When I Look At You

Part 1 of 3

An Instant Star FanFiction

Author: yourxwonderwallx

A/N: In Hey, Sister Tommy never kissed Sadie. He kissed Jude and her parents ended up crashing the party along with Jamie and Kat's late arrival. This is how I see the rest of the long weekend playing out.

Friday:

The sun was hurting Jude's eyes. After the kiss with Tommy and then Sadie interrupting them this weekend wasn't what she'd wanted at all. She'd just wanted to get away and write and reinvent herself and her music and convince Tommy to stay. Sure Jamie and Kat being here she expected but Sadie and her parents, was just too much. Instead of sitting around listening to the laughing and joking Jude ran off to the barn. She just wanted to be alone and even with her family here was no exception.

She climbed up into the hayloft going into the farthest back corner with her guitar and started to strum out the chords to a song she'd just starting thinking of. She grabbed a stray piece of paper and her pen out of her hair and started jotting down lyrics.

She always thought of songs at the worst possible moment and this was definitely one of them. She couldn't help but think of the almost kiss Sadie has walked in on or for that matter Sadie desperately hitting on Tommy. If Jude hadn't known any better the way she was acting made her look jealous and in a way she was because she had a connection with Tommy. She also knew that in the short time they'd known each other that she could see right through his walls and the bullshit with him.

That's why they made great music together but she also knew that she wasn't even sixteen yet and he was twenty-two. His eyes though, they made her stomach do flip flops and his voice made her want to faint. She couldn't help that she was falling for a former 90's boybander, it just kind of happened.

"Jude, you in here?" She heard him call out and she stifled a smile before drying her eyes up and putting the lyrics away.

"Yeah, up here." She called out. She had her back pressed against the wall and she placed her guitar on the ground just as he made his way up there. "Sorry, this is all just too much. I wanted a quiet weekend to work on this song." She said and he gave her one of his smiles that would've made her go weak at the knees if she was standing.

"I get it. You family doesn't trust me." He said he spotted the pen on the ground and the piece of paper she was hiding behind her back. He just coyly smiled at her as she sat down next to her moving her guitar.

"I guess they don't." She said hiding her smile.

Before she knew what was happening Tommy leaned in close and reached over her stomach behind her back to grab her lyrics but before he made off she grabbed his hand stuffing them in the back of her skirt. Tommy climbed on top of her tickling her sides trying to get the piece of paper and Jude's back started to slide down and before she knew it she was lying on the ground with Tommy on top of her.

Jude arched her back a little trying to trick him but his relentless tickling was starting to get to her. She started uncontrollably laughing. "Tommy, stop please." She pleaded and he considered for a second but continued tickling her.

"Not until you give me those lyrics." He sternly said with a smile on his face toying with her.

"Not a chance Quincy." She said.

Their lips were so close to touching which Jude's breath hitch in her throat. She took a second chance and pressed her lips against his, this time he returned the kiss. Jude felt his heart start to race causing her to smile more into the kiss. Her hands fumbled a little but slid his shirt off his shoulders leaving him in a white wife beater.

Her heart started pounding when Tommy braced himself with one hand and his other played with the hem of her shirt. This sent chills up her spine. As they broke the kiss for air Jude bit her lip and looked him in the eyes. She wasn't sure what to do right now but she decided on a bold move and reached down to the buckle on his pants. She hesitated before unbuckling it but she dove in for another kiss.

As she unbuttoned his pants her heart started to race faster when she felt his fingers brushing the inside of her thighs. She felt her center getting wet and hot causing her to moan as his fingers brushed against the fabric of her panties.

She lifted his shirt over his head and threw it across the loft as his lips traveled down her neck and her collarbones causing her to shiver again. Tommy's fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt before he lifted it above her head. Jude felt his lips traveling down between the valley of her breasts and she arched her back so he could remove her bra.

His breath hitched in his throat when he looked at her lying underneath him. She was beautiful. He started trailing kisses down her abdomen and to the waistline of her skirt before sliding it down her creamy white legs. Tommy then made an even bolder move by kissing in between her thighs and then sliding her panties down and he kissed her sex causing her to tremble.

As he parted her southern lips she felt the need to scream his name, which she did ever so lightly. Feeling his tongue teasing and tasting the most intimate part of her body made her eyes roll back into her head as he lightly flicked her clit causing her back to arch and her hips to buck against his mouth.

"Tommy." She said her breath getting shaky as she felt a warm sensation trying to overtake her body. With another flick at her clit Jude went over the edge, which made her eyes roll back in her head and made her scream his name again.

Jude closed her eyes for a second then opened them to meet Tommy's eyes. He smiled into the kiss as he broke it to reach in his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a condom. He gave Jude a reassuring look and she made the move pushing his pants and his boxers down. She opened her legs wide so he could fit in between and he placed reassuring kisses on her lips as she started to tremble.

Tommy took it slow, giving her body a chance to adjust. After a few thrusts he picked up the pace as her pegs wrapped around his waist pushing him in deeper. "Are you all right?" He whispered in her ears and she replied with a kiss on his lips.

Jude had never felt this way before. She'd never done anything like this and it wasn't something she was going to regret either. Jude caught Tommy's grey eyes as they were filled with specks of blue and a look of love and passion. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders holding onto him as he kicked it up another gear.

Instead of screaming his name again she kissed his shoulders and his neck, leaving a mark right behind his right ear. Tommy couldn't control himself anymore. He felt himself about to give in and he couldn't help but admire the beauty of the woman that he was with. His lips met hers again for a brief moment as he felt his release.

He whispered anything and everything of words in her ears as he felt her release about to come with his. Two more thrusts did the trick and Jude bit down on his shoulder to contain her excitement as he felt his eyes roll back into his head.

"That was-" he started to say before he collapsed on top of her and he forced himself to roll over before he crushed her.

"Amazing." She finished. She smiled as his fingers twirled in her hair making her shiver again.

"Jude-" he started to say before she silenced him.

"I'm not pretending this never happened. I can't." She said with tears starting to fall because she knew was he was about to say.

"I wasn't going to say we forget it because I'll never be able to. Jude, against my better judgment I'm falling for you and I can't seem to shake the feelings. If we have to hide from everyone then we will but, this," he said pointing to the scattered and discarded clothes, "crossed a line I've tried not to cross ever since that night at the Vinyl Palace." He finished and she smiled.

She moved closer to him and he took her in his arms and kissed her. "Let the secret affair begin." She whispered in his ear getting up to get dressed at the same time he did. She kept her back to him while they put their clothes back on because she knew they'd never get dressed and everyone would come looking for them.

"Here she said. It's the song I was working on before." She said handing him the paper and he smiled as the read what she'd written so far.

"It's beautiful." He said and leaned in to kiss her again. "Just like you." He added as they pulled apart whispering in her ear causing her to blush.

"Damn you." Was all she said before she kissed him again and climbed down from the hayloft leaving him with her guitar.

Jude headed back to the house and she tried to hide he grin on her face while doing it. "Hey hon, where's Tommy at?" Her mom asked and she shrugged her shoulders before going upstairs to change and take a shower before dinner.

Once she was in the confides of her old room she pulled a pillow to her mouth and started to scream into it. She couldn't believe that had just happened but it did and she was grinning from ear to ear. She looked beside her and she found her journal and started scribbling down the lyrics she'd written before. She was hoping he'd finish them.

Jude quickly grabbed a change of clothes, which consisted of her ratty Kurt Cobain tee and a pair of destroyed denim jeans before running into the bathroom and quickly started a shower. As Jude started her shower her mind replayed the scene at the barn. She quickly blushed and started to think of something else even though Tommy shirtless was going to be a sight she'd never forget.

Jude got preoccupied and freaked out when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her. "What are you doing in here?" She hissed at him and slapped him on the shoulder.

"I asked your parents which bathroom to use and they said this one." He smirked as she glanced at her body.

"Not happening. Sadie is across the hall." She harshly whispered and he smirked.

"That's fine. I'll see you for dinner." He said sweetly kissing her on the lips causing her to blush again. He quickly left the bathroom and went into his room which was right next to Jude's. He knew Jamie was sleeping on the couch and Jude and Kat were sharing a room.

Once he was alone he changed into a pair of dark wash jeans and an old band tee for dinner. He glanced down and it was his autographed Cobain shirt which he knew would make Jude freak out at the sight of it. He looked out his door and saw the bathroom door open, which meant she was out of the shower. He decided to go downstairs and sit outside for a while.

When he got outside and grabbing his acoustic he'd left there. He looked at Jude's sitting beside it knowing that he had the place for it at his house. He started off working on the lyrics that Jude had started earlier to the original song. Then he got sidetracked and grabbed his journal out of his back pocket and started scribbling down some lyrics to a song he could never quite finish.

He started humming to the chords he'd created until he got the lyrics just write and when it was all said and done the song he'd been working on for weeks now was finally finished after everything that had happened today between he and Jude. He knew she was powerful but he never really understood until now how much she had affected his life.

"Whatcha doing?" She asked, making him jump a little.

"You scared me." He said catching his breath and she smiled. "I just finished a couple songs that I've been working on for a while now." He said and she smiled.

"Can I hear one?" She asked him seductively and he just grinned at her.

"Yeah sure." He said almost defeated. He usually didn't let anyone hear his music but she was worth it. She let him see a song that clearly meant a lot before she it's only fair that he return the favor. Tommy made sure the guitar was in tune and he smiled as he started to strum and sing the lyrics to a song that was definitely personal to him.

I feel it everyday it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

It feels like everyday stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to

Once he was done he nervously looked at her. Once she smiled he felt a sigh of relief rush through his body. He noticed that the sun had set and that there was still a orange/pink color to the sky before it settled to black. The moon was full and bright and the wind made it feel calm and peaceful, almost like a beach, which made it the right time to be writing music.

"Tommy, that was beautiful and if we didn't have an audience right now I'd kiss you." She said in a low voice. They both turned their attention to the back porch where everyone was staring at them. Jude smiled as she grabber her acoustic and tuned it and started to play the song they'd come here to write in the first place.

"You're gonna have to play that song on the piano later." He whispered as she was singing causing her to screw up the lyrics. She playfully hit him and he put his guitar down and started to tickle her.

"Stop please." She begged him laughing as he chased her down in the yard. He was holding onto her and had his arms wrapped around her stomach tickling her sides. "What's it gonna take?" She asked him trying to stop laughing.

He finally stopped making them both fall on the ground in laughter. "Payback is gonna be a bitch Quincy." She smirked.

Instead of getting up right away they stayed outside and looked up at the stars and everyone else just let them be. Victoria and Stuart kept an eye on them from the kitchen window and Sadie went to sulk in her room and Jamie and Kat put a movie on. Everyone ate dinner in their respective corner of the house. When Jude saw both of her parents leave the kitchen she turned to Tommy and kissed him. He responded by pulling her close to him and they both had to fight to pull away before they got caught. "Thank you for coming." She said and he just smiled as they finally got up finished the song they'd originally set out to finish.