking manager" that he could use. Yet, I want to confess my feelings for him but was afraid of rejection. Those thoughts were ringing on my mind the whole day. I went to the school feeling disheartened. I know he would never return my feelings, so what's the point of saying it to him. I would just get hurt in the end.

I sighed and sat on my seat with a heavy heart. Hiruma-kun was sitting in front of me, so near yet so far. I want to hug him and tell him how much I love him—wait, love? Not like—I guess I developed my feelings into love. This is so frustrating, my problem was getting worse and worse...And I can't stop it. Oh, what should I do?

The time swept by, and all I think was Hiruma-kun. I unconsciously wrote "Youichi Hiruma" instead of Adolf Hitler in my lecture in history. I think I'm going crazy. I closed my notebook and sighed. Then the bell suddenly rang, meaning the end of the afternoon class. It's already club time. I went to the club room to do the usual and Hiruma-kun came. He had his trademark smirk on. Maybe he blackmailed someone again for his convenience. He looked towards me and said, "Fucking manager, I have more videotapes for you to watch. Do the same to them."

"Alright," I answered and went to him, only to slip on the floor because of the rug that was left lying there. I was waiting for a hard impact that never came. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the strong arms of Hiruma-kun. My heart started to beat faster and I looked up. He was also staring down to me. I got lost and mesmerized in his stares. I could feel his hot breath on my face. Our moment was broken when the others arrived. We get off from each other and he shouted, "You're such a klutz, fucking manager!" and he joined the others practice.

After a few hours of practice, everybody decided to go home, leaving only me and Hiruma-kun. He uttered, "You're such a slow poke, fucking manager! I came to help to you in your fucking work."

He sat down beside me. I reached for one of the videotapes and I didn't know that he was reaching for it too. He touched my hand. And I felt electric shock running in our fingers. I quickly pulled away, blushing. And we spent the next hours, watching the videos. It was past nine o'clock when we finished the last video. Surprisingly, Hiruma-kun offered to walk me home. I thanked him. He showed me his trademark smirk and walked off. Oh, how much I loved him. And I finally made up my mind. I would tell him what I feel tomorrow...

Lovelots,

Mamori.

P.S.: I would ask him to go to the roof top tomorrow and confess. Wish me luck diary.

I closed the diary and felt my cell phone rang. I put my hands on my pocket, getting the phone and answering the call.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked.

"Mou, Hiruma-kun. You're really rude..."

It was the fucking manager's voice. Ah, I know. She would confess to me at the roof top of the school.

"So what do you need fucking manager?" I said impassively, rolling my eyes.

"Can you go to the roof top of the school? I need to tell you something."

"Can't you say it here?" I questioned him.

"It's really important. I want to say it to you face-to-face."

"Fine," I growled and closed the phone. I smirked widely. I'm excited but I won't ever admit it. I exited the club room and trudged my way to the roof top. I met the vice president of the student council along the way. He had thick eyeglasses and messy black hair. He approached me with a forced smile.

"Do you where Mamori-chan is?" He asked, fidgeting his fingers. I raised my eyebrow.

"Why are you asking me? Am I her fucking babysitter?" I answered him with a question.

"Well, she was your manager. Maybe you know where she is right now," he answered.

"Why do you need to see her anyway?" I questioned him.

"I was about to confess to her," he replied with a meek voice. I felt my blood boil. This guy sure had some guts.

"You fucking eyeglasses," I started, flipping the pages of my notebook, "You wet the bed until you were ten years old. You had a big, disgusting mole in your butt. And, do you still want me to continue?"

"No!" he paled and looked around to see if someone heard it. I smirked and whispered to him, "He's my fucking girl. So don't you dare hit on her." He nodded his head vigorously. I continued walking to the roof top. After a few minutes, I finally reached it. I opened the knob and walked inside. I saw her on the fence, looking melancholy.

"So why the hell did you ask me here?" I said. She jump a little and turned around to see me, face flushed. She fidgeted her fingers and looked at me, "W-Will you...will you..."

I tapped my foot. This girl was really slow. "Will I what?" I uttered. Her face turned redder and said, "Will you be my lab partner?"

"What the hell are you saying fucking manager? Our lab partners were already decided ages ago," I said, annoyed. She giggled nervously.

"I was just kidding. Well, will you...will you," She closed her eyes.

"I don't have all the fucking time. If you're not going to say it then I'm going," I was starting to walk away when she hugged me in the back.

"Hiruma-kun! Don't go!" She shouted. "I just want to ask you if you want to go out with me!"

I smirked. That's what I want to hear. She took a lot of time to admit that. I made her release her hold on me and turned her to face me. I snaked my arms in her waist and hold her chin, closing the distance between our lips. I tilted my head so we could kiss better. She started to kiss back and I kissed her deeply. We parted and I smirked at her.

"That was my answer, fucking manager," I said. She smiled.

"Why am I feeling like this around Hiruma-kun? When did it start? I don't know...I'm so confused...Now, I just want to be friends with him, to be near him and to be in his side always," I quoted from her diary. Her eyes widened.

"What? Did by any chance you have my diary?" she asked. I showed her the little book in my hands. She was stunned.

"You devil! Why did you have it?" she hollered.

"Is it my fault that you left it lying on the floor?" I smirked. She buried her face on my chest. She was clearly blushing. I hugged her and kissed her hair.

"It's alright. Everything on your diary would be our secret," I whispered in her ears and I brought my face down to taste her lips again.

Dear Diary

anime16: please review. And thanks for reading. Please tell me which diary entry you liked and why? And please review. I want to hear your thoughts.