He had such bright and vibrant orange hair that the sunlight glinted off it and stabbed Iruka Umino in the eyes. Iruka grimaced as he adjusted his green vest over his nightmare black long sleeve shirt. The band over his head seemed heavier and more cumbersome than it usually did. His eyebrows came together, forming an angry, thick black line. This whole week has been hell, and now this! Why can't anything go right...? He sighed, immensely depressed at his lot in life.

After being chewed out by the Hokage for failing another mission, he had been assigned to a stupid class full of dumb children who didn't know the difference between a shruiken and a serrated dagger. Perhaps sensing his reluctance to take the school seriously, the entire class had been in a dazed state of constant boredom for two weeks, and Ituka didn't need chakra to understand that an undertone of rebelliousness could be sensed.

Gum decorated the undersides of the desks like confetti during a party, and once again, Shikimaru was taking control of another student's limbs, forcing the kid to walk on the ceiling. And now some transfer student was ignoring his own teacher? Iruka started walking forward. Hinata was the first to figure out what was going on, and tried to nudge her snoring classmate. Failing at this, she thought to herself, Come on it's not a big deal. I can get over my shyness by just...you know, committing daily acts of friendliness.

Iruka was halfway there.

More and more of the students started to realize something out of the ordinary was about to happen. Shikimaru relinquished control and the kid stuck to the ceiling accidentally released the chakra in his feet, crashing to the ground with a loud thud. Hinata hesitated, then closed her eyes and kicked the sleeping boy in the chair next to her.

He didn't even move in inch.

She covered her face in anticipation as Iruka approached, then hid her face completely as the sound of his footsteps faded away like summer.

Silence.

Then, "What the hell do you think you're doing son." It wasn't a question. More of an accusation. Hinata waited with bated breath, hoping and waiting and wishing for it to be over already. The atmosphere frightened her. A droplet of sweat curled down her scalp, then attached itself to her hair and slipped off.

"You just going to ignore me?!" Hinata noticed Iruka's voice go up an octave and gulped. Silence again. Hinata raised her head. Maybe it's over? She looked up just as Iruka's fist smashed into the top of the boy's head. The smack could be heard several classes over, as many earwitnesses recounted later. She flinched.

Suddenly the entire room grew dark. Hinata strained to see what was happening, then sneezed. When she flicked off the snot that had landed on her arm she realized she had goosebumps.

Iruka thought to himself frantically, I can sense something...but what the hell? I've never experienced such a heavy sensation like this before. Is this chakra?! The hair on his legs and arms stood up and he almost stumbled backwards. His fall stopped. Iruka looked down to see the orange-haired boy's hand clamped down like a vise on his arm.

A presence seemed to enter the room and the air thickened into a viscous-feeling soup. Chills went up the entire class' spines. A girlish shriek split the air.

As if on cue, the boy woke up from his long slumber and raised his head slowly. A creaking sound ensued as his head creeped upward. Iruka wanted to step backwards as, in the back of his mind, he could feel danger. Every fiber of his being yelled at him, warning him to step away. Iruka laughed nervously. "I'm sorry for hitting you, that's just my customary greeting to people I've come to like!"

The head just kept creeping up. In the darkness it seemed that the body was nowhere to be found. Up, up up, the head went up. Then it snapped up again and was face-to-face with Iruka's own. Iruka recoiled at the sight of a white face, a ghoulish white face with two black stripes on either side, recoiled at the crushed lemon yellow pupils that seemed to peer into his very soul and the black hole of an eye surrounding it.

Iruka closed his eyes.

"If there is a god then have him save me..."

Then Ichigo ripped off the mask and yawned. It faded into spirit particles. The sun streamed back in through the windows. Iruka fell to the ground in horror and astonishment. He clutched his own heart and his chest moved up and down. "My bad, Sensei. Thought you were someone else for a second, haha! If I hadn't checked, I might have killed you." Orange hair lit up the room, just like Ichigo's curved smile.

Everyone spent an entire five minutes staring at the boy with the unrelenting grin. Iruka finally calmed down and cleared his throat. Nobody was buying it, but for his sake, the author will pretend that none of the students snickered or openly laughed in Iruka Umino's face. Moving on.

"Well...the Chunin exams are in the works, so be prepared for that. Which basically means they are today. Because no proper teacher ever warns his class of important and potentially life-changing tests. Meet me at the tournament arena in two hours."

"You wanted to speak with me, Lord Hokage?"

Hiruzen Sarutobi was wary of being on the receiving end of his wrath. What he was about to say could possibly be viewed as unforgivable. If Third Hokage fought against the man before him, he believed he would lose - the guy was an absolute and utter monster. If I anger him I could really die. Not even Hashirama himself could defeat this man. "Please...don't unleash your full power unless you believe you are in danger of dying. And even then, control its power."

Pause.

I should take a more dominant stance if I want him to actually listen to me. He sucked in a breath. Come on, he won't get angry you scaredy-cat.

"Don't kill anyone, you upstart, or I swear..."

"...Yes sir."

"We will be having a lottery to choose who will fight whom."

"Isn't that unfair Iruka-Sensei? What if the match ups are between people with unequal power? I think we should- "

"Sakura no one gives a fuck, shut up. The people reading this all hate you, and if they don't then they should. Also, does anyone else have any questions? Besides Sakura." Iruka, satisfied that no one important was objecting, turned away from her and reached into the bowl. Slipping two pieces of paper out of the clear sphere, he read them outline in a deep baritone: "Gaara and Sakura." He smiled. "Would you look at that." Pointing at Gaara, Iruka ordered, "Make me proud son."

Gaara stood languidly in the swirling sand, clothed in all midnight black pants and a short-sleeved shirt that wrapped around a lean, muscular body. A seemingly hollow gourd rested on his back, and a white scarf curled around him.

Sakura could not meet Gaara's eyes.

Iruka announced the countdown, then let his hand drop to the floor, signaling the beginning of the fight.

Sakura immediately bolted away, throwing shruiken over her back. Sand flew out of the gourd and shielded Gaara, making them bounce harmlessly away. Out of breath, Sakura circled around Gaara warily. A large yawn escaped out of the Sand village boy. He did not even turn when Sakura moved out of his field of vision.

He isn't concerned about me at all! He's just playing with me... Sakura whined to herself. Maybe he won't expect me to commit to a full frontal attack! Hah, fuck you Gaara.

Sakura yanked six kunai from her belt and placed three in each hand, running towards Gaara's back. She stopped a foot away from his back, then thrust forward with both hands.

The kunai broke.

Sweat dripped down from the roots of Sakura's hair. She backed away with a deathly pale face and eyes that screamed of fear. Her arms trembled, yet even slapping herself did not cause her mood to change. I can't do this, I-I...don't think that even Sasuke could beat this fiend.

Gaara's hardened skin faded away. He knew without even looking that her will to fight had been broken.

The sand coalesced into a huge fist that was ten feet taller than Sakura, casting a shadow that stretched far behind her. It struck Sakura from below, then, while she was in the air, slapped her down.

Iruka reached out for her chakra and realized it had faded drastically.

Stepping in front of Gaara, even though the child did not look like he was interested in stopping his attack, Iruka looked at Sakura. Who promptly flipped over. She was now upside down.

...What?

Gaara dropped Iruka to the ground. Iruka finally understood what had been happening.

I hadn't entered a set of Inception just now...that fool Gaara picked me up and threw me out of the way!

Gaara's fist of sand gingerly picked up Sakura's limp, unconscious, and fairly unattractive body, then slammed into the ground. Once. Twice. Ten minutes passed before Kakashi, laughing his ass off, rescued Sakura. Because that's what always happens.

Iruka got up and groaned out, "The winner is...Gaara." Then he fell, out and down for the count.

Kakashi grinned. "Guess we need a new announcer."

Anko Miturashi held out the two pieces of paper in her hand and yelled, "Shikimaru!"

Shikimaru woke up, "Yes?"

Anko continued, "And Sasuke."

End of Chapter 1