"Hey... um, Riley?"
"What's up, Pete?"
"You wouldn't wanna... I mean... nevermind."
"No, what?"
"Nothing, it was... stupid, I... forget I said anything. How's football?"
"Shut up, man. Something's on your mind; I wanna know what it is."
"Hah, no you don't, or... I don't want you to, really."
"Fine. I'll go eat lunch with someone else."
"No! Riley, wait, what are you flipping out for? This is stupid..."
"It's not, Pete. I thought I was your best friend, why can't you just tell me what's on your mind? Obviously, it's bothering you, but if you can't trust me with it, I guess I'll just go chill with someone else..."
"No! Just... come back, man. Sit down."
"Are you gonna tell me?"
"..."
"Pete?"
"...Yeah, fine."
"Alright, I'm here. And waiting."
"I... ahem, I was gonna, uh... ask if... you..."
"Spit it out!"
"Iwantedtoknowifyou'dmaybemindifIkissedyou."
"..."
"..."
"You wanted to know if I'd let you..."
"...Yeah..."
"Kiss me?"
"... well, yep."
"..."
"...? Well? I—I haven't got all day for you to make up your damn mind!"
"... wow. Um."
"'Um'? What does that mean!"
"I... I'm not quite sure I know what's going on here..."
"What the hell do you mean? I just asked you if you wanted me to kiss you or not! It's pretty straightforward!"
"...wait. Oh. Oh, man."
"What?"
"I see what this is about. You're trying to get me to say I'm... to say I'm, like, queer or gay or something. Pete, you're a lot of things, but I didn't think you were this much of an asshole."
"What? This isn't-!"
"BUT! I am absolutely, undeniably 100% straight! Your little plan failed. Now, eat your lunch, you dick."
"...Uh. O-okay." ,;,_,;,