Derek's POV:

"Derek…."

I slowly began to open my eyes, rubbing the sleep away as I saw Addison straddling me, running her hands through my hair. My eyes began to roam down and I notice she had nothing on. She leaned down swiftly and placed a soft kiss upon my lips.

"Rise and shine sweetheart, we've got quite a long day ahead of us, don't wanna start it off running late now do we?" says Addison as she runs her hand slowly down my chest, stopping at my belly button.

I eagerly moan and lift myself onto my elbows, touching my nose to hers.

"Are you sure we couldn't spare 10 more minutes in bed? I mean…," I grab Addison's waist and push her to the other side of the bed, mounding on top of her within seconds, "I thought you'd enjoy something more than wasting time, making coffee…" I move my lips to her neck and began to softly suck, leaving my imprint on her delicate skin.

"Oh God Derek…. Yesss…. Keep going…" begs Addison. I look back up just as she throws her head back in pure bliss. I had her exactly where I wanted her. I place my hands on her hips as our lips fuse together. She runs her fingers slowly down my bare skin, stopping at the small of my back, digging her nails deeper and deeper into me. I feel myself go hard against my boxers as she moves her hands down to my thighs, amusingly squeezing me as she deepens our kiss. Thrusting her tongue into my mouth I felt myself involuntarily moan and joyfully deliver the gift back. I slide my left hand gently up her thigh, caressing her breast in the other as I slowly begin to rub my body against her.

"This…. is way better… t-than coffee…" says Addison breathlessly against my lips. I silence her once again by sliding my tongue back into her mouth, biting down on her bottom lip. She squeals in ecstasy as we roll over once again with Addison now on top, lips still glued together. She takes hold of both of my hands, and entangles them with hers as she lifts them up above my head. I now feel more exposed and vulnerable now than ever before. Addison breaks our kiss and leans over to my right ear.

"Stay perfectly still…" she whispers demandingly as her hands glide back down to my belly button, swirling her pointer finger through the hair of my happy trail. I look up at her to see power and determination flashing through her eyes. My member began to twitch and I knew I couldn't take any of this foreplay much longer.

"I need you now Addison…" I demand. An evil smirk spreads across her face as she places her hands under the elastic of my boxers, toying with the fabric. Inch by inch, she slowly begins to bring down my underwear, stopping every now and than to bend down and place a chaste kiss on my lips. After what seemed like hours, I was finally fully exposed to her and we could get on with our main task, making love. The radiance of her body heat almost drove me to the brink as I was still forced to keep my hands above my head. She brought her mouth to mine once again as I attacked her lips with hunger and starvation. I felt the heat of her body against my stomach and knew she was ready for me to go in. She wraps her arms around my neck and sucks away on my earlobe.

"Oh God Mer..." I moan... Addison abruptly stops and lifts her head up.

"What the hell did you just call me?!" she screams.

Shit.

"Damnit Addie, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it, it just happened to slip out." I say desperately. .

"Slip out? Derek, you were giving some of the most mind blowing sex to your wife and you end up moaning your slutty intern's name! Do you really think I'm going to easily forgive you for that?!" Addison grabs a heap of covers off the bed and crawls out, stomping to the bathroom of my trailer.

Damn, what did I do? In all honesty, of course I still have feelings for Meredith, and Addie knows that too, but we talked about it. Addison has been my wife for the past 11 years, and I can't throw it all away with a one night stand that I happened to fall head over heels for. I don't know what it is that makes me so drawn to Meredith. She makes me feel, unbelievable… like I have the whole world in the shelter of my arms. Her smile, oh God that smile, just makes me lose all self control. I'd say Meredith and only Meredith is the one person I can't be alone with. It's not because I don't have a yearning for her, it's just that I lose all common sense and control of my actions when I'm with her. She's the girl I see my self growing old with, the girl I see walking down the aisle of our wedding, asking for my hand in marriage. Even worse, she's the girl I picture in my head as I make love to my wife. I had a choice at one point, to pick Addison or Meredith to spend the rest of my life with, and I chose wrong. But it's not like I cold admit my mistake to both of them. Addison would call me a cheating bastard and leave me in the dust, and Meredith would never take me back knowing I was her second choice. It's a lose/lose situation for me here, and all I can pray for is that it wouldn't all blow up in my face.

I quickly jump off the bed and slip my boxers and jeans back on, throwing a wrinkled gray shirt over my torso as I bolt out the trailer, not wanting to cross paths with Addison again until later on in the day. I feel as if she needs some time to cool down and it'd be a smarter decision to get ready at the hospital. I step on the gas pedal and make it to Seattle Grace in record time. As I walk to the entrance, I think about Meredith and how I'd prefer her not to see me this way. Meredith has always been an elevator person, despising exercise, so I decide the stairs this morning wouldn't be too bad of an idea. Half way up I run into Alex bolting down the steps.

"Karev! What's the hurry?!"

"Major trauma sir, train crash downtown and I want to snatch up a good case!" he yells as he pulls open the door running to the ER.

Well okay, I guess running into Karev couldn't be such a bad thing since he didn't make a rude comment to me about my wrinkled closed and sex hair. I make it up to the attending lounge within minutes and hop into the shower, getting lost in my thoughts as the hot water slammed against my back.

Out of all the millions of people that could be running through my head, it has to be Meredith. Not my wife, not my best friend, not a colleague, but Meredith. She's like a drug to me; I get a high whenever I kiss her or even when I merely think about her. If she asked me to take a bullet for her, there would be no fiber in my body to restrain myself from jumping in front of that gun for her. Fuck Cristina Yang, I want to be her person. I always catch myself fantasizing what it'd be like if Meredith was in my life right now and we were in a steady relationship. First off, there'd be sex every night, no doubt about that, but I could just see it, the two of us, walking hand in hand down the hallways of the hospital, innocent flirtations here and there. Just like how it used to be, until my wife came and screwed it all up.

Wife.

Those words taste disgusting as I spit them out with pure hatred, Addison has no right to be called my wife, not after all the shit she has put me through. She thinks it's okay to fuck my best friend in my own bed as I walk in on her and him as they're in the thrusts, but I'm a lying adulterous man if I mess around with an intern and she only hears about it. But Meredith wasn't just some intern, she was THEE intern. An intern like no other. From that one night in the bar, I wouldn't even have been able to tell that she was a young woman straight out of medical school. I don't care what Addison says about her, Meredith Grey will forever and always leave me in awe. I begin to turn off the water just as its getting cold and wrap a towel around my waist, walking into the lounge to grab my clothes.

"Oh, hey Derek." Says someone as my backs turned looking into my duffel bag pulling out my scrubs. But that someone wasn't just anyone, I could recognize that voice in a crowded room. It could only belong to…

"Meredith…" I say as I turn to face her. She was already in her scrubs with her luscious hair tied back.

"Oh, I'm sorry Derek, is this a bad time? I could step outside while you change, I know I shouldn't even be in here in the first plac-"

"No Mer, you're fine. You can stay." I say as I step towards her, slowly closing the gap between us. I see her eyes roam down to my bare chest, feasting herself on what I have to present her. She doesn't realize I notice that she's staring and I take this opportunity to study her face. Oh how I wish I could cup my hands around her delicate skin and declare my love for her right here and now. The things I'd do to be able to suck on that one special spot behind her right ear, driving her to her climax. Meredith realizes I caught her staring and blushes, turning her naturally pale cheeks to a deep red.

"So what can I help you with Meredith?" I say too eagerly.

"Well, I as wondering if you needed any help on your rounds. It's been pretty dead today and George and Izzy have everything controlled in the ER while Cristina and Alex are on Bailey's service today." I take another step closer to her, only leaving no more than two feet between us.

"Glad to know you're not busy today. I don't have any scheduled surgeries today but if you just check in with all my patients and evaluate them, that'd be more than amazing." I flash her my boyish grin, knowing that it makes he weak in the knees. She returns the favor and gives me her famous Meredith Grey smile, the one that makes butterflies go through my stomach.

"Yeah, I'd be more than happy to help you, thank you Doctor Shepherd." She says and turns to leave.

Say something Derek, anything. Don't be an ass. Hurry, before she leaves.

"Hey Meredith," I blurt out, regretting it seconds later. She turns around, her gray eyes peering into my own. C'mon think of something Derek, don't wimp out.

"Yes sir?" She says softly.

.

"Uhhh, you don't have to call me Doctor Shepherd you know, you are more than welcome to call me Derek." She smiles and turns the door handle, swinging it smoothly open.

"Okay Derek, well you finished getting dressed and I'll have your rounds done by lunch." And with that, she closes door behind her, her footsteps disappearing into the hospital.

I let in a big gulp of air and breathe it out hastily as I pull on my scrubs, replaying what just happened through my head.

Was she actually, checking me out? I mean normally women don't stare at your chest for long periods of time. If it was any other girl, I would've turned around and ask her to leave. But it was Meredith, not just any kind of girl. I make exceptions for Meredith, exceptions that I wouldn't even let my wife to do to me.

As if on cue my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and see Addison's name on the screen. Debating if I should answer it or not, I let it go to voicemail so I can see what she has to say.

"Hey Derek its Addie. Look, I'm sorry, I guess I over reacted this morning, I know you wouldn't be acting like me if I called out Mark's name during sex. Just please call me back. Maybe we can have lunch together and talk things through. I don't like us fighting and arguing, we just finally worked this marriage out again and I don't want it to crumble back down to pieces. So call back. Love you."

Love.

I don't know what Addison and I have between us, but it sure ad hell isn't love.

I finish clipping my ID on my scrubs and walk out of the lounge, preparing for the long day ahead of me. I roam over to the board to double check I don't have schedules surgeries for today.

Damn, it's a lucky day today, nothing but rounds and post-ops.

"Derek! My man! How's it going?!" I hear Mark yell from across the hall. I sheepishly smile as I turn towards his direction.

"So any good cases today?" he asks me, looking at the board.

"Doesn't seem like it, pretty much and easy day today." I say. Mark smirks as he finishes reading the board.

"Hell yeah Shepherd. How bout we got Joe's tonight? Just me and you. We'll get drunk out of our minds, hopefully take some women home, bang the shit outta them, and go on with our daily lives tomorrow. What do you say?!" he says enthusiastically.

Unless that one girl's Meredith, than I'll pass…

"Unless you forgot Mark, I have a wife." I say.

"C'mon man! It's not as much fun doing it alone, but hey, you're tied down now, so I guess no is no." he pats my back roughly and walks over the ER, finding other innocent women to hit on.

I walk over to the nurse's station to see Meredith hunched over, scribbling away on someone's charts. I get within a reasonable amount of space from her and lean over the counter.

"Hey Meredith, how's it going? Any troubles yet?" I smile softly as her eyes connect with mine, glistening with concentration.

"Oh hi Dr. Sheph- I mean, Derek. And yeah, everything's going smoothly. Already finished checking up on three of your patients. I'm about to go examine you schizophrenic case, uhmmm, what's his name…. oh here it is, Timothy Perry. After him, I'll be almost half way done." She smirks, pursing her lips softly as she looks back down to her paper.

"Alright, seems like you have everything under control. Are you going to need any help with Timothy Perry? He can be quite difficult to work with at times; I don't want you to lose your temper." I say, speaking the truth.

"Oh no, I'm fine. I've examined him before. He takes a little longer than my other patients, but I can get the job done." She says matter of factly.

I take a step towards her, closing the gap so there are only mere inches between us.

"Well okay than Meredith, I trust you. If you need any help, you know who to page." I innocently wink at her. The action causes her to bite her bottom lip, as our faces our centimeters apart.

"Oh Derek! There you are!" I pull away and turn my head to see Addison stomping towards me. I glance over to Meredith to see her grabbing her reports and walking off in the opposite direction. Addison comes up to me and forces a kiss upon my lips. I hesitate and pull back, looking around to see 5 nurses observing everything that has just gone down.

"Addison, can we take this somewhere else, at least somewhere more... private?" lust flashes through her eyes as she grabs my hand and pulls me towards an on-call room. I slam the door behind us and let go of her hand.

"Look Addison, I know you're pissed off right now but-"

"You think I'm pissed of Der?! I was pissed when you moaned Meredith's name this morning, but I decided to forgive you. Than I come over the hospital to work everything out between us and you're flirting with Meredith, moments away from kissing her?! I am now fucking pissed off Derek. All I want is for us two to work out Derek." She falls down onto the bed, collapsing in exhaustion. I slide my back down the door, sitting on the ground, my knees against my chest.

"Addison, you just have to give me time. You think we can come back up from where we left off in New York, but it's not that simple. I found someone while you were with Mark. I was getting ready to move on until you showed up at this hospital a few weeks ago. You think I can just kick Meredith to the side like you're forcing me to? Meredith and I had something, a bond, a connection, a passion, and banishing me from talking to her isn't going to solve the problem Addie, you're going to have to realize that." Everything that was bottled up inside of me was finally free.

"Derek, if you want time, I can give you it. But if you think in that time I'm going to let you play with that intern and sleep around, than you've got it wrong. We made vows Derek, vows to never leave each other, through sickness and health, during the good times and the bad-"

"Well where were those vows that night you slept with Mark?!" I snap back. I lift myself up and start to pace around the room.

"What you don't realize Addison is that you're being so hypocritical right now. You're screaming at me for sleeping with Meredith yet you think it's perfectly fine that you do it with Mark… he was my best friend Addison…" I sit down at the foot of the bed and lean over, placing my hands behind my neck, slowly breathing in and out. We sit there in silence for about 5 minutes until she sits up and scoots next to me, placing her right hand onto my left thigh and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Derek, I love you so much. The thought of losing you would just kill me. I know we've both-… I know I've made mistakes, but I'm ready to get past this. I can't deal with the fact knowing you're walking around this hospital hating me…" begs Addison. I look up as she lifts her head off my shoulder, her hand still rubbing my thigh. I press my forehead against hers.

"Oh Addie… I have so many things running through my head; it's just too hard to think rationally right now…" I say softly. Addison slowly bends her head and presses a kiss gingerly onto my lips. I freeze, not knowing if I want to return the favor or not. She tugs at my upper lip, sucking on it softly as I finally give in and wrap my hands around her waist. Her hands tangle through my hair as I push her back onto the bed, straddling her hips down. She slips her tongue roughly into my mouth as pull away and suck on her neck.

"A hickey before 10 o'clock Derek… you must be really starving." Truth was I was starving. I needed to have my sexual desires fulfilled, but not by her. My core ached for Meredith.

"Mhmmm…" I say breathlessly against her neck as she tugs at my scrub bottoms. I grab her hands quickly and interlock them with my own, not wanting to go that far right now. I fuse my lips back to hers and press my tongue against her lips, begging for entry. Once granting my access, she lets go of my grasp and slides her hands up my top, softly rubbing my chest. Just as I was about to return the favor, my pager goes off.

"Damnit Derek, who ever it is, let them handle it on their own." begs Addison. I smile sheepishly as I rummage through my pocket to see Meredith's name flashing across the screen. I jump up and fix up my clothes, walking to the door.

"I have to take this one Addie…" I glance back to see Addison still lying there, lust raging through her eyes.

"Get back soon Der, we have some unfinished business." She licks her lips slowly, causing me to moan deep inside my throat as I close the door behind me.

I walk to room 203, thinking about what Meredith needed help with. Hopefully nothing went wrong and I wouldn't have to open up any patients today.. But hey, if it means I get to be with Meredith in the same room for a couple minutes, than that's fine by me. I walk up to the door and notice its shut.

Well that's weird, normally patient doors are always open unless they're be consulted by an attending.

I push down on the handle and walk into the room. I look around as see the room is empty, with no patient in the bed or a doctor around.

Huh.

I check my pager again to see if I misread it it.

Meredith Grey: Rm 203.

Nope, everything was fine. Maybe Mer had to take him up to an OR quickly without having the time to page me. I turn to leave when I hear a murmur come from the bathroom. I spin around and slowly and walk up to the door, placing my ear against the cold wood. About 10 seconds pass by when I hear a soft cry come from the room again. I swing the door open and turn on the lights.

"Oh my God, Meredith…" Tim Perry was huddled in a corner with Meredith trapped in his embrace. His left arm was wrapped around her mouth while his right hand had a scalpel placed at the base of her neck. Meredith was shaking, eyes glistening in tears.

"I swear to God if you take one more step towards me I will slice her fucking throat open." he said, pressing the scalpel harder against her skin.