So I'm in the middle of writing a longish fic that's fairly dark, and this appeared as one of the chapters. And it totally didn't fit the mood - it's K rated and deserves it - and I like it too much to post it in such a way that a lot of folks won't see it. So it became a one-shot, and will be replaced in the longer fic.
This is not set in the same timeline as any other story of mine.
Timeline: many years after the show.
Perry shot out of the tube and landed in his command chair with a soft 'thud'. The screen came on, and Major Monogram was looking out at him. "Agent P, thank goodness you're here. As you know, today is The Day, and I need to know what Heinz is doing. I need you to retrieve this valuable information for me."
Perry saluted the screen and headed toward his hover car.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz was making sure everything was Just Right when the doorbell rang. He rushed over and flung the door open, saying, "Va...what?" He looked down. "Oh. Perry the Platypus, what an unanticipated surprise! And by unanticipated, I mean...well, actually, I wasn't anticipating it. Won't you come in?"
Perry tipped his hat as he came in, but Doof glared at him anyway. "I'm not going to tell you, I hope you realize that. It's hard enough to surprise them as it is, without him trying to outmaneuver me every time. You'll find out soon enough, Perry the Platypus."
Perry walked over to the table and took a seat. Doof smiled at him. "I suppose we have time for a quick game before they arrive." He took a checkerboard from a shelf and set it on the table, along with a set of checkers. Just as they were about to start, however, the doorbell rang again.
Doof rushed over and flung the door open again. "Vanessa, you're here!" Vanessa walked through the door carrying a small child, followed by an uncomfortable-looking Monty Monogram. "And how's the cutest grandchild ever?" Doof said, tickling the little boy's chin. "Did you turn one year old today? Are you getting big?"
The little boy wiggled, and Vanessa set him on the floor, where he attempted to toddle over to Perry. "Hi, Dad. Yeah, he's one today. And just starting to walk. Hope there's nothing breakable in reach. Henry, be nice to Perry, please."
The little boy fell down halfway to Perry. Perry hopped down from his chair and sat down next to the boy, who wrapped his arms around the platypus. Doof sniffled a bit at the sight before he remembered his present for the little boy.
"I have something for my grandson!" he sang as he kneeled down with a small, wrapped box. The boy let go of Perry and looked at the box, puzzled. Doof helped him tear the paper off the box, then showed him what was inside. The boy pulled out a fuzzy blue blanket, which he hugged and rubbed his cheek against.
"Ack," the boy said.
"Look here on the corner," Doof said. "It has your initials on it, see? H.F.H.M." He pointed to each letter as he expanded the initials, "Henry Francis Heinz Monogram. That's you! See, Henry because your mother liked the name. Francis for your other grandfather, you know, the guy with the monobrow like your dad. Heinz for me, your favorite grandfather! And Monogram because that's your dad's silly last name. But it fits, because those initials there? They're your monogram." Henry gave him a smile as he gripped the blanket in his fist.
Vanessa knelt down next to her father. "Thanks, Dad. That's a really nice present, and he really seems to like it. I was worried you were going to give him one of your old -inators."
"Oh, you know I don't do much of that any more. All Perry ends up doing these days is helping Major Monogram compete with me on who can spoil our grandchild the most."
Major Monogram sat at his desk finishing some paper work. His phone bleeped, and he quickly checked for an incoming message. Agent P had sent valuable intelligence.
Henry's birthday present: monogrammed blanket.
As he read, the phone bleeped again, and a picture of the blanket, tightly held by the most adorable grandson in the world, came up.
"Confound it. That's going to be hard to top. I need to call in reinforcements."
He quickly called his wife.
"Dear? Do we have a birthday present planned for Henry yet? I found out what Heinz gave him..."
"Yes, dear. We have one. It's a set of board books for bedtime. Goodnight Moon, and Runaway Bunny, and Big Red Barn."
"Oh. Okay," he answered, relieved.
"And if you want to be here when they get here, you should probably come home now, dear."
"I'm on my way."