Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or its characters, not even Danny and Steve (sigh). No copyright infringement intended,
Note: Complete and total fluff. Danny needs a babysitter for Charlie and Steve is quick to volunteer. Danny has misgivings. The relationship status of our two favorite crime fighters is left completely up to the reader.
Danny sighed as he hung up the call with Rachel. Resigned, he glanced through the glass walls of his office to where Steve was sitting behind his own desk. His partner was giving every appearance of doing paperwork, but in reality, Danny thought, he was probably surfing the web looking for deals on hand grenades or cargo pants. Danny heaved himself out of his chair and made his way to Steve's office where he leaned against the door frame waiting for Steve to acknowledge his presence. He had no doubt that his partner was aware of his movement the second he stood up and walked out of his own office, so the fact that Steve was pretending not to know Danny was standing in his doorway was ridiculous.
"Give it up, Steve. I know you're not so engrossed in paperwork that you haven't noticed me standing here for the last 30 seconds." The air quotes around the word paperwork were not just implied. As Steve finally glanced up from his computer, Danny walked fully into the office and plopped down heavily on the couch. It didn't take long for Steve's curiosity to get the best of him.
"Everything okay, Danny?" Steve asked, glancing up from his computer.
Danny's answer was emphatic, "no, everything is not okay. I just got off the phone with Rachel. When is anything ever okay after a call from my ex-wife?"
Steve immediately straightened up in his chair, the concern evident on his face and in his posture. "What's the matter? Is it one of the kids? What's wrong?"
"The kids are fine. It's Charlie's babysitter. She has the flu."
"Well that sucks," Steve said. Then a thought appeared to occur to him and he was off on a very un-Steve-like tangent before Danny could stop him. "Shit. Do you think Charlie's been exposed? It's been three years since the bone marrow transplant. His immune system isn't still compromised is it? Oh God, he's had the flu shot, right? Although, I heard it's not very effective this year. Is Rachel taking him to the doctor? What are you waiting for? Come on, let's go." Steve was half-way to the door before Danny could stop him.
Danny jumped up and grabbed his partner's arm, leading him back to his chair. "Steve. Steven. Calm down, you goof. Charlie is fine. He's not sick and he does not need to go to the doctor." Hands on Steve's shoulders, Danny pushed the larger man back down into his chair.
Steve sank heavily into his seat and glanced up and Danny. "Charlie's okay?" he asked, the concern and relief evident in his voice.
"Yes, Charlie is fine. I told you that before you went off half-cocked like a crazy person." Danny shook his head and returned to his seat on the couch. Sometimes he forgot just how much Steve cared about his kids. It was outbursts like this that drove the fact home for Danny. "The problem is that the babysitter is sick and can't watch Charlie tonight. It's parent-teacher night at Grace's school and Rachel and I both really need to be there. We could take Charlie, but he would be bored out of his mind and it will probably be past his bedtime before it's over. And an overly tired six-year-old is not someone you want to deal with in public if it can be avoided. "
"Not a problem. I'll watch him." Steve shrugged as if to say it was no big deal and should have been the obvious solution to Danny's dilemma.
"I was half hoping and half afraid you'd say that."
"What? Charlie loves me. I've watched him before and we always have a great time. And, I've always returned him to you in the same condition as you left him."
"Yes. You have always returned Charlie in the same condition as I left him . . . my house on the other hand, not so much." Visions of the chaos and havoc Steve and Charlie could wreck when left alone together for an extended period of time flitted through Danny's mind. Maybe having Steve babysit tonight wasn't such a good idea after all. It wasn't so bad during the daytime when he and Charlie could play outside, but at night when they were forced to occupy themselves indoors, it could be a very different story.
"What? What are you talking about? Are you talking about the blanket fort? We didn't destroy anything. I was just telling Charlie a few stories about the fun things Mary and I used to do as kids and he said he'd never built a blanket fort." Steve looked at his partner accusingly. "Danny," Steve rebuked, "the kid is six years old, how could you not have shown him how to build a blanket it fort? It's one of the simple joys of childhood."
"Steven." Danny hopped up from his seat on the couch and started pacing, arms waving as his took his partner to task. "That was not a blanket fort. That was an every-blanket-sheet-and-towel-I-own fort. There were no linens left in the entire house. I was doing laundry for days." He stopped in front of Steve's desk, hands on hips, and stared his partner down.
Unfazed, Steve looked up at him with complete innocence. "But Danno, it was so cool." And that right there, ladies and gentlemen, was exactly why Danny was hesitant to ask Steve to babysit. Steve's motto was simply: "If it's cool, do it."
"Ugh," Danny threw up his arms. "Leaving you and Charlie alone is like leaving two six-year-olds alone in the house by themselves."
Steve sighed. "Okay, I promise no blanket forts tonight. But Charlie's going to be so disappointed. I promised him that next time we'd add armaments."
"Armaments. Armaments!" Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Steven, you will not weaponize my house."
"Not real weapons, Danny. Just things like water balloons and Nerf guns, maybe a few harmless booby traps." Danny's right hand came up to his forehead as he shook his head and groaned. Steve continued, "Charlie needs to learn these things and who better to teach him than me, a former Navy SEAL?"
The bad part was that Danny knew, absolutely knew without a doubt, that Steve was completely serious. The time his partner gave Grace's Aloha Girls troupe a knife-throwing lesson was proof enough of that. "No, Charlie does not need to learn these things. Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? You are trying to indoctrinate my son. You are trying to turn him into a mini-SEAL. No. No. Just no." Each "no" was emphasized with a quick slicing movement of Danny's right hand. "You are not going to turn my sweet little innocent boy into a Steve McGarrett clone. I will not have it, do you hear me? Absolutely not."
Unperturbed by his partner's outburst, Steve waited until it appeared the rant was finished before asking, "Are you done?"
"Humph." With that one sound Danny let the tension leave his body, replaced by resignation. "I'm just saying, can't you play Lego or watch a Disney movie or something? Does it always have to be war games and covert ops?"
"Sometimes we play race cars. I mean he has that awesome cool bed and all. But, Danny, you're being hypocritical and you know it. You told me yourself that you played cops and robbers all the time when you were a kid. I teach Charlie things about engineering, strategy, problem solving. It's always about defense and protecting the innocents. We always try to figure out how to outsmart the bad guys, not how to kill them. We're just having fun. You should be grateful to have such a well-trained babysitter watch Charlie."
Danny sighed. He knew when he was beat. Steve was an excellent babysitter even if he was slightly over-exuberant at times. A little extra laundry and a few messes were a small price to pay for knowing his son was safe, loved, and well cared for. Because, if there was one thing Danny knew for sure, it was Steve McGarrett would never let anything happen to Charlie. Besides, his son did love it when Steve babysat. Danny groaned again just thinking of the possibilities of what those two could get up to if left alone for an entire evening.
"Okay, fine." Danny placed his hand over his heart and said in the most sarcastically sincere voice possible, "Steve, would you please come over to my house tonight and watch Charlie? It would help me out a lot and I'd really appreciate."
Steve leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Sure thing, Danny, I'd love to."
Danny nodded his thanks and returned to his office. As he sat down behind his desk he wondered what sort of mischief his two boys would get into when left without adult supervision for a night.
H50 * H50 * H50 * H50 * H50
It was almost 10:00 when Danny got home from the parent-teacher night activities. The evening started with an assembly, followed by conferences with each of Grace's teachers. As he already knew, Grace was doing well in all of her classes, although her science teacher expressed concern that Grace's science projects always seem to involve some type of explosion. Danny assured the woman that Grace was not a budding arsonist or terrorist, it was just that he had a crazy ex-SEAL as a partner. Since Steve was a not so closeted science nerd, he always enthusiastically volunteered to help Grace with her projects and since there was very little that Steve loved more than a good explosion, every project to date involved one to some extent or another. This year it was actually an implosion. He and Grace built a miniature city block and then strategically set small charges, so that one of the high-rise buildings imploded without damaging any of the surrounding structures. Danny had to admit that it was a great lesson in structural engineering and physics. Once Danny explained all this to Grace's teacher, the whole time ignoring Rachael's glare, the woman seemed much less worried about the possibility that Grace was destined for some type of future felonious, or possibly treasonous, behavior. As Danny entered the house and walked into the living room, Steve glanced over from where he was leaning back on the couch with his feet on the coffee table watching Discovery Channel. "How'd it go?" Steve asked.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Danny glanced around. No blanket fort and the house looked to be in one piece. "Charlie asleep?"
"Yeah, I put him to bed about an hour ago. We did a few laps around the Indy track, I read him a story, and he went right to sleep. You sure do make good kids, Danny. "
"Thanks, I certainly think so. Let me just go peek in on him and I'll be right back." Once Danny assured himself that Charlie was sleeping safe and sound in his bed, he returned to the living room and sat down next to Steve. "Thanks for looking after him tonight, Steve. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time before." Danny gave Steve's leg a pat.
"Anytime, Danny. I love spending time with Charlie, you know that." Steve's attention was momentarily drawn to the television. "Aww man, awesome, I forgot that next week is Shark Week. Charlie's going to be so excited when I tell him." When the commercial was over Steve turned his attention back to Danny. "Hey, you never told me how things went tonight. I assume there was nothing but praise for Grace from all her teachers."
Danny chuckled at Steve affectionately. The other man was so open about his love for Grace and Charlie. As far as Steve was concerned, Grace and Charlie were two of the greatest kids who ever lived. Danny knew Steve would fight anyone who tried to say otherwise. His children were lucky to have Steve. Children could never have too many loving adults in their lives and Grace and Charlie were just as secure in their Uncle Steve's love as they were in Danny's. In Steve they had a playmate, sure, but they also had someone who could teach them things Danny could not. They knew that Steve, like their father, would always protect them, would always be there for them no matter what. His love for them and their's for him was unconditional. Danny was so grateful that. Sure, sometimes Steve went a little overboard, but it was all worth it. His children were very lucky indeed.
"It went fine. Grace is doing well in all of her classes and her extracurricular activities are diverse enough that she ought to have a very impressive college application in a couple years." Although, his monkey going off to college was definitely something Danny didn't want to think about right now. Or ever.
"Humph. I knew there was nothing to worry about. Grace is so smart and talented none of her teachers could possibly have anything bad to say." Danny shook his head. He really hoped Grace never fell off that pedestal Steve had her on because it would be a very long, painful drop to the ground. Steve yawned, "It's getting late and Charlie wore me out, I guess it's about time I head home."
"Why don't you just stay here tonight?" Danny suggested. "I'll make breakfast as a thank you for babysitting."
H50 * H50 * H50 * H50 * H50
"MCGARRETT! Steven J. McGarrett, get in here right this second!" Danny yelled from the kitchen where he had been planning to make pancakes, blueberry for Steve and chocolate chip for Charlie. Now it looked like they would be lucky to have toast for breakfast. After much more time than it should have taken Steve to get to the kitchen, the other man finally shuffled in. Steve leaned a hip against the counter, the picture of confused innocence. He looked at Danny who was holding a milk carton in one hand and an egg carton in the other and asked, "You bellowed?"
"Steve, would you care to explain to me why when I came into the kitchen to make pancakes and reached into the refrigerator to retrieve the half gallon of milk and one dozen eggs I purchased two days ago, all I found was one egg and barely enough milk to fill an eyedropper?" Danny held up the items in his hands and waved them in front of Steve just in case he needed a visual aid.
"Uh, well, I mean, you said no blanket forts or wargames. You didn't say anything about science experiments."
Danny looked at Steve without speaking for a full minute before he simply turned and placed the empty milk carton in the trash and returned the single egg to the refrigerator. As he exited the kitchen, he said, "Go get dressed. It looks like the three of us are going out for breakfast this morning."
Steve just grinned and followed his partner, "I'll go wake up Charlie."
End
2nd Note: Thanks for reading. If you're interested in Steve and Charlie's kitchen science experiments, a couple are detailed below. And, can I just stay that I wish Steve had been my babysitter when I was a kid.
Plastic milk
1 cup of milk
4 teaspoons of white vinegar
A bowl
A strainer
Heat up the milk until it is hot, but not boiling. Remove from heat and add vinegar and stir for about a minute. Pour the milk through a strainer into the sink leaving a mass of lumpy blobs. When cool, rinse the blobs and mold the lump into a shape. It will harden in a few days.
Egg in a Bottle
Boiled Egg (pealed)
Glass Bottle with an opening smaller than the egg
Lighter or match
Paper strip
Take the strip of paper and light one end and quickly place it in the bottle and set the egg (small end down) on top. The egg will slide into the bottle almost immediately because the pressure in the bottle is reduced when the fire consumes the oxygen in the bottle. Because the egg prevents more air from entering the bottle, the force of the air pressure outside the bottle, pushes the egg inside.