A Halloween Story

It was seven o'clock and there was a full moon. Children of Quahog were getting ready for a night of tricks and treats.

(At the Griffin house...)

Lois: Oh Stewie, your going to but the cutest little kitty cat in all of Quahog.

Stewy: Woman! What have you done to me?

(Stewie, dressed like a pink kitten with a long tail and pointy ears, looks disgusted at himself in a mirror.)

(Peter walks in )

Peter: Hey Lois. Where are the eggs? Cleveland, and Quagmire and me have a "plan."

Lois: Ah, Peter, please don't waste our eggs on your childish pranks.

Peter: Ummm......who said I was pranking someone...I just want to make a omelet.

Lois: Then why are you wearing a hat that says "I'm gonna prank someone and not make omelets????"

Peter: uhhhh.....because.....ummmm....HEY, LOOK OVER THERE IT'S ELVIS AND WONDER-WOMAN!!!(hehehehehe)

(Peter sprints into the kitchen as Meg runs down the stairs)

Meg: Mom, can I go to Jane's house. She's having a Halloween party and I really want to go. Please Please Please.....

Lois: I'm sorry sweetheart. I told Stewie that you would take him trick or treating tonight..

Stewie: Oh yes, Meg, you are taking me -- the cat, the kitty cat -- trick or treating. (Evil laugh erupts from the baby, who is now busy preening in front of the mirror.)

Meg: My life it so unfair. I hate this family.

(Meg runs to her room and slams her door.)

(Brian, oblivious to the fighting, walks from the kitchen into the family room.)

Brian: Hi Lois. Peter is trying to take the eggs out of the kitchen, you might want to stop him from egging Joe's house, what with the court order and all.

(A long, awkward moment of silence)

Brian: Lois, what's wrong?

Lois: Oh Brian! Halloween is such a stressful time of year. You see, Meg wants to go to a party but I told Stewie she'd take him out to get treats tonight. Peter is about to go out and egg Joe's house, and I have to stay at home and hand out Halloween candy.

Brain: Look Lois, I can take Stewie out trick-or-treating so meg can go to her party.

Lois: Oh Brian that's a wonderful idea.

Stewie: Noooooooooooo not the dog...I'm a cat - a kitty cat - and he's a dog!!!!!

(Brian laughs, looking over at Stewie in his costume.)

Brian: Oh my god. You are a cat??? I thought you where a very ugly rabbit.

Stewie: SHUT YOUR MOUTH dog!!! I can destroy you with my long, rapier-like claws whenever I wish, you filthy mongrel.

Brian: Ok, Mr. Pink Racoon, let's go knock over some 10-year-olds and steal their candy.. . .

(At Joe and Bonnie's house)

Peter: Ah, ok guys, listen up. Quagmire, you take the west side of the house. Cleveland, you take the east. I Peter Griffin, the military mastermind of this operation, will go where no man has gone before......to the front porch.

To Be Continued