Pilot

"I just can't, Naruto..."

Composure teetering on the edge of a blade, Naruto stood utterly agape, shaking his head at his friend; he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"Stop saying that, Sasuke!" he yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the boy who stood before him. "You know that it's bullshit, and so do I."

"Naruto, please," Sasuke pleaded, defensively and frighteningly shaking his head back at Naruto, searching desperately for anything he could say that could calm his friend's rage. "I…I…"

"Don't you see!? You're doing it again!" Naruto harshly declared, throwing his hands aimlessly into the air around him, startling the fragile boy in front of him even further. Sasuke was trembling, horrified as he felt Naruto relentlessly tear down the final walls of defense that remained decrepitly standing in his soul.

"Stop making all these worthless excuses for yourself! Sasuke! This isn't who you are!" the blonde screamed, a firm tinge of searing desperation scraping through his raspy, weary voice. Taking hold of Sasuke, Naruto shook him as if trying to wake him from a dream...

Then came a moment of burning silence. The wind outside was racing, howling as longing, cerulean eyes trembled before Sasuke's hollow gaze, a glare devoid of life. An eternity had surely passed before the raven-haired boy felt Naruto's hands loosen their fierce grip on his shoulders, the warmth they offered receding from his petrified body as he pulled his arms away.

Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes, detecting a sudden hint of desperation which cried, begged for help. Feeling the tension that consumed him leave his body, Naruto's shoulders sunk as his breathing returned to normal like an ocean in the eye of a hurricane. His lips pursed, and his eyes softened as Sasuke prepared himself as best he could for what would be said next.

"I'm not sure if I can do this any more..." Naruto said solemnly.

Shattered.

"No…please, Naruto," he implored the blonde, feeling his eyes widen and glisten wildly, threatening to release the salted tears that he had been biting back for years. With each passing second, he felt the sensation of his heart being ripped through his chest as it sunk through the floor and down to the depths of the earth. "Please...not you too…"

All was quiet, and Naruto held Sasuke's gaze for a long while, shaking his head softly with disappointment and pity. Completely unmoved by the tears that but a moment ago had just begun to slowly creep down Sasuke's face, and with a heavy heart of stone, Naruto turned to leave.

"I just can't do this anymore, Sasuke," he spoke softly to the floor beneath him, hearing every breath Sasuke took, listening to his faltering voice which longed to speak what couldn't be spoken, and feeling the raven's sorrowful gaze pierce the back of his skull.

"Do what you want...but don't ever think that I didn't try." Naruto said.

Beginning to walk across the room and toward the door, Naruto suddenly felt a cold hand grasp his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. He glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes finding his friend's hand, but absolutely refusing to look fully upon Sasuke any longer. The raven held to Naruto's body as if he were trying with every last fiber of his being to pull him back from plunging off a precipice. Naruto looked away once again, focusing on the cold, dark hardwood floor upon which they stood.

"Please, Naruto," Sasuke begged to the blonde's resolve, "Don't go. You're the...the one friend that I have left."

Hearing the defeated scratch of his throat and feeling the weak and weary desperation laced in the other's voice, Naruto felt his stone heart begin to crumble to pieces. A single tear escaped from his eye as he squeezed both shut, and he felt its burn as it slid slowly down his whiskered cheek.

It would be a tear that Sasuke never knew had fallen.

"I remember my best friend," Naruto said suddenly, his voice sounding like a bell in the deep silence that held the two a moment before, filling the cold, dark room with what would come to echo through their hearts and resonate through their souls for the rest of their lives.

"His name was Sasuke Uchiha, but he died a long time ago." Naruto turned toward him slightly, yet still unable to meet Sasuke's gaze.

"I don't know who you are."

Sasuke's iron grip weakened as he heard his friend's words suddenly take the form of white noise. He felt his body and soul plunge down into a darkness from which he knew he could never return. Naruto, feeling his friend's restraint receding, lightly shook himself from the empty hand that longed for his help. Walking resolutely across the remaining space of the room with tears now streaming freely down his face, Naruto left the home, never looking back as he closed the door which now stood between himself and the best friend that he left in the cold room, lifeless and broken.

One Month Later...

Leading away from a small town, a lonely, decrepit road found Naruto's footsteps crunching through the thin layer of snow that had come to call the cracked pavement home. Journeying away from the place where he attended university, the blonde's destination was well-known to him: a dilapidated little bar which had stood in the same place ever since Naruto could remember. The blonde never cared to complain when the broken-down establishment surfaced as a place for him to pretty much call home these days. The bar itself was little more than a wooden shack and had only a few regular patrons now, which was a shame, really; Naruto found that it was generally warm and friendly inside, complete with a long wooden bar along the back wall and several small tables adorning the loose floorboards found just through the front door.

It had held up through the years though, and now once again Naruto found himself standing before it on this cold December afternoon. Though its rustic charm had become unnoticed by Naruto at this point, its walls stood steadfast against the snow which quietly fell from the gray heavens above. Though empty as he felt at this moment, Naruto couldn't help but recall a passage from a story he had once been forced to read in a high school literature class:

His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

Grasping the rusty metal doorknob, Naruto opened the door to the bar, feeling the ice which glazed the knob sting through the gloves he wore. Stepping inside, he heard the creaky, ancient door close behind him as he let go of it without interest, walking inside as it secured itself into a doorframe which was slightly too small for the door due to the warping of the scratched wood over years of wear and tear. He made his way across the quiet room, leaving faint tracks of melting snow where he walked, finally taking a seat at the bar. He unbuttoned his heavy, black wool peacoat and set his gloves down on the bar. The few patrons that were there barely registered the presence of the twenty-two year old boy who had come in from the cold, his hair lightly glistening from the ice crystals which were melting into the blonde locks that which covered his line of sight. The place was mostly deserted, with two men sitting at the opposite end of the bar and one or two others sitting alone at tables. This along with the howling wind outside, the small radio quietly playing on the other side of the bar, and the overall lack of excitement generated the still atmosphere that Naruto had come to know like an old friend. The bartender looked up at him expectantly from where he had been drying glasses with a small hand towel. Meeting his gaze, Naruto robotically replied to the bartender's stoic demeanor.

"Give me the usual," Naruto said to him before lowering his head, absently watching a drop of water fall from his hair down to the counter.

The bartender nodded with a light smile as he poured out two shots of whiskey and placed them in front of the blonde, who brought his head back up to find the shots sitting there, appealing to him like an invitation. The bartender went back to cleaning the glasses without a word.

The pungent burn of the drink barely registered in Naruto's throat when he threw back the first shot. His mind was empty and his body weary. For awhile now it seemed, he only knew how to do two things: drink and breathe. Hell, the blonde couldn't even recall how long ago he had started drinking this much. He just knew that it hadn't been that long ago, but he could care less to keep dwelling on the subject. It's not like the 'when' mattered to him anyways.

Drink and breathe he thought to himself.

This pattern became second nature to Naruto, but he didn't mind it. Why would he? It was his solace, the solution to quell the pain of all that he had done...and all that could never be undone. Even the very distant wish that he could go back had been buried within in him for what seemed like an eternity.

A moment later, his phone vibrated on the bar. Picking it up, Naruto quickly unlocked the screen, not even sparing the thought of glancing at the image that presented itself on his phone's lock screen. A picture which he had never changed from a long-ago, happier time. Opening the text conversation, it read:

I'll be over in half an hour to pick you up. Be ready to go.

Naruto stared at the message for a long moment with heavy-lidded eyes. Finally locking the phone again, he picked up the second shot of whiskey from the bar and threw it back, letting the viscous fluid slither down his throat. The burn was expressly more potent this time as he set the glass back down on the bar. Withdrawing the wallet from his back pocket, he recovered enough bills to both pay for the drinks and leave enough left over for the bartender to have a two dollar tip. Putting the money on the counter under the weight of the now empty shot glass, Naruto stood up, and once he was clad in his coat and gloves, he departed from the bar.

Naruto's apartment was sparsely furnished, but immaculately clean. Maintaining this status quo had come naturally to him; thanks to his aunt and uncle, he had learned to take care of himself as well as his belongings after his parents had passed away in a devastating car accident when he was just six years old.

But that's the thing about that age. It's one thing if you never knew your parents, but it's something else entirely if you could still remember small bits and pieces of them. Needless to say, it's because of this that Naruto thought about them often. He thought about them now, as he lay alone on his bed in the shadow of his bedroom window on this gray snowy day. In his quiet stupor, the only thing that seemed to be present to him was the ticking clock on the wall. It was as if the universe paused itself to revolve around the damn thing in this very moment. Tick, tock…continuing as it had every second of every day.

What would you think of me now? Naruto asked himself, hoping deep down that they could hear him. What would you say to me?

A moment later, his nightstand lit up from beneath his phone, which he had placed there when he returned from the bar. He shifted to his side and stared at it for a moment before picking it up. There was another text from the same person as before, signaling that it was time for the blonde to drag himself up. He grabbed his coat and pulled it on, buttoning it up over the black scarf, white shirt, and black tie that the blonde had dressed in that morning. Next, he tied his black leather shoes and pulled on this gloves before exiting his apartment, pulling the door shut and locking it behind him.

Outside Naruto's home in the parking lot, Shikamaru leaned against the driver-side door of his car, a matte black 2013 Audi S5. He was dressed remarkably similar to Naruto, but considering the circumstances it came as no surprise, really. When the door opened, he looked up from the charcoal gray pavement and watched as Naruto slowly descended the stone stairs of the apartment building, his eyes resting on the ground in front of him, paying absolutely no mind to the shirker's presence.

It wasn't until he reached the bottom of the stairs that Naruto finally looked up to meet the eyes of his friend, who was now advancing across the snowy parking lot. Upon reaching Naruto, they both stopped for a moment before Shikamaru pulled his hands from his coat pockets, capturing his friend in a warm embrace, which they held in silence for a few moments in the ambience of the falling snow.

Breaking the hug, Naruto looked into his taller friend's eyes, and nodded to him without a word. They both turned to walk back to the car, Shikamaru resting his hand on Naruto's back along the way.

Shikamaru drove out of the parking lot and onto the nearly deserted, snowy street. The ride was silent save for the low sound of the tires treading the snow beneath them and the windshield wipers incessantly going back and forth over the glass, scraping the ongoing snow from their view. After a few minutes had passed, Shikamaru looked to Naruto, who was preoccupied with blankly staring out the window at the snowy hills.

"It wasn't you," Shikamaru said tentatively but resolutely. "You know that."

Naruto appeared to not have heard his friend speak and continued to stare out the side window of the car. Shikamaru kept driving, keeping a single hand on the wheel of the sedan, every so often glancing over to his blonde friend.

"Naruto, you did what a lot of us couldn't," Shikamaru began again. "You saw what none of us could bear to see. You did the best you could."

At that, the blonde's attention was caught ever so briefly as he glanced over to Shikamaru, but only for a second before turning his eyes back to the window.

"No," he said softly. "No, I…I didn't, Shikamaru…"

He slumped back against the seat, saying nothing further.

Shikamaru resigned himself to saying nothing more for the time being. He obviously wouldn't be able to get through to him. Not yet. It was too soon and he knew that. That was the beauty of the friendship the two had, though. They could tell what the other was thinking, what he was feeling. With this philosophy, Shikamaru knew that for now, silence was what Naruto needed.

A short while later, they arrived at their destination: a large garden next to an old stone chapel where only chiseled stones seemed to grow among the frozen trees. The soft snow that had been falling early had changed to small pellets of ice, which were hitting the car as Shikamaru parked parallel to the side of the narrow street they were on. Naruto shifted his gaze across Shikamaru and out his window, suddenly feeling a new wave of despair wash over him. This didn't go unnoticed by the shirker, however.

He looked to Naruto, whose gaze shot past Shikamaru's attempted eye contact.

"You ready?" Shikamaru tentatively asked the blonde who, at that, finally darted his eyes back to meet Shikamaru's. Shikamaru laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder, who in response once again looked away from his friend, centering his hollow eyes down toward his lap. Naruto just nodded to his friend in the driver seat, and without another glance, the two boys got out of the car and made their way into the snowbound garden where the bitter wind was waving the barren tree branches about. In one particular area, a small group of people were gathered around something the two couldn't yet see but was something they would never forget.

As they approached, Shikamaru kept monitoring Naruto like a big brother. To his unsung dismay, the blonde's face held both sorrow and fear, along with everything in between. He put his arm around Naruto, placing his hand on his shoulder to divert his focus for a moment.

Upon approaching the site, Naruto visibly trembled as he grew certain that the time he had dreaded for a lifetime had come. He looked to Shikamaru, who in turn reassured him with his comforting eyes.

"Remember," the other said. "I'm right here with you."

Hearing him, Naruto nodded to his friend, knowing that no matter what, he always knew exactly what he was feeling and exactly how to make him feel better, even if it was just a little. He appreciated it to no end. Right now, however, he couldn't think about that, which he knew Shikamaru would understand; he had something to do: it was time for him...to say goodbye.

They reached the small crowd of people and immediately recognized friends from long ago, friends recently made, and members of family alike. Everyone in the crowd held the same unified demeanor of despair and mourning.

Naruto found himself walking straight into the crowd as if on autopilot, sensing the comforting stares of everyone he knew digging into him from all directions like a thousand spears. He paid no mind to it as he greeted a few of them with hugs and tears.

When it came time to line up, Naruto braced himself for a moment which he would never forget. Shikamaru was beside him the whole way. Together, they selected a rose, and joined the rest of the line to march slowly and agonizingly in perfect synchronization. When it came time for them to go next, Shikamaru put his arm around Naruto once again, and walked up with him as per the blonde's request. He felt Naruto's entire body slightly heave a few times as they walked, his legs trembling, and finally, his hands firmly grasping the freshly-picked rose which glistened with the light coating of ice that had accumulated on its petals.

When they arrived at the slight incline created by a small mound covered in tarp which surrounded the pit that had been dug in front of them, the two paused, feeling the icy wind in their hair and the sorrowful gaze of the entire crowd silently among them.

Without hesitation or warning, Naruto quietly fell to his knees, not even flinching at the contact with the cold snow, ice, and water that raced through the thin fabric of his black slacks. Wiping with his sleeve the bitter tears that now cruelly stung his face, Naruto shakily kissed the rose in his hand, and laid it on top of the pile of other flowers that adorned the casket in front of him, just below a gold plate which had been engraved:

Sasuke Uchiha

Loving Brother,

Beloved Friend.

Upon seeing the plate, there was barely any will left inside Naruto to keep his composure. He stood up, Shikamaru giving him the space he needed. Naruto couldn't remember the last time he felt anything at all, but now…he began to break down. Silently weeping, he squeezed his eyes shut and let the tears fall into the snow at his feet.

A moment later, Itachi emerged from the front of the crowd, approaching Naruto, which the blonde noticed through his tears. He turned slowly to face his best friend's brother, who gazed down at Naruto with comfort and grief in his eyes.

"Thank you for coming," Itachi said.

Feeling more vulnerable than he ever had in his entire life, Naruto opened his eyes, feeling them become cold as he stood, weeping, to face Sasuke's brother. Failing to stop his tears, Naruto reached his breaking point as he surrendered himself, falling into Itachi's arms.

Shikamaru looked upon them and maintained his stoic composure, save for a tear which escaped his eye and trickled down his face, which he made sure to wipe away. He heard Naruto struggling to speak through the sobs which were barely audible from his face which was buried in Itachi's clothing.

"I'm so sorry Itachi...I-I'm so sorry." Naruto whimpered and sobbed heavily through Itachi's clothing. He in turn put his hand on the back of Naruto's head, supporting him as he himself let tears fall.

Itachi embraced him in front of everybody for a good minute as the others began departing the burial site one by one, giving the three of them time to privately say goodbye.

As the two moved apart from their hug, Naruto noticed through his clouded, watery vision someone else coming toward them from about twenty yards off in the distance. Naruto's sorrow slowly shifted to blind hatred as he realized who it was. Noticing this, Itachi glanced over to see what he was looking at. At that moment, he saw his former friend, Kisame, tentatively approaching them through the snow.

Now it was Itachi's turn to have his grief surmounted by pure rage as he quickly marched away, holding a straight face to meet Kisame, not wanting him anywhere near his fallen brother. Realizing what was taking place, Shikamaru quickly left Naruto's side to run after Itachi.

Across the frozen ground, Itachi quickly came within a few feet of Kisame, who looked up at him.

"Itachi, I'm s—." he began but was cut short.

Kisame had been expecting to not be welcomed by Itachi, but he was completely unprepared for the fist that smashed into his jaw, knocking him backwards against his car. A small gasp slipped from Naruto's throat as he witnessed the scene. A second later, Shikamaru had finally caught up to Itachi and grabbed his arm before he could harm Kisame any further.

"Itachi! Stop! This won't bring your brother back!" he yelled sternly.

Itachi closed his eyes to regain his focus and calm himself. He opened them a moment later to hear Kisame speak.

"Itachi, please…" he said.

"Go." Itachi commanded. "Now."

Kisame stood, intending to speak again, but Itachi spoke first, not wanting to hear the other's voice again.

"YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!" he screamed. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Kisame quickly gave up, too frightened to pursue the conversation any further. He complied, getting back into his car and driving off. As he left, Itachi stood, watching the car go off into the distance. He pulled his arm from Shikamaru's grasp and went wordlessly back to Sasuke's grave, depleted of all the energy he had. Resting his head against his brother's casket, he wept.

"Come back to me, please," he sobbed. "Sasuke, please….I need you..."

Naruto spent some more time with Itachi before returning to Shikamaru, who was now waiting within the car, letting it warm up. As they left, the drive was even quieter between the two than before. As darkness quickly fell, the hail had subsided, soft snow returning once again and beginning to gracefully cover everything in sight as it fell from the black skies above.

"I need a fucking drink," Naruto said, turning to Shikamaru from his spot in the passenger seat of the sedan.

Shikamaru, who was in silent agreement with Naruto's statement, looked over to him for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. He flipped on his turn signal to make a right, and in a few minutes time, they pulled up to that same bar which stood along a lonely road, covered in white.

To Be Continued…