Cas and Dean have been officially together (if you can call it that) for about a week and they still haven't told Sam. It's not that Dean's ashamed of Cas, because he's definitely not. He's actually happier than he's been in a long, long time. He just doesn't know how to explain any of that to his brother without breaking out in a rash.

So, they sneak around for a while. They hastily kiss when Sam leaves the room. Cas traces the lines of Dean's palm when Sam walks a few steps ahead of them. No sex yet - Dean's too paranoid - but otherwise it's pretty standard stuff. Honestly, it's a well-executed strategy and Dean can't help feeling proud of himself, until one day when they're watching TV in the bunker. Dean has his arm around Cas' shoulder when in walks Sam, who's just gotten back from doing an interview with one of the victims' husbands.

"Hey, what the…?" Dean sputters to Sam, whose eyes have flicked over the situation for about a second. Dean's ashamed that he pulls back his arm a little too sharply.

"Got back early," says Sam, shrugging.

"Cas, can you, uh…?" says Dean.

"I'm hungry," Cas says. They both give him a look. "Hungry for solitude," he adds. A little weird, but Dean appreciates the sentiment, especially after he just made it look like he's ashamed of Cas after all.

Cas wanders into the kitchen to stare at their cabinetry or something, and Sam glances at the TV. "Rocky V. You guys are that bored, huh?"

"Alright, here's the thing." Something finally clicks in Dean. He can't let this go on, so this has gotta happen now. Cas deserves better. And if Sam says anything against it, Dean's gonna chuck his signed copy of Deathly Hallows in the fire. "Cas and I are together." Dean can feel himself adopting the tone he uses when Sam tells him two bacon cheeseburgers are enough. "Yeah, like together, together. And if you don't like it, I'll—"

"Okay. Congrats."

"Wait. What?"

Sam cracks a smile. "You realize I've known you've had a thing for Cas for like… five years. Right?"

"What the hell?"

"I'm pretty sure he's been Team Dean for even longer than that. Definitely within the first couple months he brought you topside."

"How did you…?"

"Dude, seriously. It's been nothing but…" Sam lowers his voice a couple octaves. " 'Wow Dean, that plaid shirt looks stunning on you.' 'I know, Cas, but unfortunately there's all this evil to deal with first. Besides, I'm only into ladies.' 'But Dean…' 'Boobs, Cas! All day and all night. Now take your chiseled jaw and go away until I need to smell you again.' "

"Alright, slow your roll, Robin Williams. Cas does not sound like that. It's more of a solid, husky…"

Sam just stares at Dean pointedly. "I rest my case," he says. "You're lucky I kept my mouth shut when I was soulless. All I did was count the boners. Which were constant."

"The kitchen floor could really use a nice mopping," Cas says, re-entering the bunker with excellent timing.

"Sam knows, Cas," says Dean. "Sorry."

"Oh, I'm aware," says Cas. "We just wanted to see how long it would take you to say anything."

"What was I supposed to do, bet against myself?" says Sam.

"Son of a bitch," says Dean.

"At least we can make out whenever we want, now," says Cas.

"Yeah," says Dean, defeated. "At least that. Five years, really?"

"It's actually more like six," Sam says. "I was rounding down for your benefit."

"Gee, thanks."

"Rocky Balboa's on next," says Cas. "That's the sixth one in the franchise. One Rocky for each year Dean's ignored his stirrings of lust for me."

"I'm touched, Cas."

"You will be. As soon as Sam leaves."

THE END