Condiment of Fury!
Disclaimer:
The "Dragonball" series are shows about incredible power, strength, family honor, and pride. They are some of the finest animated shows to date and continue to entrance fans throughout the world with their brutal, but strangely Greek mythology-esque premise. The creator of the series was obviously an outstanding person with many creative talents...and then there's the fan that writes stupid fanfics about the characters on the show, dreaming that maybe--just MAYBE--one day she'll be able to compete against the subtle magnitude of genius contained in the "Dragonball" universe. Yes, I am that fan. Yes, this is my stupid story. And yes, I acknowledge the fact that in comparison to Toriyama Akira, I suck ass. Please do not sue the stupid story-writing fan who sucks ass.Author's Note:
Read and Review--all of the good guys do! =)-------------------------------------------------------------
Bulma wiped her brow as she cleaned her wrench free of the thick motor oil and inspected her work. The SSJ4 ray gun was almost ready. It was a relief too, Vegeta had been bugging her about it for about three months. Now she could finally get some peace and quiet around that man every time she saw him. She really hated to admit it, but she had been avoiding him for the longest time just to escape the imminent "ONNA, WHEN'S THAT BLASTED MACHINE GOING TO BE READY?!" threat. Bulma frowned at that thought, then brightened instantly when she remembered that it was almost done. She bent over to connect some wires at the base of the handle when suddenly, a loud crash came from the gravity room next door. Bulma's eyes grew wide in shock. What the hell had just happened? She sat up and straightened her back when she realized what had occurred in there.
Bulma bit her lower lip and tore the baseball cap she had been wearing off of her head, throwing it down angrily onto the floor. "THAT DOES IT..." she yelled, tossing the wrench aside and standing up to leave the lab in a huff. She walked to the door and threw it open, hearing it slam against the wall behind her as she walked down the long hallway to the gravity room. The middle-aged woman reached her destination and punched in the access code that opened the large airtight door that stood between her and that insane Saiya-jin husband of hers. She occupied the narrow doorway, her hands planted firmly on her hips. Vegeta flinched in surprise when he heard her clear her throat in annoyance behind him and he turned around slowly to meet the gaze of his 'adoring' mate. He frowned. "Do you mind? I was TRYING TO TRAIN!!" he boomed.
Bulma gasped when she saw a huge gaping hole across the room. Vegeta had probably been using a fly that had landed on the wall for target practice again. "SHIMATTA, VEGETA!!!" she yelled, her screech almost completely busting Vegeta's eardrums. He covered them and grunted in pain.
"FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI, ONNA, SHUT THE HELL UP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE ANYWAY??" he cried.
The flustered blue-haired woman stormed into the gravity room and smacked her hands across her husband's chest, spitting angry threats through clenched teeth. "YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST...MOST BULL-HEADED BASTARD THAT I HAVE EVER--"
Vegeta swatted her hands away and squinted his eyes. "Jeez, what are you--"
Bulma continued smacking her hands across his chest angrily. "DAMATTE YO, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF DOG SHIT! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIX THAT HOLE NOW!" She balled her fist and began bringing it down hard onto his chest when he caught her wrist and smirked.
"Ooh, hey...heh heh, you'd better watch yourself, woman, you might get me turned on," he grunted as he brought his face close to hers and licked the tip of her nose. She stared at him in shock for a moment, then jerked her hand away and trudged out of the room again, grumbling under her breath. Vegeta, however, had gotten his woman worked up and he was not going to let the opportunity to mess with her slide.
Vegeta hopped after her and talked in his stupid voice that he only used when they were alone. "Daah, you're goin' th' wrong way, woman, bedroom's upstairs," he giggled. The muscle-bound man grabbed her around the waist from behind and spun her around to face him. He nipped her on the neck and she angrily shoved herself out of his arms.
"Fuck you, Vegeta," she sighed, turning back to the hallway to walk to the lab. Vegeta watched her retreating figure and smirked.
"And she's a mind reader too. I think I'm in love," he muttered playfully and began after her again. Bulma turned her head slightly to see if he was following her, and indeed, he was. She quickened her pace and walked to the door of the lab, reaching out for the handle. Vegeta saw that she was almost there and he sighed, slowing down a bit. "Fuck," he muttered, and began running after her.
Too late. Bulma slammed the door shut in his face and locked it behind her right as Vegeta reached the door. He grimaced at her through the little window and she just giggled and smiled sweetly at him. He banged his fist on the door and powered up a ball of energy in his other hand. "LET ME IN, ONNA, OR I'LL BREAK DOWN THIS DAMN DOOR!! I'll do it--!" he warned. Bulma's smile quickly faded into a bitter scowl.
"For God's sake, get a life!!" she screeched, muffled through the giant door. "YOU PUT A SINGLE SCRATCH ON THIS DOOR, VEGETA, AND I'LL--"
"--You'll what?" Vegeta smirked at her from the other side, the ball of energy getting bigger in his hand.
Bulma returned his smirk. "And I'll never cook for you again," she said casually, turning around and walking back to the SSJ4 brute ray gun.
Vegeta let the ball of energy fade in his hand and he growled. "WHAT??"
Bulma didn't respond. She hunched over at her project and began working without giving him another word. Vegeta was starting to get annoyed. "WOMAN!!!!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT HERE AND FIX MY GRAVITY MACHINE!!!" he yelled, causing the whole house to shake right down to the cement foundation. Bulma had already started busying herself on some screws around the barrel of the bulky gun, but she was really getting sick of Vegeta's yelling. She turned around again and shouted at him from her work spot.
"JEEZ, GO DO SOMETHINE ELSE AND JUST GIMME A MINUTE, WILL YOU?!?! I'M ALMOST DONE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS SSJ4 RAY GUN!" she screamed at him, waving the wrench about from where she sat at her lab desk. That was music to Vegeta's ears. It was almost finished?? So...he'd be able to go SSJ4 and maybe--possibly--be able to surpass that stupid Kakkarott at something?
"Well...what do you suggest I do in the meantime, you stupid baka?" he grunted, folding his arms and pouting.
Bulma screwed some nuts onto the machine and sighed. Even through that huge door, his gruff voice could be heard perfectly. "Vegeta, you Saiya-jins only do two things well: mess shit up and eat. I suggest you do the latter, seeing as you've already DESTROYED something of mine today," she called over her shoulder at him.
Vegeta smiled smugly. "At least you know the true extent of my power. And don't you forget it," he answered as he turned proudly and walked to the kitchen.
Bulma just sighed and rolled her eyes as she continued working with the delicate wires at the handle of the gun. "As if I could forget, Sire..." she quipped in a really non-sarcastic voice.
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Vegeta walked into the kitchen with his arms crossed. He scanned the whitewashed scene and snorted. The kitchen was always so baron of food, it made him sick. When he was a child on Vegeta-sai, food was always readily available to him. All he had to do was beckon one of the servants and they would bring him whatever his heart desired. But in this Kami-forsaken place, he had to make his OWN food sometimes and that, clearly, was just insane. Vegeta grumbled under his breath and ground his teeth together as he yanked cabinets open and slammed them shut angrily upon finding that they were bereft of sustenance.
"There's never ANY food in this damned house," he snarled, bending over and reaching under the sink to twirl the lazy Susan around and check its shelves for ANY sort of snack. The vertically challenged Saiya-jin stopped turning the device about when he noticed a jar of something sitting behind an empty shaker of salt. He grabbed it up and looked it over in his gloved hand. Peanut butter.
Vegeta squinted his eyes and grunted. Another stupid human invention. Why would one make butter from peanuts? Actually, he didn't want to complain. He only tolerated having the crap in his house because Bra liked it so much. Well, whatever.
Vegeta walked to the counter and flipped open the lid of the bread box and took out the Iron Kids bread because Iron Kids makes bones healthy and strong. ^_^
Vegeta stared off into space and fantasized about his transformation machine that was being tuned up in the lab. Would he really be able to pass Kakkarott? Not that he couldn't do it on his own...it was just that royalty shouldn't have to do anything for itself. Yeah...uh, that was it. Vegeta grabbed the jar of peanut butter as he leaned on his elbows over the counter and began to twist the lid, just daydreaming.
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"HEEEEEELP--!" cried the exasperated Kakkarott out on the battlefield. The big, goofy Saiya-jin was pinned beneath a pile of rocks, scraped and bloody. His opponent--a...big fluffy bunny...yeah, why not?--was advancing on him with a smirk upon his face. Hop...hop...hop...getting closer to the vulnerable Kakkarott.
Tears were streaming down the warrior's face and a yellow puddle formed beneath him. "Oh Kami, wha whaaaa--! WHYYYY?? WHY ME?? I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! BUT LORD, AM I A WIMP!! AND I'M STUPID TOO! If only I hadn't been such a baka and let Vegeta win all of the battles we faced together--maybe then I would have truly been a real Saiya-jin because we have to subjugate ourselves to the insurmountable power levels of the royals!!!"
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Vegeta smirked. There was absolutely no reason why he couldn't take some artistic license with this fantasy...
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Anyway...the bunny was advancing on Kakkarott. Then, out of nowhere, a flash came and a longhaired warrior with a blood-red aura fluxing about him stepped forward, his monkey tail swishing triumphantly in the wind. The man stood tall and proud, his fur turning inward on his chest in a powerful "V", standing for "victory". Yes, now that he was a Super Saiya-jin 4 level warrior, he could truly be victorious. The likes of which Kakkarott has NEVER seen!
"Oh, thank Kami! It's YOU, Vegeta!" the exasperated Kakkarott cried from beneath the rubble. The yellow puddle beneath the pathetic warrior, however, continued growing larger in size. The hot tears and snot that stained his face were a repulsive sight to anyone, especially a distinguished Saiya-jin prince...no, KING! Vegeta simply looked on at the third-class fool and flinched in disgust.
"Kakkarott, wipe that disgusting goo off of your face and quit whining! Why must I ALWAYS save you?" he leered.
"I'm sorry, Vegeta!" apologized the spiky-haired moron sitting in a puddle of his own liquid waste. "But ever since you've been able to go SSJ4, I just can't surpass your power!"
The big fluffy rabbit turned and glared at the powerful Saiya-jin King warrior. "So...Vegeta...do you want to die as well?" he slowly snarled, raising a lip in an intimidating fashion.
Vegeta glared back at the creature, his arms crossed across his chest proudly. Vegeta quickly sized his opponent up in his mind as the sorry excuse for a fighter, Kakkarott, tried to sneak away from the scene, whimpering and crying like an idiot. Just then, Vegeta de-materialized and faded away from the conflict. The rabbit was clearly startled. He looked about frantically, trying to sense the powerful, insuperable ki of the incredible fighter who he was matched against. Suddenly, Vegeta appeared behind the rabbit, kicking him directly where the brain stem and the spine meet, using his amazingly impressive speed and agility to de-materialize once more and appear in front of his opponent. The big, fluffy bunny fell forward, crying out in pain. But Vegeta simply smirked and held up a hand, preparing to do his trademark attack on the overgrown rodent.
"BIKA BAAAAAAAAAAANG ATTAAAAAAAAAAAACKU!" Vegeta yelled at the top of his lungs, shooting a beam of energy straight through the rabbit's chest. The thick blood of the defeated creature shot out of his back and burst forth from the hole in the front as the beam completely pierced his entire body, going straight through him and shooting triumphantly towards the heavens.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" wailed the animal as he fell down onto the ground, lying lifeless at the feet of the outstanding King who no one could beat if they tried.
"OH, VEGETA!" cried Kakkarott with starry eyes. "YOU'RE SO AMAZING!! I WISH I HAD THAT MUCH STRENGTH!! Will you beat me up now? It'd be an honor..." Kakkarott bowed his head and blushed, feeling humbled in the presence of such an authoritative figure.
Vegeta pensively scrutinized the warrior. "I'd love to," he replied coolly, an evil grin slowly spreading across his lips. Just then, a loud cry caused the two men to cast their glances away from one another and out across the battlegrounds.
"VEGETA!" cried the blue-haired woman dressed in a thong bikini as she ran out to him on the field. Bulma leapt into the arms of her favorite warrior and kissed him over and over. "I'm so impressed! I want to have sex now! You're incredible!!" she grinned.
Then Kakkarott's mate came out and offered him lots of her home-cooked food, and then Vegeta's son, Trunks, started training again instead of wasting his precious Saiya-jin blood by doing something stupid like maintaining Capsule Corporation, and then the idiot monk guy came out and voluntarily committed suicide, and then Goten was sealed off into a cave for all eternity. And Vegeta and Bulma had sex too.
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Vegeta smiled to himself, pleased with the way his little fantasy had turned out. And all because he had been able to go SSJ4...
Vegeta grunted slightly when he realized that he was still working on the jar of peanut butter. It wouldn't open. He must have been daydreaming to the maximum to not notice something like that. On any normal day, the jar would have been completely obliterated by now. The short man looked down at the jar in confusion. Man, Bra had really used her Saiya-jin strength to close the damned thing the last time she had gotten some of the peanut butter out. The lid was screwed on really tightly. Vegeta was proud of his daughter for a brief instant before realizing that she was preventing him from getting something to eat. The thought actually started to piss him off a little.
Vegeta clenched his teeth together and started exerting more force into it. He strained and pulled and grunted lightly, all to no avail. Jeez...she must've REALLY not wanted Trunks to touch her favorite brown condiment.
Vegeta frowned and stepped away from the jar, cursing angrily under his breath. He smirked and began yelling loudly, changing over into SSJ mode. His hair rose and twisted into huge blonde locks as his muscles bulked up slightly from the crossover. The white aura that surrounded him surged with small volts of electricity as he stepped forward towards the jar again and smirked down upon it.
"Now..." he hissed to the inanimate object sitting before him, "you will NOT get the better of me."
The blood flowing through his veins turned to something relative to hot lava, and he yelled with that low, growling voice of his, steadily increasing his power level. Vegeta stared dangerously at the plastic container from hell that sat upon the counter, swearing vengeance on its stubbornness and unwillingness to open up and allow him to partake of the delicious creamy contents deep within the bowels of the jar.
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Bra was cutting out pictures of the latest teen heartthrob in a magazine when she heard yelling coming from downstairs. She looked up and listened, squinting her eyes, straining to hear what was going on. Were mom and dad having another fight? Vegeta's muffled cursing could be heard and a smile slowly started spreading across Bra's lips. He was ranting about something again. She loved her Papa and everything, but it sure was funny to listen to him rant. It was usually about something dumb; from how Bulma had undercooked the chicken at dinner, to uncle "Kakkarott's" stupidity, to how annoying the rabbits who lived in the bushes in the front yard were for always making a show of their mating cycles. Bra laughed to herself and shook her head as she continued cutting out the oh-so dreamy picture of Justin DiCaprio Van Der Martin.
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Goten and Trunks were in Trunks' room watching some cooking show with lidded eyes, looking very bored.
"Then you take the carrots and chop them up in a diagonal cut, like so...it really comes in handy for that classic look of the Orient..." the fat woman continued as she sliced and diced up the Technicolor ingredients and made artistic displays of sushi and other fanciful delights.
Goten and Trunks whimpered. Soooo huuuuungry...but Bulma had distinctly told them not to eat anything too early because she had a big victory dinner planned that night. Sort of a meal of honor dedicated to who-else-but-herself as congratulations for finishing the SSJ4 machine. Suddenly, Trunks' eyes popped open and he sat up as he felt an abnormal ki in the house. "Hey, Goten..." he murmured. His best friend pried his tired eyes away from the TV and looked over at him in silence. "D'you feel that?" he asked. Goten stared at him stupidly with his half-asleep eyes and shook his head slowly.
Trunks frowned and smacked his best friends' forehead. "How 'bout now?" he asked, using his inherited royal smirk. Goten's male aggression reared its ugly head at that moment and he lunged at Trunks. "HEY, MAN, DON'T HIT ME!" he grunted. The two boys rolled around on the floor, snickering and attempting to pin one another, when Trunks kicked Goten firmly in the shin.
"Cut it out, man, I was serious. I think my tousan went SSJ down there or somethi--" Trunks was cut off by an explosion from downstairs. Then the angry cursing and ranting of Vegeta could be heard from underneath Trunks' bedroom door.
Goten rolled into a sitting position and rubbed his shin. "Shit, dude..." he groaned in disbelief. "Wasn't that your dad?"
Trunks stood up and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, it was...boy, he sounds PISSED."
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Goten and Trunks glanced at each other. Their eyes grew wide with the sudden realization that they hadn't played a prank on Vegeta-san in years. He was already angry, and watching him become even more traumatized due to their little tactics was even funnier to observe. The two best friends hopped up and quietly crept out of the bedroom to plan an attack on the poor powder keg, Vegeta-san. Hey, they say that maturity comes with age...but they were, after all, half Saiya-jin, which means that they mature at a slower rate than everybody else...eh heh heh.
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Vegeta stood poised in front of the jar with his arm outstretched before him, as if warning the peanut butter that he'd launch another ki attack if it didn't obey him. The walls of the kitchen that stood about him were singed and blackened from his powerful attack. He heaved angrily, his soul burning up like an oily rag inside of him. His mind raced back to his anatomy studies when he was a child on Vegeta-sai...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"The Saiya-jin body holds nineteen stomachs in all," the distinguished old professor said as he fixed the glasses upon his nose and read from the rather large book that he held in his rather large hand. "Yep, nineteen stomachs. Vegeta, you're a Saiya-jin, therefore, you have nineteen stomachs inside of you. Ain't that too nutty? Yyyyyyyyep...nineteen stomachs. Whoo boy, doesn't get any crazier than that, huh? Nineteen stomachs....stomachs...stomachs.....stomachs...'omachs...'omachs...'chs...'chs....."
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Vegeta's mind raced back to his current situation and he shook his head violently. Nineteen stomachs--?? NINETEEN STOMACHS!!!!! And all of his were EMPTY at the moment!! And it was all due to this jar...this lousy, insignificant, HUMAN-MADE JAR!!!! It was preventing him from eating ONE STUPID SNACK!!!! Oh, the sheer AUDACITY of this peanut butter--!!
Vegeta's brain was literally throbbing within his skull...he couldn't keep this up. This was absolutely insane... He had to sustain his life! But due to the lack of food in the kitchen, the jar of peanut butter was his only means of getting anything to eat! And even his ki attack hadn't worked!
Vegeta ground his teeth, enraged, and gathered all of the energy from every nerve ending inside of his body. His cells rushed through his veins at top speed and carried all of the power in his Saiya-jin blood throughout his appendages. He crossed over into the other Saiya-jin power level!! He was now a level 2 Super Saiya-jin!!
The mighty warrior faced the jar and sucked in a frustrated breath through his teeth. "YOU PATHETIC...PIECE OF SHIT..." he spat. "HOW DARE YOU..."
Trunks and Goten hopped quietly down the long staircase and stifled their giggles as they heard the angry cursing from Vegeta in the kitchen. They had both weighed the pros and cons of pissing Vegeta-san off in their minds and had come to the conclusion that they were bored, and as the unwritten adolescent rule goes, when you're bored, that gives you the license to do pretty much anything. As they neared the entrance, they peered 'round the corner and saw a very muscular Vegeta standing with his back to them, panting heavily. They both burst into giggles at his anger, but he was too focused to notice them.
Trunks turned to Goten with a childish grin wiped across his features. "What should we do?"
Goten hopped giddily and giggled. "WE SHOULD POUR OIL ON THE FLOOR SO THAT HE'LL SLIP ON IT WHEN HE LEAVES!" he hurriedly suggested.
Trunks grinned and reached around the corner onto the counter, where his mother always kept her olive oil. It was a simple prank, of course...but a classic at that. The trick was how to get it directly behind Vegeta-san to where he wouldn't notice.
Goten nudged him from behind, unable to control himself. "DIDJU GET IT DIDJU GET IT DIDJU GET IT--" Goten asked in a quiet, but still happy and stupid voice. Trunks batted his hand angrily at Goten's arm and shushed him.
"SHHHHHHHH--UT UP, GOTEN!" he warned as he turned around and faced his father again. "Do you wanna do this or get killed?" he asked quietly. Goten immediately shut his mouth.
Trunks pushed his ki down as he slowly tiptoed out into the kitchen. Suddenly, Vegeta let out another primal scream and Trunks, before he could take another step or think about anything else, ducked behind the wall again and handed the bottle to Goten. "YOU do it--!" he insisted.
Goten frowned. Trunks' tousan had always scared the crap out of him, to be honest, but there was no way he was going to admit that to his buddy. He shoved the bottle back into Trunks' arms and shook his head. "Dude, he's YOUR dad, YOU do it!"
Trunks glared at him and threw it back to Goten. "No, YOU," he muttered again.
Goten glared back. "NO WAY! YOU!!"
Just then, another explosion of power erupted from the kitchen as Vegeta passed another Super Saiya-jin level and blasted up to his ultimate challenge. ENOUGH. WAS. ENOUGH. A man could only take so much food deprivation. It was mind numbing. He swore that he was starting to hallucinate. First it was a dancing fox taunting him with a peanut the size of a toilet seat and, oh god--! It was too much!!!! Damn peanut butter. This was it. This was absolutely maniacally moronic.
Vegeta spread his feet out across the floor more and evenly distributed his weight out on his strong frame. He cried out in angst and began to power up even more. He knew that he was risking a lot...he wasn't used to forcing himself to surpass SSJ2... He hadn't really prepared for it. It took lots of training and concentration. But this was just crazy, and he knew it.
Trunks and Goten forgot about their small prank as they peeked around the corner again, making sure that Vegeta wasn't giving himself a stroke.
Actually, a stroke would have been a more comforting sight to behold. Vegeta's veins were throbbing uncontrollably in his forehead as he screamed out in passionate fury, glaring daggers at the jar on the countertop. Trunks and Goten glanced back and forth in between the insane man and the...........jar of peanut butter?
Trunks cocked an eyebrow and whispered to Goten. "Is he...yelling at a jar of peanut butter?"
Goten was as dumbfounded as his lavender-haired counterpart. He nodded dumbly in response. "It looks that way."
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Bra was cutting out another picture from her magazine when she (FINALLY, geez) felt a strange power downstairs. She looked up over her poised scissors and squinted. "Wha-the..." she muttered under her breath. She stared at her half-open door for a moment, trying to see if anything would happen. When nothing did, the girl with the blue tresses simply shrugged and went back to cutting out pictures.
Just then, the bottles of perfume and make-up that had been organized neatly on the chest of drawers in the corner began to vibrate like crazy, jingling against each other and eventually crashing down onto the floor, spilling the sticky, rose-smelling crap all over the place. Bra shot up into an alert position and leaped off of the bed. "ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE?!?!" she cried in a frenzy. Her room was slowly distorting from its usual arrangement as the furniture crawled about the room, moved by the small tremors surging through the domain.
Bra knew what to do. She dashed to her doorway and pressed her forearms against the frame as she positioned her feet at the bottom corners of the door. That ought to do it. She smirked and mentally patted herself on the back for her street smarts. Oh, the simple genius of it all. She had known to get in such a safe place. Good for her.
Suddenly, a small creaking was heard; the crumbling of foundation. Bra raised an eyebrow. "Ohr--?"
"...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
The floor beneath Bra completely gave at that moment and the girl plummeted from her "safe" spot down several floors, eventually crashing into the living room. And how ironic--the area beneath the doorway was the only part that gave out.
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The boys downstairs ducked behind a couch at the sound of the crash behind them. "SHIT, DUDE, NOW EVERYTHING IS FALLING DOWN, DUUUDE!!! SHIT!!!" Goten cried.
Trunks crawled beneath the coffee table and whimpered. "DUUUUDE...THIS IS IT!!!! MY DAD IS GONNA MAKE THE HOUSE FALL DOWN ON US!!!!! FUUUCK!!!"
Goten peered over through the falling debris at his friend. "I KNOW!!! ...Aw, dude...!!! SHIIIIIIT!!!!!" he yelled back over all the earsplitting crumbling.
Trunks locked his sapphire blue eyes with his best friend's deep black orbs. He gazed lovingly into the other man's soul windows and wetted his lips with his tongue, panting lightly through all of the dust as more objects fell from above. "You know..." he said loudly over the ruins crashing all about them, "if we don't make it out of this...I just wanted to tell you that I...[gulp] love...you..."
Goten stared blankly at his friend and blinked. Trunks looked away, blushing furiously.
"WHAT??" Goten shouted over all of the noise.
Trunks snapped his head back in the direction Goten was in with wide eyes. "WHAT WHAT??" he asked.
Goten pointed to his ears. "I CAN'T HEAR YA, MAN, DID YOU STOP TALKING??" he questioned.
Trunks blushed even more and grinned nervously, "Uhhh, dude, I never said anything to begin with!! HEH HEH HEH HEH..."
Trunks looked away, feeling ashamed of his lack of courage. "You fool," he scolded himself, "you have to tell him sooner or later!! Just like Barbara Streisand and Celine Deion said...'just tell him'..." Trunks began to daydream and stare wistfully into space when he looked to his right, noticing his little sister crawling from the pile of broken cement next to him.
Bra rubbed her head and groaned. "Ohhh, my head..." she muttered.
Poor Bra's headache didn't get any better, as another tumultuous shattering occurred, smashing everything around the three demi-Saiya-jins. They fell back and cowered for cover, whimpering helplessly.
Vegeta felt his heart pounding the heat through him. It HURT. He tossed his head back as he felt a painful surge of energy crash through him like an angry, vengeful ocean. This was it. The climax that he had been waiting for was upon him. It hit him like a thousand orgasms and he felt his soul's vigor and strength just lifting out of him and shooting towards the sky, surging throughout the cosmos in an array of spectacular lights and passionate fire. Explosions of emotion--intense emotions like anger, passion, love, hatred, jealousy, angst, sexuality--were sent ablaze in the plane that he didn't reside. He had transcended his senses and reached an all-new level of understanding within each level of being that there could possibly be. He existed not only as a body, but as a heart, a mind, and a soul. He had conquered the universe and made it his bitch!!!!!
He didn't really remember what happened next. Truly, the only thing he knew was that he was on his knees, his head leaned back as he panted ferociously, the mucus and spittle frothing from his mouth growing cold upon his chin. His hand was outstretched before the opponent which he had felt more hatred towards than Furieza; more despise towards than those damned androids; than Cell; than Evil Buu...IT WAS THAT PEANUT BUTTER...it had to have been destroyed. When he overcame the numbness that racked his head, he leaned forward and wiped the vile muck off of his face.
Vegeta panted lightly as he grinned at the sight in front of him. The jar of peanut butter had been blasted open and the brown goo was charred black, spread out all over the countertop before him. He laughed lightly under his breath. "I...I did it..." he gently breathed to himself.
Goten and Trunks peeked around the wall in disbelief at the man kneeling in the kitchen. Actually, he wasn't like a man at all. He was more like an ape. A hairy, reddish-colored ape with a powerful "V" across his chest. The two young men looked at each other with their mouths gaping open. Vegeta had reached the highest level of Super Saiya-jin right in front of them. Super Saiya-jin level four...
"What's going on??!" Bra called as she ran up behind the two. She rushed to the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes growing wide at the sight of her powerful father. She paused for a few moments to take in the realization that her father had done what he had wanted to finally... Bra smiled slowly, feeling a happy glow growing inside of her. She was proud of him. Her father had managed once again to impress her. "Ohhh, congratulations, papa!" she whispered quietly as she took another step forward to get a better look at the mighty Saiya-jin.
Bulma swung the door of the laboratory open ferociously and clenched an oily screwdriver in her hand, panicked. "MY KAMI, I HEARD AN EXPLOSION AND ALL THESE HORRIBLE CRASHES OUT HERE!!! WHAT HAPPENED???!" she cried.
Trunks, Goten, and Bra turned to her. Bra just looked awed and Goten and Trunks' mouths were still ajar in shock. Bulma looked at them all in worry. "WHAT??" she asked, terrified. "WAS IT VEGETA? IS HE OKAY??" she pushed past them all and looked into her kitchen that was now in shambles. She nearly choked on her own tongue. The walls were traced with black outlines, burnt and ashy, and the fixtures and appliances were all either hanging loosely from the ceiling or completely crushed. And in the middle of all that rubble sat her baka husband: the SSJ4 level warrior. Bulma's jaw almost hit the floor. HE HAD DONE IT ON HIS OWN!!!!! AFTER MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED MAN-HOURS, HE HAD JUST DONE THE DEED ALL BY HIMSELF...!!!!
Bulma frowned fiercely and screamed at the top of her lungs.
"VEGETAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!!"
She turned and threw the screwdriver as hard as she could into the lab at the now-obsolete SSJ4 ray gun. "WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED THIS--!!!!" she yelled. The screwdriver hit the bulky machine and made a ding in the circuit box on the side, causing the wires to slice open and become frayed. The electricity surged freely from the openings and wrapped around the metal exterior of the transformation device. With that, the entire thing just blew up, shattering glass beakers and little experimental devices that had been sitting around the room. "I'M TAKIN' A BATH..." muttered an angry Bulma as she trudged up the stairs to the bathroom. She paused. "A LONG BATH," she added.
Bra turned back to her father and face faulted upon the floor, laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face. Goten and Trunks looked at her in disgust, but then slowly started to laugh as well. It actually was pretty funny to think about. And it all happened because Vegeta had been able to go SSJ4. Poor Bulma...
Vegeta was still on his knees in the kitchen, staring at the obliterated jar before him, feeling the power surging about him. He grinned. This was how it was supposed to feel when a Saiya-jin reached an all-new level of power. He made a mental note at that point: peanut butter really wasn't all that useless after all.......for a human invention, that is.
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THE END
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