This was a great summer. Even though Lindsay was stuck at home grounded until school starts, it was all worth it. Oh so worth it. She sucked on her pencil daydreaming about all the fun time she spent with Kim following the Deadheads. Sitting on her bed now, in her parents' house, with the sound of the video games heard from her brother's bedroom next door, she felt happy. Excited. Alive. And she did not even need to get out of the house that much. She spent 2 weeks touring around the country, sleeping in tents and twice!-Under the star-lit sky. Even sleeping in the old hippie van, after spending all days outdoors, was not too bad. She felt lightheaded and a little dizzy. Maybe from all the fresh air, maybe from the feeling of freedom, maybe from the weed – okay, maybe that was it, but also all of these factors combined. She knew what she wanted to do now. She did not need to get into a good school, get student loans, get a good job and all of these things she is expected to do right after high school. And later on, she did not have to find a stable but temporary job, find a good husband and then abandon any attempts on building a career so that she can have children and live in a picture-perfect Midwestern suburban bungalow. It might be good for some people, but not for her. There are, in fact, other options. She knew it all before, of course, but she did not realize it quite so fully until she actually saw the other ways people lived and talked to them. She did not have a definite plan yet either and it was okay. She did not have to have everything figured out at the age of 17. She can take a gap year after school, travel, try different jobs, see what it's like out there in the real world and make up her mind when the time comes. Or she can go to school and only study the things that she actually cared about. Like art, culture, music, international studies. She was giddy just thinking about all these options, she did not even want to decide anything, she was enjoying it way too much.

But right now, being at home, with all the time on her hands, she was quite content. She sighed, put the pencil down along with her blank notebook and got off the bed. It was a quiet summer evening – with her window wide open she could hear the subtle chirping of tiny birds on the tree in her front yard and she could smell the fresh evening air. She stretched and came closer to the window, leaning against the windowsill. Why was she so worried the same time last year? So what this is her senior year coming up? She is only 17, her whole life ahead of her. She needs to enjoy it now, without putting the boundaries and regulations on her own self. She can do whatever she wants, date whoever she wants and explore the world to its fullest.

She thought of the guy she met during the tour with whom she went out for a little bit. He was a great guy and very fun to be around, but even though he was hitting on her pretty hard, in the beginning, he either lost interest very fast or was just acting very aloof and distant by Lindsay's standards. Either she made him bored this fast, or he was just not that into her, despite his words. Or maybe she just wasn't used to guys she dated being aloof around her? Nick was so into her when they went out, she thought she wanted to move to a different state. But now looking back at his behavior from a new perspective – having had short (but nonetheless) relationship with another guy – Nick was rather sweet and simply acted following his emotions. He wasn't that experienced after all, and the experience he had before her was not that great… Lindsay shook her head a little bit – there is no way she is thinking about Nick again. There is no point – he was still with Sara, as far as she knew, happy and over her. Although she could not really understand what these two had in common, Nick did seem to be spending a lot of time with his girlfriend this summer. He took a 2-weeks long trip to visit his brother in Ohio, but she barely saw him even after he got back. Assuming that he was hanging out with Sara, Lindsay did not pry. She wanted to focus on her own interests right now. She wanted to learn to play guitar. She wanted to create art in different shapes. She wanted to travel and meet new people. Everything else is secondary right now.

"Pss" the sound came from the bush beside her window. Lindsay hung over the windowsill to look to the side of the house.

"It's me, are your folks asleep?" a girl's voice came from the bush.

"Yeah I think so. Or almost," replied Lindsay, smiling.

"Awesome," Kim came out of the bush, peeking inside the room through the window, "What are you up to? Wanna hang out?" she did not wait for Lindsay to reply, but leaned on the windowsill, looking up to the sky dreamily.

"Yeah, in a little bit. Just want to make sure they're out," Kim might have been not listening.

"What are you up to?" Lindsay smiled, looking at her friend. She recognized that smile on Kim's face. It meant the girl was happy, but also was up for no good.

"Oh, just thinking…"

"About…?" Lindsay thought she might know what it was about, but did not really want to know the details.

"It was awesome, you know. I can just tell that our relationship went to a whole new level, in like, a day!" Kim was beaming excitedly.

"Well, you only saw him for like, a day… and then talked on the phone," Lindsay was not too sure that could actually be enough to build up any kind of relationship, let alone romantic. But Kim was as certain as a 17-year-old girl can be when she has a huge crush on a boy older than herself.

"We had this a-amazing conversation tonight about, you know, everything, and it was... I mean Daniel could never talk like that about, you know… that."

"Like what?"

Lindsay did not really want to know, she had a suspicion that she'd prefer to keep this information between Kim and her crush, but she knew for sure that if she does not let Kim talk about it now, there will be even more to hear later.

"I don't know, he was just so open, and we just talked about everything, and about how we feel about, you know?" Kim pushed her hair out of her face, sighing, "I wish I was still on the tour, or wherever it is that he is in right now."

"Well, maybe you guys can keep in touch, you know. You're already kinda doing it."

"Yeah, but I'm afraid if we don't see each other, the time will pass and we'll loose connection, you know?" Kim was frowning now, clearly concerned about her relationship.

Wow, she is pretty serious, Lindsay thought, almost surprised. She was under the impression it was just a fling, that they will return to their hometown and Kim will get back together with Daniel and forget about the other guy.

"Maybe it can stay as this incredible summer fling you'll remember about till you're an old lady," Lindsay said, half-serious.

"Yeah right!" Kim laughed. "Like I'm gonna turn into some old lady! Live fast die young, woohoo!" She threw her hands in the air like she was at a rock concert, but Lindsay shushed, laughing.

"Shh, don't wake up my parents!" She swung her leg over the windowsill and got out, landing on the ground outside her house with a soft thud. "Let's get outta here!"

"Yeaaah!" Kim rolled her jacket sleeves up and jogged towards her car, humming a Who song out of tune.

Lindsay closed her bedroom window gently and followed her friend towards the street. The air was cool and fresh, the night was young and their friends, she assumed, were waiting.

"Wanna go see what the guys are doing at the parking lot?" Kim asked when they both got inside of her Gremlin.

"Sure," Lindsay shrugged, "How's Daniel dealing with the cold shoulder you're giving him?"

"Pff," Kim started the car and drove off, without bothering to put on her seat belt. "I don't care about that dude, he can do whatever he wants. I just know once the school starts he'll crawl back, but I am just not that interested anymore."

Lindsay knew it was probably not entirely true, but did not say anything. She liked sitting on the passenger side of the car, looking on the road and listening to her friends talk. She did not really want to answer, though. Kim knew it by then, too, so she continued:

"I mean, if he was dating someone that'd probably piss me off, but I know he's not, so whatever. Nobody but us is in town anyway, we're the only losers stuck here."

Lindsay nodded, agreeing. It's true, everyone she knew from school besides the Freaks was out of town with their families. But she also knew for sure that these kids were bored to their bones, while her gang had the time of their lives just a few weeks ago, so it was not too bad being back now. Besides, no one will accidently catch them trying to get into a bar or anything like that. Their loneliness had its perks, really.

"There they are," Kim rolled down her window and yelled, sticking her head out, "Hey losers!"

Lindsay saw Daniel's car parked at the far corner of the parking lot next to a boring chain mall. Ken and Daniel were sitting on the hood of the car, chatting with Nick and Sara standing nearby. Lindsay cringed a little, realizing that she is going to have to hang out with Sara, too, tonight. She did not expect Nick to be there, let alone bring his girlfriend. But it was still pretty early, so maybe they will leave soon? Does Sara even hang out after dark?

Kim parked the car next to Daniel's and opened her door, screaming jokingly at Ken, who was eating chicken wings out of a bucket. Lindsay hesitated a little before opening her door and getting out of the car to face her friends. Chill, she thought, Sara is cool, you've known her since elementary school, you were even friends at some point.

"Hey, guys! How - How's it going?" Nick greeted them, smiling as usual.

"Could be better," Kim smirked at Sara, "what's she doing here?"

"Hey, Kim, be nice," Lindsay finally got to the hood of Daniel's car too and leaned against it. Nick sighed. Sara looked lost.

"Oh come on," Kim jumped up a bit and sat on the hood of the car, too, just in front of Daniel.

"Yeah, Kim, she is my girlfriend, so be cool, alright?" said Nick, and a sudden feeling of deja-vu came upon Lindsay. She blinked a few times and looked away.

A few minutes of awkward silence followed, while Ken was chewing his chicken, Sarah looked like she wanted to run away, Nick examined his shoes uncomfortably and Kim lit a cigarette.

"Well, this is fun," Ken noticed sarcastically.

"You know what guys, I think I'm gonna head home," said Sara. "My mom and dad are gonna be worried."

"Yeah I'll walk with you," said Nick quickly and waved at his friends.

"Wow, what a knight in shining armor," Kim laughed as the couple walked away.

"Come on, Kim, he'll be back, you know it," Daniel said, exhaling a cloud of sweet-smelling smoke.

"Does she always leave at 11 or something?" Lindsay asked, curious. She did not even have a chance to feel bad for not talking to Sara.

"Yeah like, every day. Curfew or whatever," Kim laughed again.

"Yeah I think their relationship consist of dance practice and half an hour hang out in the evening, that's all," Daniel frowned, "Dude needs to end it, and soon."

"Why?" asked Lindsay without thinking. The gang laughed bitterly, "Seriously, didn't you kind of feel the same way about me in the beginning, too? Give her a chance, will you?" Lindsay suddenly felt the urge to defend Sara.

"Yeah, Linds, it took both Nick and me to keep you in the group, but I ain't sticking up for miss Disco Queen and Nick does not seem to be up for the job, either. Chill, smoke a bit," Daniel extended his arm, offering Lindsay a wrinkled joint. She took it, deep in thought, and sat on the hood of Kim's car.

"Where's your tuba girl, Ken?" asked Kim, changing the subject.

"Band practice," Ken looked at his watch, "Should be done now. Maybe I should go see her," he thought for a second, picking up another chicken wing. "Or later."

"How about some Whooo?" said Daniel, reaching in through the open window to turn on the stereo in his car. The soft sounds of music seemed to have made everyone shut up for a few minutes, thinking their own thoughts. Daniel looked at Kim, Kim smoked, looking up at the sky, Ken ate the wings, chewing absent-mindedly, and Lindsay looked at the blinking old street light, thinking about how things change and people change. She rolled the joint between her fingers, not daring to light it up. She was always hesitant to take the first drag, but once she did, she enjoyed it. It did not come to her right away, but with practice – ha! – she finally saw what Nick and others saw in it. It really was fun, in moderate amounts.

"Hey, you're back," Lindsay startled at the sound of Daniel's voice. Out of nowhere, Nick appeared from behind Kim's car and leaned on it next to Lindsay. "How's your lady?"

"Okay I guess," Nick shrugged, "You guys didn't have to be such jerks. She has a disco competition tomorrow, so she is nervous as it is and she needs to practice…"

"I'm out," Ken jumped off the car and pushed the bucket of wings into Nick's hands. "See ya."

"Right, awesome," Nicked looked distraught, and Lindsay suddenly remembered about the joint in her hand. Without saying a word, she handed it over to Nick.

"Thanks," he smiled sadly, "That's what I need, have not had one in like, a week!" – he reached into his pocket and pulled out a gas lighter.

"She's got what you need," Kim smirked, and received a soft kick from Daniel.

"Oh hey, almost forgot, You guys want some beer? Nick's brothers left a keg in his basement, so we moved it to my car the other day so his Dad doesn't find it," Daniel jumped off the car and opened the trunk.

"Awesome!" Kim followed, throwing away her cigarette.

"Oh, right," Nick smiled uncomfortably and handed the joint back to Lindsay, "You'll pass?"

"I'll pass," Lindsay confirmed, nodding, and accepted the joint. She dragged a bit and held her breath for a few moments before exhaling. Not that she was against drinking, but she did not like the smell of beer. So much has changed since last year, she thought, looking at her friends with red plastic cups, pouring beers and cheering each other. She took another drag and felt better almost instantly.

Next chapter coming soon!