A/N: I had to post a Watershed post-ep story, too. This is my first ever published fiction, so bear with me and be kind when reviewing it. English is not my native language but I do try to be as good as I can. Beta-ed by lovely WriterLeigh. If you find grammar or spelling errors, please point them at me gently and I will fix them. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Exigency

"Katherine Houghton Beckett … will you marry me?"

When it came to situations that have left her speechless, Kate could name quite a few. The ones that left her heart beating anxiously at the next move of a suspect pointing a gun at her or at a member of her team. Every setback she had to bear while finding the person who had murdered her mother in an attempt to hide even greater things. Situations and people had stunned her to silence in many different ways but never had she anticipated to be sitting on this very swing set, in this meaningful location for the both of them and being stunned to silence by this very question.

Fractions of seconds passed by while Kate's mind was occupied with myriads of thoughts. The bigger part of her brain tried to figure out the sincerity of his question, mapping the familiar face and trying to decipher the emotions displayed there. How his blue eyes looked at her, how his earnest expression slowly but steadily turned into worry for she had not responded to his question, yet.

She couldn't move, she couldn't make a sound. She just looked at him, stunned, at a loss for words.

"Kate?"

His voice was quiet, cautious. He was still kneeling in front of her, looking into her eyes intently. Waiting. The wind brushed a few strands of her hair into her face and this worked as a little wake up call. She slowly raised her hand and tucked the loose strands behind her ear.

"I …" she tried to say more. Tried to make sure she can explain how surprised she was. Mere moments ago she was mentally preparing for him to break up with her as he sternly said he wanted both of them to have more. Because they deserved it. And now this?

She had been so frustrated when he had ignored her question about where their relationship was going. Clearly, this was what she had meant. Of all times he had observed her in the past, spotted every undertone in her voice, every change of facial expression, uncovered all her "it's nothing's" he did not detect the underlying question of her "Castle, where are we going"?

"I am not entirely sure how to respond to that" is what she managed to get out. No! This felt very wrong. Why did she just say that? His face fell. The hand which was still holding up the stunning diamond ring dropped slightly, too.

"I guess I knew that"

"This is not what I mean." This made him look into her hazel eyes which were filling up with unshed tears as she leant towards him. "A couple of weeks ago I asked you where we were going and I meant this, I meant us. We really had a great run together. I just didn't know where we were headed, what you wanted from this, from us. And I had to make sure I knew what I wanted."

A soft smile played about her lips as she took Castle's hand into both of hers and looked at the ring it was still clasping.

"Kate?" Castle asked again, unable to keep the worry completely out of his voice.

"Please let me finish"

There was a slightly longer pause this time and Castle could tell Kate needed to find the words which would fit best. He knew the feeling very well. He had to deal with it in every book he had ever written. And re-written because he didn't like how the words sounded that he had produced. He knew she felt like she had just one shot to get it right and he was too desperate and too invested into her, into them, to interrupt her now.

"Someone I knew very well once told me that what you and I had was real. And that I should not look back and wonder "if only". Taking the job would have been one of those possibilities you have once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Not taking it could mean looking back at the missed opportunity and wonder what could have happened if you took it." Kate said, now kneeling in front of him, still holding his hand.

"I hide in my work. I don't open up to people, you're right. But I should have known better than to speak about MY life still. It is our life and I don't get to decide alone anymore. I can't do that. I know that now."

"Yeah?" he asked, still cautious not to interrupt her train of thought.

"Did you mean it when you said" whatever I did and whatever I decided, that this…" she gestured toward the ring "… is what you want? Do you really want this?"

"I want us. Always. The last year has been fantastic and I want more of that, I want it all. I think I just got comfortable with the way we were. We were amazing …" he stumbled over the past tense he has used and corrected himself quickly "...we ARE amazing."

She smiled. Oh wow, she smiled. He felt like a weight has been lifted off his chest, he feels like he is able to breathe again, although this was not over. She hadn't given him an answer, yet. He decided not to push this time, too. She needed to find the answer herself and doesn't need any guidance.

"I didn't want to push you away with actually phrasing what I wanted because I was afraid it might drive you away. I spoke to mother about it…" Kate's eyes widen and she is surprised to learn that he sought advice from the dramatic redhead "… and she made me realize that I wasn't sure if our relationship was going to work out."

Kate looked at him, mouth agape, slightly tightening the grasp of her hands around his hand. She had feared he might say something along these lines. Hadn't she been convinced he was about to end things when he started to speak barely a few minutes earlier? So this is where this was coming from. He had held back to not appear pushy. Given his background it could actually have been a good move. If she wanted that. But she didn't.

"So you let our relationship plateau?"

"Yeah, I guess I did." He admitted, looking slightly shaken. He felt stupid for not realizing how much she had needed his reassurance. She had hidden in relationships with men she hadn't loved. He remembers how he accused her of that. Accused her of hiding. Of pushing aside unpleasant decisions. Had he not wanted her to say that she wanted more than that? Hadn't he hoped she wanted him? Hadn't he hoped they were more? How could he have let her needs out of his sight? Why didn't he realize earlier?

The two of them were still kneeling in front of each other, beside a swing set in a crowded park. Two kids were running toward them, chasing each other. A boy and a girl. Whenever the little boy thought he caught the pig-tailed blonde girl, she narrowly escaped and ran off in another direction. Their laughter echoes around the playground.

"They could be us." Castle muttered under his breath. He is still careful not to make her wanna flee the scene. Still he needs to mock her, them, a little bit. He has always been the class clown, after all.

"Yeah, you could be right about that."

Kate lifted her right hand to caress his cheek and a wider smile formed on Castle's face.

"Even if you didn't listen to what I really meant to ask the other night when I wanted to ask you where the relationship was going, I can tell you listened when I said how a man should propose to a woman." Kate smiled.

"Big and intimate?"

"Big and intimate."

A/N: Dun ... dun ... duuuuun! Do you think I will make her say yes, not yet, or no?