The Party
Diclaimer: I don't own anyone you recognize obviously.
Summary: A party is being held to cheer up Japan in lieu of recent events…but of course things go awry!
WARNING: If potty humor, foul language, stupidity and drinking offend you…then you need not to read this.
1.
All of the usual players were here…why, Germany had no idea. All he knew that it was supposed to be a surprise for Japan and that he and Italy were the only ones that were supposed to come. Everyone was already loud and full of alcohol and doing lewd acts (as the German noticed glancing at France, who was already groping a sleeping China and drooling.
Why am I here? thought the German. Then he heard a familiar squeal of 'GERMANY GERMANY!' The German turned around.
And there was the reason why the bunch of idiots was here: Italy was grinning and happy as usual, holding a brightly colored box. "I got something for Japan!"
"What is it?" The German asked, "and seriously…I thought it was supposed to be just us three?"
"I got Japan some nice food from my country!" The Italian was so proud, "See…I got him some art books, some tokens from Rome and Florence, something really nice from Venice…"
The German nodded his approval. "Ah. I see. Tourist tokens…"
"And I got some of our porn in there too!"
The German just shook his head. Leave it to the tiny Italian to not get things right…as usual.
2.
France was dreaming.
He was in Provence, somewhere in a barn, oh…say around the middle ages…in the haystack making mad passionate love to the most beautiful and exotic girl he had seen. Long dark hair as black as coal, piercing eyes that haunted him to his soul…and a body flat as a board…but that was okay. France was a true romantic and truly loved everyone….except animals(for some things were screwy, even for him.) Leave the animal-fuckers to England.
"Ahhh madamoiselle, " He cooed, "You are truly a treasure" He kissed down the woman's neck, "Your skin is the color of purity…your lips" he moved to her lips, "are the color of rubies…" His hand caressed her even further, "I want you. I need you now!"
"Take me then!" The girl cooed back. France unzipped his pants and put his hands under her dress.
And woke up with his hand on China's crotch, gripping something rather hard.
"Oh" France smirked to himself. "He's actually rather large, no?"
3.
Things were in full swing while the guest of honor was still not present. America was drinking some beers watching the karaoke machine that Poland had just set up. Next to America, was his elder brother…who was currently watching everything with a silent face. "Bloody hell, I hate these gatherings" he muttered. "bad enough I had to put up with this just a month ago. Do you realize that after while in Westminister, everything looks like it's moving?"
"Oh, you mean you went to the Wedding?" America could've cared less as he listened to Poland try and entertain everyone with a seriously funky version of 'Bad Romance'
"Oh course I went to that wedding!" England absentmindedly took a bottle from the cooler where America kept the beer. America looked at him warily.
"Uh…dude…you do realize what that is right?" He asked his brother, but the Englishman was starting to get on one of his rants.
"Bloody long affair" England continued, "The bride looked lovely and the Prince was fine of course…but those damn fairies kept bothering me the whole time!"
"I WANT VOUR LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE I WANT YOUR LOVE" Poland sang off key. "RAH RAH OHH LALALA BAD ROMANCE!'
"THAT"S NOT THE SONG!" someone yelled but that didn't stop the tiny Pole from hamming it up. America wisely kept his mouth shut…for a minute.
"Dude, you seriously worry me" He looked at his brother with concern. "You keep seeing things. England…you're my brother…and I know we have our differences, but I worry about you, man"
England continued to drink, "Kiddo….I…I…"
"I just want to know…are you on drugs?"
"Oh my God" Poland was now launching into another song. "I Love this song! I want to join in!" Then England took off his pants and joined the stage.
"Hey…" Russia worked his way towards next to America, who was hysterical. "What's up with England?"
"Oh man, he's totally smashed!" America was hysterical as England began to sing with Poland on a rather rousing and drunken version of 'I Got You Babe'. "GO ENGLAND! "
"Ah…" Russia surmised quietly. "I see."
Germany, after beating up Italy for giving their friend, inappropriate gifts (Italy's punishment was to listen to The Best of David Hasselhoff,) watched. England was wearing no pants.
"I am so sorry for this" he apologized.
"No need to apologize my friend" Russia smiled. "I find the idea of England having a tiny cock rather amusing."
5.
Japan was feeling rather glum nowadays, though he didn't allow anyone to see him like that. The months have been hard. His people were recovering from the worse catastrophe that he had seen since the days of the Second World War and he, despite the fact that he spent hours on end volunteering down at shelters everywhere , felt powerless.
The others had helped as soon as word got out about the earthquake and tsunami. Everyone sent help of some sort, even that foolish Korea, whom Japan was a little miffed at for stealing the idea of his favorite anime and making it into Korea's own verison. He was sitting at home, reading on a rare day off nowadays, when Germany told him to come to a certain address for a gathering with he and Italy. This made Japan smile.
"It's nice to spend some time with dear friends" He said to his cat as he began to leave. The cat meowed his approval. Then Japan left.
He approached the building and went inside.
"What's going on?" he looked all around him. And all around the place was a mess: Italy was crying over listening to some horrible pop music, France was molesting China, England and Poland were nearly naked as both of their….swang in the breeze.
"Uh oh." Germany blushed in embarrassment. "uh…hey. You're early."
"What's going on? Is this a party?"
"Japan!" The Italian groped him. "Hey you made it! You like your party?"
"Party?"
"Yeah!" The Italian beamed. "We thought you could use some cheering up after what happened so Germany and I thought we'd have a little party!"
"All of this is for me?" Japan was touched. Even his eyes swelled up a little.
"Except for the two naked assholes" Germany apologized.
"Eat up buddy!" America grinned. "You deserve some fun after what happened!"
"Arigato" Japan bowed. "I am truly touched. Though…I shall have to seriously cut someone if England-san comes near me with his willy hanging out."
Fini.
New series to try. Been a fan of Hetaila for awhile and wanted to try something funny, instead of my usual shipping fics. But…don't worry. They shall be back. :D