Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Pretty please?
Baby Brother
Charlie reflects about his and Don's relationship.
Don, I'm sorry. Sorry that you had to put up with me all your life. Sorry that I always seem to be in the way. Sorry for being your annoying baby brother. Sorry for being born.
I know you never wanted me around. I'm just your pesky baby brother, always in the way. I feel your resentment. I know you don't think that I notice your glares directed at me when you think no one's looking, the words muttered under your breath. That's why I retreated into the garage, into my numbers. I wish things were different between us. I wish we got along better. But we don't. What am I supposed to do about it? If I could, I would give up everything, my intelligence, my numbers, everything, if I thought you would like me better for it. I wish you did like me better. I wish you weren't always angry with me for something I can't help. I wish we got along. I wish I could make you proud of me, just once. That's all I really want. Your trust, friendship, acceptance. Not having to worry that I'm going to make you mad and you'll send me away. You always send me away. I don't want to go, but I do, because I know that if I stay, you'll say something to me, something that I know you don't mean, but the hurt is still there. You hurt me, Don, with your harsh words, with all their sting. I hide from you, from Dad, from your words of hurt, his words of reassurance. I don't need that. I don't need anybody. But I know that's not true. I do need you. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I need you. Like it or not, I'm your brother, and nothing will change that. So try to understand. I'm your baby brother and I need you to be proud of me, to love me, to call me your brother with pride, instead of embarrassment. I need you, Don. I need somebody to be there for me, a friend to lean on. I haven't got that. Right now I'm leaning on no one, on nothing, and I'm scared to death of falling. I need your help, Don. Pull me back from the edge. I'm scared, Don. Help me. I wish I could be sure that you would. Give me your hand, I'm slipping. I need someone to pull me back from the edge or I'm going to fall. I need your help. Help me, Don. I wish we got along better. I wish I didn't feel like I'm slipping away and you're watching me fall with pleasure, all the bitterness that I've seen in your eyes over the years. I wish I was normal. I wish you would help me. I wish everything was normal between us. I wish…