"Dammit, Ryuzaki!" Mr. Yagami shouted at the strange insomniac sitting next to him. "We've been monitoring my son for the last two days! Do you mean to tell me that you still think that there is a chance that Light is Kira?"
"I am seven percent sure that your son is Kira, Chief," L droned with his thumb between his teeth as he stared, unblinking, at Light Yagami. "And until I'm less than one point five eight two seven percent sure, we will have to continue to watch Light."
Mr. Yagami sighed in frustration and resisted the urge to slump in his seat, as that would be unprofessional.
L continued to stare at Light with his sleep deprived owl eyes, ever successful in giving Mr. Yagami the heebie jeebies. L's eyes widened when Light loosened his belt and undid his fly. Yagami recoiled and shielded his eyes. "Ryuzaki! Please tell me that you'll stop the recording now!"
"I don't think so, Chief," L replied. "This is highly important to the Kira investigation."
"Could you at least stop rubbing your nipples?" Yagami demamded to know.
"No. If I did, it would reduce my deductive reasoning skills by fifteen percent."
"Pardon me, Ryuzaki, but you are full of shit!"