The Immortals

Starring Lenni and Bekki

Lenni: Brought together by fate, our immortal heroes meet again for the very. First. Time.

Bekki: What? Again? For the very first time AGAIN? How is that possible?

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Clare (2:34:15 PM): "HAPPY BEAVA EVERYONE!"

Happi Beava (2:34:21 PM): "lol"

Clare (2:34:34 PM): "-cough- people... introduce yourselves"

Lenni (2:34:41 PM): "I'm Mr Tibblz."

Happi Beava (2:34:45 PM): "Lenni?"

Lenni (2:34:48 PM): "No. Mr. Tibblz."

Clare (2:34:53 PM): "Yes, she's Lenni."

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Lenni: Yes, that's how they met. Lenni and Happi Beava. Our immortal heroes... What?

Bekki: My names fucking Bekki, not Happi Beava, you faggot. Lenni, let me tell the goddamn story.

Lenni: NooooooOooooooooooooOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooo!!1111one

Bekki: ...

Fine.

Lenni: Okay, so me and Bekki met in that chat room properly though we'd spoken for a brief while on Maximum Ride and... maybe myspace, I don't know. And we became immortal from...

Bekki: We're not telling them how, Lenni, fuck do you want more people to spend eternity with? Fucking hell.

Lenni: Anyway! So here I am minding my own business in America, with that cunt sitting on her ass in Australia and poof! We became immortal. (That secretive enough, fuckface? Bekki: ...yeah, Lenni, that's great -.-)

Lenni: So then we realized we couldn't die—kinda defines immortality but yeah, that wasn't good cause of course we're both half way insane. So Bekki dropped out of school since she was failing, left her boyfriend and friends and family and fucking everything and caught a plane to America to see me. Now I was lying when I said I was immortal—in response to Bekki being all emo about being unable to die—and she was pretty pissed when she found out.

Bekki: Yeah, that knife went straight through your throat, Lenn. Sorry, bout that.

Lenni: Um, yeah—she tried to kill me, guys. That's how I discovered the secret to immortality.

Bekki: What, 'cause I immortalized you and then told you? Some freaking discovery, love.

Lenni: -.- stfu, bitch.

Bekki: Whore.

Lenni: Fuck you. So here I am, suddenly immortal cause of this crazy fucker and I say to myself, 'yay!' I mean who wouldn't? So me and Bekki were okay after she let that anger go—the stabbing thing, yeah, that anger—and we started going looking for 'trouble,' you could say.

Bekki: We robbed a few banks, killed some rich people, generally broke every law written if it meant getting some money and power.

Lenni: Shh, don't tell them.

Bekki: Lenni, we own the fucking world, what does it matter? We re-wrote the laws centuries ago.

Lenni: You ruin my fun.

Bekki: It's the fun-stamping, I just can't stop.

Lenni: Okay then, so we got pretty much everything we wanted, lived on whim and generally trashed people we didn't like, organizations, politicians... it's a pretty long list. Of course, people were coming after us from pretty early on, but we couldn't die, and keeping from getting caught is surprisingly easy when that pesky 'fear of pain and death' thing is removed. We had weapons, and when my morals got in the way Bekki's didn't—when she got too trigger-happy—I shot her a couple of times.

Bekki: I wasn't trigger-happy. You just felt like shooting me. -.-

Lenni: I TELL THE STORY, BITCH!

Bekki: Shut it, it's my turn! We did a lot of acting, pretending to be twins/ sisters/ cousins, since we could pretty much pass for it. We can look pretty innocent for mass-murderers. Even when we got famous, people never suspected we were the people on the news, and when the informants started dying the people got scared.

Lenni: This is where it got REALLY fun.

Bekki: Yes'm. We started getting worshippers. Like for serious, fanatic-style, religious nuts—and they believed we were goddesses. T'was fucking awesome, I can tell you. We started shaping the world the way we wanted. A sexy mix of our beliefs, and it worked well—I'm the psycho so I let Lenni set the limits and everything was fine.

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Lenni (9:10:34 PM): "I feel it's best to stop doing a puzzle when you start crying when the piece doesn't fit in the spot you want it to go."

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Bekki: Wise words, Lenni, very wise. We were trying to solve a pretty big gap in our beliefs (I won't say what), but it wasn't going well. So we were racing each other at a puzzle... and Lenni gave up. Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I won—I got bored and went in search of some minions to play Monopoly with. God, I love Monopoly.

So yeah, that law never got solved—we decided we'd deal with shit as it came. But it created tension alright. We weren't as close any more and we started getting into fights and being stupid mortal humans our minions thought 'wouldn't it be great if they were divided?' Faggots.

So we got in a bit of a tiff and took different halves of the world and a shitload of pointless wars started and consumed the world—not! Wtf? You think we don't care about the environment at all? We got into fights and bitched at each other and yelled and screamed and threw one another into the deepest part of the ocean or into an active volcano, yada yada yada. It was all very dramatic.

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Lenni (8:11:29 PM): "Why won't u DIEEE?"

Happi Beava (8:11:31 PM): "-cries- I cant'!"

Bekki: Yup, it was just like that.

Lenni (8:12:01 PM): "U dead yet?"

Happi Beava (8:12:31 PM): "No."

Lenni (8:12:42 PM): "Shit."

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Bekki: And that too.

Lenni: But eventually we sorted our shit out. (I'm bored. Wanna fuck up some societies? Yeah kay.) And the world was ours once more. We made some new species (Man-eating lemurs, Cuddlemuffin the Second—you don't wanna know what sorta animal Cuddlemuffin the Second was) and generally just had fun being immortal.

Bekki: So here we are; bored as fucking hell since we know everything and have done EVERYTHING. Yes, even that. Lots of that. Do you even know what 'that' is? No, not that. God! We are immortal fucking beings! We have better things to do than that.

Lenni: ...Not really... we do do lots of that...

Bekki: LENNI!