A/N: I joined another challenge today. In this fic, Draco is the on-call healer at St. Mungo's for the night. Now I've never had a baby, my experience coming mostly from baby shows, so I'm sorry this is inaccurate. I also don't know if wizards would call it 'obstetrics and gynaecology'. RxR. FxF.
Submission for: Cards Against Humanity Competition: Why can't I sleep at night? - The miracle of childbirth.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Draco sat in the breakroom, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, his forehead in the other. His shift had started just an hour ago and he already had to close two patients' gaping wounds. He hated nights like this when he was the only healer on call. It happened ever so often and no matter how much he complained to Doris, she never rearranged the schedule. He wanted to hate her but she was a nice woman overall. She just liked to see him sweat.
Like now. Her head popped into the breakroom, an evil smile coming over her face. "Healer Malfoy!" she called in a sing-song voice. He responded with a groan, causing her to laugh. "Come on, Draco, back to work. We have two ladies who scheduled their times today, you have to check up on Mrs Thatcher, and who knows how many 'emergencies' will come in tonight?"
He took a long sip of his coffee before rising from his seat. He grumbled, "There always seem to be 'emergencies' when I'm alone."
She laughed as he walked past her into the hall and then followed behind him. She handed him Mrs Thatcher's file. "Stop being a baby, Malfoy. Derrick will come to take over in the morning."
Malfoy took the folder begrudgingly, "That won't be for another 7 hours, Doris." Then he smirked at her, "At least you have to endure this torture with me as well."
Doris laughed and gave him a patronizing pat on the shoulder, "But I won't have my arms elbow deep in some woman's-"
A nurse ran up to the pair, waving her hands wildly. "Healer Malfoy, A Melanie Thomas just arrived with her water broken."
Doris smiled and said, "Go get 'em, tiger," but Draco had already been flying into action, handing her back Mrs Thatcher's file, with the nurse leading the way.
Other training healers had already placed the woman on a gurney and were floating her through the hall and into an empty room. He greeted the couple and introduced himself as he walked with the group. The father ran up to Draco's side and started talking rapidly, "We were sleeping in bed and the sheets was damp. She thought she accidentally wet herself, since she always needs to pee, but then the pain came and I flooed here immediately."
Draco nodded, not really listening to the man. There would be time for him to repeat later. Right now he had to focus on the woman who was about to shoot a baby out of her-
"AAAAHH!" the woman screamed, her face red from exertion. Her frantic husband held her hand comfortingly, but then she started to squeeze the living daylights out of it, the bones rubbing over each other gratingly.
The woman was transferred from the gurney onto the bed. First, Draco cast a few preliminary spells to check the woman's vitals and her current progress. It seemed she was almost completely dilated and her vitals were normal for her current state. Draco asked the nurse to cast a few muscle-relaxing spells, something to ease the pain but not enough to render her muscles useless. The woman still had to push this baby out.
The woman let out a sigh as the pain lessened, her face losing the extreme redness. She held her husband's hand lightly, her breathing slowing. Draco moved to the corner of the room for a pair of gloves and a mask. He turned to the couple, "Some fathers choose to leave the room at this part. It can get a bit... intense," Draco said with a sly smile. It was always funny to watch the fathers squirm, or better yet faint. He knew they would hear it later from their wives or girlfriends.
The pair looked at each other, the father looking like he would opt out but the woman spoke for the two of them, "He's staying," while giving his hand another tight squeeze.
Resisting the urge to shrug, Draco got into position in front of the woman, her legs already placed in the holsters. He placed his wand between his teeth, knowing he would need to have it on hand right after the baby was born. He nodded to the nurse to continue the muscle-relaxing spell, trusting her to perform it well and maintaining the intensity throughout. He hated doing that but as he said, there were no other healers tonight and he definitely wasn't going to trust the trainees with this. They weren't ready for something this important.
Taking a deep breath, he asked the woman to push. She gritted her teeth and did as he said, the veins on her neck bulging and her husband trying not scream out as his knuckles knocked on each other. The baby was crowning, something Draco was happy for, as the labour would not take too long. The woman pushed again, and again, sweat dripping down her face. She screamed bloody murder, cursing like a sailor to all deities, great men and women and at her husband. Her husband's face grew paler and paler, and Draco would have laughed but on that last push, the baby's head was out enough for Draco to grip.
Draco pulled swiftly but carefully and a baby was born! He cast a few quick spells - sterilization spells, vitals check, vaccination spells, warming spells, everything to ensure the baby's survival within the first few seconds. The nurse stopped the muscle-relaxing spell, the worst of the pain now over, and took the child from Draco's arms as he severed the umbilical cord. He pointed his wand towards the woman to clean her up and check her vitals once more.
He removed his mask and gloves as the nurse handed him the child, a little girl, swaddled in a yellow blanket. Her tiny mouth opened and shut softly, her eyes still closed against the harsh light. There were a short layer of fuzz on her small head. He held the child out to her parents. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Thomas. It's a girl," he said before handing her to the mother.
He and the nurse exited the room to give the family a moment to themselves, Draco instructing the nurse to ready the appropriate potions. Draco sighed as the fatigue caught up with him, his eyes threatening to close, but there was a smile on his face. The miracle of childbirth. That's what he signed up for when he chose to specialize in obstetrics and gynaecology. It was definitely a miracle and Draco loved being a part of it, adding a new member to a loving family. The joy, pride and care on their faces always warmed his normally cold heart.
He hadn't even walked a few feet from the door when Doris herself ran up to him. "There's another woman waiting for you in room 12 for the last 10 minutes and she's breaking glass back there with her voice," she said before practically dragging him in that direction. This is why I can't sleep at night. Oh the miracle of birth.