Disclaimer: I do not own Berserk. All ownership to the great Kentaro Miura.

Hello Strugglers. It's been a long time since I posted here but I just finished binge reading Berserk by Kentaro Miura and the cliffhanger he left me on was devastating, so I decided to just get all my feelings out in a little one shot. I hope you all enjoy it.

Berserk

Reunion Underneath the Sun Dappled Trees

By: MoonlightShadow1990

There she was. As beautiful as she'd always been. Standing in the grass, barefoot, dressed in all white, innocent and soft. If Guts had an ounce of patience left he'd have settled up against a tree to watch her for a moment from afar. But his patience had long run out and he hadn't much to begin with.

So he headed forth towards the clearing through the trees, where his beloved Casca was. Nervousness swept through his entire body, so much so, he wanted to vomit. He squeezed his fists tightly to keep his emotions down but damn it, it had been so long.

Casca had lost her memories after the most horrific night of their lives. The Eclipse. She'd closed into herself becoming nothing more than an infant, unable to protect herself, walk properly or even speak.

What was worse was when he'd woken up from the ordeal, four days later, he'd gone to see her with the hope of holding her to him and thanking Skull Knight for showing up when he did to get them out of there. However, that hope was far too fleeting.

Casca made his heart pound and his body hard and she'd been drenched under the waterfall wearing nothing more than a thin gown. That flimsy garment hid nothing from his eyes- or eye to be specific.

He'd stepped toward her and she stepped back. Fear so thick and palpable coursed through his veins. It couldn't be, he thought at first. So he tried again, reaching out to her, taking her hand, pulling her. But she pulled away, shrieking, a sound he'd never heard Casca make before. She ran to hide behind Erica, Godot the swordsmith's ward. Then Rickert explained to him that Casca didn't remember them and only trusted Erica, a female.

He couldn't blame her. Not after what had happened to her. It hurt. Pain seared through him white hot at her understandable rejection. So he'd ran out and cried because what else could he do? The emotions had welled up and rushed out of him in a torrent.

To Casca he was just some big, mean looking man in black who could hurt her just like the demons had… just like Griffith had.

Damn Griffith.

No. He wouldn't think of that bastard. Right now, it would be about Casca. He'd gotten his tears out, he'd killed tons of apostles and was ready to kill even more, he'd moved on. But Casca, she hadn't cried it out, she hadn't fought it out, hadn't come to terms with what had happened, hadn't made her resolve to fight.

And she would fight. Now that her memories were back, she would fight alongside him and he wouldn't stop her. He'd worry yes, and probably have one eye on her (albeit that's the only number of eyes he could have on her since he only had one now), but still he'd train harder and ensure that they both made it out of their battles together, maybe not unscathed, but together.

She needed to fight, just as he did.

That was why he didn't stop to give her time to herself. The moment the fairy queen had mind linked and told him she had awakened, he headed for her.

And there she was, damn it so beautiful. For a split second, Guts wanted to turn on his heel, run off, find a waterfall, or a lake, some freezing cold body of water, take his armor off and drench himself before coming to see her.

Maybe he should've found something else to wear. She was dressed differently, maybe he should've put a little more into their reunion underneath the sun dappled trees.

But he couldn't wait. He'd change later. He needed her, he needed her willingly in his arms; needed her willingly kissing him or slapping him- he didn't care. She could run him through with a sword too, anything, he just needed to know she was back to being the Casca he knew and loved.

And then it happened.

His eye locked on hers and the moment she saw him, he knew something was wrong because the wail she let out pierced the heavens, it was so loud it could burst eardrums.

Guts stopped, heart breaking. He could hear his heart shattering in his chest. This was it. She'd splinter again. She was going to regress again. She'd never be the same again.

"Guts!" Puck flicked his nose and Guts realized he was on the verge of hyperventilating, full scale panic was beginning to set in. "You don't look too good, what's wrong?"

"She's screaming," he gritted his teeth. He didn't like to show his more fragile side but Casca made him feel that way. She made him feel a lot of things. But he sure hated feeling as weak and useless as he did at that moment.

"It's not you," Puck told him.

"What?" He glared at the tiny blue haired winged elf who had been with him almost from the very beginning of his journey to destroy the apostles and terminate Griffith and the godhand.

"Guts, you're a fighter aren't you?" Puck asked him.

Guts didn't understand. Yes, he was a fighter and one hell of a fighter he was. He had all the scars to prove it- emotionally, physically and mentally.

"You're a fighter aren't you?" Puck was buzzing around his face.

"Yes you damned bug, I'm a fighter," he growled out. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Fighters don't run away do they?" Puck crossed his arms, his big eyes narrowing.

"No," Guts shook his head. "What are you trying to tell me?"

She's fighting a battle and you're running away!" Puck pointed at him. "

Was he trying to run? He'd never run away from a challenge before. But this was different wasn't it? No. It wasn't different. Puck was right. It was a battle and Casca, former leader of the Band of Hawk, was all alone fighting it.

Guts balled his fists and trudged forward, passing Puck only to stop for a moment and say, "Thanks."

"Go get her, Guts," Puck whispered but Guts could hear it clearly.

And get her he would. Guts strode forth and watched as Casca began to stumble back, away from him. Tears were pouring down her face. He could hear Schierke and Farnese's shock but he didn't care.

Casca was fighting. He wouldn't let her fight alone, he didn't know how to get her see she wasn't alone. He wasn't good with words like how Judeau had been, he really only knew how to use his sword.

His sword.

Guts reached back, grabbed the handle and pulled his sword from his back. Casca screamed and stumbled to the grassy floor. He didn't know what she was seeing but Guts lifted his sword and heard Ivalera, Puck, Schierke and Farnese scream at him. They didn't understand.

Good. It would freak him out if they understood something he didn't. All he knew was his sword, so he would use it.

"Guts what are your doing!" Farnese shrieked and stepped toward him, but Guts made it clear with his massive frame she was not to interfere.

Guts continued to close the space between him and Casca who was frightened out of her mind. She'd backed up into a tree, unable to go anywhere now. There were demons in her eyes and he would slay them all. Every hellish image, he'd destroy.

Guts lifted his sword and struck…

The ground.

The clearing went quiet as the thick Dragonslayer embedded itself into the grassy floor. And then Guts, on bended knee, held his head down. Subservient.

She couldn't possibly know it. But she was his queen.

He was her dark knight. Her very own dragon slayer. He couldn't protect her back then but he was different now, stronger now. He wanted her to use him. He didn't care for what purpose, just use him. Accept him and use him to slay all her demons, to seek her vengeance.

With his head down Guts did the only thing he could do at that moment. Wait.

Casca's entire body froze. The shadow had the shape of a hound, a dark hound. It had closed the space between them hadn't run her through with his sword. She'd seen demons all around that dark hound, they'd been everywhere and even beneath her. One had opened up on the ground beneath her, seeking to swallow her when suddenly, the dark hound impaled the creature with his mighty weapon.

Shocked, Casca watched as suddenly, demon in the ground was suddenly absorbed by the weapon. Then every demon hovering about, was pulled into the blade. There were so many, hundreds and hundreds sucked into the sword but the dark hound wasn't being pulled in.

And then all the demons were gone, and Casca found herself in a world of white, there was only the sword and the dark hound. The hound bent its massive head before her, a gesture of acquiescence to her. There was no ferocity in the creature. It was a powerful creature but before her it was unthreatening.

She stayed there, staring at the creature. It was waiting. She knew it was waiting. She didn't really know what it was waiting for but… but it was patient with her. Waiting for her to figure out what it was waiting for. She didn't have anything to give it. Was it hungry? Did it think she had food to feed it? No, that was stupid it was big enough to eat her if it was hungry.

Its fur was blacker than the blackest night, but it had a streak of white on top she realized. Had that white always been there? As she continued to stare, she began to see even more details about the hound.

The poor thing was missing part of his left arm and scars were everywhere. Had the hound been brutalized by someone or was this hound just a fighter who gained terrible wounds from every battle?

Battle. She could understand that. She had scars of her own. So they had something in common; that made her feel better. The hound didn't seem feral and it was still bent before her. She wanted to see its eyes. The eyes were the windows to a being's soul. Its eyes would tell her what she needed to know.

With a swallow, she got on her hands and knees and reached out with her right hand. It wouldn't bite her hand off. It wouldn't bite her hand off.

She closed her eyes and touched the hound's head. The fur was soft, so very soft, so very familiar. Why was it familiar?

She felt the big head push more into her hand, wanting more of her touch, almost begging for it. So she used her other hand to capture its big head and rub her hands into its furry skull. A tiny, barely there smile came onto her face. She wanted to see its eyes. This creature should've been ferocious and it probably was, but it was no danger to her.

Opening her eyes, she took the hounds muzzle and lifted it so she could stare into its face. She froze as she looked at the one, deep, dark, soulful brown eye staring back at her. She knew this eye. Poor creature was missing an eye, but she knew this creature and her heart broke for it.

Missing part of a limb, missing an eye, scars everywhere… it should've been a monstrous sight, but the creature before her was beautiful. Tears flowed down her face, and before she could stop herself, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against its missing eye.

The creature whimpered and she pulled back a little to look and see if she'd hurt him somehow. But what she saw shocked her to her core. A tear escaped the hound's only working eye and when she looked into the deep, watery orb… she remembered.

She remembered who this hound was.

"Guts"

With the calling of his name, the white world she'd been in shattered all around her and the lush green forest, the sunlight and the scarred face of the most beautiful man, her lover, appeared.

Guts inhaled shakily. It worked. Somehow it had worked. Kneeling before his queen, his Casca and allowing her to calm down, to clear away all her thoughts and only see him, had worked.

But he was shaken himself. He didn't know what to do now. She'd played in his hair, caressed his scarred face so lovingly and kissed his missing eye with such tenderness that it lit his entire body aflame. He just wanted to hold her but he was too afraid to make any sudden movements, afraid she'd pull away from him. He didn't want this moment to end.

And then she said his name "Guts"

His stomach flopped like a fish out of water, his heart pounded harder than a war drum. Taking a deep breath, he let her name pass his lips softly, "Casca"

"Are… are you real?" She hesitated.

He held out his hand to her, words were never his strong suit. Actions would be better, slow, careful actions. She put his hand in his, though she was still a bit wary.

Then gently he put her hand to his chest, where his heart lie, so she could feel the harsh pounding thrumming through his body, the rush of quickly flowing blood and flex of hot, hard muscles beneath his clothing.

"I'm real," his words barely a whisper. His body might not be soft, but for her, he could manage a bit of softness in his tone. "Are you real?"

She seemed confused by the question for a moment and then said, "I don't know, am I?"

"I don't know," he was staring at her, that dress she was wearing would be the end of him. Casca looked like the most ethereal creature he'd ever seen. He wanted to see more. "Do you want to find out?"

"Yes," she breathed. "How?" she asked but he felt she knew an answer because she licked her lips, so subtly.

Guts thought he'd spontaneously combust. He was finally talking to her and she was responding. What he wanted to do, really wanted to do, was kiss her. But he didn't trust himself. Him and his hands- yes even his mechanical one, had had many a night together.

He cleared his throat in an effort to somehow clear his mind. Then stood to his feet, turned to Farnese and held out his hand. "Give me your sword."

With wide green eyes, he saw her gawk back at him. He couldn't blame her, this supremely gentle side of him was very new to her eyes. He didn't let people see that side, but he could care less about people. All that mattered was getting his feelings across to Casca and if he had to kneel before her, cry his heart out, speak softly, he'd do it. Appearances could go to the pits for all he cared.

He was thankful, Farnese didn't ask questions. She handed him her short dagger-like blade and he gave her a nod of gratitude. Then turning back to Casca who was watching him, he returned.

"You want to know if you're real or not?" He asked. With a toss of the blade, he caught the tip and held out the sword to her. "Fight me."

"What?"

"Take this sword and fight me," He dropped the blade before her then reached for Dragonslayer. With ease it slipped from the earth and he attached it to his back. Then he pulled out a dagger from the set on his chest. "Stand up Casca, fight me. Then you'll know if you're real."

Suddenly Puck was in his ear. "Are you a fool Guts?" he asked. "A kiss would've been better."

"Shut up and stay out of this," Guts flicked him away.

"See if I ever help you out again, baka" Puck humphed and floated to the side, rubbing his sore backside.

"Yea, yea," Guts turned his attention back to Casca who now had the sword in her hand. "Good, now get up." He said, voice gruff.

"I- I don't want to fight," she let out.

"Why?" he glared. "You're not injured. You on your period or something?"

Everyone gasped and he began to sneer at them. "This isn't an event so all of you can just go away." With that, everyone watching began to back off, hide in the bushes, behind trees, still watching.

"My period?" Casca said and he saw a twitch at her left temple. It was a tiny little spasm but it was there, none the less.

"Yeah, you know, the bleeding that comes out your snatch every month?" He continued. "Surely you couldn't forget about that bodily process all women have. I know I can't forget it." He turned from her and a tiny, knowing smirk lit onto his face. It was almost cruel. "Remember when you stupidly went out to battle and ended up being an inconvenience to me? I got shot in my side protecting you. I still got the scar, you want to see it?"

He paused and turned to look down at her.

"No? We fell into a ravine off a cliff hundreds of houses high, remember that? I was in full armor and I had to swim us to land. You nearly got us killed. It was raining too, and bloody cold. I remember it clearly. I found a cave, stripped you naked- I saw all of you, every little bit. You got a little dark spot on your inner thigh. I saw it when I cleaned up all the blood from your folds."

"Shut up," Casca's voice was low, menacing even.

"What? Say it again?" He pretended not to hear her. "I stripped you naked, saw all of you and wiped your bloody folds because you were too weak and in too much pain to do anything!"

"Shut up," she said again, in the same tone.

"I've never seen a weaker woman," he scoffed at her. "All shivering and in a baby position. I had to pull you into my arms to keep you warm so you don't fade away how weak and pathetic you were."

"I said shut up!" She got to her feet suddenly and her body took up a fighting stance so natural to her even though she hadn't fought in over two years.

"Shut up? Make me." He gave her his cruelest, most vicious smirk. He was certain he had the best shit-face ever. Some elf watching in the trees would probably write a malicious ode to it. "Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if you can't. You being as weak as you are."

And then a blood curdling snarl ripped from her throat and Casca attacked like the wild cat he knew her to be. Guts' pulse jumped as he evaded her strike and then evaded again and again and then blocked with his dagger.

"I am not weak!" She shouted at him and even though he could tell her movements were rusty, she still had all the technique he remembered. She was an amazing hellcat but he wanted more.

"Aren't you though?" He gave her a side eye. "I mean look at you, you can't even put a scratch on me!"

Casca slashed at him and he blocked easily. It saddened him that she now stood zero chance at beating him in a one v one, he'd been fighting demons every night, almost every day since being branded. He'd been slaying apostles whenever he could find them. He'd been busting his ass with little respite.

She really couldn't put up much of a fight with the state she was currently in either. She needed to get all those soft curves trained and strengthened again. She had no muscle definition now, but her body had potential… so much potential.

She sliced his cheek and he stepped back. "Ha!" She shouted in victory tossing the blade down.

"Damn it woman!" He strode forward so unexpectedly, she shrieked. He was a helluva lot faster too, his reaction time almost god-like. He grabbed her shoulders and the little hellcat jumped onto his torso, nearly missing his jewels, and kneed him in his angular jaw. He'd forgotten how absolutely flexible Casca was. But her attack wasn't strong enough to overpower him.

"I am not weak!" she growled at him. "I am not pathetic!"

He pulled her into a bear hug and she tried to shake loose but she couldn't. Placing his face into her neck and grabbing two handfuls of her luscious, curvy ass, he held her to his hard body and in her ear he whispered, "No you're not," he said. "But you are alive. No mistake, you are real and so am I… we survived."

He felt the tension leave her body, she wasn't fighting him anymore. He loosened a little, not wanting to accidently suffocate her. He could so easily break her, but Casca was strong.

"We survived," she whispered.

"Yes," Then pulled back to look down into her face. "We survived Casca."

"Just us?" her lips shook with the words.

They had a lot to talk about, a lot to catch up with, but if she didn't close off from him, he was certain they could handle even the hardest discussions to have and there were so many things he was dreading bringing up.

"Just us," he confirmed.

She knew what that meant, her eyes told him that she knew exactly what that meant. The Band of the Hawk was gone and never, ever coming back. He watched her take a shaky breath, trying desperately to be strong. He took her hand in his and squeezed it, so she'd know he was with her, going through the remembering with her, the pain with her.

"Griffith?"

"Dead." Guts really didn't want to discuss that particular bastard at that moment.

Casca's eyes widened in shock "No he's not," She shook her head. "Griffith's not dead."

"Yes he is," Guts lined his voice with steel. "To me he is."

He hadn't lied to her. Griffith had died the day they'd rescued him from the torture chamber. He'd been a different man when they'd busted him out- physically, mentally, emotionally. He wasn't the same Griffith, not in Guts' eyes.

"He should be dead to you too," Guts told her.

"Don't decide that for me," She glared. "So he's alive."

"In a manner of speaking," Guts really didn't want to talk about this. It was making him angry. If she still thought of Griffith as some shining, benevolent white knight he'd stab something.

"What manner of speaking?" she pulled from him and crossed her arms.

Guts took a long suffering sigh. "In exchange for the lives of the Band of the Hawk, Griffith was changed by a faction called the Godhand, demonic beings that cause calamities and bring hell on earth. He was reborn as a fifth member of that faction and they called him Femto."

"So he's a god now?"

"Yes," Guts confirmed.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," she took a deep, deep breath. "He was always ambitious. One of the things to love about him."

Guts felt a strong thread of jealousy rush through him at Casca using the word love and referring to his most hated enemy.

"It's so clear to me now," Casca continued and turned away from him. "You remember when we talked about the campfire lights being everyone's dreams and Griffith's light being the strongest of them all. So strong he pulled all the lights to him, making his light shine even brighter?"

"Yes," Guts said. He'd never forget the beautiful picture it had been. He'd likened himself to a wanderer who'd just stopped by to warm up at that fire. He hadn't realized that somehow he'd been much needed oil for Griffith's fire to remain as vibrant as it had become.

"Too much of anything is never a good thing," Casca wrapped her arms around herself. "He was too bright, too blinding. I see it now," she sniffed. "His light was hypnotic, I couldn't stop staring at it. I lost myself in it, in him. I couldn't see that his fire was raging out of control. None of us could, so we all got burned..." then she looked at him, a saddened expression on her face, in her eyes. "Even the wanderer who'd just stopped by to warm up".

She reached out to him and touched his missing eye and then found his left arm with the cold mechanical enhancement. Then with that hand she put it to her core, shocking him to his core. She pressed the hand in between and let the tears come and fall from her eyes. She'd been burned deeply in her most private of regions. Watched her family- the Band of the Hawk killed brutally. Raped by demons. Raped by Griffith turned demon god. Lost their baby… their baby… their baby…

She leaned into his chest and began to weep. Guts closed his own eye and felt the tears drain down because Casca's crying was, at first soft but then, as he suspected once the first tears came out a torrent would follow and she cried, and cried loudly unable to stop herself from the screaming pain. She held onto him, gripped onto him tightly, so tightly. Her body shook, convulsed until her legs gave out and he swept her up into his arms and she continued to cry.

This is what he wanted. He'd wanted her to see him again, speak to him again, he'd wanted her to fight again and then he wanted her to cry her heart out. Sob, morn and rage. He let her ball her fists and pummel his chest at everything that had happened. He wanted her to do this because she hadn't been able to.

She'd pulled into herself to block out all of it and that wasn't healthy. She needed to scream, she needed to weep, she needed to accept the things they couldn't change. Then he would need her to get stronger because they were going to fight. They were survivors of a heinous demonic ritual that left them bloodied and scarred in more ways than one. But together, together they would press on, they would overcome.

And if by the slimmest chance Casca no longer wanted to fight, he'd be fine with that; because he'd fight for them. He was her knight. He would exact vengeance for her and their child that was tainted by that bastard Griffith. He'd get stronger, even stronger so that he would never be put back in a position where he could do nothing but uselessly watch his leader, his friend, his lover be horrifically raped before him.

"I'm going to kill him Casca," He kissed her forehead as she began to snuffle. "Not just him though, all of them. The Godhand and every apostle too. They will all taste my blade, they will all suffer at my hand. They will regret the day they ever came into being. I don't care if they are devil or god. That shit don't matter to me. One way or another, I'm going to make them all pay."

"Get in line, black swordsman" she sniffled and looked up at him. Her eyes were red and puffy but that inner strength he knew she possessed shone brightly. "Or should I say mostly black?"

"You mean…"

She nodded and then pulled out of his arms and stood on her own. "I'm gonna need to get back into fighting condition," she looked at her arms. "My body feels foreign, really weird like this."

It felt rather nice to him, being all softly female everywhere, but he knew what she meant.

"And I want to know everything," she said and he could hear the commanding intonation of her voice returning, that oddly turned him on. Soft Casca was amazing but hardass Casca was a delight to his senses. He was tough so she'd need to get tougher too if she was going to be handling him.

"Don't hold the details either," she poked his chest. "I know you're not wordy but you'll have to try."

"Once you don't regress back into the state you were," he crossed his arms, ready to be flayed by her.

"I won't," she stiffened. "I- admit I didn't handle what happened in a good way-"

"Stop," he cut her off. "Listen, I'm not going to beat you up over how your body handled the situation. You pulled into yourself because you had to. If you hadn't you might've killed yourself a thousand times and we wouldn't be here now." He pulled her to him closer. "I like where we are now. We can move forward now, get stronger now and kick the asses of every fucking demon that comes against us now. We couldn't back then, but we can right now. We were both useless. We couldn't do anything about the situation those bastards put us in. I- I never felt so fucking weak in my life." He gritted his teeth, his whole body tensing.

"I tried to get to you," he said. "I fought to get to you and failed. I cut off my arm trying to reach you and failed but I swear it to you Casca. I swear that will never happen again. I'll kill us both before I ever let that happen to us again."

"Black Swordsman indeed," she whispered at his ferocity and all the feelings pouring out of him. "Were you always this talkative? I don't think so."

He turned a little red in the face. Here he was spilling his guts and she had the audacity to make fun of him. He was about to flay her with a particularly colorful word but then he saw her smile and that word and every other word blanked out of his head.

"I like you a little talkative," she moved even closer to him, they were like magnets always attracting each other. Her hand boldly cupped his groin and his eye went wide. "We've got a lot of catching up to do so that's good. I also seem to recall you saying you wanted to have me hundreds-

"Thousands," he corrected

She smiled softly, "Yes thousands of times", she said. "I hope that wasn't just lip service."

"I can prove it wasn't," he went even harder, his body naturally pushing into her hand.

"I'm sure you can," she nodded and then began to squeeze… hard. "But if I recall a while ago you had a lot to say about my snatch in front of everyone and I really didn't appreciate it."

Guts swallowed as sweat began to break out all over. His body had gone through lots of training to become as hard as it was but that particular place hadn't had any training at all, so her squeezing him was really a weakness he didn't think he could overcome against her.

"Do you remember what you told that whale idiot from Doldrey who kept gabbing on about wanting to use me as his army's plaything?"

He didn't like where this memory was taking him. If he recalled correctly he was sure he warned them against that because…

"You are the only man who comes close to me biting that particular something off…" she gripped him even hard, making him grit his teeth. "So you better watch your mouth when referring to my snatch or I'll unman you with mine. Got it?"

He gave her a stiff nod just so she could be satisfied with her threat and let him go. Once she did, she turned and he smacked her hard on her backside, so hard she jumped, both feet in the air and by the time she turned around, he was walking off in the opposite direction.

He could hear her cursing him and heard Puck's buzzing wings. He knew Puck would see the smile on his face, he tried to use his hand to cover it but it didn't work so he gave up hiding it. The smile went from ear to ear, it probably wasn't creepy. He was far too warm and happy inside about Casca being back to normal to put on a creepy smile.

In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd think all the females and maybe a few of the males he passed through the forest, who happened to see his expression probably fainted at the sight because he was certain his smile was the brightest thing next to the moon shining in the clear night sky.

But he wouldn't be fooled by this momentary happiness, this success. No, he'd revel in it for a little but he wouldn't lose focus of his goal. He would destroy Griffith, the Godhand and the apostles, with Casca back, he was now more certain than ever that he would prevail.

And that's it! I hope it was enjoyable! Please comment if you liked or not. I'm not sure if I got all the details spot on about certain events that happened but I'm still very pleased with what I wrote.

Thank you guys for reading! And until we meet again, keep struggling.