She wasn't sure it wasn't a dream. The events leading up to it had been stressful to say the least so maybe it had been a dream. They had sent a M.A.L.P to P9C-372, which triggered some kind of energy being to come through the Gate and highjack Sam Carter's body. The being, which they had called the Entity, had come to destroy them because it had preserved them as threat to it's kind. It had held Sam's body hostage, knowing from watching while it was in the system and from accessing Sam's mind, that the others wouldn't hurt Sam. Sam could do little more then silently scream in her own consciousness and watch as everyone she cared about tried to get the damn thing to give her up.

Jack had pushed the Entity, telling it that he would send a fleet of M.A. to it's planet to wipe out all of it ilk if it didn't give up Sam's body. The Entity reacted in a fit of rage and fear, and after breaking loose of the restraints keeping it confined to a bed in the infirmary it tried what Jack would call a Hail Mary, a suicide attack. Cornered in a hallway the Entity attacked by surging its energy into the wires and connections closest to it. Somehow during this process Sam's consciousness was uploaded into the memory nest the Entity had built for it's self in the maintenance bay. It was while she was in the base's computer system that Sam saw things that she wouldn't have normally allowed herself to see.

She and Janet Frasier had been friends from almost the very moment they'd met in General Hammond's office three and half years ago. Janet had just been assigned to the base as their chief medical officer and the first thing Hammond had done, as was his custom being the proud papa type he was, was to introduce their new doctor to SG-1. Sam had never been one to make friends easily but there had just been something about the smaller woman. Janet had been easy to be around, easy to talk to, and didn't seem to bothered whenever Sam geeked out, as Jack called it. In fact the petite doctor could hold her own in scientific and intellectual conversations, which had made it a pleasure for Sam to spend time with her. Their friendship grew over the weeks and months to come and when Sam rescued Cassandra that friendship became the base for an odd little partnership. Sam wasn't ready or willing to be a mother to anyone, not even Cassie who she'd bounded with and cared deeply for, but Janet was. Janet was more then ready, willing and able to take the frightened, lonely little girl into her home and her heart. Janet would be Cassie's mother and Sam would be around to be more of a cool aunt, it was perfect for her. For Sam she was getting the best of all possible worlds. When her feelings for Janet began to grow and change it was easy for Sam for hide from them because she could hide behind rules and regulations, and her own fears of losing her best friend and the little girl she loved so dearly. Detached from her body and the emotional defenses she'd put into place, Sam could no longer pretend that there wasn't something more between her and Janet.

What Sam had noticed while looking at the world through surveillance cameras and audio taps was the look on Janet's face after Jack's second shot with the zat gun. The first shot from a zat stunted, the second killed. The look Janet gave Jack in that moment said he'd just taken something precious from her, someone precious, and that if Sam was dead she would blame him for her death for the rest of her life. Jack knew in that moment that Ol' Doc Frasier loved Samantha Carter as much as he did. Poor Jack. Months before the Entity situation he and his team had been faced with the threat of goa'uld sleeper agents and for a short time during their investigation it had been thought that he and Sam were one of these Za'tarc things. They weren't of course, but what made the Tok'ra's Za'tarc machine think they were sleeper agents was the fact that they were both hiding memories and emotions. Jack was canceling his feelings for Sam and as it turned out Sam had been hiding her feelings for Janet.

Sam did her best to avoid Janet after that; because of course her best friend had been there to hear her forced confession. Work helped a lot, there were alien human descendants to relocate, save from an automated terra forming ship, and then send off to their lost homeworld. There were colonels and Jaffa to rescue from failed test flights. Space mines to reprogram. A time loop of some kind that she didn't remember but still wondered why Jack asked her to never ever eat blue jello in front of him again, especially when Janet was around. The trip to Egypt looking for Osiris had been a little awkward since Janet was with her on that one, but they'd been on a mission and they'd had Daniel along to keep them focused on finding the accidently freed goa'uld.

Being trapped by the Entity, having her body seemingly killed by a zat blast, it forced Sam to stop avoiding Janet. Once she'd made her presence in the computer known and her consciousness downloaded back into her body Sam had to process what she'd seen in the hallway and what she'd heard in Janet's voice when she'd told Jack of the living will Sam had. Having her body, mind, and emotions back meant Sam had to deal with how it felt when Janet's face was the first thing she saw, her touch the first thing she felt, and her voice the first thing she heard. Sam had barely done any of that when she found herself alone in the infirmary with Janet listening to her best friend scold her for scaring her like that, and then suddenly out of the blue Janet's hands were holding her face so tenderly and then Janet's lips were pressed to her own.

It was the kiss Sam wasn't sure about. Had it been a dream? Or had it been real? In the week that followed while Sam recovered in the infirmary neither of them spoke of the kiss. Janet smiled, she held Sam's hand, and she teased her friend as she kept a close eye on her recovery. They talked about official base news and scuttlebutt, they talked about Cassie, they talked about needing vacations and movies they wanted to see, anything and everything but the kiss. Now that Sam was out of the infirmary and free to get on with things she decided maybe they should talk about the kiss. The more time she spent away from Janet and the pretense of normality they'd built around themselves the more she realized the kiss had been real. It was the scariest thing Sam had even done, and she'd done some pretty scary things since joining the SGC, but Sam needed to know. What did that kiss mean?

Pulling up outside of Janet's house Sam shut off her car and sat there for a few moments. Was she really about to walk into her best friend's house and ask her why she kissed her? Was this really a good idea? If the kiss meant Janet felt something more for Sam than just friendship, the way Sam felt about Janet, then what? They could never be together. They were both women, women in the Air Force, they could never be together, there were rules, regulations that said they could never be together. Sam reached for the key in the ignition. This was a bad idea. She'd just start the car and leave, that would be the smart thing to do. Pulling the key out of its slot Sam opened the car door and stepped out. Stuffing her keys into the pocket of her jeans Sam made her way up to Janet's front door. She balled her fist and raised it to knock but stopped just short. Did she have a right to do this? This wasn't just about her and how she felt and her career, this was about Janet too. Janet hadn't brought it up, she hadn't made a big deal about it, maybe Sam shouldn't. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. They were best friends, Sam was helping Janet raise Cassie, maybe the kiss wasn't meant to be more than Janet's relief that her friend was alive when she should have been dead.

Taking a deep breath Sam knocked on Janet's door.

The sudden knock made Janet jump. She wasn't expecting anyone, Cassie was already out with her friends so she doubted it was someone for her, and they rarely got drop in visitors. In fact the most common drop in visitor was Sam. Despite the fact that they saw each other on a nearly daily basis Janet missed Sam. Ever since Sam's big secret was revealed she'd been avoiding Janet, and to be honest that hurt. Janet knew Sam well enough to know why Sam had been avoiding her, but that didn't make it any easier on her. She understood that Sam used the rules and regulations of the military as a shield, a protective layer between herself and the hurt and pain she associated with love. Janet had been an adult when her father died and it had been one of the hardest things she'd ever been through. She couldn't imagine how devastating losing her mother while she was still a girl was to Sam, though after taking in Cassie she had at least a vague idea. When Sam's mother died things got a little skewed emotionally for her. She'd been angry with Jacob, blaming him for the accident, and yet she needed him so badly that she would have done anything to get his attention, his approval. Janet never doubted that Sam would have joined the military on her own, it was the only way for her to reach her dreams, but joining the Air Force had become the link to Jacob she so desperately needed. Of course this put a wedge between herself and her brother Mark. Love and family had become complicated for Sam, the Air Force, the SGC made sense, it was safe, so when Janet sat down and really looked at things she could see and understand why Sam was acting the way she was.

Janet hadn't pushed Sam just for Sam's sake. Despite the fact that she'd been over the moon to find out Sam felt the same way she did, Janet knew that it couldn't go further than just knowing. She had worked really hard to make a life for herself after her disaster of a marriage. She hard earned her rank and position in the Air Force and in the SGC, and she'd proven time and again while at SGC that she was a valuable asset. Hell just keeping Daniel alive on a weekly basis should have her on the fast track to general. The kinds of things she was faced with day to day challenged her in a way she absolutely loved; she got to use her skills not only as a doctor but also a scientist. The Stargate gave her a chance to be a healer, a researcher, and even a solider from time to time. Though the latter had been a little jarring at first. Following the Hathor takeover Janet had decided to refresh her combat skills. She'd basically put herself back into boot camp and continued to work with one of the training sergeants and Teal'c.

Pursuing a relationship with Sam would mean knowingly violating the military code of conduct as well as disregarding the regulation against fraternizing. Though they could actually get around that part. Unlike Sam and Jack, Sam and Janet weren't in the same direct chain of command. Sam might outrank her for the moment but as chief medical officer Janet's command exceeded Sam's. They'd be ok on the fraternizing front but Don't Ask Don't Tell still stopped them in their tracks. Janet knew damn well there were LGBT service men and women, hell she was even sure there were some right there in the Mountain, but as long as DADT was in place she and Sam would have to keep a relationship secret. So much of their lives were already wrapped up in secrets, could they honestly add another?

Funny thing is that Janet knew deep down if it meant having something real and lasting with Sam she'd put her double bars in the General's hand and walk away without hesitation. Would Sam do the same? She didn't honestly know and she would never ask her too. Things were just fine the way they were. Sam was her best friend, she was there for her and Cassie whenever they needed her, and anything more was a nice dream but just a dream. Janet just hoped she hadn't ruined what they had by kissing her. She honestly had no clue why she'd given in and kissed Sam. She knew it was out of pure relief that Sam was alive, but Sam had nearly died before and she'd always managed to keep herself under control. Maybe it was because she knew how Sam felt about her now or maybe it was because she'd witnessed the whole thing. Normally she got Sam after the fact, this time she'd heard the whine of the zat gun, felt the slight buzz in the air from the energy weapon's discharge, inhaled the stench of singed hair, and saw Jack O'Neill standing there holding the weapon as Sam's body crumpled to the floor.

When she'd been talking to Jack about Sam's living will all she could think was I never told her I loved her too. She'll never know I feel the same way, that she isn't alone, I'm here if she really wanted me. After she'd finished yelling at Sam for scaring her again and Sam's voice took on that soft innocent tone as she said she was sorry and then flashed her that cheeky grin, Janet just couldn't stop herself. She kissed Sam. When she closed her eyes at night Janet could still feel the way Sam's face felt in her hands, the soft warmth of her lips, the race car pace her heart had set in her chest. It was a perfect moment, one Janet would always cherish because she was fairly certain it would be the only time she'd get to kiss Samantha Carter.

The second set of knocks on the door brought Janet out of her thoughts and on her feet. When she finally opened the door she was more than a little surprised to see Sam standing there. "Sam?"

"Hi." Sam said with a small smile.

"Hi." Janet replied.

There was an awkward moment before Sam asked, "Can I come in?"

Janet nodded and berated herself for not inviting Sam in on her own. "Yes, of course."

"Thanks." Sam said as she walked past Janet who'd stepped aside to let her in.

Jumping to the most oblivious reason for Sam's unexpected visit Janet said, "Cassie's not here."

"That's ok." Sam said. After Janet had closed the door Sam followed the shorter woman into the living room. "I'm not here to see Cass. I'm here to talk to you."

Janet turned to face Sam, instant concern in her big brown eyes. "Are you ok, Sam?"

"I'm fine, Janet." Sam said as she reached out and took her friend's hand. She gave it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go and then sitting down on the sofa.

Sam's gaze locked with her own and stayed like that as Janet moved to sit beside her. There were times in the past when Sam would come over to talk because she knew she could trust Janet and that Janet would understand. Janet knew of the guilt, anger, sadness and remorse Sam was often left with following a mission just as Sam knew of the same whenever Janet lost a patent or came close to it. Some nights they would talk for hours on end while other nights were spent sharing a bottle of wine, a bar of dark chocolate and their conversations consisted of soft sighs and mumbled grunts. "Wine?"

"Its not even noon yet, Janet." Sam said with a chuckle. "Besides I want my head clear for what I have to say."

Janet saw something in Sam's eyes that she'd never seen before and she was instantly flooded with a mix of emotions ranging from fear to excitement.

Sam still wasn't sure this was the right thing to do. She was anxious and scared but in a way she'd never felt before. This felt like if this went wrong it would be more devastating than anything she'd faced in the past. And if this went well then her life was about to get a hell of lot more complicated, but it would totally be worth it.

"Sam?" Janet said softly as she put her hand on Sam's knee.

Sam took a breath and just said it, "You kissed me."

"I…" Janet was not expecting that. She pulled her hand away and turned to look at anything but Sam. "Yes. I did."

Sam sighed softly in relief. "Ok, so not a dream. It was real. I knew it was real."

Janet dared a quick look at Sam. There was relief in her bright blue eyes and that damn adorable smirk on her lips. "You thought it might be a dream?"

"Yeah." Sam blushed a little.

Now Janet was the one who smirked. "Do you often dream of me kissing you?"

Before she could stop herself Sam said, "Yeah." The smirk said she dreamed about more than just a kiss and when she realized what she was doing Sam blushed even more and quickly ducked her head until she could get her face uncontrolled again.

It all made Janet smile.

"What did it mean, Janet?" Sam asked next and then turned to look at her friend again. "The kiss, I mean, what did the kiss mean?"

Janet was quiet and still for several long seconds before turning to face Sam a little better. Now she felt like the one dreaming. She'd been so sure something like this would never happen that this had to be a dream, right? Only the warmth she felt from sitting so close to Sam, the faint smell of Sam's perfume, and the typhoon of butterflies in her stomach told her this was all very real. "I was unbearably relieved that you were alive and being so overwhelmed made it hard for me to hold back."

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. "Do you hold back a lot?"

"Yes." Janet admitted.

"Oh." Sam said with a crooked smile. "Why?"

"Why?" Janet asked, her voice taking on a tone that said she couldn't believe Sam would ask that, while her eyebrow was doing a very good imitation of Teal'c basic facial expression. Sam knew why.

"Yeah." Sam replied. "Why?"

Janet almost looked angry about the question now. "You know why, Sam. You were willing to be put into a coma because of the why."

"I almost died, Janet." Sam said softly.

"Yes." Janet replied. She couldn't bear to look at Sam just this so she turned away. "You do that a lot."

Things were getting a little tense and that wasn't the mood Sam had been going for so she decided to defuse things a little. "Not as much as Daniel."

There was that damn cheeky smirk and playful tone that Janet just couldn't ignore. Janet smiled despite herself. "SG-1 is such a pain in my ass."

"Yeah but you love us anyway." Sam said quickly.

"Some of you more than others." Janet replied.

"I always knew you played favorites." Sam teased. "It's Teal'c isn't it?"

"I've never kissed Teal'c." Janet said simply. At least not that she was aware of. She wished they knew more about what happened in that time loop.

Sam couldn't help but smile. "We're really dancing around this now aren't we?"

"Well you really like dancing." Janet pointed out.

Silence came over them both as they tried to regroup. They were flirting, so that had to mean something right? Sam was getting the impression that she wasn't about to ask Janet to take a risk she wasn't willing to take, but it still wasn't easy. Her first instinct was to protect Janet, and protecting her would be not putting her into a risky situation. "I take a lot of risks, Janet, every time I go through the Stargate or work on some piece of alien tech I know nothing about. But all the risks I take, I'm taking them for the benefit of other people. I've never taken a risk for just myself, I mean, not any kind of meaningful risk. The fast cars and motorcycles don't count."

"It wouldn't be easy Sam." Janet said softly.

"Nothing worth having is easy." Sam replied.

That was a cliché but very true. It was in no way easy raising a little girl who was the only survivor of planet wide genocide, who's been used to hurt people, and then found herself lost and alone on a strange planet with strange people and customs. It was however the most important, most meaningful, most joyous thing Janet had ever done. Having Cassandra in her life was worth everything to Janet, and so was Sam. "If you're willing, Sam, than so am I."

"Really?" Sam squeaked in surprise.

Janet laughed softly. "Yes, really."

"Ok then." Sam said with the biggest smile. "Um, so, I guess, um, dinner? Saturday night?"

Janet returned that bright smile with one of her own. "It's a date."