Just Say Please

Whoever invented the concept of pain in the ass little brothers, I'd give them a medal and then kick his ass… Then probably give them a big assed hug. That's how I usually feel when it comes to my pain in the ass little brother Sam. He's my whole world and has been since Dad handed him off to me when he was a six month old baby; the night our mom died. Then I get the most gorgeous healer who loves everyone but hates herself that has become the sister I can mess with but protect and with all the crap we've been dealt with and me being the dick of century recently, the three of us are all we've got and I refuse to give up as far as Sam is concerned.

It was a last minute thing to learn that the trials were going to kill Sam and I'm going to stretch it and say that they would kill her too; if not then physically then by heartbreak. The damn bond thing that I don't understand but feel good about because they are… was… is happy and that is important. I saw its strength when she dared to stand between me and Sam and that was a first for me and I knew that she knew this was end but she let me speak.

I managed to convince Sam to stop and let it go and he did but it seemed like a waste because he ended up in the hospital and then Angie collapsed. The long and short of it was that Sam was dying and she was going to though the doctors said there was nothing wrong with her. I knew what it was and I had hoped that she would be there in Sam's head and convincing him to come back and fight and maybe work her healing mojo. I was wrong.

I was so dead wrong about her and I was and still am a little pissed that she let Sam decide to take a long walk. Ezekiel said as much when he assessed hers and Sam's conditions. If there was one thing I got right was that they were in the same room and even acknowledged that they were married; I still can't believe that they kept that from me for so long but I get it. Anyway the angel that answered my call for help said that Sam was bad and she was just as bad; like she was going along with it. Actually he said that she was doing nothing but being a presence inside of Sam.

You know it never occurred to me that she was tired of everything and that the only thing holding her here was me and Sam. I mean I've seen her and how she fought tooth and nail to save our asses, her retaliation and everything, which is damned scary now that she learned a few things, and it never occurred to me that she would get tired of it. This was what that witch warned us about when she turned Angie into her four year old self. We got it but I think I missed the train again and I can hear her saying that I didn't. I did Angie so bite me.

Now as I sit and look at her staring at me, I can see that she might want to but I can't tell. All I can do is appeal to her to help me heal Sam. I know she understands what I am trying to ask her and yet I get the distinct feeling that she might refuse; I think she is pissed at me for what I did. I know she remembers everything about the hospital because I can see it in her eyes. No amount of Ezekiel's angel mojo could make her forget if she didn't want to forget.

Ezekiel said that he could heal Sam from within but it was going to take longer than necessary because he was injured too. He also said that the damage was worse than he imagined and that his power might not be enough. He suggested that I appeal to a healer and not just any healer but someone of Angie's caliber. I didn't want to ask it of her since she had gone through enough and she still looks like hell; the sick shadows are prominent even though she looks a little better. Deep down I know that if I don't ask… I don't want to contemplate it.

She is different. I know this because she seems distracted and I wonder if an angel possessing Sam has anything to do with it. I do know though that she is pissed and I don't care and I welcome it. I know she is listening to me as I ask her to help Ezekiel heal Sam.

You are asking me to help you in something that Sam may not want to do.

You're damn straight I am asking you. I am asking because honest truth is I can't imagine life without either of them. I understand if they want to go but I'm hoping more along the lines of old and grey and not because of this. I know that you can live longer than me and Sam Angie but… I want you to have a shot at that brass ring or whatever the hell that phrase is. You never really had the time you should've when you and Sam hooked up. This is the damn light at the end that Sam was talking about before.

I can understand why Sam hates that look she gives. As she's staring at me after I plead my case, I feel like the other shoe is going to drop and she might say no. To be honest she has every right to say no and if it is because of me I get that. I was an ass to her and Sam let me know it by not giving much in details when she was hurt and acting like a guard dog against me. I just hope and I know she wouldn't say no just to spite me. She had never been petty with us.

If I do this, Sam will know something is up if I try to heal him.

She may have said if but in my book that is close to a yes but for Sam's sake and for Ezekiel's peace of mind, it has to be an absolute yes. As I look at her I know she is thinking of how this is going to work. She has never liked it when I lied to Sam and she didn't like it when she kept secrets from him either. She doesn't want to lie to him. She needs some reassurance and I know that I am probably the last person that can give it to her but it is all I can do. I look at her and ask if she can do it when they are asleep like she did with Sam's crumbling wall.

It was not the best thing to say since it meant that they would be sleeping in the same bed and I'm sure she'd be reluctant to share Sam that way. Sam wouldn't understand her reaction and then get the hurt look because of it. It is complicated and I wish it weren't. I keep going and tried to make it seem like the angel wasn't going to be there because…

What's the use? She's not going to buy it. She may be willing to help but she wasn't going to buy my words. And I'm in total agreement about privacy in the bedroom so I get it. Hell they probably had fun in their dreams so I get it. I told her never mind and that I would find someone else.

Still seeing me as someone to throw away?

That remark hurt and I knew she was bringing up this past year. I did brush her off and left her out in the cold. Looking at her, all I see is that hurt look. She is genuinely hurt that I don't want her around and that is not true. I just don't want to put her through something that is going to make her uncomfortable and I say that to her because she is my sister and sister-in-law and all I get is that look again.

I'm not a patient guy and anyone could tell you that, even Sam. Yet I am prepared to wait until hell freezes over for her to say 'yes' or 'no'. I am even willing to beg but I hope it doesn't come to that. This is for Sam and she knows it and it is for her and I'm sure she doesn't see it yet. It feels like a long night ahead while I wait and I know it is worth it. I manage to say one last word, "Please."

I'll do it.

I never doubted that she would help. If it involved Sammy she would be the first to get into the fray. She would do the same for me sure but it wouldn't be the same. It doesn't matter. She is going to help Sam. The funny thing is that Sam has always been nagging me to ask her when I want something from her. He's been right so many times with that one. All I had to do was just ask.

A/N: Just Dean's thoughts about asking Angie to heal Sam after pretty much yanking them both back from the brink of death. Enjoy.