But they know full well
It's not hard to tell
Though my heart is breaking
I'd give the world for that moment with you
When we thought we knew
That our love would last
But the moment passed
With no warning, far too fast
He's not here anymore. He's gone, so many millions of miles away, so many days and weeks and years away. She knew this was coming, but she didn't think it would be like this. She knew the love they had couldn't have lasted forever. It was too fast, too fiery to be sustained. She was his cherished secret, she was his daydream, she was his distraction. She was his forever, but he would never really be hers. She'd given herself to him freely, but he couldn't give himself to her like that. He belonged to someone else, some other woman who she knew couldn't love him the way she did. Yet all the same, Sarima was his wife and she was merely his mistress. So she knew their love was temporary, but the loss of him still shocked her.
She never thought she would lose him because he had died. Would it hurt as much if he had simply left her of his own free will? It couldn't be worse than this. The rejection would sting, surely. But if he was happier that way, she could be happy. If he was safe, she could be even happier. If he could be safe and happy with his cold children and colder wife, she wanted nothing more than for him to leave her.
Seeing him lie in the middle of the floor hurt, his blood seeping into the floorboards, into the coarse fabric of her skirt, even into her skin it seemed like. His body is still warm, even if it no longer holds life. His lips don't respond when she runs her fingertip over them and his hand doesn't squeeze hers back.
She knew it would end. She knew she wouldn't have him forever. Yet the thought of one day having a happily ever after had given her joy and comfort. It wasn't to come, but that served no surprise. Of course it wouldn't work out for her, nothing ever did. Yet the loss still shocked her.
She pressed her lips against his cooling forehead and kissed her hope of a fairy-tale ending goodbye.
You and I
We've seen it all
Chasing our hearts' desire
But we go on pretending
Stories like ours
Have happy endings