I promised you something today. I thought it was going to be an ABN update, but I changed my mind. You get more Darrell, simply because you asked for it. You will note that I included Darrell ignoring some very complex feelings he has for Ally. Can be read as pre-ship if you squint. Someone asked for Darrell/Ally and this was what came out. Let that be a lesson to you! Tell me what you want to see and I shall write it. Requests are taken. Reasoning for story below.
Darrell had realized something as his mind drifted off during English class. Sam and Jake were freaks of nature and that's all there was to it. He'd been sitting in English class trying to work out how long his plan would take. There had to be a formula. After 16 years, they'd held hands. Maybe after 30, if they were lucky, he could expect them to kiss. He knew it would take them time to get used to having another person in their personal space, so he crossed out a figure of years and added another fifteen to it. After 75 years, maybe they would marry, and then...Oh, God, Darrell needed brain bleach. Nobody wanted to think of anyone over 30 knocking boots. Adding some quick figures, for Darrell to get them settled down, it would be 267 years. Not even a Galapagos turtle lived that long.
He thumphed his desk with his pink eraser, and the whole room turned to look at him during Deetz's presentation. Who cared though, because they were back to being turtles! Where was a teenage mutant ninja turtle when he needed one? Sensei would not have allowed such cowardice from his turtles. Darrell's turtles were not out crime fighting, no sir, or settling down to a lifetime of sniping fights and boring as hell things like movie nights and book reading. Once, he had caught them in Jake's room with the door shut. Gleefully, he'd peeked in, half expecting to see some part of Sam unclothed. But no! They'd been sitting opposite each other, each with a different book in hand, sitting in silence under the glow of the lamp, mutely turning pages, not even noticing his peeking ways. That behavior was just like them.
In other words, they had settled back down to their status quo. Were they stupid? Did he have to do everything? His mom always said, "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself." Darrell took her words to heart. But...what to do?
What to do? Increasing his flirting with Sam was out of the question, though on the upside it did seem to rile up everyone involved. He discarded it, though, when he thought of the heavy weight of Jake's fists, not to mention the reenforced toes of his work boots.
But their behavior wasn't normal. They didn't go out, they didn't ever seem to have fun! Something in Deetz's presentation hit home though. "It is clear that the character was a victim of extreme introversion and thusly..." Darrell nearly roared in triumph. Sam and Jake were introverts, and that's why they were moving so slowly. If he could make them be extroverted, things would work out perfectly.
Obviously, the universe agreed with him because not two hours later, a note was passed to him in Physics. It read, in block handwriting: PARTY! Friday night. 10 o'clock. Pass it on! The place was listed below. Darrell knew that second that he would stop at nothing to get his erstwhile buddy at that party. If Sam and Jake could see how normal couples acted, maybe they would get the idea. Big groups of people dancing, loud music, set just the right atmosphere for amorous development.
That night, he called Jake on the phone only to have the message machine pick up. Why the heck did he never pick up? He called and called until Jake picked up, but Jake flat out refused to go. Darrell pulled his trump card. "But...Sammy Darlin' has already said she'd go." She hadn't of course, but Jake didn't know that.
On the other end of the line, Jake had sighed. "Guess we have no choice then. She's got no business being there."
Score! Now all he had to do was convince Sam. That was actually harder. She didn't buy that Jake was going to be there, and she didn't care that there was a brand new barn and schooling ring to see at his friend's place. Apparently, Darrell had interrupted a Sam and Jake tradition of polishing tack together. Who polished tack on a friday night when there were parties to be attended and people to be met? "Sammy, please? For your old buddy Darrell?"
She relented with a sigh. "If you're sure that Ally is going to be there. She asked me to help with the cherubs' next performance, and I swore I would and we just haven't had time to talk."
He knew Ally would be there, as the girl felt this overwhelming desire to mother everyone and everything she came into contact with. She was a sweet girl, really, but would likely be drug to the party with a friend who she felt obligated to protect. It seemed odd that she'd go, given that her father was a mean drunk, but Darrell figured she would be, given her friend's brother was hosting it. She'd go out of duty. "I promise."
Friday found Jake and Darrell sitting at the kitchen table of River Bend. This time, they were eating Grace's cookies, waiting for Sam. She entered, coming down the stairs into the kitchen. Jake flicked his gaze over her, Darrell noticed. "Brat, what are you wearing?"
"A skirt, Jerk." She gestured to a denim skirt. Darrell supposed it was squarish, not exactly skin tight, but it did seem shorter than her church ones. It hit her knees. "It's a knee length skirt, Jerk. I'm wearing a sweater. It's fine."
"It's more than fine, Sammy." Brynna was carrying the baby, who fussed for Sam. Sam took her brother and asked her stepmother, "How do I look?" Darrell nearly gagged when he noticed that Sam moved towards Jake slightly, holding the baby in her arms. Jake took the child, even as he remained seated, and Sam began to interact with him as Jake looked at them both with a hooded expression in his eyes. Darrell wanted to scream. But then, the kid would cry and god only knew what would happen if a baby did that. He didn't know if it was normal for them to cry.
He heard Brynna continue, "Just lovely. You all go on and have a good time. I've told your father not to wait up. We're trusting Darrell to get you back here in one piece. Have fun, honey." Brynna seemed excited for her, as though she was doing something she'd had no idea she was expected to do.
Darrell noted that him being in charge didn't sit too well with his buddy. There went the jaw. Ten points! If he could make Jake flinch, he'd get 200. This was a great game. He should know, he'd invented it. It had been a long process, slowly gauging what actions upset Jake the most. He'd gotten his best score, 593 points in one day when there'd been a reason or something that Sam had fallen in mud and her clothes had stuck to her like glue. They'd gone back to River Bend and Wyatt had actually asked him his intentions regarding Sam with Jake in the room. So of course, he'd simply had to lie. Jake had vibrated with fury for days after that. It had been glorious. He held out hope that the party would be as awesome, in a different way.
Two hours later, Darrell could have laughed at his expectations. When they'd gotten there, the house had been jamming, rocking. AC/DC was blasting, and it soon shifted over to some pop female artist, who was crappy, but people danced because the tune was catchy. Darrell had gotten thirsty, and had gone for a soda. He wasn't drinking because he'd seen Ally, and somehow, he couldn't touch the stuff once he'd looked into her eyes. She was his friend, and he didn't know why the situation hit so close to home or why he so often was affected by her. He shrugged. Soda was fine, anyway. He found Sam and Jake standing in the nearly empty kitchen. Sam was fixing the clip on the chip bags and Jake was using his leather hair tie to play with the family house cat. Darrell could have cried. "What are you doing?" His shock reverberated in each word.
Sam replied. "Oh, well. The chips were going to go stale, and the cat seemed bored, so..."
"The cat. Seemed bored?" What? The everlasting thundercats? Did God hate him? God must hate him. Why was he given such dumb friends? "There is a party out there. Go dance. Talk about sports or your horses, or cake, for all I care." Darrell explained, or ordered rather.
"Look man, you tricked us into coming." Jake asserted. Darrell's face colored. He'd been figured out. Maybe they did talk once in a while. He somehow imagined them standing about in silence, like they often did when he was around, or exchanging little conversation beyond what was needed to get work done, as was more common.
"It's fine, because I'm waiting for Ally. She went to the bathroom." Sam corrected.
Jake just shrugged. Darrell left when Ally entered the room. He never quite knew what to say to her.
Some time later, Darrell noted with excitement that Sam and Jake were standing in one of the rooms, off to the side. He failed to note how red faced they both were at the dancing going on or at how uncomfortable they seemed with the noise. He did not see them slip out the front door until he went looking for them. He found them both sitting in Jake's truck. The radio was on, and they were listening to some AM radio show they both enjoyed. Darrell knew that that subgenre was one Sam enjoyed the most, but he noted that Jake often allowed her to turn it on, claiming that he didn't much mind it.
"You guys! You didn't even do anything at the party!" Darrell nearly scolded. "Why are you out here?"
"Waiting on you. We've got to be in the saddle early tomorrow, Darrell." Jake said.
"Shit, man! Work, work, work!" Darrell laughed even though inside he was sad. His perfectly formulated plan had crashed and burned faster than unwatched popcorn in a microwave.
Sam gaped. "Have you been drinking?" She asked as he climbed into the passenger seat, forcing her to take the middle.
"No, I'm a bit hopped up with all the energy I get from talking to people." Darrell said.
"Oh." Sam seemed confused.
Soon, they were back at River Bend. Jake had refused flat out to let Darrell drop him off first. He'd gotten another 32 points out of his game. Wound up as he was, it was a good score. Jake said, "Night, Brat."
"Night, Darrell. Jake." She forced to Darrell to get out so she could exit the cab, and as she did, he thought he heard her say "I actually had fun tonight." But that couldn't be true, because Jake agreed to whatever she'd said, and no one could have had fun hanging out doing nothing with a random cat or listening in silence to an AM radio show when there was a party going on.
It appeared he was back to the drawing board with his plan of getting them together. It looked like more research would be in order. Perhaps he could make a list of things he liked to do that would show Sam and Jake how to become a couple. What to start with, though? A party wasn't enough. He needed to pull out the big guns. This would require some planning.
I am an introvert, and I get so annoyed when well meaning friends try to make be extroverted, if such a thing were possible. This came out of my frustrations. Darrell is so clueless, it's impossible to not love him. There will be more Sake Darrell POV one shots in this theme.
Please review, with requests, if you want.