Beautiful Goodbye

by jjcrimminds

I knew that it had been for the best. I couldn't have stayed with him with the knowledge of what he had done. I'll always remember our life together, of what could've been.

A/N: Hey guys. I have yet another one-shot. I'm not proud of this one, though. Every story I've written, I have been pleased with the outcome. But this didn't turn out how I wanted it to.

This was inspired by the song "Beautiful Goodbye" by Amanda Marshall.

I started this fic with a whole different idea in mind, but this is how it came out. I'm sorry if it's poorly written, but this is all I can give you.

We walked into the BAU offices, our go-bags in tow. Hotch looked backwards while he was still walking.

"Great job with the case. Now go home and get some sleep. You don't have to come in until ten." With that, he turned back around and headed up the stairs to his office.

Morgan was grinning. "We don't have to come in until ten? Awesome." I smiled and smacked his arm. "It's not like you don't already come in at ten anyway."

Morgan had the decency to look sheepish. "Hey now, don't be hatin'. I think I can say that I get here at the respectable time of 9:45."

I shook my head and walked over to my desk. I sat my go bag down, straightened a few papers, and pulled my car keys out.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting out of here." I said to them. Kate smiled because she saw the look on Morgan's face and knew what was coming.

"Hey now, Pennsylvania petite, why so soon? You going home to a little southern lovin'?" Morgan wiggled his eyebrows at me.

Reid coughed and said a quick goodbye before leaving. I watched him go. "I think you scared him away." I said to Morgan. "And no, by the way. I'll have you know that the only thing I will be doing when I get home is sleeping. Besides, it's like two in the morning."

Morgan grinned. "Time's never stopped me." I made a face and both Kate and I shuddered at the implication of Morgan's words.

"But seriously, JJ." Morgan started. "You two are getting along fine, right?"

I smiled at his concern. "Yeah. Actually, everything's been great. Will was a little bummed that we had to leave so soon after our last case, but he got over it."

Morgan nodded. "Good. You deserve happiness." I just smiled and him. I said goodbye to him and Kate, since Rossi had went to his office shortly after Hotch.

I stepped into the elevator, and hit the basement level button. The doors opened again, and I made the long trek to my car. I climbed in and left immediately, eager to get home.

I wasn't lying when I had said that things had been great between me and Will. They really had been. We had been together for almost six years. Just last week he had taken me to dinner while Garcia babysat Henry, and together, we had taken him to the zoo. It was a great day, and we all had had a lot of fun.

We'd had more cases in this past month than we'd ever had. I only really got to spend a couple days with my boys at a time before being called in again.

It had agitated Will at first, but he had calmed down and things were back to normal. I was grateful because I hated fighting with him.

It didn't take long for me to get home. After all, it was the middle of the night, so there was no traffic to speak of.

I pulled into my driveway and turned off the car before getting out. I headed to the front door, unlocked it, and went in, shutting the door softly behind myself.

The lights were off, as I had expected them to be. It was two in the morning, so Will was probably sleeping.

I set the keys down on the counter, as well as my purse. I yawned, suddenly feeling drained. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to get into my bed and sleep.

I dragged my feet up the stairs and walked to our bedroom. The door was closed, which was odd, but I brushed the feeling away and opened the door.

I gasped, my eyes immediately filling with tears. My hand came up to cover my mouth.

There Will was, on our bed, hovering over another girl. I couldn't see his face, but maybe that was because his tongue was down her throat.

Neither of them had any clothes on, and I could clearly see that they were having sex right there.

The girl saw me and gasped, pushing away from my husband. He turned around and looked shocked to see me standing there.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't give him the chance. I spun around and ran out of the room, away from the image that would haunt my memories forever.

I ran to Henry's room. Before I could open the door, Will grabbed my wrist. I glared at him through tear-filled eyes. "Let go of me." I said through gritted teeth.

He looked so absolutely panicked, but I couldn't find it in me to care. "JJ, just let me explain-" I cut him off. "Explain? What could you possibly have to say that would explain you with her in our bed?" I was yelling now, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to get out of this house and take Henry with me.

He reluctantly let me go, and I opened Henry's door. He was awake, sitting up in his bed. My yelling probably woke him up.

He rubbed his little fists over his eyes. "Mommy?" He said sleepily.

Despite the situation, I smiled. "Yeah, baby. We're gonna go for a ride, okay? You can sleep more in the car." I moved around the room quickly, gathering things that I would need to take care of him.

Henry had gotten out of bed and dutifully put his shoes on. I was glad that he was helping. I finished packing his things and turned back to him.

Even though he was almost seven years old, I picked him up anyway. I juggled him in one arm and his bag in the other. I left the room, pushing past Will who was still standing in the hallway.

He followed me into our bedroom. I put Henry down and told him to wait downstairs. He nodded and left the room.

As much as I didn't want to be in this room, I had to get some clothes for myself. Will tried to stop me. "JJ, please don't leave me. Please." He begged me, and I grew more disgusted by the second.

I stopped packing and turned to face him. "You cheat on me in my own bed and you expect me to stay with you?" I didn't yell this time. Instead, my words were sharp and piercing.

He had the decency to look ashamed. "I know what I did was wrong, but I love you. And you can't just take Henry-" I cut him off again. "Do you honestly think that I'd leave him here with you?" I spat, anger taking hold of me.

I picked up the suitcase and left the room, not giving him the time to respond. When I got downstairs, I grabbed my keys and purse off of the counter. I was about to turn around when a hand settled on my arm.

I knew it wasn't Will. The hand was feather-light and soft compared to his. That meant there was only one person that it could belong to.

I wiped my tears away and turned around to face the woman who had destroyed my life. To my surprise, she looked almost as distraught as I was.

She was beautiful, about my height with midnight black hair and smooth, porcelain skin. She looked to be around my age. And she was dressed in casual clothing, jeans and a pretty sweater, nothing like the slutty clothes that I had expected her to be wearing. The fact that she looked like this just made me feel worse. Was I not enough for him that he had to find someone else?

If it was any other person, I wouldn't have stuck around to see what they had to say, but by just looking at her, I could tell that she felt just as deceived and used as I did. So, I stood there and let her speak.

She raised her caramel colored eyes to mine. "I am so sorry. I had no idea that he had a kid, let alone a wife. I would've never gotten involved if I knew, I swear." Her eyes were watering, and her nose was red. I'm sure her face matched mine.

Years of profiling told me that she was sincere. Despite what I thought of her when I first saw her with Will, I felt bad for her. She had no idea what she was getting into, and she got the short end of the stick.

Well, mine was shorter, but still.

I studied her face for a couple of seconds, considering her words and came to a conclusion. "You don't have a way home, do you?" I asked her, although it was more of a statement since I didn't remember another car in the driveway.

She shook her head, and I nodded. "I'll take you wherever you need to go." Her eyes lit up, but she soon grew confused. "Why would you do that? All I've done is destroy your life-"

I quieted her by putting a hand on her shoulder. "Because I know this isn't your fault. We were both hurt by the same man, and the only one to blame is him."

She nodded and I motioned her to follow me. I picked up Henry's bag and gave it to her to carry. Henry was sitting on the couch. He was sleeping again, so I leaned down and picked him up. He never even stirred.

I opened the front door, and all three of us walked out to my SUV. I settled a sleeping Henry in the back seat and threw his bag and my suitcase into the back.

When I was finished, I turned to the girl. "What's your name?" I asked her. She smiled. "Amber." I nodded and returned her smile. "I'm Jennifer."

I told her that she could get in the passenger seat. I was about to follow her when Will appeared behind me. I groaned silently. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"You can't take Henry away from me." He told me, sounding distressed. I could care less at how he felt at this point.

"Try and stop me." I told him. His forehead creased in response. "JJ, you have to believe me. I never meant for any of this to happen. It's just – you were gone all of the time, and I-" I shoved him. Hard. He stumbled back a few feet, looking shocked.

"Are you seriously blaming me for this? You know how much I hated being away from you and Henry. You know how much my job means to me, and you're blaming me?" My voice escalated into a yell until I remembered that Henry was only a few feet away sleeping.

I lowered my voice. "The only person you have to blame is yourself. Everything I do is for my family. You know that. And you had to be the one to destroy it all." Tears were streaming down my face now as I struggled to reign in my emotions. Everything was hitting me all at once and I was on the verge of breaking down completely.

Will's eyes started to water at the sight of his wife crying. He had made the stupidest mistake of his life, and now he was going pay for it. No matter what she thought, though, he really did love her. He tried to make her see that, although he knew she wouldn't.

"JJ, stop and listen to me. I do love you. Hell, I moved from New Orleans to Virginia for you. Please, just give me another chance. I'll do anything to make it up to you." He pleaded with her, desperate.

I was shaking now, an emotional mess. I wanted so badly to believe him, to just pretend that this never happened.

But I couldn't do that.

Maybe if I knew that this was just a one-time thing, maybe then I could forgive him. But I knew that wasn't the case. I met the eyes of the man I loved, the one I still love. "Tell me, how did you get a girl like her to sleep with you?" I asked him. I wanted him to know why I couldn't just forgive him.

Will's face dropped and he panicked. He knew what JJ was doing, and it would work because he would tell her the truth. "I pretended to date her, to get her to trust me. And when she did, I used her." He looked down, ashamed of himself.

A lump grew in my throat at the words that I already knew to be true. I looked up at his broken face. "And that is why I can't forgive you. Because if you love me and not her, that would mean that you used an innocent girl for your own purposes, just like you said. And it also means that this has been going on for a long time, and I never even saw it coming. Why couldn't you just tell me, Will? You would've had a better chance of me forgiving you. But instead, you did everything you could to keep me in the dark, so I wouldn't expect anything. You took me on these spontaneous dates, planned family outings. I should've known something was off, that you were deceiving me this whole time. Was I not enough for you? Did I not satisfy you enough that you had to find someone else? Because me having to work is not an excuse, Will, and you know it." The words rushed out of me, and I felt lighter, as if getting all of my feelings out had taken of weight off my chest.

Will stood there and took in every word. Everything she said was true. He had tricked an innocent girl just so he could sleep with her, and for what?

When she finished, he looked into those stormy blue eyes that he would miss so much. "Please don't think that I did this because you weren't enough. You were, you always were. I honestly cannot even give you a legitimate reason because I don't even know myself. I just did it. And I know that you having to work isn't an excuse. I know how much you love your job, and I had no business trying to hold that against you. You ask me why? I really don't know. I know there's no chance that you could ever forgive me, but I ask of you one thing. Please don't take Henry away from me. I love you and our son, and I couldn't live knowing that I can't see him."

There was no stopping the tears pouring from my eyes. My heart was breaking. "Will, I would never keep Henry away from you out of spite. I just need him with me for a little while. We'll figure something out about you visitation rights. He's still our son, and he needs his father." I was sincere about not keeping Henry away from him. It wouldn't be right.

Will nodded, grateful. I stepped closer to him, my feet moving under their own volition. "We've had an amazing relationship, Will, full of hardships and beautiful moments. You've gotten me through so much, and I'm grateful for that." I told him, putting my hand on his cheek. He covered my hand with his, and I continued. "It's been a great six years and I only wish we had longer."

I leaned forward and kissed him, so I could feel his lips against mine one last time. "I love you." I whispered into his lips. I felt his body quiver as he started to cry. I slipped my wedding ring off and placed it in his hand, curling his fingers around it.

I gave one last look at the man that I would always love before getting into my car and left him standing there in the driveway.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Amber told me where she lived and I took her home. Before she got out of the car, she apologized and said that I would find happiness again.

I wish I could believe her.

I drove around for a while after that, not sure where to go. I didn't want to burden Garcia, but at this point, I didn't really have a choice.

I stayed with her for a couple of weeks. She insisted that I could stay as long as I wanted, but I knew I had to get my own place eventually.

I settled for a small apartment building in the city. I knew that if I had asked Will, he would've moved out and let me have the house, my house. But I couldn't stay there, sleep in the bed that he had tainted. My heart couldn't take it.

I filed for divorce just days after the ordeal. Will signed the papers, and it was final within a month. I was once again Jennifer Jareau.

Will watched Henry when I was away on a case. Henry seemed to be adapting well to having to travel to see his other parent, and for that I was grateful.

As for me, I was slowly healing. My heart aches when I think of all the years we had spent together. And I knew that I would never love another man the way I had loved Will. He was it for me.

I knew that it had been for the best. I couldn't have stayed with him with the knowledge of what he had done. I'll always remember our life together, of what could've been.

But in the end, I'm just glad that I got to say goodbye.

Please let me know what you think, and if there's anything I could've done to make it better.