Alcohol poisoning
I don't own Dragonball Z, not sure who does, but it's not me!
I just found this on my computer, and realised that I haven't posted this here. So here you go.
It's old, and no this doesn't mean I'm going back to writing DBZ. Sorry.
Vegeta stepped out of his training capsule and headed back towards the house of that infernal woman, Bulma. It was bad enough when he had to put up with just her and her parents, but now that weakling Yamcha was back it was becoming intolerable. A smirk played on his lips as he opened the door, maybe he could find a way to not have to leave his capsule at all.
He found them in the living area, they were sitting on the sofas, together, in the way all earthlings seemed to like to spend their time.
"Why hello there, Vegeta." Dr Briefs said.
"Did you have a good time today, honey?" Mrs Briefs asked.
Vegeta clenched his fists, and grunted at them as he walked past, towards the kitchen. That woman was worse than Bulma, nothing he did ever seemed to affect her, and there seemed to be no way to stop her calling him 'honey'! He could kill her, but if he did that he wouldn't have anywhere to train, in order to get better than Kakarot, so he had to put up with it. He scowled at that thought.
He picked up an apple, unlike Kakarot, he finishes training with enough energy to avoid eating like a pig, well at least most of the time. He ate the apple in two bites and picked up another. When he left the kitchen, he was confronted with Yamcha and Bulma, who had just walked in.
"Hey, Vegeta!" Yamcha said. Vegeta's eyes narrowed, why was he so happy? "Do you want a beer?" Yamcha held up a case, filled with small bottles of liquid. Vegeta folded his arms and barely contained his surprise, under a wall of suspicion.
"What is a beer?" He said.
"Wow, you don't know what a beer is?" Yamcha said.
"Humph," Bulma said, walking past Yamcha to sit on one of the sofas. "Vegeta spends most of his time in the capsule training. He only comes out to eat and sleep."
"If I had my way, I wouldn't come out at all!" Vegeta growled. Bulma shrugged.
"Fine with me!" She said. Yamcha looked from one of them to the other, then took one of the bottles from the case, and tossed it to Vegeta. He caught it, and looked down at it in suspicion.
"Why don't you try one? It'll help you relax." Yamcha said.
"That's a good idea." Dr Briefs said. "You need to relax more, you've been uptight recently." A look of shock passed momentary across Vegeta's face but was replaced by a scowl instantly. A vain on his forehead pulsed. So they thought he was uptight did they? He thought. He looked down at the bottle in his hand. There was no way some liquid was going to get the Prince of all Saiyans to relax if he didn't want too. He'd prove that to them all!
"If it will make you all shut up, I will drink it!" He said. Then he flicked the cap off the bottle, the cap flew across the room and embedded it's self in the wall. He downed the entire bottle in one go.
Ten minutes later...
"....So I said to him..." Yamcha was interrupted by someone giggling. Yamcha looked at Bulma.
"Don't look at me, I didn't do it." She said. Yamcha look over to the other sofa and both Mrs Briefs and Dr Briefs shook their heads.
The giggle came again, and they all looked towards it's source. It was Vegeta. They all froze at the shock of hearing such a sound from Vegeta. Bulma had heard Vegeta laughing when they'd got back from Namek, but that had seemed forced somehow. This was real laughter, unimpeded and pure. Vegeta was still standing where he'd been ten minutes ago, he was even, still holding the bottle.
Vegeta giggled again, hiccuped, staggered to his right, and hit the wall. The house shook with the impact. Vegeta slide down the wall and sat on the floor, not even trying to stand. The giggles degenerated into full laughter. Bulma was the first to recover, she got up and walked over to Vegeta and leant over him.
"Vegeta?" She said. Vegeta looked up at her, his eyes defocused and more open than Bulma had ever seen. He raised a hand and pointed at her, she flinched expecting some kind of attack. But Vegeta giggled again.
"Your kinda cute, for an earth woman." He said, his words slightly slurred. Bulma straightened and looked at the others.
"I think he's drunk, you guys." She said. Yamcha's jaw dropped, and Mrs Briefs raised her hands to her cheeks.
"Oh my." She said.
"How can he be drunk?" Yamcha said. "He's only had one beer."
"I don't know." Bulma said, she started to make her way back to the sofas. Behind her Vegeta struggled to stand. "Maybe it works differently for Saiyans." She said. Vegeta staggered after her, and came up to a sofa. He put a hand on it as if to prevent him self from falling.
"Three years, and we'll all be dead." Vegeta said and giggled. "Three years, is what he said." Vegeta stopped, "That rhymed." He said and laughed so hard he almost lost his grip on the sofa.
"I have to say this is odd." Dr Briefs said.
"Yeah, I would have thought it would take more to get a Saiyan drunk." Yamcha said, "Seeing as their so tough and all."
"Think about it guys." Bulma said. "Has anyone ever seen Goku drink before?" They all shook their heads. "Well, maybe this is why."
"So they can punch through steel, but they can't hold their drink." Yamcha said and he giggled him self. "Don't you find that funny?"
"It's not fair!" Vegeta wailed in the loud confidant manner that only drunks can manage. "I'm the Prince of all Saiyims." He poked him self in the chest with a thumb. "Me! I should be a Super Saiyim, not Kakotot."
Vegeta's hand slipped off the back of the sofa, and he landed head first onto the sofa. Something in the sofa snapped, and it fell back. Vegeta disappeared behind it. A moment later snoring could be heard from behind the sofa.
"Oh, my." Mrs Briefs said.
"I always thought Vegeta would have been a mean drunk." Yamcha said.
"Well I'm glad he wasn't." Dr Briefs said. "I wouldn't have liked rebuilding the house." They all laughed.
The next morning...
Vegeta opened one eye, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this way. Even after fighting Freiza he hadn't felt this lousy. He opened the other eye, and took in his surroundings. He was in his room and in his bed. But how had he got there? The door to the room opened. Vegeta tried to sit up, but only got as far as resting on his elbows. What the hell is wrong with him!? Bulma appeared next to his bed.
"So how are we feeling, today, Vegeta?" She said.
"You poisoned me, woman!" Vegeta said. She looked indignant.
"I did not!" She said. "You've got a hangover. What did you expect from drinking alcohol." Vegeta's eyes widened in shock and he sat straight up.
"Alcoh...." Vegeta stopped as it felt like someone had let off an energy blast inside his head. He settled back into his bed, as he let the pain die down enough to string two thoughts together.
"Imbecile." He whispered, so softly that even his Saiyan ears could barely hear it. When he recovered enough, he pulled him self back onto his elbows.
"Imbecile!" He said again, loud enough for her to hear. "Are you trying to kill me!?" He yelled, then flinched as his own voice hurt his ears. Bulma flinched as well.
"It was only one bottle, it wouldn't have hurt you." She said. Vegeta curled his lip.
"Idiot!" He said "Alcohol is poison to Saiyans!" Bulma's eyes widened in shock.
"I'm sorry, Vegeta, we didn't know!" She said.
"Humph." Vegeta said, and noticed that Bulma was holding a glass. "What is that?" He demanded. Bulma's mouth became a little O before she looked down and saw the glass her self, as if for the first time.
"It's aspirin, for you headache." She said. Vegeta's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Do you really think I'd drink anything gave me now?" He said.
"I'm only trying to help." Bulma said.
"There is one thing you can do to help." Vegeta said. He used all his willpower to raise one of his arms. "You can leave me alone!" He yelled and let off an energy blast. Bulma had already began to leave when she saw him raise his arm, so the blast missed her, and made a large hole on the wall next to the door.
Vegeta lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. Even thought it had made his head throb even more and had taken all he had. It had been worth it. That infernal woman was trying to kill him. No, Vegeta remembered suddenly that it had been that weakling Yamcha that had given him the bottle. Vegeta smiled, he'd have to find a way to get even, he thought as sleep took him over.
Review if you want to, it's not like I'll blow up your miserable planet if you don't, 'couse I happen to live here too. (Sweat drop) Err anyway, I'll be leaving now.