My pink underwear down, to my ankles, and somewhere far off almost in the mist of this moment, I hear my name being called. But all I feel are her hands, ravaging me, having me in a way no one else will. She murmurs words of love against my hot skin that beads drops of sweat down my brow and along my collar bone.
"You're… so soft…. Beautiful… so warm…"
With a sharp intake of breath, I let my guard down, releasing myself. A hiss of pleasure dies in my throat as she kneels down, tongue to my center. My head leans back against the cool stone wall. I can't… I can't…. I see stars, dazzling, blazing in front of my eyes. Mouth ajar I shut my eyes, tightly and squirm against her.
My legs shake, quivering to her hands as they rest on my hips- trying to steady me. I close my thighs around her cheeks; I want to hold her there, a little longer… She pulls away, showing me herself as she comes out from the curtain of my dress. Her eyes are glistening in the dim light of the backstage room. Her flushed face and plump lips drive me to the floor, knees buckling, I fall.
We are eye to eye now and I close the distance with a kiss. I taste myself in her mouth, the thick substance burning my tongue as I swirl it 'round earning a dry throaty moan to escape her trembling lips. Too much, this is all too much, my stomach lurches with the excitement and joy all overwhelming me.
I want to devour her in this moment. I want to sink my teeth into her shoulder as I finger her folds and finally hear what her coming cries sound like. She is a budding rose that I so desperately want to deflower for myself. I want to have myself inside her velvet world of liquid and soft tissue.
Someone is calling, I hear my name much clearer now, so vividly, and it scares me because that means the spell of our moment is broken. The reality of my life crashes down like a tidal wave and I drown unwillingly.
"Don't go," She begs, her hand to my wrist as I stand to leave- heed to the call of my name, "Please, don't go." Her voice is thick and husky as she makes pleas for my heart.
"You know I can't." I whisper bending down to press my lips to her cheek.
She is upset, I see it in the way her shoulders drop, eyes fall into a new blazing icy blue, "I won't be back if you go I won't stay." She tells me with a bitter edge that slaps me on each cheek.
They call me, beckon me and I know the choice, I know that this is a milestone. My eyes catch the top of her sunflower colored hair. Just a glimce and I know that her beautiful golden sunray hair is what I will miss the most. I turn on my high heeled boot and walk away; feet feeling heavier then they did before.
My pink underwear is damp and my thighs feel sticky. I walk and I don't hear a thing, not my name as the fans scream it or anything else concerning the band or stage. All I hear is the sound of my sunbathed beauty's muffled cry, it rings inside me and I know that is done. She will not stay. I choose. The spotlight burns my eyes like the sun would on a warm summer day and that feeling, the one filling me up with complete grief and sorrow lets me know that my choice was wrong.
I reach for the microphone and I picture what they would say, what my father would say. But then I think about her and her voice and thought is all that matters. I turn, I walk away, the music stops, the crowd dies down and a blank stare of confusion spreads across the auditorium.
I race back, back to my sunlight, my golden girl. My feet are leading me, my heart lighting the way. I reach the backstage room with its dim lighting, out of breath… there is nothing. There is nothing but an empty corner.
"Lilly?" My voice… and nothing else.
(end)
Author's Note: I sat down, finally, to write another chapter for Paper Cuts but I was feeling so miserable because of pervious actions of the day and so this came out instead.
Inspiration: (I should have called, my dear, I know. I should not have left you to the empty corner.) And Death Cab for Cutie's song 'Lack of Color.'