Harry Potter and the Dehydrated Quads and Plant of Which
Once upon a time, there was a man named Dobby. He was actually a house elf, so don't get me wrong. Anyway, Dobby was walking around with his pet noodle, and was allowing it to secrete its salty bouillon cube liquid. Once, when I was a young boy, I ate an old piece of bread. Raisins.
Ok. Harry had been thinking about him for days. Mr. Weasley that is. But at the same time he had a strange craving for bouillon. Perhaps he could get both of these things at once! When he saw Dobby, he knew that he needed to have a threesome.
Harry loved the way Lucius Malfoy purred Arthur's name. It was almost as melodic as bullion. Mr. Weasley was, after all, an accomplished ping pong player. Mrs. Weasley, while pooping pompously, had taught Arthur to play Ping-Pong using solely his pale perfect pock.
The.
Using his ear cleaning device, Harry took a trip to the grocery store to purchase more ammo for his bazooka. It was not until he got there that he realized that he had forgotten to take off his scib. This caused Harry to collapse in front of everyone and allowed poop to leak from under his basket. Happy Pot. I like the feeling of cheese on a warm summers day as the flies buzz around and land gracefully on its yellow suppleness.
So.
Dobby and Arthur arrived in front of Harry's cabinet, each bearing a gift of golf tee's and bouillon cubes. Harry greeted the two gentlemen with a grin. Poggles. They entreated admittance to Harry's cave and at once, Harry said, "specialus revealo." At once, their clothes flew off. At once.
"Oh baby," said Harry. Dobby said –
Well, Dobby couldn't say anything. Harry was all over him using his mad broomstick skills. Arthur was especially good at using muggle objects, a specialty of his... Mrs. Whitt—Weasley had also given him lessons in this along with their ping pong tournaments. At once.
At once.
Jerry did not know where to begin because he never had a proper introduction. So he died.
Harry was thinking back on this experience as he peeled potatoes, muggle style, staring out the kitchen window, watching the snow fall and the gnomes wank off. Harry smiled, for the snow reminded him of Mrs. Weasely's pale tits.
Suddenly Harry was aware that he had forgotten his Viagra. But he was a wizard, after all. Pointing his wand down at himself, he uttered, "Petrificus totalus."
A nuclear bomb exploded in Harry's testicles, causing him to feel a sudden burning sensation. Later that week, he had to go in for a colonoscopy.
Towards.
Harry and Jerry lived at once happily ever after and ice-cream.
But Jerry died. And Ron walked in, farting.
The End.