THIS IS SET IN THE PRESENT ERA. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Also, I apologise for the terribleness. I'll try harder next time.

Sitting in the library alone was quite a boring thing to do, Tonks was just realising. The most logical option would be to get up and find someone to talk to, but she couldn't quite be bothered.

Thankfully for her sanity, the entertainment came to her instead. Harry had just wandered in, looking quite bored himself. She resolved to talk to him.

"If you were a Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean, what flavour would you be?"

"Brussels Sprouts. Then nobody would ever eat me, because no-one likes them."

"I like them!" Tonks said, insulted. "I think everyone secretly likes them, but society doesn't allow them to express that. It's very sad."

Harry didn't reply. Tonks tried again.

"Did you know that Draco Malfoy is my cousin?"

"Ew," said Harry absentmindedly. After a moment's consideration, he screwed up his face. "Ew," he said again, this time with more force.

There was another silence.

"I farted," said Tonks cheerfully.

Harry sighed. "Have you been eating beans again?"

Tonks nodded sheepishly.

"Sirius says you need to stop eating beans because we're running out and you've become unhealthily addicted to them."

"Does he know the word 'unhealthily'?" Tonks said interestedly.

Harry gave her an odd look. "Yes…"

Tonks shrugged. "He must have learnt some new words in Azkaban. Come on, ask me a question now."

"Why do I exist?"

Tonks patted him on the shoulder. "Your mummy and daddy interacted."

Harry nodded. "I knew that, thanks."

Tonks regarded him with suspicion. "How?"

"School."

"What's the muggle schooling system like, then?"

"Well, you start off in Nursery where you do nothing, really, just a lot of colouring. Then you go into primary school when you're four and start in Reception, which is kind of the same as Nursery, only we learnt the alphabet. We then went into year one, where we learnt how to read and write. You keep going in primary school up to year six, which is when you're eleven. Muggles can then apply to go into three secondary schools, in preference order, and then a select number can go into each school, depending on how big the school is. You then continue on into year seven, up to years eleven and twelve where you take your GCSEs – they're kind of equivalent to OWLs. You then chose whether to stay on for two additional years or leave school and start working immediately. If you chose to stay on for the extra two years, you take your A-levels and are then eligible to go into university and get a degree. You don't need to take your A-levels to be able to go to college, though."

Tonks's brow furrowed. "What's the point of going to university?"

"You can get better jobs," Harry told her.

There was a silence. A cricket happily chirped from the inside of a book.

"…I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Shall we play Monopoly?"

"I think Crookshanks ate the iron, and I want to be an iron. Actually, I'll be the dalek."

"The dalek?"

"The thimble."

"The thimble?"

"Look, let's just play."

"I'm confused."

"Congratulations."

The schooling system described is the schooling system I am going through. It is true in my area in Britain.

Please review!