Disclaimer : Twilight people along with the idea are owned by the beautiful mind of SM and SM alone. I'm just playing around with a few ideas =]
EPOV
I sigh as the sun slowly starts to make its way into the darkness. The change is too minor for human eyes to see. Having heighten senses is just one of the many things we find ourselves counting on to keep our true self's inconspicuous to humans. Any moment Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme and Tanya should be returning from last nights hunt. Carlisle had to work a double at the hospital which meant he wouldn't be home until we would be getting home from school later this evening. Casting one last glance to the window I knew today would be overcast with out even needing to ask Alice when she got home.
I began to shower and get dressed knowing once my family and Tanya arrived the bathrooms would be hostile territory. After dressing I went and locked myself in my room attempting to prolong the time I had before Tanya would be at my side reliving the last 12 hours we had spent apart. Isis slept soundly at the end of the long black leather couch on the east wall of my room. Alice talked Esme and Carlisle into allowing her to get the kitten a few years back. With such ideas of how having a kitten in the house will help Jasper control his blood lust, also how it is very 'human' to own a pet. Knowing the only people in the house to give away her true longings of owning a cat would never tell her other motives. Jasper was too in love with her to ever say anything that could take away any small part of Alice's happiness while I would never tell the true thoughts that ran through her mind about how much love she would pour into this small animal. While it might have been Alice's idea to get Isis she has not left my side since the day of her arrival.
Naming her Isis after the Egyptian god of desire was something of a small in house joke. Anything with a beating heart and blood running through its veins make the venom in our mouths begin to pool. Even though I doubt any of us would ever sink so low as to fest on a cat, Isis being in the house has seemed to help Jasper with his lust. "Man three bears in one hunt today's looking up! Too bad Alice is going to flip when she sees this new shirt is ruined but it was worth it…." "I wonder if I could get Emmett to go shopping with me today we could take my car and leave straight after school…" With Emmett and Rosalie's thoughts coming into range I made my way down stairs to make sure Isis had food and water.
By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs the rest of my family's thoughts were swimming in my mind. Tanya seemed to be running behind trying to get an elk in on the way back to the house. Normally Tanya doesn't go into town but since Emmett's and Jaspers last x-box game ended with Esme's couch and loveseat being ruined Esme invited her and wanted to make sure she was in full control. With Tanya's thoughts coming at last I awaited the minute and 31 seconds until she made her way into the house with dread while making my way back to my room. Ever since our family found Tanya's clan she has wanted me. I have always turned her down in the nicest way I could think of. I knew I was doomed to live this life by myself. Around a decade ago on a hunting trip Emmett and Jasper tricked me into going they raised availed point. Am I doomed to walk this world by myself for the rest of time mainly because I wont let anyone join me? Tanya beauty was undeniable, a shy shorter then I, with strawberry blonde locks that seem to curl on their own. Grace that shames most vampires, yet it just didn't feel right.
I tried to explain this to my brothers, Emmett didn't hear me, he was busy blaming me for not even trying. Jasper being an empathy knows more of what I am feeling then I do. "The idea of a mate Edward makes you happy yet you try to push it down, if its Tanya or not is completely up to you but you wont even let yourself try you hide when she comes around." He told me on the way home from what seemed like the longest hunt of my life, while we sat watching Emmett toy with his crazed bear before moving in on the kill. When I brought up the subject with Carlisle once we arrived home he confessed my brothers came to him before they bated me on the trip. "Edward, I have watched while you just drift and let time pass by. I believe the reason you do not let yourself try to have a mate is you feel you must live this life on your own. That you are a monster one that must go through this world with no love. I have never doubted your love for you family but I think you are scared of opening and letting someone into your soul. I think you see what you have done in your past as a reason why you find yourself unworthy of love." Leaving Carlisle's study I couldn't help but feel guilty for causing Carlisle and Esme so much worry and pain for nearly a past century. The faith and love they held in their hearts for me was truly of a parents, I could never doubt that.
While his insight was different then the others and giving me a new angle to look at this idea from I still didn't feel whole hearted at the idea of spending time with Tanya. It felt too much like I was using her. I found it indifferent wither or not I ever returned the feelings that Tanya had feasting inside herself for me, not even taking into account what happened if the feelings were never returned. What if this did turn out more then just a friendship would I want to look back and remember that it started out with intensions of using her as a test run? I decided the next time the Denali clan came for a visit I would try to let Tanya in, not as a mate but as a friend and see where things lead from there.
The following day driving home from school I heard a new set of thoughts coming from our house quickly picking up on the fact that they were Tanya's I slammed on my breaks turning to face Alice. It was then I understood why Alice had been blocking her thoughts since last night. "Alice stop singing Spice Girls and tell me what is going on" I said in a low hiss. She shrugged as she looked down 'Once you decided to try I saw you not being able to think of a way to tell her so I kind of called her last night and explained everything to her. She's okay with it really she says if it doesn't work out at least you two will be better friends and she misses us all anyway. Her flight got here an hour ago. I just want you to be happy Edward.' She thought it all so fast it hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't be mad at Alice for toying in my life, she did just want me to be happy. I loved her too much to be upset over something like this even though I didn't like it. I was looking forward to the time I was going to have to get used to the idea and think it all the way through. "Why did he stop the car? Does he not want me here? Maybe I should have asked him before I left instead of taking Alice's word." Tanya thought as she stared out the kitchen window where she sat with Esme awaiting us to return from school. After hearing Tanya's worried thoughts I began I slowly started driving again, allowing time to clam down. "Its alright dear, I'm sure it just shocked him that's all Edward would never be put out with you for listening to Alice. You'll see everything's alright." I heard Esme tell Tanya as we pulled down the long drive to the house. Tanya's thoughts remained worried until we began getting out of my car and she could see us. "Be nice Edward she's nervous." Esme warned me through her thoughts.
Esme made her way to the front porch with Tanya following suit. Alice danced her way to Tanya hugging her and giving her a small reassuring smile before fully letting go. I stood back waiting for her to take everything in. Letting a mental chuckle slip as saw Rosalie's face when she understood that Tanya would be here for an extended period of time. Rosalie prided herself on her beauty to say she acted haughty to Tanya would have to be an understatement. Tanya would be what you can consider a succubus. She relayed on her looks to get what she wanted, mostly men using them for her own pleasure. Even though Tanya's beauty is impressive, Rosalie's was flawless that changed nothing Rosalie still hated her with a passion. "Edward?" Tanya said looking a little uneasy from the front steps. Noticing everyone made their way inside I made my way to say hello. "Is this alright? I can leave if you'd rather like I know you weren't informed of any of this I would understand" she said as she looked at me from under her eyelashes as she attempted to flirt. I smiled "no Tanya stay it is more then alright I just hope you can understand I can't promise anything. I'm not even sure if this is a good idea to be honest." I sighed looking down at her for the first time since I started speaking. She looked at me hopeful smiled and said "Hey we are just friend's right? Whatever happens, happens."
Hearing foot steps outside my door brought me out of my memories and back to the present time. Tanya knocked before letting herself into my room. A small smile sat on her lips as she crossed the room giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before taking a hold of my arm and sitting with me. I let myself glace at the clock before turning to her only twenty minutes before we would have to leave for school if we were to be on time. Ten if I said I needed to get gas before school. "How did the hunt go?" I asked to break her away from staring at me and batting her eyelashes. After being around each other for almost ten years now I would have thought she learned that her ways had no affect on me, yet she tried even harder now then before. "Good, it does tend to bring out a yearning in me though" she said leaning into my side staring up at me. As if I called her on command Alice pops her head in the door "Do you mind if we leave early I need to talk to about us making up for a test next week, it will be sunny." she asked while trying to look sad about having to interfere with what Tanya was trying. "Absolutely Alice" I responded trying to keep the joy out of my voice. "You owe me" She thought as she danced away. Clever little pixie I owe you more then you knew, I couldn't help but sigh as I heard her make her way down stairs and out to the car. "Have a good day with Esme, Tanya I will see you when you get back." Hoping she would not even try I began to stand up. Using her speed she was in front of me with her hand on my face leaning in I turned just in time for her to kiss my cheek. The disappointment showed in her eyes as I took her hand and kiss it to show no hard feelings. I tried to block out her thoughts knowing what they would be. I gave her a small smile as I turned and made my way to the car. " He's not even trying, if only he was human I would make him love me and turn him myself then he could never leave me. Maybe I can talk him into at least giving himself to me fully then he would see how we are each others counter." Tanya thought watching us from the guest bedroom window.
Remembering back before Tanya started to stay with us, I hated school. Now I some what welcome it. While I would rather be able to sleep I knew the closest I would come to sleep would be to day dream of it. Once we were out of vampire ear shot I shot a glance at Alice , she shrugged as if to say it was nothing. "oh it was nothing Edward, I just didn't want her feelings to get hurt and Esme have to deal with her in a bad mood today while they were shopping that's all." Yet she was still blocking me by chanting the complete bible in her head. "Demon pixie" I almost growled. Everyone besides Rosalie let out a small laugh. Rosalie's thoughts were right were they always find themselves, focused on herself.
We all let out a sigh as we pulled into the University of the Fraser Valley parking lot. Emmett opened the passenger door first turning to open the back passenger side door for Rosalie. The way they looked and thought about each other never used to bother me, but since Tanya came to stay with us it made me sick. I did crave what they had, yet the idea of Tanya being my only option made me upset vampires couldn't die. Ah I shouldn't be thinking like that. I found myself regretting my choice in not sending Tanya home the second I heard she was here more and more each day. I waved off the others off and headed to the health sciences building, thankful it was opened in 1992 rather then 1982 like the last university we attended. One last week I thought to myself as I opened the door to my morning class. "Well hello handsome what I wouldn't give to wake up sore next to that…" The class lush thought as I walked in. I sighed for the first time in quite a few years I was thankful we were moving. I was used to the human thoughts about us. But I was hoping the move would keep Tanya's mind off me for a small amount of time.