Hey, my peeps! I abso-tute-ly loooooove Ranger's Apprentice. And I've kidnapped all the main characters! Ha ha ha, insanity.

Disclaimer: A dream that has yet to come true…

Me: So, Will, I've kidnapped you!

Will: What? Oh, my god. -curls up in ball and rocks- You are not in Skandia. You are NOT in Skandia! YOU ARE NOT IN SKANDIA!

Me: -coughs- awwwwkwuuuuuurd. Hey, Will? Is your breakdown over yet? 'Cause I have cooooooffeeeeeee.

Will: GIMME! But, do you have any honey?

Me: Pretty sure…oh, sorry. We're all out. How about some sugar?

Will: That's okay! -mumbles- What would Halt do?

Me: Have some sugar. Halt would definitely have some sugar!

Will: I'm lonely and bored! I want Alyss here.

Me: You can summon someone once a week. That's totally fair, don't ya think?

Will: No, it's not fair. Besides, I have a special summoning chant for Alyss.

-sings-

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Halt: -pop- Whoa, how did I get here?

Will: Hey, I meant to summon Alyss!

Me: -laughing till I cry- Oh, oh, my god! This is just t-t-to funny!

Halt and Will: SHUT UP!

Me: Hey, I just thought it was funny.

Halt and Will again: You're an apprentice. You're not supposed to think.

Halt: I wrote a poem.

Me: Interesting change of subject, Halt. Okay, let's hear it!

Halt: Alright, here it goes:

Will, Will You Ever Shut Up?

By Halt

Will, will you ever shut up?

Because of you my life is out of it's rut,

But can you ever shut up?

Sometimes, I like Horace better

Because he's not a bed wetter.

But Horace, oh, Horace

He can be such a borace.

Will: Hey! Is borace even a word?

Me: -shrugs- I don't know.

Halt: If you ladies would let me get back to poem…

And you should see Will on coffee

It's like he's made out of toffee.

He's all over the walls

And crashing around in the halls

And embarrassing his girlfriend, while she stalls.

His girlfriend's name is Alyss

She deserves to live in a palace

But Will won't propose

He only sent her a rose

So then she stepped on his toes

I laughed.

Now let's get on to Horace

Who can be such a borace.

When we were in Montsombre

And…And…And nothing rhymes with Montsombre

He was acting so cool

'Cause he was out of school

And he wanted me to buy a him pool

The End.

Me: Wow, Halt. That was…deep?

Halt: Yeah, I have lotsa feelings.

Will: Oooo, Sam, what's this

Sam: That's a lawn mower, Will. NO, NO, DON'T TOUCH THAT! YOU'LL HURT YOUR-

Will: OW! MY HAND!

Me: Let's go to the hospital.-sigh- See you next chapter!