oh, darling,

you're almost

.

S
I
X
T
E
E
N

.

and you

you're running from

innocence

even though you left it behind sososo

long ago

with a pine tree

up on a hill

in a safe place

which kinda feels

like

hell

now

.

i guess you're stuck

in the giant

contradiction

that

[most]

people call

LOVE

.

but what

[most]

people don't know

is that your love?

.

he is no

dashing

e

(oh, don't you want that)

.

guess what?

he

is

the

broken

l

-and he's asking,

what's your vice?-

it's supposed to be exciting

you know

(being

s-i-x-t-e-e-n)

.

but see

you don't get

the party

.

no no no

{that's not how it works}

you don't get the party

you don't

even

get

the

day

.

you get the bright stars

[[[full of the girl you hated]]]

.

you get the little sister

(((the one who you missed so bad)))

.

you get the annoying cousin

{{{why does your whole life feel so fricking funny?}}}

.

you don't get the boy

isn't that

how

fairytales

are supposed

to e/n/d?

you don't want

to be an

i~m~m~o~r~t~a~l

but it's either that

or

damnation

[for all of eternity]

choose choose choose

.

life sucks

you know?

it reallyreallyreallyreally does

but our life?

yeah, we break even that normality

think about something

if you look into the chasm

long enough

it will look back at you*

.

well, thalia

baby

you've been looking into

the

deepdarklostevil

for way too long

way-way-way

too/too/too

L

O

N

G

.

oh darling

i

want

to

fall

.

.

.

[guess what]

i'm a bit tired

of our nothing

we are nothing

i've lived for

sixteen

years

{well a bit more, don't count the tree}

already

.

i'm gonna live

for

forever

ever after

.

-(how many years?

an eternity?)-

.

but we're not sixteen

~aren't you, like,

twenty-something?~

nonono

i'm not sixteen

i'm never gonna be

sixteen

i'm fifteen

forever fifteen

[forever f**king fifteen

instead of a

surviving s***ty sixteen

why

…

a

r

e

…

w

e

.

.

.

these pieces of a heart?]

.

we should be together

together forever past never

.

oh sweetie

why can't i just be

sixteen?

things just went down

the worstworstworst

road

we kinda winded

()()around()()

love

l-o-v-e

love

l/o/v/e

l.o.v.e

love

l~o~v~e

[[guess we went

right

instead

of

left.

isn't

that

right?

((oh luke baby

aren't you so funny?

well nobody

NOBODY

cares, darling))]]

.

i'm so sick

of the startling

scary

reality

that's

r

i

g

h

t

in front of us

.

us?

youyouyou

mememe

that broken

together

forever

heart

dreams that we lost

when we floated up

into

the clouds

~w~e~l~l~, our souls went

not us

we aren't gone

not/not/not/not yet

.

maybe someday

the dust

will roll away

.

until then we're stuck

(contradictions that'll last till the end . . . . . . )

.

*quote loosely by Friedrich Nietzsche

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU EVERYBODY! Commence the long note . . .

Exactly a year and a day ago, I joined FF . net. Exactly a year ago, I published my first story! It's my FF birthday.

I've gotten really far as both a person and a writer in these twelve months. I have so so so many people to thank, so here's to the big ones (I care about all of you, though!)

DRAKONOWL21195, for being my first FF friend and actually one of my closest friends in the real world, too, even though we've never met.

THELITTLEDEFORMEDONE, or JAKE. You're awesome. Coffee is awesome. Did I mention the coffee? :) no but seriously thanks for being so funny and always helping me through blocks and stuff.

OREOCAT155338. My first reviewer and a great supporter of Excuse Me?, one of my worst stories.

KORI A. GRAYSON, a great friend and supporter.

EEVEELUTIONS ARE AWESOME, for being supportive, a wonderful reviewer and writer, and generally epic.

DOYOUEVERWONDERWHY, a fellow angster.

HOBBITOFROHAN, wonderlandiful writer who seriously needs to get more credit and who is basically pretty cool.

ANIMALJAM, for being a completely dedicated thoughtful reviewer and an awesome writer, too.

PSYCHONERDGIRL, also an epic reviewer :D

KOOLKAT0207. We haven't talked in a super long time and all, but you were super supportive.

E. DARKBOW. An excellent rant buddy.

ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER COMMENTED AND SUPPORTED ME WITH MY REVIEW CAMPAIGN. I'm so glad that people are hearing my voice and helping me revive Percy Jackson. The series deserves to live. It's the one of the only things keeping a lot of us from falling apart.

GUESTS. I can't personally thank all of you, but you've all given me so much support and I'm very thankful.

ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER READ MY WORK. I know that all my actual descriptive writing is kinda awkward, but anybody who has ever read my work . . . thank you.

Note to my new readers, if there are any ::: anything written before October 2016 is trash. No exceptions.

My resolution of the FF new year—I'm going to try to write longer things. I mean. poetry is gonna be short, still, but I'm going to try to write more oneshots. Everything I write is pretty short . . . but still. I should try harder.

I'm currently on the author alert list of fifty people (person per story :)), and on the favorites list of 49. If you'd like to be number 50, the button is . . . . somewhere down there.

I'm honestly so happy that people care enough to read my wretched angsty writing. I'm not stopping anytime soon, I swear. I might take longer breaks, though. No new stories everyday. FF . net is starting to annoy me with all the glitching.

This one is for you. They all are for you. All the ones who have supported me. All the ones who will. Thanks for always helping me out in dark times.

Don't think I'm leaving anytime soon, people. I'm . . . 12. I'll stay on here for at least five more years. There are plenty of more stories coming. More angst.

Thanks for everything,

WGG

(And if you've read through the gigantic author's note, thanks too.)