Okay, this is my first Portal fanfic, as well as my first time writing fics on a Mac and this "TextEdit" thing seems to be the closest thing they've got to Word. I guess it'll have to do for now. All the characters are human and have human names. Their Canon core names are nicknames, so they'll be calling each other by those names. *shrug* So, yeah, High School AU. Yaoi. Crack couples. Lemons in later chapters. The works. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: Portal/Portal 2 owned by Valve. I own nothing, even if the Cores are human!

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Summer had ended and school had begun. With the recent move over the summer, I found it hard to make friends, seeing as there weren't many kids my age in the new neighborhood. And then I met Dora McCormith, otherwise known as Curiosity personified. We got along like binary star systems and we soon became great friends. She went to Johnson Middle School, and would soon go to Johnson High, where I would be going.

Oh, I should introduce myself now, huh? My name's Neil Corestrum, and I like Space. My favorite thing about Space is Space and I am the best at Space. So, of course, my nickname is Space.

Now that that's out of the way, Curiosity and I were ready to begin our first day as freshmen at Johnson High. Upon entering the building, we were greeted by a brown-haired boy wearing glasses and dark blue and silver clothes. "Hello" the boy said in a British accent. "My name's Wheatley."

"I'm Dora and this is Neil!" Curiosity spoke up for me. "We're new here."

"That's cool. You two mind if I show you around?" Wheatley asked.

"No, it's fine." I told him.

"Great, follow me!" Wheatley marched into the hallway. "So, I'm going to introduce you to some well-known people around here." he pointed to a guy wearing a green varsity jacket and cap. "That's Rick. Star athlete and a complete meathead to boot." Wheatley rolled his eyes. "Brags a lot, thinks he's a ladies' man." Then he pointed to a guy in purple wearing glasses. "Craig. He knows a lot of facts and he's probably the smartest guy in school, but he comes off as a bit…odd sometimes His nickname is Fact, actually. The girl next to him is Bethany." he gestured to a girl in blue talking to Craig. "She's just as smart as Craig, but only seems to put that knowledge toward baking for some reason. That's why her nickname's Cake." he shrugged. "And that's about everyone. Now I should show you where the auditorium is since there's going to be a back-to-school assembly."

"Are you sure there's not anyone else we should keep an eye out for?" Curiosity asked. She enjoyed meeting new people.

"Well, there's Mike, but you wanna avoid him. He's got a major anger problem and would probably kill you both if you so much as look at him funny. In fact, Anger is his nickname. As you can imagine, he's gotten into several fights. He wears all black and has red eyes. You can't miss him." Wheatley explained quickly just as the bell rang. "Oh, the assembly's starting! Follow me!" he called as he sped into the crowd.

When the assembly began, a lady in white (I assumed this was principal Gladys) stepped up to the podium and started giving a speech about something. I quickly began to zone out, but felt a nudge on my arm. Though I figured this person nudged me by accident, I turned to see who it was. A boy, who looked a couple years older than me, wearing black with a bored expression on his face. I turned to Curiosity. She cocked her head to the side. "What?" she whispered.

"Should I say something?" I asked her.

"To who?"

I nodded in the boy's direction.

"Hm, I don't see why not. If he wants to be friends with us, that'd be great!" her eyes lit up at the possibility.

I tapped the guy on the arm. He glared at me with crimson eyes before looking back toward the stage. I tapped him again, this time earning a glare and a low growl. "Um..hi!" I began. "My name's Neil and I like Space."

He rolled his eyes. "My name's Mike and I don't give a sh*t. Now stop talking."

Curiosity tapped my shoulder. " I heard him say his name was Mike. Didn't Wheatley say that guy had anger issues?"

"He did." I replied. "But, maybe we could try to take his mind off being mad."

"Does that work?"

"I dunno. Should I try it?"

She shrugged. I turned back to Mike. "So, this speech is, um, really long, huh?"

"Shut up." he growled.

"Are you just in a bad mood 'cuz it's Monday?" Curiosity asked. Mike flipped her off.

"Um, a little harsh, man." I pointed out.

"Look, will both of you just shut the f*ck up? You're annoying as hell and it's pissing me off!"

We both shut up after that. I was pretty freaked and Curiosity looked like she was going to cry, but she didn't. At least not until we were in the hall.

We saw Mike again at lunch. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for making my best friend cry. Wheatley told me not to bother him again, unless I want to die. Curiosity told me it was no big deal, but I wouldn't have it!

I slammed my lunch tray across from the black-haired boy. "Just who do you think you are making my friend cry?"

"I thought I told you to leave me alone, you little twit!"

"And I will when you apologize to Curiosity!"

"Apologize to that b*tch? Not happening. Now get out of my sight before I make you get out."

I folded my arms. "I'm not leaving."

He stood up and balled his fists. I closed my eyes and braced for the blow I knew was coming, but it never came. When I opened my eyes, he was just standing there. "Screw it." he sighed. "You're not worth my time." And with that, he walked away.

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So, how was it? Good? Bad? Let me know!