Disclaimer - I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.
Rating - Mature Audiences ONLY
Story Warnings - Emotional distress due to embarrassment, Swearing, Sexual innuendoes, Mention of things readers may find insulting, disgusting, or otherwise nasty (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Pairings - None with implied OT4. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Universe - 2003
Ages - Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are all of the equivalent age of 21. (I made them this age to account for time passage in the series storyline.)
Summary - For their entire lives, Mikey's brothers have been on the receiving end of the youngest turtle's pranks. With Splinter once again visiting the Daimyo, it was the perfect opportunity for a little turtle revenge. The only thing Leo, Raph, and Donnie had forgotten to take into consideration was the ever present, ever fickle Fate, and her overabundance of Turtle Luck.
Author's notes - This was written for the Writer's Nexus July 2016 Dumb Turtle Luck Challenge.
Story credits - TV animated series : Kim Possible
Be Careful What You Wish, For It Will Bite You
The one thing Splinter truly missed every time he returned from the Nexus was those small, toffee flavored, pastry puffs sold at the family owned bakery closest to the battle arena. Every time, he would crave them for days after his return, sometimes weeks, and once he had caught himself daydreaming about their succulent flavor a month after his return.
But not this time, oh no, this time the ninja master brought some back with him.
The returning rat pulled the last treat from a small, paper bag, popping it into his mouth with a well satisfied sigh. Those puffs were divine.
After tucking the empty bag inside his travel satchel, Splinter closed the flap, giving it a little pat. The two additional bags hidden in the bottom of the satchel underneath his extra kimonos should last him a few days, as long as he kept his youngest son out of them, which he fully intended to do.
After all, even a rat, ninja master, father was entitled to his guilty pleasures too.
Splinter entered the main living area of the lair, expecting to see if not all four of his sons, at least one of them. He found none. The room was empty, the TV array dark and silent.
The ninja master felt a sudden, overwhelming sense of deja vu.
Once before when Splinter had returned from visiting the Daimyo, the ninja master had found his home dark and quiet with all four of his sons sitting in the kitchen. An untouched pizza lay on the table in front of them, and each one was sporting a minor injury of some kind from a variety of freak accidents. The ultimate reason for his sons' wounded states had been nothing more than a mixture of boredom, youth, gender, and a mind set of 'it seemed like a good idea at the time,' at the time.
Not necessarily a good thing if you wanted to stay healthy. The four brothers could attest to that.
Splinter hoped they had matured at least a little since then, but from the looks of the lair, it was doubtful.
"Those four are going to give me white fur, I just know it," the rat grumbled. "Or worse, be the reason I have no fur at all. Most likely from my pulling it out by the roots. Who ever heard of a bald rat?" Splinter continued grousing as he headed for the kitchen. "I will go to my grave a naked rat. Michelangelo will start calling me Rufus. Kids!"
Entering the kitchen, Splinter didn't find quite what he had expected, but it was close enough he had to bite back a groan. Honestly, the old rat hadn't been quite sure WHAT to expect, but seeing his most carefree son whistling, and dancing around the kitchen while fixing dinner was not it. Seeing his three more level-headed sons sitting at the table once again wrapped in bandages, however was.
Only this time it was Leonardo who sat on the fluffiest pillow the family owned with his tail swathed in white gauze. Raphael was holding an ice pack to his chin with another tied to his ankle. Donatello seemed to be uninjured, but based on Splinter's previous homecoming, looks were at times deceiving.
"Must I take the four of you with me whenever I leave to visit the Nexus?" Splinter sighed. "If so, I believe it would be rather embarrassing for everyone involved." The ninja master had to make a conscious effort to hold back from making further comment.
Mikey turned around, a huge, sparkling grin plastered on his face. "Oh, hey Sensei! You're early! I was hoping to have the pineapple upside down cake done before you got home!" The sea green turtle threw in an over exaggerated pout for good measure, and dramatic effect before his trademark grin returned. "Did you have a good visit with the Daimyo?"
Splinter narrowed his eyes at his son, his eyebrows furrowing. "Michelangelo, THAT has not worked on me since you were three years old. What has happened to the four of you in my absence THIS time? And it had better not have involved sexual protection devices of any kind!"
Turning to face his father, Mikey turned on the charm. "Well, we did..." Seeing Splinter's unamused expression, Mikey's flippant comment about IUDs died on his lips. "Umm, no. I don't think there was any sex stuff involved this time," Mikey tilted his head, giving the matter some serious thought. "No. No sex stuff this time, just paint, cactuses..."
"Cacti," Donnie automatically corrected.
"Yeah, those too. A wedding set up, some chili, a cat. But not Klunk!" the sea green turtle was quick to point out. "A dance club, some feather pillows, a few old guys, and a jock strap. Oh! There was a bra too! Does that count as sex stuff, or clothes?" Splinter's scowl deepened. "We still have it if you want to see it, it's in the lab," Mikey pointed in the general direction. "I had to get it untangled from Donnie's..."
"MIKEY! Not now!" the olive turtle shouted, then cringed, leaning forward to rest his head in the palm of his hand. "Oohh, bad idea, Don. Really. REALLY bad idea," he muttered.
"Donatello, my son?" Concerned, Splinter started to move around Raphael towards his genius son.
"He'll be okay, Sensei. It's just a headache."
Splinter hadn't noticed before the cloth Mikey now removed from the back of Donnie's neck. "A headache?" he asked, watching as the youngest ran the cloth under cold water before returning it to his brother's neck.
"Yeah," Mikey was very sympathetic. "Slamming head first into a metal light pole tends to do that. Ask me how I know."
Splinter's eyes widened. "A metal LIGHT POLE?"
Donnie didn't even bother to move, let alone answer.
"Mh-hm," Mikey nodded.
"He kinda didn't see it," Raph mumbled.
Splinter leaned in, taking a closer look at his emerald son. The rat blinked, then reached out, brushing his fingers along the back of Raphael's shell. "And why did Donatello not see the metal light pole?" Splinter asked, letting a single, pink tinged, and slightly damp feather fall from his fingers to the floor.
"Looks like ya missed one, bro!" Mikey chirped out as if it was the most common thing on the face of the planet for your rat father to pluck a pink feather off of your brother's carapace.
Mikey COULD have had the decency to cringe at least a little under the hot head's glare. This was all HIS fault anyway! Annoying, prank playing, boneheaded, overly flexible, dumb luck wielding, ninja brat!
"Donnie had a pillowcase over his head."
Splinter had a hard time wrapping his head around that. He said the only thing that made any kind of sense. "Was alcohol involved?"
"No, Sensei!" Leo adamantly denied, with Raph trying to figure out whether to nod or shake his head in agreement.
"How..." Splinter's eyebrows crept up his forehead. "How long before the evening meal is ready, Michelangelo?" he asked after giving up on trying to understand why his most brilliant son ran head first into metal light pole wearing a pillowcase on his head.
The ninja master wasn't even going to guess, or try to imagine what lead up to that. He was just going to wait for the explanation. He had a sneaking suspicion it was going to be a doozy.
"Mmm, 'bout an hour, give or take."
Splinter nodded, taking a seat. "Good. The tale of your... adventures... would be the perfect way to pass the time. Would it not, Leonardo?"
The leader's mouth was working, but no words were coming out. Leo looked as if his father had just suggested the leaf green turtle marry Karai, and the entire family pack up to move in with the Shredder.
Why was HE ALWAYS the one picked to explain these embarrassing situations?
Oh, right, that whole leader thing.
At least he hadn't been the one to start it, THIS time.
Wrong.
He HAD started it. This whole mess had been his idea.
Again.
Damn.
Leo glanced across the table at Donnie and Raph. Donnie hadn't moved since shouting at Mikey, and Raph was giving his oldest brother 'THE LOOK'.
The one that said, 'Sucks to be you.'
"Leonardo?"
"Hai, Sensei," Leo muttered, running a hand over the back of his head. "Umm... It all started as soon as you left..."
"Okay, Fearless. Splinter's gone. Da knucklehead's plugged inta da TV, an' me an' Don're right here. Whaddaya want?"
Leo turned around, and fixed his brothers with an intense, calculating look. "How would you two like to pull the ultimate prank... on Mikey?"
Raph, having been the orange ninja's favorite prank target for years, was immediately interested. "Whatcha got in mind, Leo?"
"Before I commit myself to something that may very well end with all of my spare bandanas encased in a mound of lime Jell-O, I want details."
Leo kept his smirk to himself. If Donatello was really worried about their youngest brother's retaliation, the olive skinned ninja would have simply walked away. Staying and listening to Leo's plan was Donnie-speak for, 'Count me in.'
"How would you guys like to get a little satisfaction for all of the pranks Mikey's ever played on us? Haven't you ever wished, just ONCE, to see HIM on the receiving end?"
Raph and Donnie looked at each other. They knew whatever Leo had planned wasn't going to end well, but damn, their oldest brother knew them well.
Too well.
It was just too tempting to resist.
But by gosh, Donnie was going to try.
"Leo, do I have to give you the probability of success for this borderline insane endeavor, or would it suffice for me to just say it has a snowball's chance in Hell? You're talking about a prank of epic proportions, and anything of THAT magnitude that involves Mikey in any way tends to bite everyone involved, with the exception of Mikey, in the ass."
"You said you wanted to hear details before deciding." Donnie rolled his eyes at his oldest brother, sometimes he hated being the smart one, most especially when it backfired on him. "Besides, wouldn't you like the chance for a little revenge on Mikey for the last prank he played? I do!"
"I dunno, Leo," Raph grinned. "Felt kinda good ta me."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't YOUR ass that burned for three days straight," Leo snapped.
"That's just because you're allergic to peppermint extract, Leo. If Mikey had used spearmint extract in the lube, the effects wouldn't have lasted any longer for you than it did for Raph," Donnie struggled to hide his grin as he tried to placate their furious leader.
"Probably wouldn't have felt as good dough," Raph smirked.
"Mikey KNEW I'm allergic," Leo scowled. "Just like he knew you don't like spicy food when he put the cayenne pepper juice in the toothpaste."
Backfired AGAIN!
Donnie sighed, resigning himself. "What's your plan?"
"Whatever it is, it better be good, 'cause Mikey's no slouch when it comes ta pranks. He can smell 'em a mile away."
Leo smirked.
Hook.
Line.
Sinker.
"I've been planning this ever since Sensei announced he was going to visit the Daimyo. Now, here's what we're going to do..."
Splinter held up a hand, silencing his son. "Am I to understand, you three injured yourselves in an attempt to prank your brother?"
"Hai, Sensei," the three said in unison.
"Michelangelo, are YOU injured in any way?"
"Nope! I'm perfectly a-okay!"
Seeing his father slowly lift an eyebrow, Leo just KNEW there was going to be a lecture at the end of this, and he was fairly sure he wasn't going to like it.
"Please continue, Leonardo."
"I explained the plan to Raph and Don. We took turns distracting Mikey so the others could set up the pranks along the route to the game shop. It took a while to get things set up, since we could only work at night. So, we were only able to pull the prank last night, just before you were to come home."
Splinter stopped his son once again. "Pranks? Leonardo, you said this was a SINGLE prank."
"Actually Sensei, it was a prank made up of multiple smaller pranks," Donnie clarified. "We went out and set up smaller individual pranks along the route to the game shop as part of the larger one."
"I see."
Splinter calmly stroked his beard.
"Were you each aware of the pranks your brothers had set up?"
And that was why the rat was the one called 'Master'.
It had taken their father seconds to figured out the one major flaw in their ultimate plan.
"We all knew WHAT the pranks were, but not exactly WHERE they were set up."
"Woah. Dudes, like epic fail on that one."
"No kidding!" Raph growled.
"We know that, NOW, Mikey," Donnie groaned, cradling his head.
Mikey shook his head, removing the cloth from his brother's neck to rewet it. "Man, I thought I'd taught you guys better than THAT."
Everyone caught Splinter's amused snort before the rat tried, unsuccessfully, to turn it into a cough.
"Leonardo, please continue."
"Hai, Sensei."
Leo opened the newspaper, setting aside the sport section for Raph, the comic section for Mikey, and the business section for Donnie. He kept the front page for himself. He perused the headlines while waiting patiently for his brothers to make an appearance before setting the trap to catch a certain orange banded turtle in the ultimate prank.
"Mikey, didn't you say something about wanting that game Doom?"
"Yeah, but there's no reason to buy it now. Our system's messed up, and Donnie said he needs some internal parts to fix it. He hasn't been able to find any of those systems in any of the junkyards, probably because they're still so new, and he said there's some kind of security feature built into this new version, so he can't patch the parts from any of the spare systems we have to make it work."
Leo could tell from his baby brother's lengthy explanation Mikey wasn't as dismissive about the entire situation as his words implied. He also knew Mikey had been doing detailed city sketches for April to sell in her shop as a means to earn the money needed to purchase that particular game.
The blue ninja had to struggle to keep a straight face. "Well, according to this, your favorite game shop is having some kind of competition with a chance to get the game for half price, along with a brand new, limited edition, gaming system for free."
Leo barely moved in time to keep from being dive bombed when Mikey lunged for the paper. The sea green turtle literally planted himself in Leo's lap, reading the game shop's ad for himself.
"I got enough! If it's half price, I got enough!"
Leo grunted as his baby brother bounced around, and Mikey's tail thrummed against the leaf green turtle's lower plastron in excitement.
Donnie set the section of the paper he was reading on the table. "Leo said something about a competition?" he nonchalantly took a sip from his mug. "What do you have to do to enter?"
"Uh...Duh-duh-duh... I have to take a picture of the final screen shot down to the shop to prove my high score on Furi, and if my score is higher than the 'champ's'," Mikey made air quotes with one hand. "I get the system and game half off."
Leo grinned at Donnie and Raph around the back of Mikey's head. The gamester may have gotten the details a little mixed up, but the hook had been set.
Which was all that mattered.
"How can dey do dat? Dey'd end up losin' money."
Leo blinked. Had Raph forgotten this was a PRANK?
"The ad says it's an overstock promotion..." Mikey looked up at Donnie, eyeridges furrowed. "I'm with Raph. Why would they do that, Don? These systems are hot commodities right now, everyone wants one, no matter the price."
Leo felt a stab of panic, his grin instantly falling away. This was getting bad, quick. He had overlooked the possibility that Mikey might question the too good to be true promotion. In his anticipation of getting a little of his own back for the peppermint extract prank, Leo had only taken his gamer brother's easily predicted, over the top excitement into consideration. Luckily, the blue banded turtle wasn't in this pranking plot alone.
Donnie and Raph were both good at thinking on the fly.
But Donnie was better.
"Tech moves at a rapid pace, Mikey. By the time they sold half of those systems at suggested retail price, the next upgrade would be coming onto the market. It may seem as if the game shop is losing money by having this promotion, but in fact they stand to make a sizable profit. People come in, submit their high score, browse while waiting, and hopefully leave with a few additional purchases on top of their new game."
The genius turtle's smug look went right over Mikey's head. Which was fine, Donnie's look wasn't meant for all three brothers anyway, just two.
Leo didn't care how smug his purple banded brother was, if he had to bow down to Donnie's superior intelligence in order to pull this off, so be it. By the time it was over and done, all three of them would be wearing smug looks.
"Donnie, you can pull the final screen off the game without the console, right?" Mikey sounded like a kid asking his father if he could fix his broken favorite toy.
"Sure thing. It'd only take about five minutes to set up."
It was obvious Donnie's smile was meant for more than just Mikey this time too.
"ALRIGHT!" Mikey bolted from the room, breakfast completely forgotten. With a shrug to Leo and Raph, Donnie stood, following his baby brother at a more dignified pace.
"Dat went better dan expected." Raph grinned at his brother.
"And it's just going to get better, and better, little brother. Just wait and see."
Splinter looked from Donnie to Leo and back again. He was beginning to grasp the magnitude of their prank. "Donatello, how did you fabricate the newspaper?"
"I didn't fabricate the whole newspaper, just the four page sheet where we put the ad. It was rather easy," Donnie's pride shown through in his voice. "I found a sheet of clean newsprint in the dumpster behind the packing store. Then I..."
While Donnie explained, in easy to understand, non-technical terms to their father how the whole thing began, Leo glanced over to Mikey. He was surprised to see the normally energetic turtle looking so forlorn. He tipped his head, hoping his baby brother would pick up on the silent question.
He did. Mikey just shrugged. It's not important.
Leo leaned slightly forward, the faint beginnings of a frown on his face. It is to me.Mikey's head slumped down, his eyes darting to Raph. He let out a small sigh, looking at Leo from under his eyeridges. I meant for Raph to get it, not you. He likes to bottom more.The corners of Leo's mouth lifted ever so slightly, his expression softening. I should have realized. I'm sorry.Mikey smiled back, slowly at first, then growing. I'm sorry too. And it WAS a good prank. You're just an amateur.Leo couldn't help but grin. It quickly died when Splinter cleared his throat.
"Right," Leo said nervously. "Mikey was going to wait until dusk, but it started to cloud up with an unexpected storm moving in..."
"Bros! I'm heading out!"
Leo, Donnie, and Raph gathered at the main entrance to the lair to find their baby brother decked out in his human disguise.
"You want one of us to go with you?" Leo innocently asked. "It's not entirely dark out yet."
"Naw, I got this," Mikey waved a hand dismissively. "And if anyone sees me, I'll just say I'm dressed as a Pokémon. People come in the shop dressed cosplay all the time. The owner likes to take pictures, and put them up."
The look shared between the three older siblings clearly said they seriously doubted the sea green turtle would make it that far.
"Alright then, just make sure you have you Shellcell, that it's ON, and call if you need us."
Mikey rolled his eyes. "Yes, M-AW-M."
"Chill, Fearless. Yer gonna start sproutin' feathers. He's made dis run a thousand times before."
Leo automatically glared at his emerald brother, earning him a grin from Raph. Leo could have slapped himself in the face, he'd stepped right into that one. The leader's scowl clearly said Raph may very well find himself on the receiving end of their next prank.
"If you want help when you get back Mikey, just ask. I'll be in the lab running a few experiments, but it's nothing that can't be put on hold for an hour or so to set up the console."
"Cool, thanks, bro," Mikey reached for the mechanism to open the door. "Catch ya later!"
They waited exactly five minutes before following Mikey out the door, an air of anticipation and excitement surrounding them.
The game was afoot!
Mikey whistled softly to himself as he made his way carefully through the sewer tunnels to the safest manhole exit nearest the game shop. There was one in the alley across the street from the shop, but he was just as likely to come up right in the middle of drug deal, a gun deal, or a sex deal as not when he came out.
Mikey would rather not tonight.
He wanted to go home and surprise his brothers with a brand new game console, not come home and be surprised by discovering he'd inadvertently given Leo a brain heart attack.
The sea green turtle snickered, He liked that line. It was one of the reasons he'd watched Transformers five times to date.
He opted for an exit several blocks south and west of the shop. It was tucked in between an abandoned restaurant and a dry cleaners. The alley was open at both ends, with a couple of conveniently placed dumpsters hiding anyone coming in or out of the sewers. It was the exit the turtles used most often for that area.
When he came to the tunnel junction leading to the exit, Mikey paused. The right one would take him to the safe exit by the dry cleaners, but the left one would take him past another junction which had a tunnel running parallel to the one he was currently in which in turn would bring him to an exit three streets up and two streets over closer to the game shop.
Leo didn't like using that exit because there was a place along the tunnel that had fallen away during one of Baxter Stockman's many mouser attacks. Donnie had designed a bridge and secured it in place so the tunnel could be used during an emergency, but not for everyday, run-of-the-mill travel.
Their leader still wasn't al that fond of heights, at least not heights he couldn't see the bottom of.
Good thing this wasn't everyday, run-of-the-mill travel, and good thing Mikey wasn't Leo.
Mikey turned left.
The orange ninja resumed his whistling, telling himself if his brothers or father asked, he would simply claim he was checking on the condition of the tunnel for security and safety purposes.
IF anyone asked that is.
"What is the condition of those tunnels, Michelangelo?"
"They're good, Sensei. There were a few piles of junk around the edges of the bridge, but I moved them, and dumped it down the mouse hole."
"Did you have any further trouble getting to the surface?"
Mikey looked questioningly at his father. "No. Everything went fine. Why?"
Splinter leaned slightly to one side, looking at the underside of Raph's chin. "I do not believe the same can be said by your brothers if the bruise on Raphael's chin is any indication."
Raph sat wishing with all his heart that the ground would open up, and swallow him whole.
Mikey's brothers had no idea the orange banded ninja had decided to exit the tunnels closer to the game shop. They turned right, heading for their regular exit, the one they assumed Mikey would have used, with Raph in the lead.
"Keep your eyes open Raph. With his head start, and the speed he was most likely moving, Mikey would have had time to reset our pranks," Leo cautioned as the emerald turtle placed his foot on the lowest rung of the ladder.
"Mikey's not gonna take da time ta do nuthin'" the brawler scoffed. "He's got one t'in' on his mind an' it ain't our pranks. If he finds sum't'in', he's not gonna stop ta fix it or reset it, he's gonna go on, an' tell Don 'bout it later."
Raph did have a point.
"Raph, just be careful. Leo and I smeared watered down Nutella on the top rung..."
"Yeah, yeah. I hear ya, brainiac," Raph set his foot on the lowest rung.
"And loosened the third to last rung."
Raph waved his hand, indicating he had heard, and continued up the ladder, skipping the third rung. Mikey had a solid five minutes head start, they didn't have time to be messing around. What was the point in pulling this prank if they didn't get to see the action?
When he reached the top of the ladder, Raph understood why Donnie and Leo had rigged the top rung the way they had. When opening the manhole, they lifted the cover with one arm, bracing the other on the top rung. Mikey would have stuck his hand in the chocolate spread instantly assuming a bag of garbage had leaked goo down onto the rung through the open holes in the cover. Not an overly funny prank, but considering all the possibilities a wet, dark brown, gooey, smear could bring to mind, it was the perfect way to begin what would hopefully become a very trying night for the youngest turtle.
Raph just couldn't figure out where the loose rung came into play. It was laughingly easy to jump over the bottom three rungs on the exit ladders. Heck, even Casey could do it.
When the red banded ninja shifted his weight to lift the manhole cover, he figured it out.
Donnie didn't mean the third to last rung from the bottom, he meant the third to last rung from the TOP!
When Raph placed his foot on the loose rung, it tipped. It wouldn't have been so bad if the rung had tipped TOWARDS the wall, that would only resulted in a few bruises along Raph's shins. Painful, but no big deal. No. it had to tip AWAY from the wall.
Normally, that wouldn't have been a problem either. Raph was a trained ninja after all. He had lightening quick reflexes. He knew how to brace himself, and keep his balance on unsteady surfaces.
He and his brothers did it all the time.
The chocolate spread Leo and Donnie had smeared on the top rung had dripped onto the second and third rungs as well. When Raph tried to brace himself and balance on the loose rung, his feet shot out from under him, sliding completely off the rung.
Flashbacks of his foot sliding off the kitchen counter in the lair which resulted in Raph's tail getting stuck in the toaster flashed through his mind.
There was no way in Hell he was going to endure humiliation like THAT again!
To keep from falling, Raph grabbed onto the top rung, forgetting in his panic that was the rung was smeared with Nutella.
Feeling the wet goo squish against his palm, Raph's mind screamed, 'CRAP!' And not the kind of crap one says when something bad is in the process of happening. The other crap. The crap that keeps them out of certain sewer tunnels when it floods.
Not wanting to come in contact with that kind of crap, or any other kind for that matter, Raph let go of the ladder. He realized his mistake about point three seconds before he began to fall.
Not a problem. Raph had super fast reflexes. That whole ninja thing, and all.
Emerald fingers gripped onto the side rails of the ladder. Raph would simply slid down to the floor of the tunnel. He and his brothers did it all the time. Piece of ninja cake.
Only this time his hands were covered in chocolate spread.
Slippery, chocolate spread.
Needing to slow his slide, Raph leaned in closer to the ladder. By giving himself better leverage for his arms, Raph planned to slow himself with sheer brute strength.
That plan went right out the window when his chin made contact with the first of many rungs on the ladder.
Every rung on the way down.
Raph hit the ground with a shell jarring thud. If asked, he would have been hard pressed to say which hurt more, his bruised chin, or his bruised pride.
"Was that your only injury, my son?"
Splinter never could be overly angry with his sons when they were injured, no matter how brainless their actions that resulted in those injuries seemed. And over the past twenty-one years, those four had done some pretty brainless things.
Kids!
"Dat time it was."
Splinter made a mental note to check his facial features in the mirror before he went to bed. He was pretty sure his eyebrows were a few millimeters higher than before. That old adage 'keep doing that and your face will stick that way', kept coming to mind.
The rat filed his emerald son's comment away for later investigation, and turned back to his oldest. "Leonardo, as strange as it may seem, I do understand why you coated the top rung with that vile foodstuff, but I do not understand why you loosened the rung. That could have resulted in serious injury for your brother."
Leo opened his mouth to explain, but to the leader's surprise, Mikey beat him to it. "That's easy, Sensei. I'm the shortest. I stand on the third rung to open the manhole covers, Leo, Don, and Raph can stand on the fourth. If the third one was loose, I'd have had to stand on the second or fourth. On the fourth, I'd have had to stretch, and it would have taken a lot more effort. If I'd have stood on the second, I'd have had to brace my knee on the top rung. That would have guaranteed I'd have put SOME body part in that stuff," Mikey grinned at his three brothers. "It really was a good prank."
Sometimes the ninja master was blown away by his youngest son's observation and deduction skills. They often rivaled Leonardo's, and his own.
Splinter decided to let this particular prank slide, if the intended target wasn't angry, why should he be? "Please continue."
Once again, Mikey beat his oldest brother to the mark, speaking first.
"Right before you walked in Sensei, I was going to explain how I left here with just enough money to get the game at half price, but came home with five times as much stuff," Mikey sat back down from checking his cake. "I had a ton of good luck! It's kinda a cool story!"
Splinter frowned slightly. The point was trying to figure out what his three older sons were thinking when they planned this three ring circus of events, not Mikey's ever present, freakishly good luck.
"It would be a good idea, Sensei. Because once we spotted Mikey, and started following him, that's when things started going downhill," Leo was eager to have something, ANYTHING help distract their father from their harebrained stunt-s.
"As coincidental as it sounds, whatever happened to Mikey triggered what happened to us," Donnie laid his neck cloth on the table. "Ever. Single. Time."
"Dumb turtle luck," Raph growled.
This had the potential to be a more interesting tale than Splinter originally thought. He motioned for his youngest to continue.
With a huge grin, Mikey settled in to pick up the story. "When I came up out of the sewer, I checked to see if I could get up on the roof..."
The only drawback to using the exit Mikey had chosen was that the fire escape leading to the roof was close to the mouth of the alley. It wasn't but a short dash and a quick jump to reach the ladder, and there were plenty of shadows for cover.
After replacing the manhole cover, Mikey peered around a dumpster to see if the way was clear. There was only one person standing near the mouth of the alley, an elderly man, his back to the alley waiting to cross the street. The orange banded ninja made it to the ladder in scant seconds, but something about the man set off every warning alarm Mikey had. Keeping to the shadows, the ninja turtle watched, and waited.
Leaning heavily on his cane, the man stepped off the curb, being careful to avoid the puddle of nasty water along the edge of the sidewalk. "Dude, it's going to take you forever to get across there," Mikey muttered. "You're going to get creamed."
Mikey never thought his idle comment would turn into a premonition.
When the man was halfway across the first lane of traffic, a black sports car whipped around a bus loading and unloading passengers. The slow moving senior was right in the path of the car.
Mikey moved on instinct.
Darting out of the alley, the disguised turtle ran into the street. He scooped the old man up, cane and all without breaking stride in his dash for the opposite sidewalk.
Mikey would have sworn he had black paint on his tail the car passed that close.
He heard a muted thump, and figured a fine upstanding New York citizen had thrown a purse at the speeding car. Mikey sincerely hoped the citizen had good aim, and a brick in that purse.
He set his fragile cargo on the sidewalk, making a show of straightening the man's coat and hat while brushing imaginary lint from his lapels. "There ya go, old timer. Gotta be careful about these drivers nowadays. They'll get you every time."
It took a few moments for the man to get his feet back under him. "Thank you, young man. My wife would have been so mad at me if I'd have gotten myself killed today of all days," he chuckled. "It's our fifty-first wedding anniversary. I was on my way to get her some flowers. If I didn't she'd think I'd forgotten. I'd like to repay you for keeping me in her good graces."
"That's not necessary, sir," an embarrassed Mikey mumbled.
"You're a good man, son," the old man took his wallet from inside his coat. "I'm not so old I can't remember what it's like to be young, and broke more often than not. One of the benefits of being old is you learn a few things," he grinned at Mikey. "Like when your wife calls you a sweet nickname you go invest some money in something that starts with the same letter. I guess Abraham was too long for her to always be saying, so she called me Abie-baby. Every time she did, I bought a share of Apple." He pulled three bills from his wallet. "I got money to burn."
Mikey stared in stunned disbelief at three disapproving faces of Ben Franklin sitting in his gloved hand. "Sir, I can't..."
"You can, and you will, son. I don't need it. My belly's full. I got a good roof. I'm doing fine, better than fine, actually. But it seems like you could use a hand up," he tapped the frayed edge of Mikey's jacket sleeve. "Now, use it wisely for your family. And thank you again, son."
With that, the old man turned, heading for the flower shop, leaving behind a very grateful, and very teary eyed sea green ninja.
Mikey's brothers' experience with the speeding car, wasn't quite so pleasant.
Leo lead the way up to the rooftops as soon as he and his brothers exited the sewers. Doctor Donnie had deemed Raph's chin undamaged enough to allow the emerald turtle to continue with prank observation, demanding nothing more than a promise to immediately ice the bruise upon returning to the lair.
As if Donnie could keep Raph from going anyway, messed up chin or not.
The three brothers reached Mikey's sewer exit just in time to see the black car whip around the bus.
"Leo, we gotta move! Dat guy's gonna end up a hood ornament!"
"Prank later! Let's move!"
Leo and Donnie dropped silently down to street level. They reached the mouth of the alley just in time to see Mikey setting the elderly pedestrian on the opposite sidewalk.
They looked at one another, feeling a sense of pride at their baby brother's courage, bravery, and skill. They turned around and, finding Raphael missing, realized the emerald ninja hadn't followed them to the surface.
Where is he?" Donnie asked, looking up at the rooftop they had descended from.
A muffled thump from the direction of the street drew their attention.
"Found him," Leo deadpanned.
When his brothers leapt for the street, Raph jumped across the alley to the opposite building. Trusting his brothers to save the old man, the emerald brawler decided to have a few words with the driver of that car. Words in the form of dents and scratches to that shiny paint job.
When he reached the roof edge, Raph got a bird's eye view of the black sports car missing Mikey by millimeters.
Scowling, Raph decided to change his language from dents and scratches to fists and sai when he talked to that driver. No one messes with Mikey.
Once certain his baby brother was safe, Raph leapt off the roof of the building, aiming for the sports car.
That was his first mistake.
The weather had been gorgeous the past week, the kind of gorgeous that made retired men go fishing, CEO's play golf, and owners of sharp looking, chick magnet, too fast for common sense sports cars spend hundreds on detailing their speedy extension of manhood. Raph should have realized if a car shined THAT much in poor lighting, something was up. Something like the car may have been waxed three times, one right after the other, in the same detailing session.
Who did that!?
The type of person who drove twenty miles over the speed limit down a street filled with pedestrians, that's who.
The second Raph's feet touched the roof of the car, they shot out from under him. He landed on his upper carapace, feet in the air, and tail sticking straight up. His head bounced off the shiny surface with a dull thump.
It would have been a simple maneuver for Raph to roll on over, executing a backwards flip right over the car's trunk, and landing on the street. The only problem with that was it would have required conscious action on Raph's part, and at the moment his brain was stuck on one continuously looping thought.
'MY TAIL'S GOING IN THE TOASTER! MY TAIL'S GOING IN THE TOASTER!'
Lucky for Raph the alley Mikey had exited in was located near the end of the block. The sports car was traveling the shorter distance, and the stoplight was red.
Unlucky for the red banded turtle, the light turned green the second his head bounced off the roof.
And the driver hit the gas.
Raph's mind went from the safety of his tail to, 'Cop! Cop! Need a cop!'
On second thought it was probably a good idea no cops were around, or Raph would have wound up trying to explain why he was rolling around on top of a black sports car, in a turtle costume, at dinnertime, on a Wednesday night, in lower Manhattan.
Wouldn't that just give Leo a mental breakdown.
As fun as it would be to sit there and imagine his oldest brother having a conniption fit, Raph found himself with more pressing problems.
If the driver had opted to go straight, Raph could have easily gotten his wits about him, his feet under him, and his act together long enough to get off that mid-life crisis on wheels. But no, the driver decided he needed to turn.
That wouldn't have been much of a problem if the driver had been turning onto a two lane street. The car would have had to slow down to check for oncoming traffic, then Raph could have followed through with his already thought out plan for the not chosen option of going straight.
No. This dunderhead had to turn onto a one way street with the green light in his favor.
Raph let himself be impressed with the car's suspension for about two seconds when the driver took the corner without so much as touching the brakes. Next, he was impressed with the speed of which he went flying through the air. The emerald ninja hoped the driver would be equally as impressed with the scratches left behind on the roof of his shiny vehicle by Raph's carapace and sai as he went sliding.
Raph hoped the driver sitting at the stoplight wouldn't be too freaked out, seeing a big ass turtle go sailing through the air at the intersection.
Probably not, it was New York after all.
Stranger things have happened.
He waved as he went by just to be polite.
Thanks to years of intense training, Raph had the presence of mind to twist his body around in preparation for stopping. He figured he had enough time to get his feet in position so the shock would be absorbed by his legs, and cause little to no bodily damage.
That should make Donnie happy. Raph figured he was in enough shit as it was after the ladder incident, and could use all the brownie points he could get.
Raph quickly realized why he tended to leave complex calculations to the genius of the family when the back of his thighs hit the edge of a street side dumpster.
So much for those brownie points.
The emerald turtle flipped carapace first onto the cracked plastic lid on the dumpster, shattering it into several pieces. After his mind had registered the fact he was no longer moving, Raph lay on the soft, warm pile of whatever was in the dumpster, wondering when it had started to snow.
He blinked.
It was early fall.
It was too warm to snow.
Raph reached up, watching as a single, white, downy feather settled in his palm. Feathers? Why would a feather be sitting in his hand?
His RED stained hand!
He was going to end up owing Donnie brownie points at this rate.
Then he smelled it. The worst stink in all the world. Raph had encountered that particular smell twice before in his life, once when it was Leo's turn to cook, and second when it was Donnie's turn to clean the kitchen.
He wasn't injured.
He was sitting in a big pile of chili.
Cold chili.
Cold, WAY past the expiration date, chili.
Covered in feathers.
Raph groaned. Hadn't he made some snide remark about Leo sprouting feathers earlier?
Karma was such a bitch!
A sensation of what felt like someone rubbing his foot with a soaking wet fine grade sandpaper made Raph look down at his feet. A small, black and grey cat crouched on a box, clear of any and all goo, licking Raph's tomato sauce covered foot. The cat looked up, licked his lips, then returned to lapping up his dinner.
"Fuckin' figures."
"Are you okay, boy? Looking a little green there."
Raph scrunched his face and turned away from the alcohol laden breath.
Raph pushed himself up, grimacing as something cold and gooey squished between his fingers. "Yeah. T'ink so."
"Then get your green ass outta my bed!"
Raph blinked. This guy was face to face with a big, green, talking turtle and he just wanted to go to bed?!
Only in New York City.
"Are you deaf? Get the hell out! It's bad enough you put you ass right in the middle of my dinner, AND my bed. Now you won't leave!? Weren't you taught any manners!?"
Raph scrambled out of the dumpster, jumping to the ground as the man climbed in.
"My rolls better not be squashed!"
"I didn't squash yer damned rolls!" Raph growled back.
"You better leave my buggy alone! It's rigged!"
Raph had had enough. "I don't want yer damn buggy either!" Frustrated, he picked up a piece of broken cement, flinging it at the side of the dumpster.
Just as Raph was turning to leave, Leo and Donnie dropped down from the rooftop.
"Raph..."
Spooked by the sound of his brother's voice, Raph pulled his sai and spun around. Unaware he was standing in the middle of a patch of broken sidewalk, Raph didn't pay much attention to where he put his foot. Which was right on top of several loose, pebble sized pieces.
This time the red banded ninja didn't lose his footing, though he wished he had, it would have hurt less. This time when his foot slipped, Raph's heel lodged in a slight indention in the cracked cement, holding it fast while the rest of the emerald turtle's body continued to turn. The next thing he knew, Raph was on his tail with his foot pointing off at a weird angle.
"That's not good," Donnie immediately dropped to his brother's aid. "If it's not broken, it's badly sprained. Leo, help me get his foot loose."
Raph ground his teeth against the pain, glaring at Leo the entire time Donnie put his foot through a series of motions.
"You're good," Donnie said, picking a lettuce leaf off the top of his emerald brother's head. "It's just a sprain. Let's get out of here so we can hose you down, and wrap you foot. Mikey has to come this way to get to the game shop."
With a groan, Raph allowed his brothers to help him up. Before they leapt for the roof, a high pitched snicker came from inside the dumpster.
"Told you it was rigged!"
Splinter looked at his emerald son, the expression on his furred face unreadable. Raph stared back at his father, the expression on the ninja turtle's face was very readable.
Raph was expecting an up close and personal experience with his father's cane any second.
"Raphael, my son, go shower," Splinter said tiredly.
"I done did."
Splinter looked pointedly at the pink feather lying on the floor. "Please do so again."
Raph looked at his brothers. "Is it dat bad?"
All three silently nodded.
"I have something in the lab that should get the smell off your shell," Donnie rose to follow as his brother limped from the kitchen.
"Here's hoping whatever it is doesn't take his shell off too," Mikey muttered.
"Michelangelo, please continue."
Mikey watched as his father massage his temples. "You sure, Sensei?" Splinter nodded, his fingers continuing the massage. "O-kay."
After tucking his new found fortune in his belt, Mikey continued on his way. Now he could really surprise his brothers, and get a little something special for Master Splinter's return on top of it. His mind raced with the possibilities.
As the sea green turtle glanced at the shops as he passed, he noticed several new ones had recently opened up, and decided to check some of them out.
By the time Mikey made it to the end of the street, the sea green turtle was laden with books for all four family members, plus a gift certificate for being the one hundredth customer for the newly opened bookstore; several new flavors of tea and coffee; a box of donuts; a new ice cream flavor from the donut shop's sister store; and a free stuffed crust pizza for guessing all of the pizza toppings on a loaded 'Ultimate Pizza Lover's Dream' pizza by smell alone.
Mikey wasn't the self proclaimed family chef for nothing. And he still had a considerable amount of money left.
There was no way he was going to make it to the game shop with any kind of speed lugging all that stuff with him, even a ninja had his limits. Checking to make sure the way was clear, Mikey made his way to the nearest rooftop. The upper highway was faster anyway, and he was more than a little relieved to be back on familiar territory.
That weird cackling coming from the dumpster at the corner was kind of freaking him out.
He'd be sure to tell Donnie about it. Maybe the guy sleeping in the dumpster needed medical help, or something.
After tucking his bags in behind a cooling unit, Mikey took off in the direction of the game shop unaware of the three shadows following him, one moving with a slight limp.
Leo lead the way across the rooftop following Mikey. Donnie held back, sticking close to Raph in case the emerald turtle's injured ankle became a problem.
The only things the family medic could remember ever bringing Raph to his knees was a twisted ankle when the brawler was about ten years old, that and the toaster.
"Hey, Don." Hearing his name, Donnie feared the worse. "Does Leo know dis is where we put da skateboard?"
"I don't think so, but Mikey's in front. What could go wrong?"
If he only knew.
Three sides of the buildings the brothers were jumping to and from were safe for the turtles to travel, but the side they were approaching presented certain difficulties. Because of the crumbling brick of the building they would be jumping from, and the placement of vent pipes along the roof of the building they were jumping to, there was only a small space safe enough to clear the alley from the direction they were coming.
Right in the center of their landing space Raph had placed a skateboard. Newly serviced. With low friction, free moving bearings in the wheels.
The Donatello custom made, all silicon, slick as glass wheels.
That was Raph's contribution to the prank. Halfway across the roof, Donnie's contribution came into play.
A few chemicals, mixed in the right proportions, created a very sticky, water soluble, substance strong enough to stop a moving skateboard, or a runaway subway car, whichever happened by first. Then, exactly four point five seven nine feet, the distance Mikey could jump standing still, from the beginning of Donnie's homemade, highly elasticized, sticky gum was another homemade chemical concoction.
This one was also water soluble.
And it was NOT sticky.
It was what Donnie used to reduce the friction in his hydraulics.
The Utroms proclaimed it the superior antifriction gel in all of the known universe. The aliens loved it.
Donnie slowed when he saw Mikey jump the alley.
Raph stopped beside him.
Neither thought to call out to Leo.
Mikey saw the skateboard at the top of his jump. He could easily avoid it with a simply side turn, but why?
He was the skateboard king!
The orange ninja landed with both feet solid on the board and shot off across the roof. He whooped in excitement. The ride was awesome! He would love to take that board and skate the city all night. Imagine the tricks he could do in the tunnels with a board like this!
But such an awesome board probably belonged to someone, and he had more important things to do.
Mikey jumped off the skateboard, being sure to add some extra power to his back kick to get the skateboard back across the roof where he found it for when the owner came to reclaim it. A few cartwheels and backflips easily took the energetic turtle across the roof and sailing across the alley to the next building.
The board almost made it back to the edge of the roof where Raph had placed it. It would have if not for Leo's foot.
Leo thought nothing of it when Mikey shot across the roof. He figured the sea green turtle had brought his skateboard along to burn some excess energy on his way to the game shop. Mikey often did. It wasn't until he saw the board rocketing back at him Leo realized that wasn't the case.
He didn't feel quite the same exhilaration as Mikey when Leo shot across the roof on Raph's and Donnie's tweaked skateboard. Terror was more akin to what he was feeling.
Right when Leo began to get his terror under control, it returned in full force, plus some.
He was actually beginning to enjoy the ride, still not realizing THIS was his brothers' prank when Leo hit Don's homemade elastic gum. The skateboard stopped cold, stuck fast in the sticky goo.
Sailing through the air, the leader began to suspect he was caught up in the middle of Raph's and Don's prank.
Leo was also beginning to doubt his middle brothers' imagination. Sure, Mikey had an overabundance of the stuff, but Raph and Don had to have SOME imagination. Look at all the stuff Don created! To be fair, this wasn't bad, as far as pranks go. But it was rather tame, not even on Casey Jones' level.
Leo amended his evaluation when his carapace hit the slide.
Raph looked at Donnie as Leo's scream rang out. "I didn't t'ink it'd work dat good."
Donnie nodded, not really paying either brother much mind. "Raph, that tent wasn't there when we set this up, was it?" Donnie knew the answer, he just wanted some confirmation.
"Nope."
"What's it look like to you?" Again, the genius just wanted some confirmation.
"A weddin' reception. A Southwestern weddin' reception."
Raph was pretty sure the expression on his face was the same as the one he saw on Donnie's. "With..." he started.
"Cacti," Donnie finished.
"OH SHIT!"
Leo just confirmed their suspicions.
"Glad it ain't me," Raph smirked, jumping the alley.
"Me too," Don muttered right on his heels.
Leo encountered the first of several cacti as soon as he burst through the side of the tent. The flimsy fabric fell down, blanketing the leaf green turtle, rendering him temporarily blind to everything but a field of white.
Unable to see where he was going, Leo had no way to navigate through the reception set up. Folding chairs flew through the air, landing atop upended tables. The sound of shattering glass filled the air as a pyramid of stemware crashed to the ground, mingling with Leo's shouts of pain as unprotected parts of his body came in contact with the needle like spines of the various cacti. Water from broken vases ran across the roof, swirling around mounds of spilled birdseed to form a gritty, soupy mix.
Leo had never been so thankful for anything in his life as he was that birdseed and water mess.
The grit provided the necessary friction for Leo to slow down just enough to get some control over his wild slide. Using his shuko, Leo managed to come to a stop right before he slammed into the raised edge of the roof.
He slowly stood on shaky legs to wave at his brothers, letting them know he was alright.
Leo was perhaps a bit premature in that assumption.
Unbeknownst to Donnie, his antifriction gel became more fluidic when exposed to long periods of heat.
During the past few days of beautiful, sunny weather the gel had become heated, and flowed to pool along the edge of the rooftop.
Right where Leo was standing.
"Leo, we see ya, ya dork," Raph called, seeing Leo's arms wind milling. "So stop... Where'd he go?"
The banging and cursing was a pretty good hint.
"He fell over da edge!? How da hell does someone like LEO fall over da edge of a roof?"
It was then Donnie noticed the pool of water and antifriction gel. "That's amazing," he muttered.
"Yep. Damned impressive."
Neither had a clue as to what the other was talking about.
They jumped down to find Leo lying on a fire escape landing, face first in a litterbox.
The reason obvious as to why it was out there in the first place.
Leo frowned at Donnie as he took the bottle of water the olive turtle held out to him. "Oops," Donnie mumbled. "Guess we forgot to tell you about that."
"Ya think!" Leo rinsed his mouth, spitting the water on the ground. "I guess this is Karmic justice for me sneezing on Karai," he grumbled, wiping bits of grit from his face.
"Speakin' of," Raph pointed further down the alley.
Several shadows moved away from the building, with one moving purposely towards the three turtles. Leo stood, prepared to pull his weapons, as muffled snorts began to fill the air. In seconds Karai was leaning over a trashcan, holding her sides as she laughed.
She pointed at Leo, but no sound other than laughter came out of her mouth.
"Karma's a bitch, bro," Raph couldn't help but snicker.
Karai pointed to Raph, nodding her head as she laughed.
"Let's go team," Leo growled. "We're losing time."
Karai waved as the turtles leapt for the roof, having slid down the wall to lean against the trashcan, weak with laughter.
Three buildings over Mikey paused, hearing the muffled curses, and what sounded a lot like a rampaging bull in a china shop. He briefly wondered if someone had fallen over that awesome skateboard, then shook his head.
No one could be THAT klutzy.
Splinter wondered if anything less than the overdose amount of Ibuprofen would make his head stop throbbing. Maybe a little mediation would help.
Like three days worth.
Better yet, maybe he should send his SONS to the Nexus, and HE stay home. Invite the Daimyo to visit him for a change.
The aged rat seriously doubted his old friend would appreciate returning home to discover he no longer HAD a home to return to. Images of the four brothers standing in the middle of a smoking ruin that used to be the Daimyo's palace flashed through Splinter's mind, with Michelangelo standing there looking innocent and insisting it was that way when they got there.
Maybe he should ask Usagi to come hang out, babysit, his sons, and keep them out of trouble. The samurai rabbit was calm and level headed, perhaps more so than Leonardo.
Leonardo. The son whose idea started this whole mess.
And the last mess too.
No. Usagi would definitely NOT be coming there!
Leo had no idea why his father suddenly started frowning at him, but thought it in his best interests not to ask.
The clouds were thickening, and the air had a heavy, wet feel to it. Mikey didn't want to get caught out in the rain, at least not until he had gotten his game, maybe the new console, retrieved his bags from behind the cooling unit, and was back in the sewers on his way home. He didn't want to surprise his brothers with a water logged gaming system Donnie had to dry out and repair first thing.
That would totally suck.
Checking the traffic, it seemed as if most everyone else had the same idea. Get home before the rain hit.
With so few people about, Mikey figured he'd make just as good time on the surface as he would on the roofs.
Raph wanted to punch something.
Preferably Leo.
Right in the face.
Of all the pigheaded, stubborn, obstinate, infuriating, arrogant...
"Raph's right, Leo," Donnie tried to reason. "If you leave those spines, they could work their way in deeper. I'll have to dig them out, and I don't think you want me rooting too deep on your tail, at least not with a needle."
Leo stopped, turning to scowl at his brothers. Their concern did nothing but add insult to injury to the leaf green turtle's pride.
"Don's right. An' if it was one a us, ya'd be all over us ta have it looked at. Lead by example, bro. Practice what ya lecture," Raph smirked.
He had him there.
"Fine," Leo relented. "I'll let Raph pick the WORST of them out. Donnie, you go on and keep an eye on Mikey. There's one more prank set up before the game shop, we still have a chance at this."
Leo didn't sound nowhere as confident as he had at the beginning of this, and neither brother had to wonder why. They knew.
Karma was kicking their asses.
Or dumb turtle luck.
With a sharp nod, Donnie vaulted over to the next building, and quickly disappeared into the darkness.
Leo wasn't happy about them splitting up. At the rate they were going, Donnie had as much chance getting captured by Bishop as he did finding Mikey. Maybe more.
"Hey Fearless, relax," Raph snickered. "Dey'll be fine. 'Sides, I thought ya liked me rubbing my hands all over yer ass."
Not having seen Mikey jump down to street level, Donnie continued on across the rooftops towards the game shop. The olive ninja was running at top speed, completely unaware he was heading straight for the final prank Leo and Raph had set up.
When he reached the dance club without seeing hide nor hair of his baby brother, Donnie started to get worried. He knew Mikey would be hurrying for several reasons, but he couldn't have been hurrying THAT fast. Donnie should have seen SOME sign of the orange banded ninja, unless... Mikey took to the streets.
Donnie could have smacked himself for missing something so obvious.
Now he needed to find an observation point to watch the game shop, and keep an eye out for his brother.
The dance club directly across from the game shop was perfect. It was tall, had a sign directly in front to provide additional cover, and had been gutted by fire a few years ago in a Foot Clan, Purple Dragon turf war. It was now under reconstruction for months which would ensure there would be no squatters inside, so he didn't have to worry about being seen from behind.
Or so he thought.
Donnie carefully made his way across the club's roof. He was unsure of how stable sections of the structure were, given the fire damage, nor was he currently up on the reconstruction progress. The last thing he needed was to call Leo and Raph to come save him because of his own inattentiveness.
Karma had other ideas.
As he paid close attention to the hazards left behind by the fire and construction crew, Donnie missed the one hazard he should have picked up on the second he set foot on the roof. A skylight, located near the front of the building behind the sign, directly over the area designated as the dance floor, left open.
Why would the skylight of a burned out dance club under reconstruction be left open?
Past experience said it was something highly illegal and most likely involving the Foot, the Purple Dragons, or both.
The prank would have to wait. At least long enough for Donnie to check out the club's interior.
Donnie crept closer to the open skylight, straining to hear anything unusual coming from inside. The only sounds to be heard were the soft creaks of the building with the occasional skittering of rodents. A relieved sigh was breathed out as Donnie came to the conclusion the skylight was left open by the construction crew. Either by accident or intentional, it didn't matter. It wasn't something the olive turtle needed to concern himself with.
The cracking and popping sounds coming from under Donnie's feet were.
The plank Donnie was using as a walkway gave way, snapping under the turtle's weight to pitch the olive toned genius into the club's darkened interior. He braced himself for the jarring stop he knew was coming, twisting in mid-air to take the brunt of the impact on his carapace.
The jarring stop never came, at least not how Donnie expected.
Instead of hitting the floor, Donnie became wrapped up in ropes strung one across the other throughout the building. He grasped wildly at the ropes as he passed, his hands brushing against bits and pieces of fabric, all different shapes and textures.
Almost like a clothesline.
Donnie didn't care what they were. All he cared about was the fact the ropes were slowing him down enough so he wouldn't end up a green smear on a broken dance floor.
He sensed the floor fast approaching, and managed to grab onto on of the ropes, only to have it snap. It did slow his fall enough for Donnie to grab onto more of the ropes hanging between him and the floor.
The olive turtle soon realized he no longer had to worry about hitting the floor, because he wasn't going to.
The pieces of cloth hanging from the ropes were snagging and wrapping around his feet, bo, legs, arms, literally any and every part of him that stuck out. Something had even attached itself to his tail.
Donnie felt like a character in one of those Saturday morning cartoons as he bounced a few feet above the floor tangled in cloth.
Stretchy cloth.
Like elastic.
Upon inspection, the loose pieces of cloth turned out to be... underwear? Human UNDERWEAR!?
Donnie's face began to burn when he realized he had been saved by ladies lingerie and men's... sports attire.
God, please let it be clean!
Raph. The athletic supporters had to have been Raph's idea.
This explained why Leo always went for the white meat when Mikey fixed chicken for dinner.
Must be a breast man. Turtle. Whatever.
Growling in frustration, Donnie began to wrestle his way out of his undergarment mummification. He pulled out a kunai and began slicing through the nylon and elastic.
It wasn't the floor Donnie hit when he fell.
The olive toned genius had been so intent on freeing himself he failed to notice the duct taped, inflatable swimming pool underneath him. He noticed it up close and personal when he fell into it though.
Only instead of the normal splash one gets when falling into water, Donnie got a thick, squishy splat.
Something akin to the sound the chili made when it squished between Raph's fingers in the dumpster.
His brothers had put not water in the pool. They put paint in it.
NEON PINK paint.
The kind of paint best suited for dance clubs. Ninja turtles, not so much.
As if Karma wasn't getting a good enough laugh, she had to go and add witnesses.
"Hey honey, you mind if I keep some of these? Mine are kinda worn out."
There stood three women, apparently homeless from their appearance, holding out a purple, a leopard print, and a black lace bra. All size double D.
First rule of ninja, never be seen.
Second rule, if seen, run like Hell.
Donnie panicked. He had to get out of there! NOW!
Throwing several smoke bombs, he ran for the door, knocking the ropes dangling from the rafters aside with his bow. Several pieces of cloth came loose in the process, floating lazily through the air.
Just as his hand touched the door handle, a pillowcase draped itself over Donnie's head. He didn't bother removing it, he could swipe it off once outside.
He never got the chance.
Who puts the entrance to their club, where people come to dance to exhaustion, drink, and do countless other forms of mind numbing entertainment, ten feet from a city light pole!?
Those people deserved to have their club burned! And then some!
Leo and Raph made it to the dance club in time to see the neon pink paint spattered turtle run from the club and right into the light pole.
"I didn't see THAT happening," Leo groaned.
"Leo, dat ain't Mike, it's Don!"
"Crap!"
"And that's where I found them when I came out of the game shop," Mikey gave his oldest brother an apologetic look when he finished his tale.
Splinter just stared. Well, THAT answered a few things. The rat squinted at Donnie as he and Raph returned to the kitchen. He could just make out tiny pink flecks on his genius son's shell.
He wondered if it would glow in the dark.
Maybe they should have lightless training tomorrow.
The brothers looked at one another. It was never a good thing when Splinter snickered like that. It always sounded... malevolent.
There were still a few things Splinter needed clarification on before he could even begin to put this entire incident to bed. He was the clan patriarch after all.
"What of the wedding tent?"
"Oh, that was nothing," Mikey grinned. "They did the owners of that tent a favor actually."
All four looked at Mikey with the same disbelieving expression.
"Please explain, my son."
"Well, you see there was this amateur film maker who was doing this disaster film for that upcoming film thing, and he set it up. He already used the tent for filming the wedding and reception part, and was going to film the disaster part later. Some kind of tornado meets zombie attack kinda thing."
"Mikey, how do you know this?" Leo asked, struggling to come to terms with the fact they weren't going to be repairing the destruction of the tent well into the wee hours of the morning.
"He had a sign up at the game shop asking for demo volunteers," Mikey grinned. "You guys just saved him a few bucks. He can get some footage of the mess the computer generate the tornado. Cool huh!?"
That was one word for it. Leo, Donnie, and Raph had others.
"And Donatello's substances?"
"I hosed that off before we came home," Leo said.
"And Donnie even let me keep the skateboard!"
Splinter nodded. "I assume the cactus spines have all been removed?" he leaned over glancing at Leo's bandaged tail.
"Hai, Sensei. Mikey and Raph picked them out."
Splinter knew his lack of response and continued nodded was racking havoc on his sons' nerves.
He kept doing it anyway.
"Did you obtain your desired video game, Michelangelo?"
"Yeah! I even got a new game console too!" This was news to Mikey's brothers. "The shop was having a sale for real! There was an ad on the back of Donnie's business section. I kinda saw it when I was cleaning the kitchen after breakfast."
Three groans and one chuckle was all that could be heard in the Hamato kitchen.
"What of the money the gentleman gave you?"
"There wasn't quite as much left as there would have been."
"Because of the game system?" Splinter asked.
"Well that, and buying paint remover for Don's shell. Guys, ever heard of water based? And getting some antiseptic for Leo's tail. Donnie's was old, and he didn't have much left anyway."
"Has the ladder rung been tightened?"
"Hai, Sensei. I tightened it while Donnie was seeing to Raph's chin injury."
"What of the paint and clothing at the club?"
"Da women shelterin' dere took care a da clothes, an' da paint was used by a bunch a kids ta paint da inside a da club. It was really good. Maybe da club owner'll keep it, gives da place some flare."
After everything that had happened, Splinter wasn't going to bother with trying to figure out how or why his brawler son came to know about interior decorating with neon pink paint. The rat was pretty sure it would come up again.
Like the next time he returned from visiting the Nexus.
That seemed to cover it.
Drawing a deep breath, Splinter stood. "I am going to go unpack. Michelangelo, please call me when the evening meal in on the table."
Leo, Donnie, and Raph stared after their father as the old rat walked from the room.
"Does anyone else feel like we got off real damned easy?"
Splinter's voice trailed in from his room. "Raphael! Language!"
"Yeah," Donnie looked at Leo.
"We did, the question is why."
"Maybe he's gonna do somet'in' at trainin' tomorrow?"
"We are so dead," Donnie groaned, laying his head on the table, cushioned by his crossed arms.
"Dudes, chill!" Mikey scoffed, setting a huge pan of lasagna on the table. "Sensei's not going to do a thing to you guys."
Leo moved his arms, making room for the basket full of rolls Mikey set on the table. "What makes you say that, Mike?"
"Yeah, yer da one we were goin' after. Sensei's not gonna do a t'ing ta you."
"Oh please!" Mikey snorted. "Sensei's punished all four of us even if only one of us screwed up ever since we started training. It was his way of teaching us teamwork. I'm just as screwed as you three if he decids to do anything. Which he's NOT."
"You obviously know something we don't," Donnie's headache must have eased up some, the purple ninja seemed to be feeling better. "So give."
"Well, Sensei's not going to punish you because it wouldn't be fair for him to let me off the hook. It WAS my pranking that started this whole thing after all," Mikey set a big bowl of salad beside the lasagna. "But they were meant to be fun, not malicious, and you guys were targeting me with your pranks. It's kinda unfair punishing the victim, or intended victim in this case." Grinning, Mikey leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. "And we all know what happens when something unfair comes my way."
"It ends up backfiring." Leo voiced what the other two were thinking.
Mikey just smiled.
"I'm going to go get Sensei. Would you guys set the table?"
Mikey's brothers nodded, watching their baby brother following after their father.
Donnie finally broke the silence. "Does anyone else feel like we just got pranked again?"
"A king was born... and they called him Michelangelo," Leo said.
"Dumb turtle luck." Raph sighed, setting the plates on the table.
Thanks for reading.