I only play with these toys, they belong to the BBC and RTD. cries
A/Ns: this justed spawened from my imagination.
I can't help it when I look at the young man that if I had never met the Doctor, his life would be so much different. I look at him and think that I shouldn't be here, I was born in the 51st century, but here I am in the 21st and changing the life of a man whose life should have been so much different. I should have died many times before I met this man, but can't help thinking if I have changed his life in a good way or a bad one.
Sometimes I wish I had died on the game station, I feel like I'm hurting Ianto with the knowledge that he knows I will leave him when the Doctor comes, and he will come, he'll come back for his hand, I know Ianto is dreading that day, the day when I wont be here for him anymore. That will be the day the beautiful young man next to me will grow up, I only hope he'll take charge whilst I'm gone, I don't trust the others, I trust the look in Ianto's eyes when he has to make a decision.
I can't help waking him, I saw his nightmares invade his dream when his face changed, are these nightmares caused by me, or whether they are caused by Canary Wharf I don't know, when I ask him he says nothing, just smiles and cuddles closer to me and falls asleep. I guess even he doesn't know. He looks at me and asks what is on my mind, I only answer with a kiss, and I know he'll settle back down to sleep if I do that.
I think about my team, the way Gwen is always after some bloke, she cares so much for strangers but treats her boyfriend like a piece of rubbish that hadn't been taken out. I can tell she's after me, but I'm with Ianto, and I only had to wait over a year, but it was worth it. Owen and his silly ways, I really should talk to Owen about teasing Ianto. And then there's Toshiko, the one who craves Owen more than Owen craves Gwen. And I always think of Ianto.
I see the TARDIS after I have come back to my team, I know they will hate me for just leaving, but I hope Ianto will understand, we have had this conversation a million times, he will lead the others, and I will come back, hopefully soon. But if not, they will be in capable hands, so I just smile because it's better than crying.
I'm sat with this new Doctor and his new companion, I miss the old ones, I fell in love with the old ones, but now my mind wonders to the hub, and the only man I love there. It is only when I die again does it strike me that what I want isn't chasing the universe, it's 21st century Earth, and a man there. I may have changed his life a hell of a lot, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to change it a whole lot more.