Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Greenday. Rikki Songfic.
Italics – Lyrics.
Bold Italics – Wishes
Bold – Flashbacks
Normal – Present happenings.
(Sorry its complicated) :P
This is my chance. Probably my only chance. Come on. I can do this. But what if he finds you? Shut up. I can do this. No you can't, what if he notices that you've gone? He will find you. Then he'll punish you. More than the normal daily punishment of existing. Shut up. I'm going to run. I'm going to do it. I will. I will.
Look at him. Just asleep on the disgusting sofa. Alcohol fuelled puke all over the floor – Who's going to clean that up after you've run away Rikki? Empty Tesco Value beer cans all over the floor – Who'll clean that up too? A belt round his waist. His belt. The belt. Suddenly your body starts hurting, memories flash through your mind like some twisted projector at the cinema. Although, that's what you think a cinema would be like. You've never been. It's too expensive, and dad says you don't deserve it.
The skinny child looks at the man on the sofa, then runs out the door, quickly grabbing a faded picture of a woman, that had been haphazardly cellotaped back together. A rip ran straight down the woman's face.
The girl steps out into the rain. She can't remember the last time she'd been outside. A week? Maybe 2 weeks ago? She begins to walk away. She hopes it will make things better.
I
walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't
know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
This black stuff is hurting my feet. I wish I had some shoes. I've never had any proper clothes either. All I have is a pillow case with arm-holes cut into it. I can't remember how long I've worn it for. As long as I can remember. I wonder that when I turn into a big girl, if dad would stop what he does. But he didn't with mummy. What if he makes me have a baby with him too? I don't think I can have a baby yet. I'm 7. I think you can only have a baby when you love someone, and they love you back.
I don't think I'll be able to have a baby.
Nobody would love me.
Dad said so.
I
walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
She woke up to that familiar feeling that night. She prised her eyes open, but closed them immediately after she saw it. Her dad was laying on top of her. He was doing what he used to do to her mum. That's how Rikki came about. Rikki was used to this though. It used to hurt, but nowadays, she didn't feel anything. Her dad said this was how grown-ups loved each other, and if she didn't let him do it, then nobody would ever love her. She didn't fight back, she knew it would only make things worse for her. So she just lay there until he had finished. He put his clothes back on, and walked out of her room.
"Goodnight Rikki," He smiled evilly.
She heard the lock click, as he locked her into her own room from the outside.
I
walk alone
Where
the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks
beside me
I
walk alone
I walk a...
My shallow heart's the only thing that's
beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til
then I walk alone
I'm glad that I've escaped him though. I'm quite proud of myself. I'm going to keep walking for as long as I can. Then, by the time he realises that I'm gone, it will be too late! I'll probably be all the way in.. I don't know.. But I'll be far away! Then I won't ever get hurt every again. Then I can go to school, and learn.
But what if I die out here?
Then I would get to see mummy again, and that would be good. Sometimes I used to wish to die, after one of dads nights. I miss my mum. But I could never figure out how I could make myself die, so I just hoped that Dad would give me a very big beating one night. He didn't.
I'm walking down
the line
Ah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border
line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
"YOU STUPID COW!"
Rikki huddled behind the mouldy sofa, shaking.
"Come out here bitch, take one last look at your mother!"
A 3-year-old Rikki came out from behind the sofa, and looked at her mum, lying on the floor helpless.
"Rikki.." Her mother breathed. "Get .. Out .. Of here .. before .. it's too .. late .. I don't .. want .. you .. to .. go .. the same .. way .. I .. .. .. love-"
"Ah. How sweet." her dad sneered, plunging the knife into her chest. Her turned round and looked at Rikki. "Is it cold in here? Why else are you shaking? Well?!" He turned back and looked at his wife, and spat on her lifeless body. He returned his gaze back on his daughter. "You know what this means, now she's gone.. It's your turn now Rikki .."
His daughter looked at him, the fear evident in her eyes. She knew what this meant.
Read
between the lines
What's f*****d up and everything's alright
Check
my vital signs
His hand pressed against her neck. His drunken mind could only just register the faint throbs underneath her skin. He stood up, and went down the pub. Typical.
I walk alone I walk alone My shadow's the only
one that walks beside me
To
know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk
alone
I walk a...
My shallow heart's the only thing that's
beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
"Hey mummy look!" A little boy would shout.
"What is it darling?" The mum would reply.
"There's a little girl walking down the road on her own! She looks sad mummy.."
"Hello!, Little girl!"
Rikki would then turn around and look at them. She would then be invited in, and given food, and a drink. They would bathe her, and give her fresh clothes. The mummy would brush her hair, and sing her to sleep.
Children are allowed to dream.
'Til
then I walk alone
"Hey mummy look!" A little boy shouted.
"What is it darling?" His mum replied.
"There's a little girl walking down the road on her own! She looks sad mummy.."
Rikki couldn't believe it, her dream was coming true!
"Thomas, get inside quick. Don't look at her. Come inside sweetie, before you catch something. I don't want you hanging around her. Come in quick, she's scum. She's not worth you worrying."
Rikki turned back to look at the road, pretending not to notice.
Ah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah I walk alone I walk this empty street
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk
a...
On the Boulevard of Broken
Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
I keep walking, I don't know exactly where I'm going, but away from him, that's for sure. The road that I'm walking up at the moment is lined with houses on both sides. There are faint lights on in every house. I imagine what is probably going on in those houses. Families, mummies, daddies, brothers and sisters. They are all probably going to sleep, after having a big nice meal with their family. Goodnight hugs and kisses have probably already been given. They will all be getting into their beds, in their lovely rooms.
That are not locked from the outside.
My
shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the
only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will
find me
"Hey look, a new girl! Hello!"
Rikki turned around and looked at the gang of people in front of her – Did they just say hello to her?
"Hi.." She replied, incredibly nervous. She looked at the teenagers in front of her, there were three. Two girls and a boy. The boy had long for a boy blonde hair, and wore rather geeky clothes. One girl had straight blonde hair, blue eyes, and wore athletic type clothes. Whereas, the other girl wore hippy-ish clothes, and had brown hair and brown eyes.
"I'm Cleo, this is Emma, and this is Lewis." The brown haired girl said, gesturing round at the group, who in turn smiled and waved. "We can be your friends, if you want."
Rikki sighed into a smile.
Friends.
'Til
then I walk alone...
"Looks like you are going to have to swim for it Cleo!" A brunette boy shouted
I looked towards the docks and ran. Then without even thinking, I jumped into the boat. A brunette girl screamed.
"AH!"
I got up, and turned around. "You do know we are on a fatal flaw here, we're floating out to sea. Both of us."
I held up the spark plug.
"You took that," She accused.
"Zane Bennett's a pig, anything I can do to get under his skin can't be a bad thing, can it?"
I put the spark plug into the motor.
"Cool, thanks Rikki," I stood up.
"You know my name" I said, astounded.
"Yeah, I have seen you around school. Since you arrived. I mean, I've meant to say hello and everything."
A friend. Not the way I'd imagined it coming about, but a friend nonetheless. I smiled. Life was getting better.